I'm Maria, a 19 year old costume design student who's also working on a couple of novels.
Can't believe I'm having to add this but if you contact me about beta reading for money, editing for money, making commissioned art for money, making a book cover for money, etc it's an instant block now. There are too many of you and you irritate me.
My current WIP is titled "Livanna" (a gothic romance inspired by Carmilla) but is tagged under it's working title so if you would like to find content specifically related to that book you can find the hashtags #blood in the wine and #bitw in the search bar on my page. When I am posting characters, I might also start tagging them so #Livanna #Livanna bitw (antag/it's complicated) and #Jacqueline #Jacqueline bitw (protag).
My other WIP is "The Curse of Your Kiss" so if you are interested in a sapphic, dark reimagining of The Little Mermaid, you can find content related to that in #the curse of your kiss and #tcoyk. The main characters of this novel will be tagged as #Delta #Delta tcoyk (protag) #Nerissa #Nerissa tcoyk (antag/it's complicated) #Amara #Amara tcoyk (Li/it's complicated)
To separate out my other replies, I will also be tagging those as #tag you're it and asks as #💌
I may post polls on here related to chunks of text, cliff hangers, chapter formats, characters, the title etc to gain some crowd feedback and adapt my novel to be more appealing to other people as well as myself.
I would love some mutuals so we can review each others work and help each other out!
If you would like to send any asks about my characters, the plot, or provide any helpful resources for writing, or even just say hi feel free to send a carrier pigeon (drop a note in my ask box)
Before anyone brings it up, I am aware some of my mood boards, etc, have AI images in them. I do not use generative AI so don't see an issue given that I'm not personally contributing to the overuse of artificial intelligence. I try to limit how much I copy and paste/use them however sometimes they are the only thing available for specific aesthetics, I will not be using AI to write or to create images, I am very adamatly against it.
Additionally: I have autism, please be patient with me
Nearly all of my characters are in queer relationships.
Livanna has no cannonical label, however she has had experience with both women and men (none with any people who would fall into the "other" category, due to the time period she is living in).
Jacqueline has spent her whole life believing that she is "normal" (19th century homophobic phrasing, apologies) but she discovers herself feeling things for the woman who takes her in which lead her to question her identity.
As a lesbian, I find it really difficult to write straight relationships, unless it's for fanfiction where the dynamic is established. I tend to dabble with M/F, F/F, F/NB, F/NB/M and F/F/M relationships in my fan works because they're the most relevant to the fandom, I think M/M would be really challenging for me to write, simply because it's something I haven't experienced, but I wouldn't be averse to trying it. You may have noticed there's two slashes in some of the above relationships, that's because I'm not opposed to writing polycules, I actually find it really fun, especially when I show I like has a canon 6-way.
I am going back and forth on whether to make characters in one of my books polyamorous, because it would solve the conflict in the novel, but I'm afraid it would also completely remove the tension. For now, they're a love triangle.
Originally, my character Nerissa was going to be gender-undisclosed but femme and I was going to use "Xe/Xem" pronouns on Nerissa (mostly because these were pronouns I used at the time and wanted someone to relate to). I think neos would have been a cool addition to the story, but I also wanted to the sapphic nature of the book to be as obvious as possible, and I think making her gender less clear would have negated that a little bit. In my heart, she's still a bit androgynous.
The Curse of Your Kiss features two sapphic relationships and is a romantasy (I hate that term but ok, that's what we'll go for right now). It's based on a fairytale, which is classically straight, but has an LGBTQ+, dark twist.
I genuinely just think lesbians deserve more rep in media. Recently, I noticed an ad for romance films and series on one of the streaming services I use had M/M relationships and F/M but no F/F ones. Additionally, a show I like has every relationship dynamic under the sun (including possum-shape-shifter x man) and has been teasing a lesbian relationship but completely ran away from the plot in season 6. This happens way more often than you think.
The book Livanna is based on is subtly about a sapphic couple, but get this, it was written to discredit lesbianism and warn about the dangers of female sexuality! Before it was reclaimed, it was fully designed to scare women into entering heteronormative relationships. Wanting to change the narrative is part of the whole reason I adopted a similar plotline.
(No judgement, please. I'm doing the thing where you write and don't think about it, so I genuinely cannot remember any of the words I've put on the page XD)
Posting a reminder because people can't fucking read
If you are here to scam me, I will drag you to hell
If you are attempting to scam me, count your day
I hate scammers
In addition to scammers
If you are a "professional beta reader" fuck off
If you are an artist begging for commissions, go refresh yourself on who is meant to contact whom for commissions
If you are a professional author offering advice on narrative with 1 or 2 posts on your blog... You might as well be sellotape because I can see right through you
If you have no header, no bio, a stock image as your PFP, a job offer in your bio, "professional" in your bio, especially a combination of the above youre not getting aired. You're getting insulted
If you message me just "hey" or "hello" and you're a portfolio page, I'm gonna be blunt with you because I am TIRED of talking to scammers, spammers, bots and AI slop makers
Actually leave me alone. It's pmo so badly I'm considering stepping away from Tumblr.
