In this week’s Partners in Crime podcast, we are joined by a special guest to discuss another Law & Order Criminal Intent classic The Pilgrim

shark vs the universe
Today's Document

roma★

JBB: An Artblog!

#extradirty
sheepfilms
Not today Justin
will byers stan first human second
tumblr dot com
Cosmic Funnies

Janaina Medeiros
$LAYYYTER
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda

No title available

No title available

⁂
DEAR READER
AnasAbdin
No title available
seen from United States

seen from France
seen from Spain

seen from United States

seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Sweden

seen from Saudi Arabia
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from China

seen from United Kingdom

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from France
seen from Finland
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
@donsparrow
In this week’s Partners in Crime podcast, we are joined by a special guest to discuss another Law & Order Criminal Intent classic The Pilgrim
@donsparrow
Superman: The Man of Steel #39 (December 1994)
"Dead Again!," Part 5! After ruling out the Eradicator, Superman thinks he's figured out the only person who could possibly have put a fake corpse in his tomb to convince everyone he's an impostor: Lex Luthor! Well, him or Brainiac, and Lex is closer (at the S.T.A.R. Labs facility where they've kept him since he turned into a Cryptkeeper-looking invalid), so Superman decides he'll check on him first.
Meanwhile, over the past issues we've seen Superman's friends, fiancé, and even his parents have their doubts about his identity, but there's one person who will never doubt him: Superman's Little Pal, Keith the Unlucky Orphan. (Actually, we haven't seen Superman's Large Pal, Jimmy Olsen doubt him either, but Jimmy's opinion doesn't count.) Keith even gets into a fight with another kid who says the real Superman is dead and dares Keith to prove he isn't. While this happens, a frail figure watches Keith and is glad that he's "doin' good."
(I don't know if "getting punched under the rain" counts as "doin' good," but okay.)
At S.T.A.R., everyone's on edge because the guy they hired to build a safer cell for Conduit after he broke out and killed a bunch of guards hasn't delivered yet. Some guards spot someone sneaking around the lab, assume it must be Conduit, and shoot him to hell -- but it's not Conduit, it's Keith! Good thing Superman happened to be coming by to check on Lex, or this issue would turn out even sadder than it already does.
Keith says he wanted to sneak into the lab to prove that the Superman corpse they're studying there is a fake. Awww. I don't think he has the scientific expertise to make that happen, but it's a nice thought. At least his little stunt attracts the press and gives some good publicity to Superman (who kinda needs it after the asshole he's been lately) and Keith himself, making it more likely that he'll be adopted. Keith, however, doesn't wanna be adopted, since he still thinks his mom will come back for him after all these years. Dream on, little buddy.
Anyway, the folks at S.T.A.R. agree to let Superman see Lex if he finishes those tests he's been putting off over the past couple of issues (because he's afraid they might prove he's not the real Superman). Superman lets Professor Hamilton run the damn tests, and Hambone lets him know as politely as possible that he's firmly in #TeamCorpse.
Back to Keith (this is a "Keith issue," if you hadn't noticed), he's still being followed by that frail figure who watches him from afar. Keith sees the figure collapse and goes over to help her -- only to find out that it's his mom. She's been alive all along, which means Keith the Unlucky Orphan was never really an orphan... but might be soon, because she's looking pretty bad. Keith's mom is taken to a hospital, where she explains that she left him because she's got AIDS and she wanted him to be adopted by some nice, non-immunodeficient family.
As it happens, Alice White, who's been palling around with Keith since she started volunteering at the orphanage, wants to adopt him and tries to convince her husband Perry to do it. This is a big ask, since 1) they're super old and 2) they already had a kid and kinda botched that one (Lex Luthor's genes probably didn't help)...
...but Perry eventually says yes. The Whites tell Keith about their decision as they're driving him to the hospital, and at first he's enthusiastic (they'll let him keep his cat Tiger, unlike his former foster parents... maybe they thought it was an actual tiger?), but he suddenly turns sullen, says he can't abandon his mom, and runs out of the car to go see her. Turns out Keith's mom is close to dying, but during her last moments, she gives Alice her blessings and signs some papers to turn her into Keith's legal guardian.
