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ellievsbear
Acquired Stardust
JBB: An Artblog!
Origami Around
blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
pixel skylines
styofa doing anything
Kiana Khansmith
RMH
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
almost home
oozey mess
🪼
One Nice Bug Per Day
#extradirty
wallacepolsom
Xuebing Du
seen from United Kingdom
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@domconfessions
Serious moment This image shows just how happy and content people are in these sorts of relationships, this fag is just so happy to know that he is owned and protected by his master the way that some slaves could only dream off, this fag has found true happiness
Protecting Real Submissives
I don’t know if this can be quantified but I’ve often thought it extremely important that the community come to the rescue of submissives with education and support. I’m a natural submissive and I now understand it’s a beautiful quality to have. I’m the caring loving pleaser and I’ll do anything for my dominant partner. But that can go wrong on so many levels for so many reasons. We are so vulnerable to real abuse that can be life-changing. Abuse that’s not a game or a fantasy. I’m HIV+ and I am because I a Dom took advantage of my submissive nature. As a submissive it’s counterintuitive to call the shots or make demands. You try politely but my submissive nature is true and honest it’s not a fantasy. It’s hard for me to disappoint a dominant man and I want to think he wouldn’t hurt me. But you see the posts and the fantasies on Tumblr focused on abuse. Real abuse of humans. Not fantasies but real abuse. It’s also very confusing as a submissive because we see these messages and as true submissives we let ourselves fall victim to thinking this is our lot in life and the actions prey on our core need to please a dominant man at any cost. I’m not a victim but becoming HIV+ was hard on me. I am a sweet nice submissive. I protected myself until I didn’t because I was pleasing a dominant man and I have to live with that decision. And then as an HIV+ submissive my self-esteem plummeted and I really started to let men abuse me and take even more advantage of me. As a sweet beautiful submissive, I had no understanding of my real value and it seemed there were no real dominant men around to help me understand that. And no education out there to help me understand it on my own. All this discourages a real submissive to enjoy the life he wants to as a submissive because it often results in abuse and lowered self esteem and real problems. When will the dominant men stand up and know they must help to protect and respect beautiful loving pleasing submissives like me. I’m not asking for control. But there are real negative consequences to the mixing of sub fetishes vs real sub living. It can’t all fall on the subs shoulders because we give up power and struggle to protect ourselves when we’re expected to listen and obey. Doms need to understand the power they have and help promote a positive use of that power. Thanks for breaking the cycles of abuse with your blog.
Subdrop and Aftercare
I thought I would write a little and provide some useful information about subdrop and aftercare, since I have just had to help a close friend deal with her first experience of subdrop and although she knew what it was, she did not realise that is what she was going through and did not know how to deal with it.
What Is Subdrop?
Subdrop is the emotional and physical symptoms felt by a submissive that is caused by tiring out the body and the release of adrenalin, endorphins, hormones and other chemicals that create a natural high during a scene, leading to a subsequent ‘come down’ afterwards, similar to the effects of illicit drugs. It can leave a sub feeling exhausted, depressed, sad and very emotional. This can include feelings of guilt, shame, embarrassment and other negative thoughts, but you should realise that this is simply your body’s natural response to a very intense experience, it is not your fault, you have done nothing wrong and you are not to blame.
Subs will often experience subdrop in different ways, some may feel the effects of it more intensely than others and it can last for varying periods of time, anywhere from an hour up to a few weeks afterwards, but it is only temporary and will eventually pass. It is important that you learn to recognise subdrop, because once you understand that you are feeling the effects of it, you can begin to address it and simply knowing why you are feeling that way will also help, especially when it comes to your emotions and feelings. Try to communicate, interact and stay in contact with your Dom or others, who can help you cope with your emotions and how you are feeling, by offering you support and talking you through it. Following the other advice I have included below will also help you recover from the effects of subdrop.
For the all the Doms, Dommes, Masters and Mistresses out there, this is just as crucial for You, as it is for Your sub. Subdrop is very real and not some myth, so aftercare and helping Your sub deal with the effects of it should be just as important as what You might do during a scene, especially as You are essentially responsible for Your sub feeling the effects of it and caring for Your sub is part of the responsibility that comes with being a Dominant. Aftercare should not be neglected and staying in contact with Your sub, offering them reassurance, validation and support will help during this vulnerable time and they should not have to go through this alone. Although some subs do prefer time to themselves, You should at least offer and ask what You can do to help, as everyone is different and their needs will vary.
