Love Begins
tannertan36
Not today Justin
Three Goblin Art
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
titsay
Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
we're not kids anymore.
Peter Solarz
⁂
Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane
sheepfilms
tumblr dot com
Stranger Things
macklin celebrini has autism
Show & Tell
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
occasionally subtle
trying on a metaphor
seen from Uzbekistan
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seen from Canada
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@silkktheshocka
Jordan Edwards should be alive and celebrating his 16th birthday today.
On April 29, 2017 Roy Oliver, an officer of Balch Springs police department, fatally shot Jordan in the head for no reason as Edwards and his friends were leaving a house party and getting in a vehicle.
Oliver was charged with murder and I truly hope he rots in jail for the rest of his life.
Rest in peace, Jordan. You won’t be forgotten.
#PoliceBrutality #JordanEdwards
#BlackLivesMatter
rememeber
me: i hate country music
shania twain: let’s go girls!
me:
me: i hate country music
carrie underwood: right now, he’s probably-
me:
Me: I hate country music
Beyoncé: daddy’s little girl
Me:
me: i hate country music
dolly parton: jolene jolene jolene jooooleeeeeeeeene
me:
me: i hate country music
Lady Antebellum: It’s a quarter after one!
me:
A way better fight than the Manny and Floyd fight. I still didn’t see that coming tho. She got knocked the fuck out.
Wow! I’d pay whatever to see that! I wouldn’t even care that it only last one round either.
Gaaahdamn
I'mma need for her to train me, #doe.
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmnnnnn
Solange, Kelly Rowland and Nia Andrews recording the “I Got So Much Magic” interlude for Solange’s album A Seat at the Table
Grinder looks fun
trump’s 1 year anniversary of being president is starting off with the government shutting down that’s the perfect representation of how american politics has been going for the past year
The government got shut down when Obama was president as well.
It’s not new.
Stop blowing it out of proportion.
It’s not a rare occurrence.
When the government shutdown under the Obama administration it was a divided government. Which made more sense because under a divided government it’s harder to compromise.
Here we are, 2018, and the Republicans control ALL branches of the government. They still failed to compromise and negotiate.
This is the first time the government shutdown under a one-party government. Ever.
This is most definitely a rare occurrence. Very rare.
How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
oh my god these are great
fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes
Where’s tink I miss her
Art
Or how about healthcare…
Forgot about the privacy here. I can cry in peace lol
Right
I was out with a friend tonight doing one of my fave things. Reading the backs of romance novels aloud. Found this gem.
This is honestly the most wild sounding romance novel I have ever seen and thought it might brighten someone’s day.
OK FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON’T REALIZE, SANDRA HILL IS THE WOMAN WHO WROTE “ROUGH AMD READY” ANOTHER EROTIC VIKING NOVEL. SOME OF THE MORE MEMORABLE QUOTES BEING:
“As Hilda’s buttermilk bosoms squished up against his granite abs, Torolf almost had a dick aneurysm.”
“Torolf entered her like she was a lottery. His engorged pecker pushed inside her and she felt fulfilled with sexual fulfillment.”
“Her body was like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it.”
YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE I HAVE READ THIS TO AT COLLEGE. ONE GUY COMPLETELY LOST IT FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES AFTER HEARING THE PHRASE “DICK ANEURYSM.”
I’M CHOKING I NEED THE TITLES