Meanwhile, Superman's been doing Superman stuff (more on that in Don Sparrow's section below), so he's too late to console Keith when his mom dies, but he's glad to see the Whites are there for the kid like the Kents always were for him. Sniff.
Back to the plot of this storyline: the lab results are in, and Hamilton tells Superman that he found a discrepancy... in his readings. As in, he's not the real Superman. Hamilton also lets him ("who... whoever you are") finally see Luthor, which makes it clear that Lex is in no position to pull off any evil schemes. Hell, he can't even perform basic bodily functions on his own.
Superman rushes out and, as he yells "I'M SUPERMAN!" from S.T.A.R.'s rooftop, he thinks to himself that if Luthor isn't manipulating him, then there's only one possibility left: Brainiac!
NEXT: THE NEW GODS! OH, AND BRAINIAC!
Character-Watch:
And so Keith the Unlucky Orphan, who was never really an orphan, is now officially Keith White. As we've mentioned before, Keith will continue appearing but won't really have a running storyline anymore, and eventually he just sorta falls off the face of the Earth(s). According to the DC wiki, he was last seen in a short story from Superman 80-Page Giant 2011 (reprinted in the Superman's Pal's Jimmy Olsen's Boss, Perry White special in 2022) where Perry tells Wildcat of the Justice Society that Keith, now grown up, is leaving Metropolis.
(Wildcat: "Yeah, well, my kid's a talking cat, for some reason.)
But the DC wiki is wrong, because Keith also shows up in last year's Action #1075, in a story (drawn by Jon Bogdanove and Norm Rapmund!) where Perry wins Metropolis' mayoral election and Keith is there with Alice for the celebration. It doesn't look like this version of Keith appears in other comics, so maybe Bog slipped him in?
(Is it me or is Alice is looking very Louise Simonson-esque?)
Plotline-Watch:
This concludes the looooong storyline about Keith's mom, first mentioned just over two years ago in Man of Steel #16, when Keith mistook an Underworld mutant for her. They did have kinda similar hair, as it turns out. This is what led Keith into the Underworld sewers during the "Doomsday!" storyline, which means there are millions and millions of casual comic book readers out there who knew Keith was looking for his mom but never read the end of the storyline. Hope they DuckDuckGo it one day and come across this post.
I like how Superman says "Lex Luthor tried to clone me once that we know of" to prevent Mike Carlin's office from being flooded with letters saying that, actually, there were two Bizarros. Yep, but only the second one was firmly linked to Lex -- at the time, Superman saw the first one as kind of an inexplicable thing that happened to him one day. (Should have called him Inexplicablo.)
The last time we saw Lex in Action #701, he was completely paralyzed but able to think (about murdering Superman, to be more specific), but now we're told that he has no brain activity. He was also very thin but not, like, practically a skeleton. What are they feeding him at S.T.A.R.? Are they feeding him at S.T.A.R.? Did they forget? To be fair, they have a lot going on there these days.
Speaking of which, there's a funny scene where Conduit, from his temporary cell, spooks a guard at S.T.A.R. by just saying "I'm free!," causing the guard to shoot his big '90s laser gun at nothing. The guy they hired to make a new cell, Carl Draper, says he hasn't finished it because he ran into "a setback," which I'm guessing means he blew most of the budget fighting Superman as Deathtrap. (Is it me or is he looking very David Copperfield-esque?)
Shout Outs-Watch:
Definitely not impostor shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode! NOTE: If you subscribe, please check your junk mail for the activation email! I will continue saying this until Jas, Tonio, and l34fd get activated, dang it.
And now, as promised: the great Don Sparrow's also great section!
Art-Watch: Adventures of Superman #425 (February 1987)
Our post for Adventures #425, the classic "Professor Hamilton tries to blow up a prostitute" issue, has been updated with more pics, a plot summary that isn’t like five words long, and best of all, all-new Art-Watch comments from Don Sparrow. Check it out here!
Action Comics #704 (November 1994)
"DEAD AGAIN!," Part 4! Superman vs. the Eradicator! With the Outsiders mostly just sorta standing around, commentating on the fight but staying out of it. That's why they're called the Outsiders.
