So i guess i haven't been on here in a while, and that's alright, i don't expect anyone minds, because i never really kept this account for anyone but me. Yeah gaining my grand total of 390 odd followers was a real achievement at the time, but i guess its not what it was to me then, as it is now.
I just checked my brothers tumblr out, and he made quite a profound last statement on there, dating it 7th may 2014. Well, it wasnt quite a statement, he had a fair amount to say, all worth reading.
http://thesearehardtimes4dreamers.tumblr.com/ (reference)
Anyway, it made me think a lot. I'd like to quote something he said, "tumblr is for me, a relic of a period of my life". Now i guess that is quite right, for many people, tumblr is something that has been something to turn to, and sometimes we think we are doing it for others, but we aren't its for ourselves. I think its the same for me.
Now, i want to say now whilst i think of it, and so i don't lose this feeling, it will be trapped in these words, that i am happy with my past. And that i am happy with how i felt, of feeling the emotions frequently expressed in my own relic supplied by tumblr. The happy and the sad. Not all parts of my past have been brilliant, and i was definately never an angel, but im pleased with it all, and with how deeply i felt at that time. I think thats the best bit, i really felt everything so profoundly, and i think i still do, but not quite in the same noval and eye-opening way. Thats why, even the things i have done wrong, i am pleased with.
My brother is quite an incredible influence, and he is the only reason i am writing this, and remembering this past i had on tumblr. It is a snapshot, he's right. And it does hold your aspirations and hopes for the future. We weren't always superbly close, but we were close in a very different way to what i am with anyone else. He is that person that will always be my best friend to play Lego with, or open up to all in a spurt in a time of need, a best friend i will always be close to, no matter how far away our lives lead us. In a way, we can live more than one life all at once if we keep connections like this full.
Because of this reflection, that is, as he said, "pretentious" i want to start writing a diary again. I think it helps to really feel things in the moment, because for me, thats more important than remembering, though the latter should not be undervalued. Now is a brilliant time to start, as things begin to change in my life, and, i think, my feelings may be most unpredictable and ripe. I want to hold onto the love i feel now for everyone, especially those closest, but also accept some new feelings and handle them. This will help. As some old favorite quotes said, "ride your feelings", "live in the moment" and "whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but its very important that you do it".
Adios (just come back from espania!)
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
origamiaround
turnnoffyourmind
2087
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
