DOCHERI

Victoria, 26 IG / Fashion

[kaipanzero]

Sister Death

Hermana muerte (2023)

[axur]

Christopher McKenney

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Karl Friedrich Lessing Monastery courtyard in the snow, 1828-1829

[grimae]

A page from the Book of the Sun - VI

[silkycherub]

Tati Gabrielle at NYFW makeup by Laurel Charleston

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[docheri]

Logging back on with some updates!

First off, I’m surprised and really happy to see my posts on this blog (and my fashion blog) continue getting likes and reblogs. I miss Tumblr sometimes—it was my haven for inspiration, but the platform and new post editor has changed so much and honestly dissuaded me from creating content here. Regardless, I am grateful for the community here and I’m happy to see so many blogs still active after so many years.

In my last personal post, I wrote about a boy I was dating. I’m happy to say we’ve been in a committed relationship for a little over a year now. I’m happy I trusted my gut and pursued him despite some relatives’ objections. He has shown me what unconditional and unwavering love truly looks like.

I am still actively working on photography projects and submitting my work to festivals. Currently I am working on a series titled Mary, which is about the complicated relationship I have with Catholicism. I started the Mary series to begin healing from the traumas of being raised in the religion and feeling betrayed by a religion that romanticizes restraint and suffering. The series captures my ongoing process of making reparations with this. Seeking new sites and revisiting old ones to photograph the portraits and objects has reconnected me with the holy figure. The goal of this project is to heal, come to terms with the past, and let go of my resentment towards Catholicism.

If you read all of this, thank you—I truly appreciate anyone who takes the time to.

[docheri]

Victoria Nguyen, Our Lady of Fatima, 2023.

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Coronation of the Image of Our Lady of Fatima by Cardinal Benedetto Aloisi Masella (detail), May 13, 1946.

[docheri]

COS Swimwear 2022

[forestlore]

[wherewolf]

i’ve been making weird pngs lately . . .

[docheri]

Writing this to remind myself not to be afraid regardless of what happens in the future. I’ve met someone. I’m infatuated with him despite the very short amount of time we’ve known each other (~3 weeks). Unless he’s lying (or I somehow misunderstood), he also admits to feeling a very deep connection with me. Talking to and spending time with him brings back the blissful feeling of having crush that I’d long forgotten. Although he may not fully understand me, I get a sense of openness and acceptance from him—both of which I did not feel from my ex. It’s so refreshing to show my true personality to someone and not be met with judgment or disinterest. This new person has also been very transparent with his feelings, ranging from shameless displays of physical affection to bluntly telling me how much he likes me. He’s very sweet and channels a boyish charm in all the things he’s done for me. And I’m falling for all of it *facepalm*

The old me would be terrified by this situation, but surprisingly I feel good about it. I’ll still tread carefully; I can’t allow myself to be reckless. Of course I would love for this to continue and blossom into a committed relationship; but in the case it doesn’t, I will still be grateful to have met him. This experience reminded me that I AM capable of falling in love and being open to relationships. It’s also a reminder that I’m not a freak—there are people who will accept me for who I am and be genuinely interested in my personality/values.

[docheri]

Birds of a Feather ANNOTHER [ARCHIVE] F/W 2021

[docheri]

I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, and though I’m still in the midst of processing this loss, I can’t help but feel as if I didn’t really lose anything. I’ve noticed a change in my demeanor and speech: I do and say everything more confidently than before. And I don’t feel so stifled anymore. I can take on professional opportunities and pursue ideas for projects, no matter how scandalous or provocative they are, without having to worry about facing judgment from my partner and his family. I can also openly express my thoughts on mental health and LGBTQ+ issues without being dismissed as being “too liberal” and “edgy.” Idk, I think I am realizing how repressed I felt in the relationship. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t hate my ex by any means, but I can’t deny he was not a good partner for me (and neither was I for him!).

My only fear is that he is not being genuine with me since we broke up. He has been acting way kinder, and uncharacteristically mature, through texts. I’m very skeptical of this sudden change in behavior because he was pretty cold and said some cruelly callous things during the course of the relationship. Also, it has only been a little over a week since the breakup, and I don’t think anyone is capable of changing their personality so quickly. He even said “although we are not dating at the moment, you are still very special to me.” Perhaps I’m overthinking his choice of words, but he made it seem like there is a possibility of us getting back together. And quite frankly, I don’t want that. His “good” behavior seems so performative given the timing and his history of being quite mean to me. Most people don’t know that side to him bc he is very sociable and outgoing. The longer I stayed with him, the more cold he became with me. Honestly I don’t know if it’s just bc I bring out the worst in him—and I don’t mean this in a self-deprecating way. I’m very aware of how different our personalities and philosophies are, so it would make sense for the claws to come out with me.

I guess my point of writing this out is to process my thoughts and feelings. I believe I’ve dealt with the grieving part of the loss already; I am hopeful and excited for the future. I just worry he is putting on an act with me and ultimately hasn’t learned the lessons I wanted him to learn in the relationship…

[beanshie]

[itsatru]

I love being bi there are no limits to the lust my brain can accumulate

[docheri]

Haunting Fashion in the Scottish Highlands. Morgan Fernandez and Hannah Motler on the set of T Magazine’s fashion shoot in Inverness, Scotland, November 12, 2020.