If You do neglect aftercare and ignore subdrop, then the effects can begin to outweigh the benefits and enjoyment that Your sub may feel during a scene with You, which can cause problems for Your relationship with them and even end it. It is also worth pointing out that Dominants and switches can also feel a form of 'drop’ after a scene, which I won’t address, but You can read more about it in the links I have provided at the end of this article.
So What Is Aftercare?
Aftercare is the name given to the process of being there with a partner for a sufficient amount of time, so they can feel safe, regain their emotional equilibrium and recover from the effects of a scene. It is equally important to recognise that aftercare is for both the Top and bottom, Dominant and submissive. If either person leaves too soon, then their partner may feel abandoned or a loss far exceeding the pleasure they might have felt during the scene.
Aftercare can include practical things such as making sure a sub is physically taken care of, treating any injuries, keeping them warm, allowing them to rest and making sure they have enough to eat or drink. Aftercare should also include attending to the emotional needs of a sub by offering them support, reassurance and validation. This can include showing them affection by cuddling or holding them, even gentle and loving sex, as well as asking how they are feeling, talking through the scene with them and their experience, answering any questions they might have and giving them a lot of positive reinforcement, such as saying how proud You are of them. This can continue after you have parted ways and for several days afterwards, by staying in contact and checking on their recovery.
Although like subdrop, everyone has a different experience and needs when it comes to aftercare, some for instance may want to be left alone to process this on their own and there is no right or wrong way, it simply involves doing whatever is necessary to help them recover.
How To Cope With Subdrop
A few ways you can help your body recover and deal with the effects of subdrop include:
ACE which stands for aftercare, contact with your Dominant and expression of positive reinforcement by the Dominant.
Drink plenty of water or a sports drink like gatorade, which help replace fluids, salts and potassium in the body that you have lost during a scene.
Eat foods to replenish the nutrients in your body, while you might crave comfort foods and sugary treats, which will not only replace the sugar and energy you have lost, but obviously give you some sense of comfort, the effects will be only temporary and will only leave you craving more, which is not ideal. Instead try to eat whole grain bread, meat, cheese and vegetables, while avoiding any foods that are white in colour, although milk is also very helpful.
Take some vitamins, especially the B-complex group that include folic acid, vitamin B6 and B12.
Be active and interact with others, even if you do not feel like doing so, as subdrop often leaves a sub feeling ashamed, depressed, isolated, confused and alone, so being by yourself and trying to cope on your own will only make those feelings worse. Even spending time with your pet can be helpful. Most importantly stay in contact with your Dominant and try to talk to them about how you are feeling, so They can help you cope.
Exercise will help release more endorphins, lessening the effects of subdrop, which is partly caused by the release of endorphins during a scene and the subsequent 'come down’ that occurs afterwards.
Try keeping yourself occupied, with a hobby or other activity which will allow you to clear your head or express your feelings.
Aroma therapy, warm baths, meditation and listening to soothing music is also helpful.
Try to stay warm.
Treat and care for any injuries you might have sustained during the scene, such as scratches, bites, welts or sore bottoms. I am not a doctor and I could not possibly hope to cover every potential scenario in this article, but generally applying basic first aid techniques and vitamin E cream will help your skin recover more quickly.
Rest and get plenty of sleep.
Try to get yourself ready before a scene, by getting plenty of sleep, trying to stay focused and preparing yourself for the experience.
Additional Reading
You can find a useful article on the subject of subdrop here. While these are an excellent series of very extensive articles on aftercare and subdrop for submissives, Dominants, switches and also emergency self-administered aftercare.
Do you believe that a Dom can love his sub and vice versa? Or would this be wrong? When I say love, I mean romantically, emotionally, etc.
Believe the answer is yes with my full heart. If I didn’t I wouldn’t bother doing any of this stuff.
He can have a tummy and still be yummy
Comme Des Garçons F/W 2016
Just a friendly reminder
I know there’s a lot of really heavy and intense things on Tumblr that reflect a fantasy world of BDSM. There’s a lot of people out there that will tell you that you have to obey without question. That you have to endure somebody treating you like shit because you’re a submissive. That you have to be an object.
I want to remind you that isn’t true. Most of the captions written on Tumblr would never be said in real life. I guarantee you that these people don’t have the balls to walk up to somebody and say that to them out of the blue. They thrive off of anonymity. It allows them to forget their Humanity.
Trust me, I understand there’s a time and a place for humiliation and degradation. But no human being deserves to be treated like that 24/7. We are social creatures. Our emotional and mental health needs affirmation at times.
