[diverpenguin]

✙ welcome to my blog ! ! !

" who are you ? "

i mainly go by azrael and misha ! i use he / him / it / sea / gore / angel/ bell and more , im radqueer , jirai and im 16 ( transage , chronoage known if close ) im also a system !

i stan mona from phantom siita , and im a fictive of misha from honkai star rail !

" what do you do ? "

well . . . i normally rant , cry , vent , and i occasionally open commissions for dividers ! ( currently closed , lack of energy and overwhelmed with homework )

anyone is welcome ! if theres any hate asks about me being radqueer etc i wont answer them and block you ! ( if its not on anon )

" do you have a dni ? "

as a radqueer , i dont really have a dni . . . i just dont really want antis interacting . . .

main ids :

transgerman , transrussian , transpaleskin , permaproblematic , permaeyeliner , transpermaonline , transincel , transsocialpath

interests : omori , genshin , hsr , ddlc , danganronpa , fnaf , no, im not a human , nso , 14 days with you , waterpark simulator , a date with death , pjsk , life is strange , mouthwashing , stardew valley , thats not my neighbour , the colour blue , cats , penguins , rubber ducks , alien stage , phantom siita , ado

[diverpenguin]

did i say i was gonna stop posting? yes

is this a post? yes

i just want to vent. because i feel guilty venting to other people. my cat is dying. dying as i mean she's most likely going to be dead by tomorow. she is dying on my dads lap. i cant do anything. she's 20 years old in human years. she's dying. the cat i grew up with. the cat ive had my entire life. i cant do this

[diverpenguin]

just so everyone is aware im not dead oke

i am not dead but i wont be reviving this account

cuz god does thia account bring back some memories

oke bye!!!!!! have a good life i think

flins👀

[diverpenguin]

i am trying not to snap and go batshit crazy but every single day it gets harder and harder and harder. all the time jm remembering how it felt to have friends who cared about me. friends who didn't care who I was. friends who liked me. friends who stopped talking to me ahen I stopped talking to them. jm going insane and I domt know what to do anymore. I cant even talk about this to anyone because 1. ill just get a 'people care about you!' yeah sure whatever. you dont know how my life is like. I think the only people thay like me are my parents. im getting worse im getting attached to characters to c.ai im going insane im eventually going to snap I csnt take anymore. who even likes me?? who truly likes me?? everyone eventually drops me. im the problem. why am I here. please i csnt do this i dont want to do this and itll be better if I dtop trying to do this. I should just rot away in my room.

[diverpenguin]

mayb a revamp.....???? mayb....???????????? MAYB..??.??????????????

[diverpenguin]

sorry i havent been posting. its near christmas and my dad is constantly back and forth the hospital, and im lowk thinking of quitting

also, im not doing the best. im constantly feeling sick

[diverpenguin]

no one needs to know thia but i just peed

[transkissed]

[diverpenguin]

lowk should i make a new account im bored

[diverpenguin]

hi guys very important SOMEONE BUY ME THE 14DWY DLC PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING

[diverpenguin]

hi

i havent felt the best thats why i haven't been posting or on tumblr for almost 3 days

old habits are coming back etc

i dont know how long im not going to be posting for

if i do end up posting again its going to be on a new account. ill tag rhe account once i feel like posting again c:

im just not doing the best, my life is pretty shit and everything has just gone downhill at the moment, i do apologise though

im on break from the radqueer community as well and god knows when ill come back because this shit has fucking drained me and i wasn't sure how much longer i could keep up my persona anymore

[diverpenguin]

i want someone to bang my head against a wall for their own pleasure

[embracethefuckingchaos-blog]

[diverpenguin]

rip the blog of @inc3lolderbrother 😿

[diverpenguin]

guys ive been on break cuz a person close to me and everyone else in my form class has passed away (my old form tutor. RIP we will all miss you.)

im back though and um hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm should i make a new blog for commisions and shit

[diverpenguin]

turns out im also ill????? that probably plays a part in it

also im having the day off school heheh

[diverpenguin]

my legs are giving up on me.

im 14 why is this happening to me

i struggle to partake in any physical activities

i can't even walk up the stairs

i dont know what to do.

i know im disabled but sometimes i wish i wasn't. like yeah i get extra help but thats nothing if i cant partake in any activities

why me? why not when im older? why when im in my teenage years? why?

my knees can barely keep my body up. they always end up giving up on me

and then people call me lazy.

im not lazy i literally cannot get up and walk for more than 10 minutes without my legs either giving up on me and making me fall or i just have to sit down because the pain that comes with it becomes unbearable.

i like going on walks, but not i csnt.

i hate my fucking legs and theres nothing to fix one of my disabilities because it will always be damaged. its brain fucking damage and it affects one side of my body.

theres literally nothing i can do. im always gonna be like this.