[dissohciate]

about!

nikki. 20s. bisexual. she/her. nc. cool and normal writer. audhd & cptsd (numerous misdx). i look like this. currently listening to this on loop.

interests!

i love goth music and culture, southern gothic, neowesterns, y2k nostalgia, cats (i have 1 black cat, bourdain jude scott townes), 70s/80s horror, vampires, run-down small towns, and makeup.

find me elsewhere!

pinterest ✮ letterboxd ✮ goodreads ✮ spotify

[4daloveofkj-deactivated20201014]

Social media has made us so eager to “show and tell” but there is beauty in privacy. Everything isn’t meant to be on display. It’s perfectly fine to keep some things for you.

[acefuruya]

nikki breaks my heart so bad because in the brief moments we see her before the wish kicks in, she's so cool and funny, clearly kindhearted, very driven about her future (telling bear about how she was going to quit her job to focus on her writing), and also very sure of herself as a person. ive seen people describe this movie as "mean-spirited" and I think thats so apt because it was a 2 hour long tragedy of the torture of this innocent girl, taking away everything she's ever had, including her own sense of self, putting her through unimaginable horrors, and leaving her with nothing except the three dead bodies of her friends, with the one who she trusted most being the one who did this to her. nothing for her to look for hope in, because she has nothing before her except a lifetime in prison or in an institution. it would be one thing if the movie ended on a note like weapons, where everything was over and there would hopefully be recovery somewhere down the line, but here, not only was the evil not committed by a random stranger but her closest friend, but she doesn't get any chance at recovery either. so goddamn tragic. on that note, if anyone can come up with some sort of fix-it for nikki please link it to me because I will be crying about this girl forever.

[myqueenmarceline]

Ok so I read the website for these things but hear me out: per “person” does not mean per body. It’s very clearly established throughout the film that there is Nikki the real human girl, and not-Nikki. Regardless of if you think she’s a reflection of Bear’s inner view of his desires/what he wants from Nikki or some kind of entity that was created due to the impossibility of creating a Nikki as she was that loved Bear, that is not the same as the person Nikki. The movie makes this very clear multiple times.

I don’t know if I can truly in my heart of hearts buy that this is what happens, but if I was approach a fix-it I would do it from that angle: Nikki has one stick. She has one wish. Terrified, traumatized, and probably still hesitant to believe she’s really back in control of her body again, she makes a choice.

She wishes to be Nikki, just Nikki, far, far away from this place. Somewhere that no one will be able to connect her back to this, with no trace she was here to begin with.

Wish granted. Nikki wakes up in a new room, but it isn’t a house. It’s a studio apartment planted in the downtown of a bustling city in another country. This month’s rent is paid, but nothing else will be.

The closet is almost completely bare, and none of her items have come with her, not even her crystals. She loses her father, who she admittedly already hated. But who else was there? The father of the girl who stood back and looked down on her when she was falling apart? How could she have looked him in the eye again?

She’s alone, but she’s herself. She’s free.

She doesn’t touch love stories any more. At first, she writes around fiction entirely: technical writing, history, book reviews. When she finally dips in again, she starts with poetry. The completely different styles give her something to focus on, a format to consider as she chooses her words with care. After poetry comes fantasy, the kind of cosy fantasy where darkness is kept at bay and people are believed when they tell their struggles. A series of well-meaning therapists give her some comfort, but of course, she can’t ever tell them the full truth.

One night, she writes about what happened to her. The scrawl on the pages becomes illegible after the first 20, but she keeps going. Every ghost of that nightmare that continues to claw its way into her dreams is placed down.

Her hand is bleeding by the end of it. She walks outside in the early morning light and burns the pages. The ashes scatter to the wind like a flock of sparrows taking flight.

Her room is full of crystals. She layers necklaces and bracelets, weighs down her pockets and bags. She’s never felt so light.

And so, she lives. Nikki builds her own story from the ground up, and she lives.

[epellucid]

via

[papayajuan2019]

must feel so good to be soil absorbing rain

[briery]

Opal in petrified wood, Natural History Museum of Los Angeles, Gem and Mineral Hall Collection. By Stan Celestian on Flickr. (Hi-Res)

[xsweetstarx]

[craigslits]

[m-elloncollie]

apocalyptic sunset (2007)

[myworldofwhimsy-deactivated2026]

[etoileselectroniques-deactivate]

[claycoloredmotherlessness-deact]

[lohvenot-deactivated20170315]

[stepbaby]

Visit Original Link

Yeah, my baby has a baby, but it’s not me. 

It’s an AK47 semi-automatic gun and he loves her more than he loves me

[derangedoctopus]

The ending in "obsession" is the most horrifying part to me because much like real life,the man gets off scott free and the woman is left to deal with all the mess

[dissohciate]

he’s also the only character in the “friend” group — none of them are actually friends; they are coworkers who tolerate one another and formed wafer-thin and crumbling bonds due to prolonged proximity — to never have outright violence perpetrated against him.

in the climax, nikki whips herself with bear’s pistol, instead of him.

he never once takes accountability, starting with sandy’s death. he asks his cat’s corpse, “what did you do?!” as if he didn’t leave his oxycontin both out in the open, and quite literally open, otherwise sandy wouldn’t have been able to gain access to the pills. even when bear tells sarah about sandy’s death, he doesn’t tell her how sandy died: by his irresponsible, dangerous actions. and yet, bear is still more upset by the fact that nikki’s quitting the music store, and the idea that he may never see her again, than his only companion (in his dead grandmother’s house since her death, no less) passing.

so for nikki’s last line before the credits roll to be a choked, scream-sob asking herself, “WHAT DID YOU DO?!” was a great bookend of sorts. it could be misconstrued as her screaming at bear’s corpse, but real!nikki was shown to be quick-witted. she’s grappling with not only the textbook almost-immediate severe breakdown that many domestic abuse survivors experience once their abuser is out of the picture/they’re “safe,” — complete with the shame, self-blame, confusion, and almost-amnesiac gaps in memory that formed for her own protection, “entity” aside — on top of knowing she is about to go to prison.

nikki freeman is the most tragic example of a final girl i’ve ever seen: left to shoulder all the accountability for that musty, sweaty, insecure shrimp of a man’s severe psychological and sexual abuse of her, and she’s most likely going to prison?

it’s bleak. despite the fantastical elements, it’s heart-shatteringly realistic.

[shouts-into-the-void]

One thing about Obsession (2026) that I enjoyed was that it almost asks you to feel empathy for the entity possessing Nikki as well as the real one. Like, obviously the things she's doing are horrific and fucked up, but I think the scene where Bear is asking her to "just be Nikki!" and she eventually just desperatly screams "I can't be Nikki!" does a really good job of showcasing the entity's inner feelings. She's been created with the sole purpose of loving this guy more than anyone else but no matter how perfect it is or how much he claims to love her, its not her that he loves, its Nikki. And any time she stops pretending to be Nikki, he reacts (albeit rightfully) with disgust and horror. She can't be Nikki because Nikki would never love Bear, and so Bear will never love her.

[liwakio]

i can't be nikki