Basically I’m trying to remind you that submission is a gift. To those of you that are new, you don’t have to put up with being treated poorly simply because somebody tells you that’s the way it is. It isn’t that way.
People can dismiss me. They can call me overly romantic. But here’s the thing about being a dominant, you have to in some form care about the other person. Otherwise you’re just a fraud.
Couldn't have articulated better. I totally subscribe these words.
When you look to a crowd of people and you can immediately spot the sub boy there.
Sometimes the pleasure of holding him next to me is bigger than anything else
The Truth of Dominance and submission reified. What a picture! boys, get yourselves a good collar - there’s comfort in it.
Hello Sir, sorry to intrude but I just had to ask, what do you think about a boy trying to get in shape/lose weight? Ive been asking around and as if it wasn't bad enough being chubby and gay it seems that the attitude of every Dom ive met has just been "Fuck off, no one wants you" because I dont already have a great body. On several occasions ive made great friends online with Doms but as soon as they saw me I just wasn't good enough anymore. I feel like I should just give up on getting better
Body shaming is one of the biggest problems in our community. All kinds of bodies should be loved, respected and taken care for. First of all one should be ok with his own body and make sure the people with whom you have relationships with also knows this. If these people say this terrible things to you, be glad. This way you know them better and you are sure they are junk should stay away from their toxic comments. If in any moment someone think about saying these kind of comments to other person, even as a joke...think again for 2 sec...words matter and it's not ok to shame people. Our life is already so fucking hard, let's try make it a bit better, specially within our community. We should be safe havens for each other and not another cause of stress and anxiety.
I'm a boy from Russia who is in a few days 18 and my master is 24, I'm with him since I'm 14. I'm 1.81 cm high and my weight is 43kg because I'm anorexic. I want to be healthy, but my master wants, that I'm doing a 'Zero Calories Diet' and strave myself, I don't fckn want that, but he..Everytime when I eat, I get a punishment like spanking, he ignores me or calling me fat, ugly and worthless, not worth of love..He knows my suicide thoughts gets stronger and don't give a fuck. What should I do?
What you describe is a toxic and a terrible situation. You should stop this relationship as soon as possible. The other person is not a Master or a Dom, no one can do such a thing to a sub or a slave. Reading your words, it’s clear this is very far from a consensual relationship and it should stop. Please write me again if you need extra help, but without the anonymous, otherwise I can’t reply privately.
... as if I didn't realize it yet
TIPS FOR BEING A GOOD SUBMISSIVE MALE SPOUSE
1. Accept his authority at all times. Remember who the Man of the house is and honor that.
2. If the two of you should decide, be monogamous and honor that. Being unfaithful to your husband as a submissive male spouse is not forgivable. You need to be available physically, emotionally, and mentally at all times for him and not have affairs with other men.
3. If on the flip side your husband ever cheats on you, consider if there was anything that you did that drove him away from you and try to correct that. Remember that “men will be men” and if you aren’t giving it your all he may be tempted to cheat. Work with him to repair your marriage and correct your behavior.
4. Be a good servant for him. Anticipate his needs. His home is his castle and he is the King. Clean up after him and do the chores for your husband as needed. It’s helpful to learn cooking skills and other domestic habits as well.
5. Be aware of all of your husband’s favorite things to do and make time to do them with him. Put aside your own interests and hobbies so you can focus on your husband’s.
6. Make every effort to look good for him. Go to the gym, eat healthy, wear nice clothes, use good hygiene and grooming habits. Figure out what kind of clothes, underwear, and cologne he likes you to wear.
7. Remember that his body standards are much different than yours. Your husband’s sexiness as an alpha male comes from his power, confidence, and authority. His waist size or fashion sense doesn’t matter, but yours does! Remember that you as a submissive male are his play thing and adapt to this dynamic.
8. Take punishments accordingly. Sometimes he may get angry with you and get physical- shouting, face slaps, some rough housing here and there. Remember as an alpha he’s naturally more aggressive. This may hurt temporarily but focus on the positive! What can you do to make him less angry in the future?
9. Be the best little male slut you can be. Indulge in your husband’s fetishes with an open mind. Wear what he wants you to wear. Practice choking yourself and fucking yourself with dildos when he’s at work so you can take his cock like a good bitch.
10. Remember the best foundation for a healthy marriage is love and open communication. Your marriage should be romantic, flirty, and fun. Be affectionate towards him and he will continue to sweep you off your feet (just like the day he walked you down the aisle!).
