Beans Beans They're Good For Your Heart!

Hello! My name is Beans, and I am an angry, Borinquen/Irish laaaady from the boogie down of NYC who's so fluent is smartass people can't tell when I'm joking or not! :D I draw sometimes.

[wembleyfragglesarchive]

i’m losing my mind

[wembleyfragglesarchive]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

[avatardoggo]

oh

GROOVE WITH ME BABY

[lizluvscupcakes]

Ya gotta have

✨⭐️ SOUL ⭐️✨

[voidgremlinguege]

DONT STOP ME NOW!

[fedorathexplorer]

I really can’t believe I’ve been on this hell site for 8 years

[chrownox]

Impart me in your wisdom of ancient times

[fedorathexplorer]

one time there was a tumblr user with the url “pizza” and she would just comment on any text post about pizza saying “omg that’s me” and then we found out she had an entire tag dedicated to saying the n word

[thetyrannosaur]

One time somebody paid $750 for the url ‘hi’ and got deleted in less than a year for promoting weight loss scams

[bathykolpian]

There’s always been something deeply wrong with this place.

[superwholock]

too much to document, but god damn we can try

[whereserpentswalk]

Seeing that this was from 2019 is like how ancient Egypt had people who studied even more ancient versions of Egypt.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more

[youhaveaguineapigwhere]

No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges

[niftyanswersorryiasked]

do you think that when the big arm on the trash truck aggressively grabs the trash can on the curb and dumps it into the truck that it's like a little sexual for the trash can

[niftyanswersorryiasked]

brother why would i want twice as many people to see this

[portraitoftheoddity]

choke me harder, daddy.

[mikkeneko]

[appri-dot]

Shapeshifter who gets horribly grotesque and mutilated when flustered

[appri-dot]

Its actually so important to me

[tumblebagel]

Yeah okay this is going on main

[dragon-in-a-fez]

the other day a friend of a friend referred to "busting out of your abdomen like the alien from the Predator films" and I was completely caught off guard. like I guess that's - that's not wrong. the alien was. okay she was in the Predator films. well some of them. but like. she had her own. she's the alien from the Alien films. like. they have her name on them. he's not "King Kong from the Godzilla films"

[dragon-in-a-fez]

there's also a reason it's not called an "abdomenburster" but one issue at a time

[dragon-in-a-fez]

it's like when headlines refer to a famous woman via her husband. that's not "Predator's wife" she's got her own franchise!!

[dragon-in-a-fez]

tags from the crew of the Nostromo

[phlebasthebroenician]

Yahoooooooooo!!!!

[teaboot]

"Oh yeah, we have an outdoor Corgi, he just gets so bored cooped up inside all day. He knows to stay off the road. Don't worry, he's way too smart for coyotes and the neighbor's know to look out when they drive past."

"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."

"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."

Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars

A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we

It's 2026, "keep your damn pet in a house or in your view" should not be controversial

[angel-stars]

I had to go on a hunt for this but it was worth it. 100% agree

[theweirdwideweb]

[freebroccoli]

REGRET TO INFORM YOU YOUR SON HAS DIED FROM TRENCH FOOT LOL HE SERVED WITH COURAGE AND HONOR LOL PLEASE ACCEPT OUR DEEPEST CONDOLENCES LOL

[cupcraft]

You never know what color pallette someone's Tumblr is till ppl are screenshotting posts and tags

[aropride]

do u like mine

[cupcraft]

Oh wow.

[cupcraft]

Some people on tumblr are reading ancient scrolls and you'd never know

[enki2]

[enba-and-luka]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[drakensberg-blog]

The reading comprehension and overall common sense on this website is piss poor.

[poupon]

how dare you say we piss on the poor

[moniquill]

[i-like-reblog-maps]

[moniquill]

I'm so proud of you, chicken

[oswednesday]

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me