dave striders topical and relevant galavantings

yo its the one and only im only gonna be posting real ass content and topics that makes your grandma slip on her piss stained diaper and fall down a set of stairs cus she just got so heated at my totally lewdicrous takes if you get pissed at my hot ass takes and or obsessed with my hot ass bod dont @ me im only here for the real ball busting ass clenching fuckin gansta ass news that only real fuckin big ass dogs with like godamn sharp ass canine teeth and huge bulging muscles care about also sbahj updates here

[djdstri]

did you guys see that will smith just slapped chris rock

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im yankin it like its a push door

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yall lowkey sleepin on beds

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babies will look you square in the eyes and deadass say "goo goo gaa gaa." you know how it is with babies yo

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dude living in texas is so fucked up i just saw a real ass tumbleweed saunter across the street you have to be joking

[djdstri]

don't think that just because i fuck with the color red it means i fuck with apples, and don't think that just because i don't fuck with apples it means i don't fuck with apple juice. that's a whole different thing. see the juicing process is not only a grotesque and rancid name for taking steroids, its also a way of turning something kinda meh into something kinda holy shit. there is a stark difference between forcing yourself to take a bite of a fruit that is most commonly associated with teachers worms and horses, and getting a taste of an ice cold glass of aj that seems to not only quench your thirst for delicious fluids, but also quenches your souls thirst for a warm hug and a quick handjob.

i think the whole point of apples is that they're like the level one grunt of fruit. apples are a weak, common enemy you'd find in the first dungeon of an rpg and they'd drop like 3 gold a pop. that is to say if you play rpgs you're probably the target demographic for apples. a fruit noob. you wont be able to handle something as complex and difficult to understand and overcome as a dragon fruit, and that's not even a reference to how dragons are usually like these big end game bosses in fantasy rpgs, encountering a dragon fruit is just really that intricate. but even apples still have a shiny red leg over the real bottom of the fruit barrel cuck pears.

pears are like if two daddy apples had an anal baby and the mommy daddy apple drank, smoked, and did kickboxing. then when the dented and mushy apple baby was born he was tossed around like a fuckin apple salad. then you take into account the fact that that apple baby would have been ostracized from the rest off apple society and raised solely by his little apple ipad he would grow up to be a pear. pears are what they do with the apples they get done juicing. some factory worker was probably getting paid in apple seeds when he started eating the left over freshly drained apples and went "woah this tastes like ass maybe if i call it something new i can sell it to little children and make profit off their disdain for this rancid byproduct of the holy elixir called apple juice." then he probably downed a bottle cause just thinking of an idea so awful makes a man sweat like a pregnant apple father during a title kickboxing match. hell he probably drank two. then he looked down at the bottles and went "damn i had to drink a pear of apple juices just to wash away that shitty idea." and the rest is history disgusting, off green, dry, chalky history.

pears can suck my dick. and apples can suck the pears dicks while i suck on an ice cold bottle of aj while making sure it looks nothing like im sucking a dick.