I just hit 11294 words, I'm up to chapter three but am unsure on what to write for chapter three. I'm very scared it's going to be filler so I am doing my best to make the padding in between events interesting.
💕: what has your favourite scene been?
100% the dining scene. For an unedited scene, it reads quite smoothly. I was aiming to capture a similar feel to this scene from Curse of The Black Pearl:
With a little more trust. I was aiming for the fine dining, the hunger, the promise that manners aren't necessary here. I think I captured it to an extent, but again I need to polish the dialogue and differentiate the characters a bit more. I might post this scene for advice at some point but for now it's too precious to me, haha!
💗: what genre is it in?
The genre is gothic romance, however so far it's leaning more into romance. I don't want to go full horror, but the pathetic fallacy is going too hard to not carry the uneasiness into the dialogue and events of the book.
💖: are you planning on publishing it? if so, how?
Yes, with a hope and a prayer. I have a favourite cover designer I am going to reach out to in like ten years when it's hopefully nearly done (I'm a bit of a perfectionist). I'd like it to be in paperback and to have an illuminated letter at the beginning of every chapter, but we'll see. I might go the professional route, worst case scenario I'll take the hit and self-publish. Audiobooks are the bane of my life. but I would love one where the voices match up to my ideas of my characters, one that's truly immersive, yk?
The book is now titled Livanna but was previously called A Chalice of Blood, based on the turning point in the narrative, Blood and Roses, which I felt sounded a little too rock 'n' roll for the genre and Blood in The Wine, based on the song by Aurora about sexuality, identity and acceptance. Another title I considered was "Osiria". Osiria roses are white with red at the ends/undersides of the petals, a motif I absolutely love for one of my characters. I've been going back and forth between the current working title and this one, but Osiria is also the name of a Chinese Restaurant (nothing against Chinese Restaurants, just not quite the vibe I'm going for), plus Livanna has meanings rooted in the plot so... kind of tipped the scales for me.
💛: what is the title based on?
The book I am working on is based on Carmilla, where the novel is named after the "antagonist" (a perspective I don't agree with, but that's another story). Another novel referenced within mine is Frankenstein, a book where the title is also the name of the monster, however the name is often (incorrectly) assigned to the creation. Basically, I think I'm being clever with hinting at who the villain truly is and isn't, I'm referencing the use of single-word titles in the gothic genre and ones named after characters, and I thought it sounded more interesting than the booktok-feeling titles I was playing around with before. There is an additional reason, but that's a surprise for people who are good at connecting dots.
💙: how has the idea changed between starting it and where it is now?
Oh, I love the question. The book was originally a comedy-horror-drama based on What We Do in The Shadows and it was set in the 1980s-modern day. Jacqueline was a pained familiar and Livanna was a stiff-upper-lipped vampire living in a household with her masters. Silas, a side character in this book, was originally called Onyx and he was a shapeshifter who was Livanna's familiar. The book is now a gothic romance with a more serious tone, more complex imagery and is a novel rather than a TV Show, which is what the concept was originally created for. Additionally, it is set in 1860s. Livanna is now a less tight-fisted woman and has become the love interest, Jacqueline is no longer a a familiar and is in fact a woman who found herself in need of assistance and found it in the wrong place. Silas is no longer a companion to Jacqueline, or at least, he should no longer be trusted.
In terms of the plot, the changes I have made so far are taking out the death of Jacqueline's father - I don't think killing both your character's parents is always necessary and he is more useful to me to keep the plot grounded. I am also going back and forth on Livanna's fate. I have everything planned up to the turning point, then my book's whole structure fizzles out.
❣️ Which scene has really challenged you as a writer?
(I know this isn't the heart question word for word but it's the vibe, maybe I should copy-paste next time but I am a pantser)
❣️: which scene has been hardest to write so far?
I think the most difficult part for me so far has been including moments where the character's faith gets involved in the narrative. As an ex-Christian, I find it quite easy to write in terms of finding the emotion, but there's a bit of guilt attached to it. For example, the line (sorry it's not super polished): "it is thought most unlucky to bring a crucifix into this part of the country.” [...] “Much obliged, but I believe I shall take that chance. After all, it would hardly be “lucky” to step into a new abode leaving God at the threshold." This was probably the most challenging part to write since I know what will happen later in the book and I feel like I'm setting her up for failure.
