[ @camaradcrie , continuing from ☆ ]
At some point as Basil admonished what the painting had become, Dorian slid down the wall and came to curl up on the ground. The wood floor was covered in dust, neglected for eighteen years since Dorian stopped allowing his staff inside to clean it. He didn’t realize how much it would hurt to show that painting to Basil, to hear Basil’s horror and disgust over the state of his soul. It was Basil’s fault, Dorian told himself. He painted it, he seduced him with flattery and convinced him that all he had to offer was his youth and beauty.
It was an old deflection, eighteen years his crutch but it grew weak now that the portrait was no longer a secret. His eyes were red, cheeks wet as he wept into his knees. It was no different a cry than the sort he would give over menial things, always swift with dramatics. Only his posture gave away the sincerity of it, how he curled over himself and turned away; his vanity crumbled under the weight of that hideous painting. He couldn’t bring himself to look at it, to view himself through Basil’s eyes.
My God! Don’t you see that accursed thing leering at us? Dorian was pulled from his thoughts, a rush of anger flooding his chest. His head snapped up, anger and hopelessness in his eyes, lips drawn back from his teeth as if in a snarl. “The accursed thing was made by your hand!” He snapped, his voice broken and loud, almost a growl. “You did this to me, Basil. You put all of these silly ideas of beauty and youth into my head, I was nearly a boy!”
An accusation better saved for Henry but from Dorian’s perspective; Henry was the only one that understood. Where Basil would paint the evil portrait and then turn up his nose at his deeds, Henry encouraged him, he saw the genius and originality in his life. Henry never so much as touched the portrait.
“You’re disgusted by what you yourself have made me, Basil. I won’t continue to be insulted by you.” He stood, remembering his pride in an instant, though still sniffling. His portrait hung behind Basil and a knife on the table beside it. Dorian was vaguely aware of both but he focused on Basil, shaking with a rage thus far unknown to him.
The quick snap of a reply prompted Basil to turn. To tear his eyes from the horrid image which loomed before him, one which burned him to look at yet he had been unable to look away from. It was a curse to behold … he couldn’t bring himself to imagine what all his creation had caused.
His creation ? Was it his fault ? Basil weakly shook his head.
Dorian, don’t you see what you have let yourself become ?
Basil’s heart wrenched at the sight, at the sound of Dorian’s betrayed sobs aimed at him. Aimed at defaming Basil’s work, at blaming him for all which had come to pass. For what happened to Dorian. Basil choked, a tightness in his throat which he struggled to fight past in order to merely speak.
“ Dorian . . . ” He wanted to apologize. It was the instinctive phrase which wanted to work its way out — but what was he apologizing for ? Something not of his doing ? Basil bit the inside of his lip, unsure of what to say.
“ It was not an insult. It was a plea. ”
The way in which his voice broke as he spoke was not something which he wished to be so painfully aware of. Every word uttered by Dorian, every phrase which crossed his own mind, however, yet managed to cut into his very being
That which he had thrown his heart into had turned to break it.