Motivation Things

[aidashakur]

anything for my favorite girl (me)

[doingthehardthings]

Hey! Some Weekend Pics. It's been a lovely span of days. Here's what I gatta get done today:

Teaching Stuff:

Emails (1,2,3)

Grade family comm. submissions

input final grades for family comm.

Grade (10) demo speech submissions for PS. Double check emails & messages & gradebook. Input final grades.

Grade (22) Persuasive speeches for other PS class. Make sure to use 150 rubric. Check emails & messages & gradebook.

Input final grades.

Tonight:

Dinner & bowling w/ J, 6:15

Market for a few things

Buy J&J's Christmas presents.

Stretch.

[firstfullmoon]

when susan sontag wrote “I must change my life so that I can live it, not wait for it”

[lucidloving]

@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks

[styro-sometimes]

[doingthehardthings]

I'm just thinkin' bout love.

Time is a slippery thing. I am less and less able to measure it. It's been a week since I held the soft length of Oli's body: first with life it, and then glassy eyed, without breath.

I went hiking yesterday, and I swear I felt him in the light. His lil spirit, in the light. I'm tryna take care: cooking; walking; reading; writing letters; etc. I've got eight classes ending all at once and there is. so much. grading. If I do things swiftly enough, though, I'll get a month off for winter break. It is so needed.

Today I spent several hours in bed with coffee and books and essays and mariah by my side. gorgeous breakfast. did a nice play time with her. Ganna hit up the post office for some stamps and go do work. My favorite coffee shop is open til midnight tonight. Here's what I need to do:

Admin stuff:

Respond to emails (1, 2, 3)

Follow up RE: TC course copy

Check to make sure all content for TC is entered. Input final grades.

Start updating content for CM Spring class.

Once finished, request 2 course copies.

Grading:

All misc. items for both CM PS courses (check emails, messages)

(6) informative speeches-UM

(39) persuasive speeches (14) remaining

That's a fucking lot. Jesus. I got this though.

[redlipstickresurrected]

Christophe Jacrot (French, b. 1960, Paris, France) - Iceland from the photo book Snjór (Snow in Icelandic), Photography

[reikacchan]

don't give up

[jumex]

Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure. A good life is a progressive expansion of the things that bring you pleasure. Btw

[fitgothgirl]

— Andrew Huberman

[handweavers]

who are you when you are not watching tv or movies? when you aren't playing video games or reading a book or fanfiction or listening to music or whatever other kind of media that you engage with? who are you when your mind isn't in another world or story, when you are forced to sit with yourself and the only experience you have is your own sensorial life? can you define yourself outside of what you consume? who is that person? do you like them? can you bear it? can you bear it?

[handweavers]

these are value-neutral questions and i am not inherently implying anything in them. what you read into it is for you to decide. consider why your immediate reaction to being asked who you are outside of the tv shows you watch is to become defensive or angry or uncomfortable. what might that say about how you feel about your life? why are you reading judgement into my questions? your answers are not for me, they are for you. do with them what you wish.

[aysonatelier]

at a certain point you just get tired of your own shit. you have to force yourself to meditate, workout, eat mindfully and read the books to form a routine that gives you a sense of happiness within yourself again. it’s exhausting i know, but you gotta keep fighting for yourself because no one will take care and love you the way you can for own being. this life is not something to go bout so casually, everyday is your first and last time to embrace this moment. this life was gifted to you with a planet to explore and souls to experience. so show up for yourself.

[heateron]

- leonard cohen

[queengreendown]

something else I been practicing is moving with my first mind. when I miss them, I tell them straight up. no more waiting and debating (did I text last? are they even thinking of me?). it's really not about a person's potential reaction. am I honoring my feelings or am I hiding and holding back? being true to my core is way more important than both acceptance and rejection. if I'm not concerned with shame, i get to live and love freely. freedom will always be my just reward.

[doingthehardthings]

said that i'm blessed/i'll find you easy on my arm

oh, sweet sweet life. i'm so full to the brim with gratitude.

[fractiousmind]

[doingthehardthings]

An update.

[queengreendown]

You do not have the range to alter how I feel about myself.

[doingthehardthings]

you're deadset on givin me up.

Hello good people! Things have happened. Namely, my ex-husband came and spent a few days with Oli & myself. I'm still processing that. What a ride this life is.

Feeling Ready to Go today, after having spent yesterday in bed with the cats. Did house stuff: dishwasher; cleaned kitchen; took out trash; folded and hung laundry; did some light cleaning. Opened course modules and responded to alllla the emails; checked bank account & transferred money into second account to set aside for Oli's transition. Below is my grading list. It won't all get done today, but I'll do my best to get done what I can. Ganna shower; do a kitchen dance session; maybbbbbe get a walk in. Hoping to at least be able to watch the second half of the Chief's game tonight.

I'm trying.