Ditha Kurniati Alamsyah

“She lives the poetry she cannot write”

[dithakur]

First time : 19 Juni 2017

Reconnect : 12 Juni 2024

It took 7 years.

[dithakur]

It’s okay.

20/366 di 2024. Diberi Tuhan pembelajaran hidup yang gaakan saya lupain. Mau gimanapun lo berusaha untuk tampil “sempurna” gaakan bisa membuat seseorang kembali lagi.

Malam tadi membuka mata saya jika bukan saya yang dia mau untuk dijadikan seorang istri.

Saya punya mimpi, mimpi yang saya punya jauh sebelum bertemu dia. Jadi se-sayangnya saya sama dia, saya akan tetep memperjuangkan mimpi2 saya.

Semoga kelak saya akan bertemu dengan dia - yg lain - yang akan mendukung semua mimpi-mimpi saya. Kalaupun engga, then okay. I’m on my own.

Harus lebih sayang sama diri sendiri ya Dit.

#you’re on your own, kid.

[dithakur]

Yang memeluk raga kecilku

Yang menyayangi kecilku

Yang memeluk jiwa kecilku

Dan semua-semua aku

[dithakur]

I gave all the right part of me to the wrong one.

and now i have nothing to left.

[dithakur]

Email i can’t send

“No matter how many years has been passed, i will always love you”

[dithakur]

Hit straight to the heart.

[dithakur]

You can try to unearth this soul I swear you’ll hate what you find.

- Anaheim

[dithakur]

There were two reasons i was scared to let people in; the damage they could do, and the damage they could find.

- Chris Mc Geown

[dithakur]

A Copy of My Mind

Another film yg wajib lo tonton sekali seumur hidup - versi gue. Cuma mau bilang kalo Sari - Alek remind me of someone’s current failed relationship. Durasi dua jam berasa sebentar banget. Gue ga terlalu attach sama inti dari filmnya, gue malah sangat menikmati adegan2 kehidupan sehari2 mereka berdua karena apa adanya banget dan disitu letak indahnya.

[dithakur]

Hurt people hurt people.

[dithakur]

My soul is from elsewhere. I am sure of that. And I intend to end up there.

- Rumi

[dithakur]

When you die, you do not lose what you love - you become a part of it.

[dithakur]

The First Shot

“She’s tired of giving the wrong people the right pieces of herself. She looks at the one she loves and silently screams within her own mind. She feels stupid at times, but in all honesty, the only one stupid within this situation is the one too stupid to comprehend her love. Some men are not really men or, simply, they’re not man enough to treat a woman the way she deserves. It’s not your fault that you fell for someone who could say the right things yet fail to act on what they’ve expressed. You’re not weak. Why? Well because you’re strong enough to love even when that love isn’t returned. Your love is unconditional and beautiful. Your love maintains its beauty even when you’re stuck in an ugly, unhealthy relationship, and you still maintain your value even with someone who fails to value you.”

[dithakur]

stardust

i spend my nights tracing constellations on your skin, my finger finds the north star but you don't say my name the same way anymore; the syllables seem to fumble around on your tongue. i know people leave; that is what they are supposed to do after all, and nobody knows the reason why we like to promise light years when we only plan to stay seconds, you promised me a century, i made you my sun to try and convince you to give me a little more time, but stars burn out and i think you don't kiss me the same anymore, your lips feel all wrong, tight on my skin and cold. but maybe i'm wrong, maybe i overthink but my finger finds the north star on your shoulder blade and i can't stop losing sleep over the thought that even the sun will die, i stare at constellations made of stars that are dead just like you and-- (i know why.) (because i am.)

- the boys i've loved & the end of the world

[dithakur]

Selamat pagi, malam

Filmnya rilis di 2014 tapi baru beberapa hari kemarin nonton. Pernah gak si ngerasain kayak “wah parah nih film, kayak nyeritain hidup gue”. Ditambah latar belakangnya yg di Jakarta (apalagi di sekitaran bundaran HI) dimana gue punya pengalaman personal sama seseorang didaerah itu juga. Sebagai jantungnya kota jkt, gue cuma berharap setiap kali dia ngeliat Bundaran HI selalu inget gue hahaha. Filmnya bagus bgt bgt bgt, personal touchingnya dapet bgt. Campur aduk nonton filmnya.

Filmnya ceritain tentang 3 wanita yang berbeda, dimana masing2 punya kisahnya sendiri. Ada yang mencari cinta, jawaban sampai closure. Semuanya menyatu disitu. Cerita singkat, cuma ceritain satu malam aja di jkt tapi dapet bangetttt aaaaaah bikin gue mewek apalagi pas adegan Sofia nyanyi di endingnya. Ini adalah film yang wajib lo tonton sekali seumur hidup - versi gue.

[dithakur]

Jika pada akhirnya kita akan pulang kerumah masing2, lantas harus kemana saya pulang?

[dithakur]

Do you think I can have one more kiss? I'll find closure on your lips, and then I'll go. Maybe also one more breakfast, one more lunch, and one more dinner. I'll be full and happy and we can part. But in between meals, maybe we can lie in bed one more time. One more prolonged moment where time suspends indefinitely as I rest my head on your chest. My hope is if we add up the "one mores" they will equal a lifetime and I'll never have to get to the part where I let you go. But that's not real is it. There are no more one mores. I met you when everything was new and exciting, and the possibilities of the world seem endless. And they still are... for you, for me, but not for us. Somewhere between then and now, here and there, I guess we didn't just grow apart, we grew up. When something breaks, if the pieces are large enough, you can fix it. Unfortunately sometimes things don't break, they shatter. But when you let the light in, shattered glass will glitter. And in those moments when the pieces of what we were catch the sun, I'll remember just how beautiful it was. Just how beautiful it'll always be. Because it was US. And we were magic. Forever.

i will always remember you on Mid November