We start with Superman rather uncharacteristically shouting "I'M SUPERMAN!" at some Vegas cops because they said "Who goes there?" Of course, it isn't uncharacteristic at all if he isn't Superman but some impostor and the real Superman is still dead, as Professor Hamilton suggested in the previous part of this storyline.
(Sure, buddy, suuuuuuuuurrre...)
Speaking of impostors, Superman is in Vegas to look for one of the Super-pretenders from the "Reign of the Supermen" storyline, the Eradicator, who was last seen hanging out with the Outsiders around here. Granted, this isn't the exact same Eradicator who died in that saga (long story), but he's close enough that Superman thinks he might have something to do with his latest death-related predicament. The cops tell him there are two groups of Outsiders these days, as seen in the latest issues of their series, so they point him in the direction of the one with the Eradicator in it, and Superman leaves without even saying thanks. Again: not very Superman-like...
So, Superman tracks down the Eradicator and his Outsiders to their new hideout: an abandoned government facility at Area 51, which the Eradicator knew about due to his old job as a xenobiologist at S.T.A.R. Labs. Superman and the Eradicator immediately start beating the crap out of each other while the Outsiders debate whether they should help their teammate or not, with the consensus being "meh."
The Eradicator causes a huge explosion and thinks that took care of Superman, because he's never read a Superman comic before -- but no, that just pissed him off even more. Superman is so angry, in fact, that he even tortures the Eradicator by knocking off his protective eyewear and shooting heat vision right at his eyes ("I-It... tickles!" the Eradicator says, which must have sounded very funny in his Clint Eastwood-esque growl).
With the Eradicator defeated, Superman finally gets to the point and asks him about the body that was found in his tomb. The Eradicator is like "THAT'S what this is about?!" and points out that putting fake corpses in abandoned tombs to mess with people's minds isn't exactly his style -- he's more the "shoot lasers at your face" type. Superman realizes the Eradicator is right and stands down... and it's only then that the Outsiders decide to join the fight.
But Superman's had enough punching for the day and just leaves, as the Outsiders celebrate that they "drove off Superman!" Meanwhile, as he flies back to Metropolis, Superman laments having let his emotions get the best of him -- it was silly of him to convince himself the Eradicator was behind his problems without any evidence. In unrelated news, now he knows for sure who's behind his problems: someone who's a master manipulator... and fond of cruelty... and currently in a vegetative state... LEX LUTHOR!
CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
There's a scene in Smallville where we see that Pa Kent is having doubts about Clark being Clark, and of course Ma shuts him down -- but we're given the impression that it's more because she's worried about him having another heart attack than because she's totally sure that Clark is in fact Clark.
Even Lois Lane isn't sure about Clark, to the point that she's having trouble sleeping and forgets to use the spell-check program at work, causing a crisis in the Daily Planet proofreading department ("There's only one 'R' in 'entrails,'" Ron Troupe tells her). At least her cat Elroy seems in a good mood, probably because he thinks Clark is dead again and he always hated that guy.
Wait, so the last issue of Outsiders took place in Vegas? Why were Maggie Sawyer and the rest of the Metropolis SCU there? US geography isn't my expertise, but if Metropolis is supposed to be around New York, isn't Vegas a little out of the way? Maybe she was investigating the space lasers from the SCU miniseries and mistook the Luxor Sky Beam for one? Let's go with that.
The last things the Eradicator says in this issue are "Another few seconds and I would have had [Superman]" (sure, buddy, suuuuuuuuurrre...) and "Nonetheless...*" with the asterisk telling us that the sentence will continue in Outsiders #13. This Outsiders series was never published in South America (despite an Argentinian publisher once promising it), so I've wondered about that sentence for about 30 years. We'll find out on the next Super-Titles Round Up.
Shout Outs-Watch:
Characteristic shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode! NOTE: If you subscribe, please check your junk mail for the activation email!
You know who's completely in-character? Don Sparrow, and we're all winners for it, because here's Don's section:
Superman #94 (November 1994)