Linguistically, rather than emotionally, I have been really struggling to make dialogue sound natural and Victorian so a lot of it is jenky and the speech patterns aren't varied enough for my taste (exhibit A above). My plan is to go in when editing and scale it back. If I make it fully 1860s now, it's easier to dial it down to historically inspired than to make modern phrasing sound old.
❤️: what’s the working title?
🧡: what were previous working titles/ideas?
💛: what is the title based on?
💚: how long have you been working on it?
💙: how has the idea changed between starting it and where it is now?
💜: where are you in the writing process?
🖤: what are your MC names?
💔: give a brief character bio of your 3-5 MCs
❣️: which scene has been hardest to write so far?
💕: what has your favorite scene been?
💞: which future scene are you looking forward to writing?
💓: is it part of a series or standalone?
💗: what genre is it in?
💖: are you planning on publishing it? if so, how?
💘: give us a huge spoiler
💝: who has your favorite character arch? give a brief summary
💟: how is your style different in this work compared to previous ones? has it more shifted for the story or just developed in general?
Having friends with different interests in media is so fun sometimes, because wdym we were texting each simultaneously to give live updates on the shows we're watching.
Them: they finally said I love you!
Me: 4 main characters were just killed off in the space of 3 minutes. Another was shot in the eye by his best friend and is in critical condition
In my book, The Curse of Your Kiss, I created the religions. There are three on the island all with their own places of worship.
To preface this, a lot of the names I gave to places, religions, etc were off the top of my head and a lot of them were created by key smashing then rearranging letters. Additionally, the concepts for them were created from scratch, they are not directly influence by any existing cultures. Please let me know if any of them already exist, I don't want to be appropriating anything.
Religions below the cut (there's a lot of lore)
Duolisam
Overview: As the name would suggest, this religion is centralised around the idea of two Gods: a God of creation and a God of destruction. One is responsible for peace, the other blesses war. A third of the population of Azarinh follows this religion, the name given to these followers is Duolas.
Gods: Zephyr is the peaceful God, he oversees birth, bonds and building. He is responsible for the health of the population, connections such as marriage and the growth of the island through construction and trade. Hepher is the vengeful Goddess, she maintains order. Most Duolas pray to her for protection and mercy, they believe she brings about every disaster on the island. Hepher is often held responsible for the Great Drought five artheans* prior to the novel. Hepher also dictates justice on the island, it is tradition for courts to leave an offering for her before conducting a trial.
Place of Worship: This religion is mostly observed at The Ather - an imposing building with two chambers. One chamber is pure and bright with light pouring in, it has fountains so people can wash their faces before addressing Zephyr. It is believed that you should not be hiding anything when you speak to this God, even a layer of dust on your skin can be considered concealment. The other chamber is bathed in red light. The walls are crimson and the arches within it are high. When seeking the guidance of Hepher, cover is recommended. Those who attend this part of the Ather don a sheet of black silk so others cannot judge them.
Rituals: The main practices within this religion are giving generously to others in the same way that their Gods sacrifice themselves to maintain order. Duolas also fast bi-monthly to focus on their faith. During this time, they may ask for whatever they so wish, but their prayers will only be answered if they can fast for the full arc*, not touching food unless the sky is as black as the silk provided at the Ather. During the fast, the markets close as most are run by Duolas, additionally the bells of the Ather ring out from sunrise to sunset.
Selennism
Overview: Selennism is the second most common belief system on the island, though it has far fewer followers than Duolisam. These people believe that The Moon herself is a Goddess.. The name given to these followers is Selennists.
God: In this religion, some believe that The Moon herself birthed Azarinh, though others believe this is a metaphor. Selennists observe the phases of The Moon and use them to determine the fertility of the island, the prosperity of trade, protection from foreigners and the success of the government.
History: Selennism is highly looked down upon in Azarinh as it revolves around ambition. Their intuition and aspiration led many Selennists into powerful roles across the island in the early years after its formation. More recently, the millitant forces on the island removed these people from their jobs, destroyed their possessions and condemned them to remain on the lower half of the island, afraid that their ability to interpret nature herself could offer them unfair advantages. There is a rumour that the Governor of the island and his family follow this religion, especially given the design of their estate.
Place of worship: Selennists practise their religion at The Luntar. This is a building carved from limestone, believed to echo energy within its walls. It is capped by a glass dome and have seven towers, each one of these tracks the path of The Moon across the night sky. There is only one of these buildings remaining on the island, hidden from those who do not believe but not unseen by the Governor. This building is decorated with maps of the sky and astrological symbols. The rest of the buildings were demolished. In spite of this, Selennists carve these symbols into rocks and ruins around the island as a reminder that they still exist, even if they are mostly unseen.
