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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@diyakini
not to sound like i hate love. but I'm so glad I'm aromantic because it sounds like torture to not be able to have your own space, sharing a bed, a bathroom, fridge, friends, free time? There ain't no way a diamond ring and kissing is worth giving that up.
people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.
Me taking a shower: Wow. Self care hottie, we did it. We put in effort and got something good out of it!
Me graduating with my bachelor's: Eh. I've barely accomplished anything.
Honestly so happy(?) Having found out about alterous attraction.
Have been feeling feelings which I felt weren't just platonic. But at the same time they aren't just romantic.
Wanting them so badly. Getting emotionally distressed because of them. Too much for it to be strictly platonic, not enough for it to be strictly romantic.
I feel like I'd know of my feelings were romantic. I assume so, as I wouldn't be able to tell I were aro if I didn't have a picture of what romantic feelings would feel like.
Alas, it feels different from the usual feelings I feel towards my friends. As if I feel something more. I want more. I need more.
Nonetheless, i can grasp that it isnt the pictured romantic emotions.. its something else.
Being aroace is kinda confusing sometimes cuz idk if my perception of something actually meets the criteria of a set attraction. Perhaps I have felt romantic love before, just that it was so unknown to me so I wasnt able to recognize it?
Idk im blabbing sorry
Honestly so happy(?) Having found out about alterous attraction.
Have been feeling feelings which I felt weren't just platonic. But at the same time they aren't just romantic.
Wanting them so badly. Getting emotionally distressed because of them. Too much for it to be strictly platonic, not enough for it to be strictly romantic.
I feel like I'd know of my feelings were romantic. I assume so, as I wouldn't be able to tell I were aro if I didn't have a picture of what romantic feelings would feel like.
Alas, it feels different from the usual feelings I feel towards my friends. As if I feel something more. I want more. I need more.
Nonetheless, i can grasp that it isnt the pictured romantic emotions.. its something else.
Honestly so happy(?) Having found out about alterous attraction.
Have been feeling feelings which I felt weren't just platonic. But at the same time they aren't just romantic.
Wanting them so badly. Getting emotionally distressed because of them. Too much for it to be strictly platonic, not enough for it to be strictly romantic.
Fun game: “is this an aroace thing or is this a neurodivergent thing”
I want to be someone's special person. Like. I wanna be the one you tell everything to. The one you think off when you see stupid cute videos. The one you talk about when people ask you about your partner.
I want an emotional connexion. Not someone to be in love with. Someone that don't drain me. Someone that put me first the way i put them first. I don't care if it's a qpr (queer platonic relationship) , a relationship or a friendship.
I don't want to be scared that you'll leave for someone you're in love with.
Queerplatonic attraction is so bizarre like wdym I want to fall asleep on your shoulder and I smile every time I think of you and I want to embrace you and kiss you on the cheek and I genuinely love you so much and labeling it as romantic doesn’t seem right, yet labeling it as regular platonic attraction doesn’t seem like enough
What to do
I love too much in all the wrong ways and I think it’s literally making me sick.
I love you but not romantically or platonically