"Peer Pressure," clima-- I mean, "DEAD AGAIN!," part 2! This is a weird issue because it's more about Superman fighting Conduit (the antagonist of the supposedly concluded "Peer Pressure" storyline) than dealing with the mysterious Superman-shaped corpse that was found in his former tomb (the whole point of "DEAD AGAIN!"), but who cares what the banner on the cover says when we get another classic Jurgens/Breeding slugfest issue?! Me. I do. But I'll survive.
In Man of Steel #38, Conduit springs himself out of jail (well, S.T.A.R. Labs) and Superman puts the whole "worrying about his corpse doppelganger" thing on hold to go recapture him. The fight wasn't going too well for Superman when we last saw him, what with Conduit being able to shoot kryptonite blasts and all, but it looks like being drawn by Jurgens/Breeding has revitalized him.
However, those kryptonite blasts did weaken Superman, which is why that knuckle sandwich up there only made Conduit fall back instead of sending his head flying all the way to Gotham. Realizing this, Conduit is able to wrap Superman up in those cables of his with little resistance, which means Clark will now have to rely on his intelligence to get out of this one. His brilliant plan? Getting the cables caught up on a passing train, which comically sends Kenny flying away as they unravel.
This gives Superman time to regroup and hit Conduit with "guerilla tactics" (as in, hiding to ambush him, not raiding his supply centers with child soldiers). He also figures out he can just cut off Conduit's cables by spinning a metal rod as they're coming to grab him, which is apparently quite painful because "those cables are a part of [him]!" Ouch. Also, eww.
That still leaves Conduit's kryptonite blasts, but Superman takes care of those doing something he probably should have done issues ago: covering Conduit in lead, a.k.a. kryptonite's kryptonite.
(If you ever wondered if the sound of lead melting is "BLORTCH" or "SHLOOP," now you know: it's both.)
Unfortunately, Superman gets a little carried away now that he can finally land a decent blow on Conduit and sends him flying against those train tracks from earlier. While Superman saves a train full of people from Superman's carelessness, Conduit escapes, saying he's got a job to finish. Meaning: kill Clark Kent.
As you might have guessed, Clark isn't home right now, but Lois Lane is, and she's got a visitor. Remember that phone call Superman made before flying off to fight Conduit last issue? Turns out he invited Mr. Braverman, Conduit's dad, to visit him in Metropolis (via supersonic jet, apparently, since he's already there). I guess Superman expected Kenny to melt down and repent upon seeing his dad, but he just gets angrier and decides to kill him too. Plus Lois, while at it.
Superman comes home right in time to prevent that. Conduit doesn't even fight him this time, since he's powerless without his krypto-stench, but he promises Superman that one day he'll uncover his secrets, whatever they might be. By the end of "Peer Pressure," Conduit hated Superman as much as Clark Kent. Now he seems to hate him more. (And no, it still hasn't occurred to him that both of the dudes he obsessively hates have the exact same face. That vibrating face trick must work really well, even up close.)
Superman leaves Conduit back in S.T.A.R., and this time, they promise they won't let him get free! Probably! While he's at S.T.A.R., Superman remembers what this storyline is supposed to be about and decides to visit Professor Hamilton -- right at the very moment that he finishes analyzing that Superman corpse and proves "conclusively" that it's "definitely the real Superman." Say whaaaaaa
TO BE CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
A scientist at S.T.A.R. tells Superman that they've called a "specialist by the name of Draper" to build a better jail for Conduit. A master jail, you might say. (If you don't know WTF I'm talking about, you'll find out next issue.)
Mr. Braverman gets off pretty easily in this issue. Dude bullied a kid into insanity! And he's still going "Boy, that Clark Kent is so swell, unlike my garbage son!" while Kenny is within earshot. I had vague memories of him wondering how Kenny turned out like that and Clark going "How do you THINK?" but I guess that must have been some other awful supervillain parent.
I don't know if this was intended, but I like to think that Kenny was able to see through Clark's "bravado" (pretending he wasn't weakened by the kryptonite) because he grew up competing against him, even if he didn't consciously realize that's who he was fighting. He's gotta know all of Clark's tells and such. That's the main thing that sets Conduit apart from other Superman villains, more so than the radiation or the creepy metal appendages.
