Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
I’ve always wanted to create a space where I could voice my opinions where I would not normally feel comfortable. This would be my 2nd (or maybe 3rd?) attempt to keeping a blog. So lets see how this goes!
I started an Internal Medicine residency at a small community hospital in Brooklyn, NY in the summer of 2016. This sounds and looks great on paper, but it was a very stressful and anxiety filled time for me. I “graduated” medical school in Dec of 2015 and had my ceremony May 2016. I was so happy during my graduation but the months leading up where not so happy. Match day was in March of that year, and lets just say things did not go as planned. I didn’t match into my desired field of Obgyn and was left without a placement. No job. No future. I felt hopeless. It was like adding insult to injury. I was already a year behind my original class for academic difficulty and I felt I busted my ass in my 4th year electives, but I just was not jiving with these OB’s. I didn’t have any doubts I wouldn’t match so it was really off my radar. I didn’t have a back up plan. I was left in the dust, and I really only had myself to blame.
So what did I do? I called my school, to figure out what I should do next. I hightailed it over to my medical school and sat in the deans office with a few other unfortunate students that also didn’t match. We all went through the SOAP process that day together. And as the number of students slowly dwindled, as they received supplemental positions, I continued to wait for my time. But still nothing, no bites, no cigar.
At this time I was working at IBM (<--this was an amazing opportunity I’ll talk about in another post!!), and I had to go to work the next day. So I would continue the SOAP process at work (dumb idea, I know). That proved to be challenging as I worked with other students from my med school who had all matched and were all smiles and full of joy. I retreated to the library to work and continuing to frantically refresh the page that would determine my future. I got a couple of phone interviews that day, which initially seems promising. I was almost guaranteed a position in an internal medicine preliminary position. So it was set, I was going to get a spot. Just had to wait for the offer to come through on the SOAP website. Next day comes and goes, still no offers. But wait, the program director TOLD me I was going to get an offer. So I continued to sit tight. Meanwhile, I am scoping programs to potentially call when the SOAP is over. Thursday night, SOAP is over, still no dice. I meet with the deans again that day. They have an option for me. They had a program in mind that had several openings, do I want to take it? Internal medicine? But wait I wanted to do OB....
Well as you might have guessed, I interviewed for the position and got an offer for the position as an internal medicine PGY-1. My family and friends were happy for me. My mentors encouraged me that this could be a stepping stone and I could always switch. I held on to that... I am grateful I was able to join a residency program that made me realize the kind of doctor I want (and don’t want) to be. It also gave me a better appreciation for adult medicine and allowed me to be better equipped in taking care of my family members. It was good experience granted I was generally unhappy the entire time.
I knew that there was something missing that I don’t think I could ever part with....my love for women’s health. I don’t know if I could ever be able to practice enough women’s health as an IM doc to be able to satisfy my needs. I continued to search for other programs during my intern year. Then a stroke of incredible luck and God working His plan the way He intended it be. I had been voicing my unhappiness in my then current field to my family members for quite some time. One day, my aunt mentioned this to a family friend who happened to be a resident in a Family Medicine program that would soon be in need of a replacement resident. (!!!) <---Yes that is where I came in. --> and Yes that was GOD’s plan all along.
In medical school I never really thought about family medicine. There was no way I would have applied if I had not gone through what I did. I needed to be in that IM program to appreciated primary care. I needed to actually take care of adults to see what it would be like and know that I could do it compassionately. I needed to go through this program so that I could ultimately go where I am now into Family Medicine which is truly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I never felt so at home in a field of medicine than I have as a family medicine resident.
I say these things to say that no path is ever clear. We don’t ever know what is in store for us. But when the truth comes and you eventually start to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel, it is glorious!!!
