...everything would work out since we were alive.

anything will work out if you're still alive. ♡ mizuki; 23; shi/hir; mixed origin system ♡ current theme: hinaichigo

[dolleriumfluffle]

About and DNI

[Plain Text: About and DNI]

We are Mizuki, aka the Dollerium Fluffle! We are a mixed origin, polyastro system who loves dolls, pretty cure, and horror. CEO of deranged eroguro vns.

We are a professionally diagnosed HC-DID system, and this is our primary origin and defines a lot of how we function. However, in addition we are a dreamway system, machina system, and dollbungenic. Some of our members have spiritual or paragenic origins, and we also have a sentient headspace that is parogenic. All in all, these origins blend together with equal importance, and we consider ourselves mixed origin.

Here is some collective info!

Collective Names: Mizuki, Zarocheri

Collective Nicknames: Cheri

Collective Pronouns: shi/hir

Member Count: infinite (polyastro)

Our Body: 23 y/o, indigenous caribbean + japanese, intersex, multiply disabled

Collective Identities: transfem, two-spirit, bisexual

Relationships: married, and apart of a closed quad

Here are some boundaries to keep in mind when interacting with us as a system!

Do not refer to us as dollerium system, use terms like “you guys,” or switch our pronouns around if you know who’s fronting. Just use our collective name(s) and pronouns unless you have express permission to do otherwise. Doll and Dollerium are acceptable as collective names as well.

We are an introject heavy system. Please not ask our introjects about their sources or memories unless they bring it up first - we are not our sources and do not want to be interacted with just because of them.

Please ask if someone is okay with doubles before interacting with them as one, as this can vary based on our health.

If you know you’re interacting with a little or middle, do not treat them like children without express permission.

Please do not use tone tags with us.

Do not ask for us to bring a certain alter out or if you can talk to a certain alter. Respect us as both one person and as individuals.

DNI:

you are anti-endo or otherwise participate in fakeclaiming

you don’t support good faith identities (aka you’re against bi lesbians, lesbian trans men, neopronouns, and etc)

you are under 16

you participate in proship discourse, reblog things about it, or align as an anti

you are anti-kink (including ddlg, cnc, and etc)

you are radqueer/transid

you identify as jirai

We have a simply plural and discord that you can ask for if we're mutuals!

[reimeichan]

Think systems with a high number of fictional introjects are a new phenomena? Kluft's paper on polyfragmented/extremely complex DID from 1988 includes a patient with LOTR introjects, and another based off of Shakespear's Tempest. Fictional introjects have been a thing for a very long time!

[reimeichan]

Yep! You can find it here.

(also the URL in case tumblr eats that hyperlink like it sometimes does)

[trenchcoat-of-hats]

We actually love this paper. We got a lot out of it. There's actually a lot more said that fakeclaimers always say is fake. Some key takeaways:

1. very high numbers of alters is very possible. The highest number in this study was over 4,500! 40% had 26-50 alters, 4% had 51-75, 12% had 76-100, 19% had 101-200, 8% had 201-300, and 20% had 300+

2. there's "ad hoc" forming of alters, as in they form frequently and often arbitrarily. "One patient was so apprehensive about her consultation with me that no alter would agree to attend. A new alter was formed for the occasion." Some even "developed a pattern of forming new alters in the face of trivial stressors and inconveniences, or whenever they felt cornered." And there was evidence of forming multiple at once, "almost two-thirds developed complex splitting patterns so that more than one alter emerged on each occasion of the formation of new alters."

3. innerworlds! "Over two-thirds had developed elaborate inner worlds, in which the personalities interacted among themselves". And "in some cases alters appear to have been created to do no more than to fill roles in these inner worlds."

4. yes, fictives, and factives! Some "formed alters based on the therapist." And in fact, "most MPD patients have alters based on identification, internalization, and introjection". And introject-heavy proof: "a small percentage have formed a massive number of alters in this manner as a defence against object loss."

5. there's the phenomenon of essentially cycling through alters, or as the study describes, "with each major life change some or all of the alters were created anew, and their predecessors might either remain active or subside, and become covert or latent."

6. even full alters (not fragments) can be relatively similar to each other: "this patient, with over 4,500 alters, had only 300 alters that were as poorly defined as the alters in Case 19 [(fragments)]. They were remarkably full when they appeared, although many were quite similar to one another. It was as if the same "basic issue" types of alters could be reduplicated readily, and regenerated again and again over the course of the patient's life."

7. the author rejects "splitting" terminology in most cases because "the mind, rather than dividing itself, rather multiplies itself, recopies itself selectively, or rearranges a finite number of elements in patterns of great potential variety." And also, "if one understands the process of alter formation as one of defence reduplication and/or reconfiguration rather than division, the problem of wondering how the mind becomes divided into such complexity ceases to be relevant."

We love this. This study really speaks to us. And it was published in 1988. Amazing.

