How To Build the Woman that You Want to Be -1
In order to be the woman you want to be, you have to start building her today. She’s not going to be built overnight. No matter how many subliminals you listen to, or how many Pinterest boards you make - the harsh truth you have to accept is that you are going to have to put in the effort. Nothing solid comes without effort.
Accept that it will take time.
Understand that you will make mistakes. You may not be consistent all the time. You may fall off your routine. Promise yourself that in the event that happens, you WILL get back up and fight harder. You may give up in the short term for a day or two - then you get yourself together, and aim for the long run.
Note down your “Old Story.” This is your current self who you want to change for the better. You will write everything only in the past tense and in third person. You will not use “I” or “me” or “myself.” Here are some guiding questions/ template:
“She was someone who _________ (what are the things you don’t like about yourself? For instance, she never considered herself smart enough or beautiful enough). She used to struggle a lot with ___________ (Note down all your insecurities, even the tiny ones). She was a ______ friend (were you a toxic friend? Did you gossip a lot? Did you start drama? Were you supportive?). She felt _________ (what did you want the most and didn’t get? Ex: unheard, unattractive, underconfident…). She was too ______ (qualities that come in the way of your success- anxious, shy, people pleaser….). People treated her _______________ (did people pay attention to you? Were you invisible? Were you ignored or bullied?).”
This is your old story. We are going to say RIP to her very soon. She is someone who you will now only fondly remember, like an old acquaintance. You will not hate her or despise her. You will not be cringed by her or embarrassed of her. You’re going to accept her as the person she was, you’re going to forgive her and move on with your new life.
Note down exactly what sort of a woman you want to be. Be honest to yourself, this is for your eyes only. Best if you keep it on your Notes app so that you can see it at your convenience. Write this in third person.
Here is a guide (you don’t necessarily have to follow this):
“This is the girl that everyone knows (if being well-known matters to you). She looks _____________ (glamorous? Trendy? Posh? Ideal body type that is attainable to you?). She’s fabulously unattainable (if having high standards is important to you, which it should be). Few have access to being in her inner circle but she’s somehow a part of every relevant social circle (if being private and well-connected matters to you). People think of her as ____________ (all the qualities that you want to be). She loves to _________ (travel? Visit art galleries? Play instruments? Ride horses? Dance ballet? It doesnt matter if you dont have that hobby yet - what do you envision for yourself?). Her life is _______ (quiet/ peaceful/ very happening/ extroverted). Her job is ____________ (business owner? Lawyer? Doctor? Nail tech?), and she is incredibly focused at it, achieving all that she wants. Her best skill set lies in ______________ (creativity? Strategy? Be specific - don’t just say leadership, define it). In her free time, she ___________ (attends fashion shows/ spends time in the nature/ goes to high profile galas/ plays a sport… you get the gist).
Her mornings consist of ___________ (sleeping in, relaxing and getting a massage? Waking up early, getting a workout in? Write what feels natural to you). She lives in a _________________ (penthouse/ farmhouse/ mansion….) in ________ (city/ town). She’s ______ (active/ low-key) on social media. She dresses ________ (describe style) and looks the best in ________ (NOT what you look best in now, what do you want to look your best in?).
She is ________ (single/ relationship/ married/ fiancé - remember this is for future self, not current self). If she isn’t single, her partner is her soul mate and biggest supporter. They are ____________ (qualities you want in a partner). They work in _______________ (career you want your partner to have). They are ______________ (physical traits). Their way of spoiling you is ______, _____ and ________ (write a minimum three). They love you because of your ___________ (qualities that you want yourself to have as a partner). They think that you are ____________ (sexy? Adventurous? Nurturing? How do you want your partner to think of you?).
She has _____ (many/ close select few) friends, who absolutely adore her. She is the friend who _______ (the best qualities you think friends should have). She remembers everyones’ birthdays and the smallest things. Her friends love her because she is one of a kind.
Her family adores her. She is able to be emotionally supportive of them and they, in return, respect her boundaries. They are proud of their child, no matter what. They only want the best for her. She has a beautiful, healthy relationship with her family.
She is at peace with life. She has abundant ________ (things you want - health, wealth, prosperity….). She is independent and emotionally strong, and can fight through any challenge. She has boundaries, and does not break them. She protects her peace. She does what is fair and just, and does not stoop to being mean, rude or tacky. She handles even the worst situations with grace. She is a woman that people love and respect. Everything about her is admirable - even her flaws.”
This is your new story. This is the only story you will ever give yourself (of course you can make changes whenever) and the old story is out. You are not your flaws or your weaknesses. The woman that you have written in that template is you, and you are going to build her and exactly that life.
You need to sleep on your Old and New Story, in case you need to make any changes. Give yourself a day or two, try to understand more in depth the kind of life you want. The life you want shouldn’t be what your parents want or what your friends want - it should be personal and yours. Don’t rush writing your Story.
We are going to bring her to life, very soon. Follow my blog for the next steps!
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