What would you be willing to give to add structure and balance to your life?
I often get messages from many wonderful boys around the world (and I do love every message I get), and these messages share a theme. Many boys will often say, “I hope I find a Dom like you” or “I wish you were my Dom.” I am humbled and honored by these statements. Though, I have been thinking more and more about it.
For some boys, submission is something that they recognize about themselves, but they have not had the opportunity to put it into practice for a variety of reasons. They naturally feel that their place is next to a Man to support, love, and follow his direction. Of course, if you know me, I romanticize the notion of Domination and Submission more than others, but that based on my personal beliefs.
For other boys, submission is a game. It exists only when a boy is horny and wants to fool around. This is not to say that true submissives are horny all of the time, but they do not have to be horny to accept the fact that they want to willing to submit to the graces of another Man.
This got me thinking, and I wanted to pose the question. Just how far are you willing to go to accept your submission.
Before I move forward, I need to lay out some caveats for readers who do not fully understand my style. When I ask the question, how far are you willing to go in relation to D/s activities, some might have their minds jump to some initial thoughts. I want to eliminate those now. When I pose this question, we are not having a discussion on whether you should be permanently locked in a cage, whether you should never leave the house and exist as a servant, whether you should be whipped daily, and so on as the notions of fantasy might promulgate these thoughts. There are rather impulsive, even “re” in some cases, images of this on tumblr, but it is not real life. It is important that we draw this distinction now.
If you were my boy. You would have a job, ambitions, dreams. We would have shared and individual friends. We would go to parties. We would see family. We would exist as a balanced relationship. I don’t want a lost sheep as my boy. Constant self doubt. Reclusiveness. Fear of exploration. These have no place with me.
Now allow us to go deeper. Returning to the question at hand. I want to know or more over, I want you to consider. How far you would let yourself go to achieve the dominance you desire?
Do you want a Man to overpower you and pound your tight boy hole into submission? Is this all you want? Do you just want a big strong man to fuck you hard and rough? I would dare say that you only have a flare for the kinky and your focus is solely on yourself. You are limited in your vision.
Which brings me to my first question, Would you be willing to go a month without intercourse to show your devotion? Two months? Now I know what you are thinking… “Doesn’t a Dom want to fuck? Doesn’t he want to use my body to release?” In a general sense, I suppose that is true. What if “he” spent that time teaching you. Improving your manners. Introducing you to foreplay elements. Do you have to be fucked to be happy?
If you can accept that there may be a period without penetration by cock, allow us to go further. Could you go a month without an orgasm? And I mean by willpower alone. There would be no chastity device. You would have the guidance, support, and care of a Man every step of the way. But you would have to spend a long period of time earning that privilege to release?
Now comes a question of true submission, can you accept the responsibility that your orgasms must always be approved by another? You may lay in bed every night and jerk off until you cum. You probably think little of it. But can you give a part of yourself away to another Man. Can you give him the key to your sexual release? In order to cum, you are devoid of the decision process.
When it comes to sex, there is one simple question. Can you accept the understanding that my sexual needs always come before yours? This may seem all too obvious in the nature of dominance, but for some, it is quite challenging. Sometimes you will be used hard. Sometimes you will be instructed to suck cock immediately upon entering the home. It doesn’t matter if you really want to do something, if it conflicts with the wishes of your Dom. Are you willing to accept that judgement of your Sir?
Notice how these questions have evolved towards sexual structure and what you are willing to do to show your respect. Are you willing to accept that sometimes your judgement can and should be overridden by your Man? You may think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with what you have done or said. This is not to say that you cannot communicate your thoughts and feelings, but will you accept that someone cares enough about you to teach you?
If you can accept that teaching, can you accept the steps that necessary to help you? I often discuss the sliding scale of dominance from the bedroom. And yes, I will agree that it will be the focal point of our sexual energy, but not necessarily the focal point of our relationship. I believe very strongly in kindness to all people. If I were to catch you being purposefully unkind, especially in the manner that young gay boys like to gossip and judge, can you accept the consequences of your behavior? Can you accept that I will apply corrective action? I want you to be better than that. I want you to be the best you can be.
As we work towards life balance, there will always be things that are distinctively “you.” Things that should not change, perhaps evolve, but not change just because. Nevertheless, can you accept that there will be aesthetic changes and guidelines to follow because I prefer it? To this point, can you accept that I do not ever want you to wear boxers? I want you in briefs (or a jock or a thong on special occasions). It doesn’t matter if I wear boxers. I ask it of you that you comply with a direction. Can you accept that there will be certain standards laid out for you?
There are so many more questions that can be asked, but I would close this consideration with general question. Can you allow yourself to become so much more than you are? If you limit yourself to the moment, you cannot grow. Are you willing to try new things? Say for instance, I want you to try out the use of clothes pins and you are not accustomed to them. Will you immediately object or would you at least try it and share your thoughts afterward.
I must conclude with a simple question. If you are to be my boy, can you accept a kiss from me? If I cannot kiss you, you can never be mine.
This post poses some questions to consider. They do not have to relate to me specifically. They can be general questions to ask yourself. But the thesis is still the same. How far are you willing to go?