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Time to move on

Instead of reminiscing about the past

I knew it would never last

We were moving kinda fast

I knew it was too good to be true

I knew id never be good enough for you

artspud

prospects

aquaticwonder

‪A part of me wants him to chase me. But I know he never will. ‬I don't think he was ever serious or that he ever really liked me. 😕

Do you ever lay in the dark and struggle with your inner demons?

You have no one to talk to. It seems like everyone's asleep.

You want to cry but no tears come out.

You want to scream but no sound comes out.

You lie awake in the darkness waiting for sleep to subdue your thoughts.

You endlessly open, close, open, close, open, scroll through, and close your apps.

You are numb;

But you feel everything at once - a million thoughts running through your mind.

You wait for it to stop. You pray for it to end.

Maybe this time when I close my eyes, I can finally sleep.

January 27th 2018 | 12:03am

‪he was the one I wanted to do cute shit with.‬

‪he was the one I pictured having kids with. ‬

‪he was the one I "felt it in my gut" with. ‬

‪.... None of them are the same person. Clearly, I still have a lot to learn.‬

It'll probably take me a decade to get over you.

Shan,

I still think about you sometimes. I miss you. And I wonder if you're ever thinking about me too. I miss us. You were my best friend. I was completely myself around you, and I miss that.

A lot has changed. I'm a different person. I wish I could tell you about all those things. I wish I could hear about your day... your life. But I don't know if it's for the best. What if it still hurts? I think I've moved on. But there are days/nights like this where I miss you like crazy and I wish we never drifted.

I hope you're doing well. I really, truly, loved you, and I hope you know that.

Best,

J.

Looking back;

The beginning of this year was terrible. I was a complete mess. I hated life, myself, everything. I was the most depressed I had ever been.

But I’m starting to feel content and happy again.

I feel like myself again.

Things have been going well. I’m excited for the rest of this year and to start 2018. This year has been about change and growth.

Stop living in the past and start planning your future.

I want someone...

That makes me smile

That makes my heart happy