a masterlist of the debauched and divine.
NOTE: a majority, if not all, of the works on my account are explicit with varying undertones of darkness. proceed with caution.
art blog(derogatory)
AnasAbdin
Peter Solarz
Cosmic Funnies
tumblr dot com
Xuebing Du
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

Love Begins

titsay

#extradirty
Game of Thrones Daily

tannertan36
Mike Driver
almost home
Claire Keane
will byers stan first human second
No title available
No title available

JBB: An Artblog!
todays bird

seen from United States
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States
seen from Iraq
seen from Iraq
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom

seen from Canada

seen from Russia

seen from United States

seen from Finland
seen from France
seen from Argentina

seen from Norway
seen from Brazil

seen from Brazil
seen from United States
seen from United States
@divinehedons
a masterlist of the debauched and divine.
NOTE: a majority, if not all, of the works on my account are explicit with varying undertones of darkness. proceed with caution.
hello, it's been a while. a little over a year, actually.
i've often pondered how to express the fact that i miss writing, because it's not like i ever stopped. i'm still writing, from errant academic essays to prose and even beyond, just not here.
apparently, the last you heard from me was at the tail-end march last year. that sounds about right. i think of april a year ago and i am haunted by the hurdles that came with it, one after the other until it's april again. actually, april's ending so soon, too.
in writing these silly little fanfictions, i told myself that i'll write something when i'm no longer burdened by a thousand difficulties. i wanted to enjoy it rather than be burdened by it. for a while, i felt undeserving of writing, and perhaps that's why i have drafts festering in the cobwebs of time.
when we are cornered by our lives, suffocated by whatever our human minds think is so vital that we let it cloud the days with doubt, i find that i've tried fighting out of it. everyone loves an underdog, even me. when the odds are stacked against me, i find myself thrashing like a violent dog to find the way out.
i'm not a violent dog. i'm tired of biting.
in the year that it's taken, i found myself growing in ways that i never thought i'd be in. i've come to love new things and let go of others.
i'm a year older today. some birthdays are more peaceful than happy. they are birthdays nonetheless.
two songs that i've been listening on repeat since february this year comes to me now. i'm not a hundred percent better, but i am getting there. i'm not fighting the harshnesses of my vicissitudes, and instead i'm letting time take its course and gravitate to things i've left hanging because i thought i was undeserving of it.
only time will sort it out.
다 괜찮아질 거야.
i won't guarantee a new writing, but i will guarantee that i'll try.
i love you. i'm glad i exist. maybe that's enough for now.
love always,
circe :)
your favorite full-time absentee / part-time writer is here for a quick little rec list in my absence. asterisks indicate media that currently fuel a few wips hidden in my drafts:
heaven by mieko kawakami* (oh to be seen in the violent doggone days of middle school)
isle of dogs dir. by wes anderson
princess mononoke dir. by hayao miyazaki* (the imagery of femininity that spits out blood and bone >>)
lolita by vladimir nabokov (for who am i if not fucked in the head?)
as always, be kind to yourself. and consume the world until you are so full of it. may you never tire of beauty.
love always, circe <3
Mary Oliver, from “Hum Hum”, A Thousand Mornings
Andrea Gibson, Birthday
PEDRO EXCUSE ME
THE LOOK
stop it sfghkjf
this look was so pirate!joel coded that i literally lay on my kitchen floor out of shock 🫣🫠
tenderness is in the hands ― Carolyn Forché, L’Avventura (1960), Ocean Vuong, The White Ribbon (2009), Hart Crane, Gelatin Silver, Love (2009), Ingeborg Bachmann, Les amants du Pont-Neuf (1991), Sylvia Plath, Psycho (1960), Rod McKuen (stills by @forhandsthatsuffer)
i won't hurt you.
navigation: masterlist
word count: ~1.9k words
summary: you meet joel in the aftermath of a terrible accident. reeling from the aftermath of the event, there is a looming shadow that complicates your relationship with the southern man you just somehow happened to meet
warnings: explicit (but not graphic) content–MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! relatively dark(?)-ish joel miller, allusions to smut (not heavily detailed), graphic depictions of injury, some scenes include hospitalization (not in graphic detail), dubious consent, joel miller radiates mansplain / manipulate / malewife energy, men are trash in general wbk
