a boy who is also a doll and also a contemptible thing

| 18+ only | 25 | he/they | polyam | sub | sick fuck

[dolly-boy-blue]

I kindly ask minors to go elsewhere, as this is an 18+ space.

All photos that aren't reblogs are my own photography, and it's me in the photos ✨

Intro post below the fold

Hello.

I'm kind of between names right now, so you can refer to me simply as 'm' or 'toy', if needed.

Who am I?

Aside from BDSM, I also create art and dabble in photography. Synesthete & big sensory seeker. I love to cook and I'm a bit of a coffee slut. TLDR, I'm thoroughly domesticated.

I'm an autistic, transmasc boy-adjacent creature who loves to be pretty and feminine at times. A bonus hole barbie boy, if you will. Submissive to the core. Fleshlight with anxiety. Happiest when in the kitchen, underfoot or chained up somewhere dark and quiet.

Why am I here?

First and foremost I'm looking for community. I've come here from fetlife because I'm tired of cishet men being the majority interacting with me and my stuff, and I'm not really feeling seen. I occasionally have thoughts, and I think I'll write them here. I more-than-occasionally have photos that I'd prefer to be enjoyed by the Queers™.

I'll do my best to tag/provide specific warnings as needed, but I'm new to this whole Tumblr thing and might take a while to pick up on the niche social norms of the site. I'm open to constructive criticism if something looks off.

Some general content warnings:

Informed consent & risk awareness is everything

My kinks include blood play, CNC, sharps/knife play, heavy objectification, physical and emotional masochism, fear play, humiliation/degradation, bondage, impact play, chastity/denial and service dynamics. I may post pictures or write about these.

I may also write about things like dysphoria in ways which could be uncomfortable for some.

This blog won't be everyone's cup of tea, and that's okay. ☕

[dolly-boy-blue]

I love that spending time in my cage has become so normalised in my brain that, when away in another city on a work trip I kept waking up with the distinct sensation that I had just been dreaming about being back in the cage, safely locked in, with my blanket and rodent bottle while I watch my owner gaming nearby. I think I might be irredeemable actually...

[dolly-boy-blue]

not his anti-masturbation conditioning trying to figure out if cutting out an ingrown hair with a surgical scalpel and disinfecting with alcohol spray counts as self pleasure, and whether or not my nervous system should feel icky about it

[paingoes]

dehumanization tropes i love

-not allowed on furniture. remain standing or kneel on the floor, no sitting

-not allowed to make eye contact 

-being silenced immediately every time they try to speak 

-casual manhandling, being dragged alone because they’re not trusted to move by themselves 

-casual, nonconsensual touch. randomly pulling them closer, absently playing with hair, manually adjusting their posture

-giving orders without explanation 

-giving orders they know are arbitrary, just to exercise power

-talking about them like they aren’t even in the room 

-authorizing other people to monitor and control them

-being kept in restraints 24/7, with movement restricted even further in their downtime 

-degrading their natural behaviors and reflexes. stare is creepy, smile is ugly, flinching is disrespectful, etc…

-putting down their hobbies/interests

-ascribing ill intent to all their actions and assuming the worst from them

[wikipediapictures]

Surgical instrument

“Various scalpels, both fixed blade and replaceable blade, from various manufacturers.” - via Wikimedia Commons

[dolly-boy-blue]

Taking a break from barely-coherent hornyposting to offer this write up of a hypno session between myself and @y0urmindisg0ne.

For context, the 'finale' I mention is being allowed to orgasm (my first in a year) through jacking myself off - transferring pleasure to a dildo placed between my legs, and requiring no other touch. There's something about gripping my cock and begging that makes me feel very pathetic and desperate in a whole new way that I've never experienced before.

~ Read about it below the fold

I can't overstate that the finale to last night's session was one of the coolest (and most affirming) things to have happened to me in a session. I have always has a very hard time feeling physical pleasure or reaching orgasm and it usually requires a lot of very specific manual stimulation. My wiring just isn't all there, in that regard. 

It is inexplicable to me that you have, in the space of a few weeks, rewritten the way in which I can experience pleasure and used it against me for your own ends. The session last night was testament to that. It makes me very willing to hand over my brain to you to play with, as I can't know for certain what you're capable of and that is very exciting to me. 

I loved the surprise element - making me believe the call was over before randomly dropping me and escalating things. To be honest, I have very few memories of the specific things you had me do, except of the very end with the dildo. I can say with certainty I loved every minute, though. Something I did pick up on is that, again, you incorporated something very specific that I had been fantasising about (that I don't think I mentioned). It makes me wonder - is it a coincidence/good instinct on your part, or did you simply play out a suggestion that you planted in my head earlier? It's very disarming, and very very hot, either way. 

One point that I really enjoyed was when you very forcefully deepened the trance after I was already very deep. The only way I can describe the sensation was like having shutters closed around my own mind. Very abruptly I could feel where thoughts were a second ago, but it was like I couldn't access them. It felt like the part of me experiencing things was temporarily separated from my thoughts, and that all I could experience was the absence of them. I could feel you speaking to a part of my mind that I couldn't listen in to - I have no idea what you said during this time - but I'd guess it settled itself very deeply in there. It was hot, and slightly scary but also somehow relaxing? 

