How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Fist @doctorgaylove - Tumblr Blog

Dildo store man also called me a "mafia princess" when I told him my uncles are retired casino goons and then he apologized for not checking his privilege.

The most amazing part of that story is that the dude had a girlfriend.

For real.

#and i'm still single

Sometimes I am tempted to write thinkpieces kvetching about Millennials and Millennial culture.

When a stranger tried to take me to a dildo store, that was one of those times.

So a while ago I met this guy and we chatted a couple times about being fellow oldies on campus. He had a girlfriend so I figured it was OK to talk to him and he wouldn’t try to pick me up or anything.

Last night he sees me in the dining hall and asks if I want to go downtown to hang out and I say sure.

So we get there and then it turns out he wanted to go to this dildo store downtown to watch these girls enact “a scene”. So I’m like, “you mean they’re going to fuck in front of us?” And he’s all “no, it’s going to be like, ‘pick up that letter with your teeth’, ‘yes, mistress’, that kind of thing, it’ll be kinky.”

And I’m like, I’m sorry bro, I’m outie. And he didn’t get mad at me or anything but who takes a veritable stranger to a dildo store? Who just assumes that everyone in the world is going to be okay with watching master/slave kink roleplay unless explicitly told otherwise?

Why does this shit always happen to me?

PS

Santa Cruz: not big enough for a clinic open after 6 pm, let alone--God forbid--a hospital, but oh, man, you gotta have a dildo store. No town is too small for a dildo store.

Care to answer a poll?

You know how you call older people (non-relatives) “Aunt X” and “Uncle Y” when they’re too close to you/your family for honorifics?

How much older do they have to be before the honorary aunt/uncle thing kicks in?

#I hope the way this is worded makes sense

kian-sama

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Tarantella Napoletana

In case you’ve ever wondered about that Italian music food commercials play.

thinkpiecebot

Is Justin Trudeau’s Hair Why Tweens Can’t Realize Apple Jacks Don’t Taste Like Apples?

For fuck’s sake.

#I was all excited about getting a message on okc #and it turns out to be this guy #ok cupid

There’s nothing more embarrassing than when people pretend their jerkoff fantasies are more than jerkoff fantasies. Like a certain poetry collective, run by someone who quite obviously has a scat fetish, who tried to turn that into progressive politics with a “radical pooping seminar” rather than just admit that it’s a weird fetish.

Or when you see these erotic master/slave narratives that, rather than just being honest with themselves about being distasteful porn, pretend to be all romantic and uplifting and social justice-y for one bullshit reason or another and it ends up being both offensive and unintentionally hilarious.

I guess my problem with kink is that it’s never actually confined to the bedroom. People bring it up everywhere and lots of people can’t seem to tell the difference between their daydreams and reality. And then when you combine that with people who think everything they do has to be political or artistic or, god forbid, both at the same time, then the ensuing delusional sophistry is just the flag at the peak of Cringe Mountain.

#i'm not expressing this well #when I see someone's fetish show up accidentally in a story #it's kind of like they walked into the party without any pants on