note: oh. my. god. it has been far too long and i’m so so very sorry for just now coming back! i’ve hit a terrible writer’s block alongside very bad mental health and i’m just now recovering :’D thank you so so so much for 800 followers, it’s going to take a while for me to respond to everyone but i’ll be going through them! i love you very very dearly, mwah!
note 2.0: pls pls lower your expectations, 🫣 i am trying to get back into the groove of things!
Le Mépris (1963)
reblog if you want anonymous opinions of you
pls pls
i won't hurt you.
navigation: masterlist
word count: ~1.9k words
summary: you meet joel in the aftermath of a terrible accident. reeling from the aftermath of the event, there is a looming shadow that complicates your relationship with the southern man you just somehow happened to meet
warnings: explicit (but not graphic) content–MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! relatively dark(?)-ish joel miller, allusions to smut (not heavily detailed), graphic depictions of injury, some scenes include hospitalization (not in graphic detail), dubious consent, joel miller radiates mansplain / manipulate / malewife energy, men are trash in general wbk
note: oh. my. god. it has been far too long and i’m so so very sorry for just now coming back! i’ve hit a terrible writer’s block alongside very bad mental health and i’m just now recovering :’D thank you so so so much for 800 followers, it’s going to take a while for me to respond to everyone but i’ll be going through them! i love you very very dearly, mwah!
note 2.0: pls pls lower your expectations, 🫣 i am trying to get back into the groove of things!
thank you so much for all the love! ♡
i won't hurt you.
navigation: masterlist
word count: ~1.9k words
summary: you meet joel in the aftermath of a terrible accident. reeling from the aftermath of the event, there is a looming shadow that complicates your relationship with the southern man you just somehow happened to meet
warnings: explicit (but not graphic) content–MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! relatively dark(?)-ish joel miller, allusions to smut (not heavily detailed), graphic depictions of injury, some scenes include hospitalization (not in graphic detail), dubious consent, joel miller radiates mansplain / manipulate / malewife energy, men are trash in general wbk
note: oh. my. god. it has been far too long and i’m so so very sorry for just now coming back! i’ve hit a terrible writer’s block alongside very bad mental health and i’m just now recovering :’D thank you so so so much for 800 followers, it’s going to take a while for me to respond to everyone but i’ll be going through them! i love you very very dearly, mwah!
note 2.0: pls pls lower your expectations, 🫣 i am trying to get back into the groove of things!
joel you absolute fucking idiot
this was my experience of reading your reblog:
and i absolutely died laughing :') thank you so much for reading, honey!
i won't hurt you.
navigation: masterlist
word count: ~1.9k words
summary: you meet joel in the aftermath of a terrible accident. reeling from the aftermath of the event, there is a looming shadow that complicates your relationship with the southern man you just somehow happened to meet
warnings: explicit (but not graphic) content–MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! relatively dark(?)-ish joel miller, allusions to smut (not heavily detailed), graphic depictions of injury, some scenes include hospitalization (not in graphic detail), dubious consent, joel miller radiates mansplain / manipulate / malewife energy, men are trash in general wbk
note: oh. my. god. it has been far too long and i’m so so very sorry for just now coming back! i’ve hit a terrible writer’s block alongside very bad mental health and i’m just now recovering :’D thank you so so so much for 800 followers, it’s going to take a while for me to respond to everyone but i’ll be going through them! i love you very very dearly, mwah!
note 2.0: pls pls lower your expectations, 🫣 i am trying to get back into the groove of things!
WELCOME BACK!!! You nailed it!
It's amazing!
thank you so much for reading, angel! glad to be back ♡
i won't hurt you.
navigation: masterlist
word count: ~1.9k words
summary: you meet joel in the aftermath of a terrible accident. reeling from the aftermath of the event, there is a looming shadow that complicates your relationship with the southern man you just somehow happened to meet