[frameacloud]

Image description: The first image is an excerpt from the paper in question. It says, "One patient reconfigured her alters after reading J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, and presented a complex cadre of alters based on hobbits, orcs, and wizards; another used Shakespeare's Tempest, a situation that became clear when I encountered an alter named Caliban."

The second image is a screenshot of a Tumblr reply from user blu-cheavy-main, saying: "hey do you have a link to the paper?" End image descriptions.

That's a very interesting paper! A book by the same author, Richard P. Kluft, also talks about fictional introjects. Childhood Antecedents of Multiple Personality, published in 1985 by American Psychiatric Press. You can borrow it from the Archive.org library or use WorldCat to see if you can borrow it from a library near you.

Kluft's book is the earliest academic source-- and earliest source, period-- listed in a booklet of history research by House of Chimeras, A Collection of Mentions of Nonhuman and Fictional-Based Members of Plural Systems. Chimeras's booklet gives this summary of the relevant part of Kluft's book:

"On page 180 while talking about the alters included within a specific case of multiplicity, the author [Kluft] noted one alter in the system was based on a character from The Hulk series and Captain Kirk from Star Trek, another alter had some similarities to Mr. Spock from Star Trek, and two other female alters had the same name as the two female characters from the series The Flintstones."

These are even different characters than the ones that the 1988 paper wrote about. Between the two sources, these tell about three different systems who had fictional introjects in the 1980s.

[chaos-in-one]

I think the system & plural communities needs to get way more normal about people who are not ready to recover. ESPECIALLY if you label yourself as 'pro recovery'.

Is trying to fearmonger about recovery and/or convince other people not to try to do things that would help their recovery a dick move? Absolutely. But you know what else is a dick move? Trying to force someone who is not ready to start recovering into recovery. Treating people who haven't gotten far or aren't actively working on recovering like shit. It's not 'pro recovery' to do that shit. Doing that doesn't help those people recover. If someone is not ready for that, is not ready to work on recovering in xyz way, forcing it will do far more harm and likely push them in the opposite direction, away from recovering. And treating people in those situations like shit just harms their mental health further, it doesn't help them recover in any way.

Recovery works different for everyone. And sometimes, that means there's stages or points in time where little to no active work to recover is happening, because the person is not ready to move on yet. And that is okay, that is not something that should be shamed.

[artisticdysfunction]

absolutely. can't tell you how many kids we've seen be absolutely focused on recovery while still actively living in an abusive situation, because so many people say you gotta focus on recovery all the time no matter what. dios mío, let people survive first and have some rest instead of jumping on their ass.

[hiiragi7]

Agreed. I also want to add on that bodily autonomy means people should get a choice in whether or not they recover at all and what recovery means to them. Often when people push that something is anti- or pro- recovery, it's with a very specific, western, clinical sort of recovery in mind. I've known a number of people who specifically don't call their experiences or goals "recovery" because of that association.

Many system/plural communities, especially CDD communities, very much have a "recover no matter what" approach that really isolates and harms a lot of systems. A lot of the time it comes with the pressure that it would be morally wrong to remain unrecovered, and the only way to be a good person/system is to recover. That's a lot to put on others, and makes people feel bad for not recovering "fast enough" or "the right way" or at all.

[draconic-archive]

spaces that claimed to be "pro recovery" actually ended up being the ones who hurt me the most. i was pushed into uncovering memories that i wasn't ready for at the time, which ended up retraumatizing me while i was already extremely vulnerable. i could go on for hours about how toxic all those old servers and communities were, about how they pushed people who lived in actively abusive and traumatic environments to "get over it" all for the sake of "recovery" as it pertained to their specific ideas. even children as young as 13 were pushed to seek "recovery" at all costs, and quite frankly i am disgusted with it the more i think about that.

what a lot of people forget in their black and white "good vs bad" recovery dichotomy is that DID is a coping mechanism. dissociation is a coping mechanism. it doesn't just affect us the way it does for no reason. we learned it as a way to keep ourselves alive.

and yes, that level of dissociation can be (and often is) maladaptive, but if you're still actively in a place where you're being traumatized or you're in a vulnerable state, that dissociation may just be what's saving your life.

any coping skill can be maladaptive if it's used in a harmful way. if it's not currently harmful and is instead the last ditch effort to keep you a functional person in an environment that would otherwise destroy you, then it's not time to consider it a bad coping mechanism and it's definitely not time to put that skill back up on the shelf.

you can do all of that when you're ready, if you're ready, at your own pace, and when you personally feel compelled to do it. don't let anyone take away your autonomy or your dignity of risk for the sake of looking like a "recovered person" in a very narrow worldview. you do not have to do things you're not ready for.

[asteroid-sysblog]

and, in my experience, those spaces tend to have this “holier than thou” feeling. many people have tried to tell me how to label or interact with my system and it made us split new parts it was so distressing.

agreed with all the people in the above comments

[dolleriumfluffle]

whats "identifying" as jirai??? isnt that a fashion?? how is that something you can be/identify instead of clothing u wear? im so lost (<- knows nothing ever , sorry)

https://dolleriumfluffle.tumblr.com/post/752646886293372928/oh-hey-friend-uh-i-just-wanna-make-sure-i-dont

already answered a question similarly to this here

[anatomizer]

The more I get back into liking, loving and lusting on people, the more I'm reminded what a sanitized, segregated lie queers have been built into.