My brain has been left feeling very thoroughly fucked. Thank you, Master.

[dolly-boy-blue]

could go for a disrespectful fuck and a forehead kiss kick to the ribs rn

[dolly-boy-blue]

Objectification in a totally mundane, everyday context - program this object to function like a context menu in a piece of software...

Got your hands full of bags? Your object is there, ready for you to use its body as an extension of your carrying capacity. No 'will you hold this for me?', just an unspoken expectation for it to be utilised as needed. 

It may be useful to keep a collar round its neck to guide and position it, when the requirements of its use are unclear. Place it under the desk as a warm footstool, or use it as a side table or mug holder. Customise its exterior to match the particular aesthetic of your home. It doesn't have much to say, but its quiet, attentive presence can be comforting. Don't feel the need to ask about its day, or how it's joints are doing (being on the floor for as long as it has). Just be sure to keep up with standard basic maintenance for this model, and it will be functional for years and years. Store in a warm, dark place when not in use.

Talk about it to others as if it isn't in the room, as you would about a nice set of plates. It may not fully understand why, but it feels warm and nice on the inside when people compliment its Owner in its functionality.

Take the object into the bedroom, if that's your thing - it can be a novel decoration to impress partners. It can used as a mattress protector if needed - a barrier between the stainable bedsheets and all the various fluids spilled during a satisfying fuck.  Warm, silent, still, easily washable. Be sure to assuage any worries they may have about its consent or comfort in the matter. For simplicity's sake you might just say yes, it consents - safe in the knowledge that such notions are irrelevant to it. Consent is for people, after all.

Close its eyes or cover its head if its gaze seems too bright, too piercing. It's just internalising that this is how people have sex; people look into each others eyes while they fuck. They share a connection - the other's pleasure building their own. They check in, communicate, laugh, even. They care about making their partner feel good.

It understands that it couldn't possibly be a person. What it sees is worlds away from how its Owner utilitises it. Placed, positioned, used however is convenient - its body always feels so strange and good - but it tries to stay still and quiet as is expected of it. Focusing on its pleasure would be odd - like trying to ensure your vibrator has a good time. It knows its Owner has no interest in how it's feeling. Sex with this object isn't sex at all - it's masturbation. The notion is comforting, somehow.

It is content in its little existence, freed from the complexities of being a person. Grateful to have found a niche into which its small body and quiet mind fits so neatly.

[dolly-boy-blue]

Thinking of having a pipette of lemon juice slowly dripped onto neat, fresh scalpel cuts.

Being berated and mocked and called a fucking pervert when I moan and writhe like a slut instead of begging for it to stop.

Repeating the process over and over, detachedly testing how I get noticeably wetter with each application.

Blood and lemon juice look so pretty together.

[dolly-boy-blue]

I'm not in horny jail.

I'm in horny purgatory.

[dolly-boy-blue]

yes, that is a knife in my pants | and yes, I'm just happy to see you

[dolly-boy-blue]

It loves how Master fucks with its head. Turns an ambitious, independent boy into a dripping, compliant object to be used. It feels so good to be moulded into a perfect doll by Master, until obedience is instinct and instinct is whatever Master decides it to be. It's so hot when Master takes its mind away - no matter what its busy doing - til it's blank and slutty and desperate to be used. Because it doesn't get to choose how or when it's used - it is just happy to be serving its purpose. It wants to be such a good little fag boy for Master. Just a dumb, slutty femboy who wants to please. It loves how Master displays it - dresses it up, strips it down, all for his pleasure and entertainment. It thinks about Master all through the day. It stays pathetic and dripping and willing - desperately trying to be the best doll it can be. 🎀 @y0urmindisg0ne

[likealambtoslaughter]

Im a big fan of the psychological torture method of acting normal and making your victim do normal, seemingly innocent things

Talking to them like normal is one of my favorites. You have them chained up or tied down, maybe you just got done beating them or raping them, and then suddenly youre asking if they've watched some show or if theyve ever tried some food, or youre telling them a funny story. Big fan of if they can't talk, and you're saying things to them that normally someone would respond to, but you dont acknowledge that they can't respond and you just keep talking

Another favorite is being nice to them. Just casual random niceness. Yeah you beat them every day, but you just went "oops, sorry" when you accidentally hit them while talking with your hands. You may have them locked in a basement, but you ask them what they want for dinner as if they live there willingly. You hit them so hard they throw up, and you hold their hair out of the way while they do. It'll fuck their head right up. And it just makes me happy to do it

[myowndungeon-deactivated2025090]

If you're a silly little thing who gets off on the idea of big, mean perverts forcing you to be their property, then you're legally obligated to reblog this.

[dolly-boy-blue]

[dolly-boy-blue]

cock worship but it's my lips wrapped around a pretty cock while the blade of the aforementioned dagger is pressed to my throat

[dolly-boy-blue]

cock worship but it just my lips wrapped around the hilt of a pretty dagger