warnings: explicit (but not graphic) content–MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! relatively dark(?)-ish joel miller, allusions to smut (not heavily detailed), graphic depictions of injury, some scenes include hospitalization (not in graphic detail), dubious consent, joel miller radiates mansplain / manipulate / malewife energy, men are trash in general wbk
note: oh. my. god. it has been far too long and i’m so so very sorry for just now coming back! i’ve hit a terrible writer’s block alongside very bad mental health and i’m just now recovering :’D thank you so so so much for 800 followers, it’s going to take a while for me to respond to everyone but i’ll be going through them! i love you very very dearly, mwah!
note 2.0: pls pls lower your expectations, 🫣 i am trying to get back into the groove of things!
*clears throat* *taps mic* hi, hi, hello! :'D it's been quite a long time and i'm so sorry for just now coming back here. i have something under way, and i just wanted to check in before i published it, because it didn't feel reasonable for me to just post a fic without a word of warning.
i hope time has been kind to each and everyone of you who have eyes on this little corner of the internet. i love you, and i hope you have warm blankets and hugs whenever it is wherever you are.
much love, circe <3
I just realised something from the TLOU gameplay that made me so depressed that I needed to share with you all.
Rewind back to the prologue where Sarah is dying, and we see Joel look away from her a total of two times before she dies: the first time is at the same moment the camera pans to solely Tommy, of whom Joel is looking at (first image). Before he is out of shot, Joel can just be seen looking to Sarah again, until the camera turns back to him where he looks away a second time towards Tommy again (second image).
Now, if you go and listen to the audio of the actual scene itself, you'll notice that the second time he looks away is when Sarah draws her last breath and passes away. She's already dead now.
And Joel missed it by looking away for only a second.
The second time he looks away and then looks back at Sarah, she is already gone. He couldn't do anything. He couldn't look into her eyes, still filled with life (albeit hanging on a thread) anymore before becoming absolutely soulless because he missed it. He didn't see the light leave her, he didn’t see her succumb to the bullet wound where she would move on to no longer feel anymore pain in death. He missed it almost instantly. His last good look of her is after the second time he looked away, when she's already passed on.
But then we fast-forward to the very near end of the game where Joel is trying to perform CPR on Ellie after she almost drowned. He's becoming mentally and emotionally frantic because he cannot lose another one and projects this by trying to resuscitate her. He is back to where he was twenty years prior trying to save Sarah. And then the Fireflies appear.
Joel looks away from Ellie one time. He probably doesn’t even realise that these are Fireflies (they could have been Hunters or even FEDRA for all he cared). The look on his face in the second image is heart-breaking, but it only lasts for a second before he immediately looks down to Ellie.
He only looks up at them once. He doesn’t look up a second time.
Again, if you watch the original scene with audio enabled, you can hear the shakiness in Joel's voice, almost tearfully and very much coming from a place of fear. He's literally pleading for Ellie to wake up, all the while keeping his eyes on her - not looking up again - not even with one of the Firefly soldiers approaching him with an armed weapon.
He can't look away a second time because the last time he did, he lost Sarah immediately. He fears that will happen again, but he cannot let that occur. He won't. Not with Ellie: his second chance, his new reason to live, his new love. Joel refuses to tear his eyes away from her, even for another second, if it risks her life suddenly slipping away before he could even realise it.
He cannot afford to have another daughter lay lifeless in his arms and have her drift off to a place where he cannot follow and protect her anymore, even if it means placing his own life on the line.
Hi dear!
I was reading your Joel X siren!reader fic for the thousandth time... Would you ever write a second part?
Love you xoxo
hello darling, thank you so much for this ask! and in response, i always say nothing is impossible! i feel like i ended the fic with the possibility of continuing. i'm just waiting for the right moment to let the fates decide :>
hi! i'm alive and working on something! it's been a crazy few months and i missed you 🥹