I've met the sweetest, prettiest queens who tell me "Well, I'm a transsexual. Sometimes I call myself a transman because both my trans self and my manhood are me."

New friends tell me about the sexcapades their closed polycule gets up to that they just watch because they're a kinky ace.

There's staunch lesbians who helped the love of their life transition as a transmasc, gay men begging to be topped by trans men with the fattest tits.

Older queers don't hesitate to shout "oh, like Prince!" when I tell them I'm androgyne. Vanilla questioning men will text me day after day before shyly confessing I'm their dream guy. Closeted trans women ask to kiss me because I'm their dream girl. Doms and subs who melt when they realize I'm both and neither, and they didn't know somebody like me existed.

There's vanilla lesbians on Grindr and acearos who have shown me love deeper than I thought possible and guydykes kissing girlfags and MtFtMtX elders and throuples that have so much affection that they just collectively parent babygays who got disowned.

Everybody is so beautiful! There is so much love! It is no wonder a cruel world has a vested interest in suppressing queerness when humanity is so expansive to us.

[anatomizer]

I also want to make it explicit that not only are these real people, but like. This is explicitly about people I know across the spectrum of race, ability, and more. Including me, a fat cripple!

Queerness is not the exclusive domain of the thin, the white, and the ablebodied. If you are any of those things and can only picture queer people like you? You need to ask yourself why.

That's why I'm making this addition. It is on me as a white person to make the room for queer BIPOC that is vehemently, violently denied. And I did not make that room in the original post.

Intersectional and lateral aggression kills. There's no "community" without U and I.

[anatomizer]

Respectfully, I am going to push back on this.

This is by no means a callout. Your heart is in the right place. There are a few ideas being conflated here though. Some of them are precisely why I am asking people to reflect.

Up front, and above everything else: everybody's safety matters. But safety is not comfort, and community requires discomfort.

Somebody of an intersectional identity fearing they're not under an extended umbrella isn't expressing bias. That is a learned response from the trauma of repeated suppression and subjugation. This is what a person without safety is forced to do.

On the other hand, I as a white person need to say this post is about BIPOC because of racist bias. There is no pre-existing implication of racial solidarity. White queers repeatedly hammer that home by only treating ourselves as family. And particularly as queer rights have expanded in the global West? It is increasingly easier to be white first.

And what I have watched as a leader and organizer is how "personal safety" and "safe spaces" are conflated as "comfort for me". It is comfortable to say largely Black and immigrant neighborhoods feel unsafe. It is comfortable to say you got a bad gut feeling from somebody experiencing psychosis. Neither of those things are of real threat to your safety, though. They're just scary and unfamiliar.

These scenarios are extremely dangerous and limiting to people like me, though. An ablebodied stranger feeling "unsafe" because of my health symptoms is a threat to me. They can have me pulled from those very queer spaces, or get me institutionalized... so on and so forth.

And I can't keep myself safe from ableism. That's how other people treat me. To exist, I have to put myself in danger.

You want queer community? Sincerely, you need to learn to be uncomfortable for the sake of others. Queer separatism can never be addressed without actively confronting intersectional and lateral bigotry. So many of us will be stuck on the outside looking in otherwise.

[krikzilla]

I care them so so so much

[mmmrcrd]

[mmmrcrd]

[ministarfruit]

traffic light stars

[senjogahara-hitagi]

[dep-doo]

he's an angel with a gun my good sir

[pepelisss]

Source?

It was revealed to me in a dream

[just-a-living-meat-thing]

Trying my hand at this meme :)

Following Matsuda’s “death” in the Yotsuba arc

[p1nkies0das]

Cure Star / Hikaru Drawing!! Kirayaba!!! ☆～（ゝu ∂）

An unedited version:

I made this a couple months ago but I like how cute it looks so I touched it up a little ^^

[leupagus]

It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.

[leupagus]

No seriously it's REALLY fucked up when you treat characters as if they were real live people while you treat people like they're just characters.

[leupagus]

I'm gonna go ahead and repeat: it is super, duper, extra scooper fucked up when you treat a character as if it were a living person while treating other human beings who are interacting with you like they are merely characters who can be written out of your personal story if you just find a remark mean enough.

[leupagus]

You. You get it.

ETA wait why does this have 18k notes

[psychotic-gerard]

Draw badly. Write nonsensically. Embroider messily. Burn what you bake and cook. Get paint everywhere. Read half a book. Lose your mind for a bit. Plant things. Have faith in the process. Abandon 70 wood-carving projects. Get a kit and do some of it and never return to it. Get comfortable with sucking and losing motivation. Continue to create with reckless abandon.

[verdantry]

This ate