Rituals: People who follow Selennism meet at the beginning and end of each phase of The Moon. At the beginning, they interpret each mark on her face, the brightness of her light and her position in the sky. This tells them how they must act in the following arven* until the next phase begins. They make offerings to her to better themselves and at the end of the phase a celebration is held. At this celebration, they drink from a round well which sits under the moonlight throughout a phase and give thanks to The Moon for her provision.
Samindara
Overview: Samindara is forbidden on Azarinh, though there is no longer active punishment for following it. This practice is the island's form of witchcraft. There are less than 30 who practice on Azarinh, and the name given to this group is the Samhars.
God: Samhars worship nature itself, they believe in no god but trust they should give back to the universe for all it has given them.
Place of worship: There is no appointed place of worship for Samindara, though few of the Samhars live in apothecaries in the far out reaches of the island. They are a close knit community though they refuse to acknowledge each other during arclight hours, afraid that they will be discovered. Alles is among these people.
Rituals: There are many small rituals in Samindara, most of which involve food and healing. The most common practice is leaving offerings. Delta (the main character of my novel) has a favourite of these, though she never understood it before visiting land. Samhars will hand weave baskets to send out on the ocean, these contain:
A lock of hair for personal protection
Crushed rocks which have fallen on the west coast of the island as a peace offering requesting no more ruin
A Chaira
Chairas are hand woven necklaces made from braided wheat and lavender. A scallop shell is then punctured and threaded onto this, creating a powerful spell that binds together the beauty of nature, growth of crops and the continued success of trade which comes from crossing the oceans.
Samindara is only forbidden because it cannot be controlled.
*Each day is an arc, 10 arcs makes an arven, there are 100 arcs and 10 arvens in an arthean. 10 is the number of plenty in this culture as there are ten hills across the island. Buildings of importance are placed upon these. Two ruins stand atop them and are protected, these cannot be removed as they were once a place for Selennists to connect with the moon.
How these will be shown in my book
Delta often collects Samhar's offering baskets and observes the craft work of the humans, these are part of the reason she would like to join the land dwellers.
Delta arrives on the island during the second to last arc of the Duolas' fast, the bells are ringing and most of the markets are shut down, providing her the necessary quiet to explore.
The reference to Selennism is secret for now but all will be revealed.
No hate please, creating this world took me a year.
Unironically the worst thing about writing for me, has to be forcing myself to put an interesting first line to hook people in the blurb and opening chapter alike.
It's just so damn irritating. I have to twist the way I naturally write, just to force my brain to think up some sort of interesting opening lines to hook people. And then once I'm done with it, my mind lingers on it and constantly stresses itself with 'what if it's not good enough as a hook?'
Seriously, I just wish I could write without the ominous question of the hook looming over me.
If you intentionally use generative AI in any way, go ahead and unfollow me right now.
I'd love to say that it doesn't bother me and I can continue being friends and moots with people in spite of them using generative AI, but it's got to a point where the idea of it infuriates me.
If you use AI, you are encouraging:
Climate destruction - data centres require lots of space so green areas are likely to be built on, additionally a single AI prompt uses ~ 500ml of water. That is one water bottle. Once that water is used, it can't be consumed. That might not seem like a lot, but think about how many people around the world are putting in prompts simultaneously.
The endangerment of children - I have seen people running their children, other people's children and children in their classes (teachers do this, yes) through AI to create cute pictures or DIY colouring books. These people seem to forget that predators also use AI to produce sexually compromising images of children. Once a person's image has been put into AI, they are in the data base. That means if someone else types in a prompt, your face or your child's face could end up in the image AI spits out. Connect the dots.
Making billionaires richer - why do you think AI ads are everywhere even when so many people are fighting back against it? Because the rich have shares in AI companies.
Education deficit - lots of schools are using AI now. Students in my class are letting AI write their work so they will never actually learn anything. AI has typos and spits out false information, so why are people letting it dictate what is taught in schools? Before you call this conspiracy, two days ago I sat with my teacher while she typed out an email to her boss refused to use AI in her classes even though every other course is starting to include it in the syllabus.
Eviction - lots of data centre create noise pollution which leads to people having to leave their homes.
Theft - AI "art" is art theft. Nothing produced by AI is original, it's a jigsaw puzzle of pieces stolen from others. If you ask it to produce art, literature, poetry, music or anything creative you are promoting theft. This is already leading to real artists losing commissions and no longer being able to support themselves.
Career instability - AI is replacing jobs. Anyone who works in a creative job is no longer needed as AI can replicate what they do in less time. Managers are realising the workforce are more expensive so jobs in offices are becoming redundant. This includes web design, accounting, and more. My mum just lost her job to AI yet she still uses ChatGPT and it boils my blood.
There are many many many drawbacks to using AI, these are only a few.
