D&Destroyed

A place for all my campaign's funny moments

[dndestroyed]

Can't sleep? Take a punch to the face

So Sal (my elf ranger) is panicking because someone she cares about might be really hurt and Ab our rogue and our cleric Uso is trying to get her to sleep. Uso rolled 3 times to punch my characters getting low rolls then Ab came in.

Ab: "I roll to punch her" gets an 14, I roll and get a 13

Dm: "So the punch connects and Sal just gets knocked out and is out cold."

Everyone is laughing till I bring out my rangers animal companion.

Me: "Wolfdog is growling at Ab looking ready to attack him."

Everyone gets quite and wolfdog pounces on Ab pinning him to the floor growling inches from his face

Ab: "Please wolfdog she's fine she just needed to sleep."

Me: "Wolfdog slowly stops growling and then sneezes on you and climbs up onto the bed protecting Sal."

[dndestroyed]

When you forget a beret is a hat

Right before we went into a new town we came across a box in the middle of the road with Sal (My Elf ranger) on it. So we open it it has a bloddy beret in it with a dagger in it also. This is what happened when we meet the person behind it.

Dm playing the evil lady: "So it seems you got my package."

Me in character: "We did, what did you do to her?"

Dm: "Did you check inside the hat?"

Me ooc: "The what?"

Everyone in my party started laughing and telling me a beret is a hat. The whole party just lost it.

[dndestroyed]

Copyrighted

On our first day of the campaign, S, Aillian and Absinthe where walking through a forest. When Aillians player started to sing "Country roads" and the rest fell in line singing along.

DM "Well you wrote and sang country roads and its now copyrighted to you guys so whenever someone else sings it you get money."

So this is how we copyrighted "Country roads" and get royalties from it

[dndestroyed]

My group consists of

Braeden our half elf warlock farmer

Uso our Artic Fox shifter from Winterhelm, Cleric of Leira the Goddess of Mist and Mischief they/them

Absinthe our vampire rogue who really likes to steal they/them, he/him

Aillian our teifling fighter who seduced an evil npc

S/Syllin/Sal our moon elf ranger(me) and her wolfdog named wolfdog