Is that Mitch, the no-longer-Superman-hating teen from "Death of Superman," in the train that Superman endangers/saves? Probably not, but I'm gonna tag this post "Mitch" anyway.
It's a nice touch that Corpse Superman wears a lighter shade of blue, like Superman did before "Death of Superman," as opposed to the darker shade we've seen during the last couple of years. This must mean he's definitely the real Superman, 100%, no cheap cop outs!
Shout Outs-Watch:
And we won't cop out from thanking our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! The latest supporter-only article was about an episode of the 1988 Superman cartoon that was written by Marv Wolfman, and if you think that means it's less silly than usual, please look at this short clip:
Join them (and get extra articles like that) via Patreon or our newsletter’s "pay what you want" mode! NOTE: If you subscribe, please check your junk mail for the activation email!
And now: it's Don Sparrow time!
Terence Stamp by Don Sparrow
Some artwork of the recently departed Terence Stamp as General Zod by @donsparrow. Don said on BlueSky: "Sad to hear about the passing of the great Terence Stamp. Certainly shaped my understanding of on-screen villainy, and had such a rich career even beyond the Donner Superman films I love so much. With all the great Superman actors I’ve gotten to meet, I’m bummed I’ll never meet him."
And speaking of villainy, in case you missed it (and you probably did, because we posted it at a weird time), this week we dropped a new post about Superman #0, which reveals the shocking identity of Conduit! (Okay, maybe not so shocking.) Click through to see it, even if just to kneel before that badass Jurgens/Breeding cover.
Superman #0 (October 1994)
"Peer Pressure," Part 2! Note: this issue includes no instances of Superman standing on smoldering ruins with his eyes glowing red while thunderbolts go off behind him. But, damn, that's a cool cover. We're not huge fans of the "Superman with eyes glowing red" trend in this blog, but gotta give this one a pass.
The actual plot follows the events of Man of Steel #0, in which Clark Kent survives several suspicious "accidents" while a bad guy with cables all over his body curses his stupid luck. This issue starts with the cable guy sneaking into a building to plant a bomb, electrocuting a cop to death in the process, and then finally revealing his name: not The Cable Guy (missed opportunity), but Conduit. Now you know whose action figure to ask for, kids!
(I think there's some evidence of murder: a dead guy on the floor.)
Meanwhile, Lois Lane is helping Clark Kent move back into his apartment, which he'd lost back when everyone thought he was dead at the same time as Superman. Lois sees some old trophies, which triggers a flashback about Clark beating his childhood buddy Kenny Braverman during a track race. Not only does poor Kenny get some passive-aggressive digs from his Clark Kent-adoring dad, but Lana Lang rejects his invitation to go to the prom together because she'd rather salivate over Clark. In the present, Clark says he and Kenny "never got along as well" after that, for some reason. Not sure why we're hearing about all this in the middle of a story about a mystery villain who wants to kill Clark, but okay.
Later, Lois and Clark attend this years' edition of the Zenith Award for Integrity in Journalism, best known as the Baldy Awards. There, Clark gets a special award for his coverage of that time time went all wonky, as well as for being a swell guy everyone loves. Clark is giving his acceptance speech when the podium explodes -- luckily, Superman happened to be in the area and quickly moved Clark out of the way. So quickly that no one saw it happen.
(Guess this is the moment the cover is meant to represent, with some artistic liberties.)
Conduit isn't sure if the bomb got Clark, so he sends his version of Lex Luthor's Lex-Men (SPOILERS: Braver-Men?) to make sure he's dead. Superman stops the goons from torching the whole place, and just as he's trying to interrogate them about who their boss is, Conduit activates the obligatory goon brain-frying device in their helmets. Superman rushes them to the hospital even though goon brain-frying devices never fail, but this gives Jurgens and Breeding an excuse to draw this cool page:
After the goons die, Clark, who has gone through four murder attempts in this storyline so far, starts thinking that maybe someone is trying to kill him. He's like "nah, I'm just being paranoid"... until he sees that someone has pinned a high school photo of him to his apartment door with a knife. Wait, no... that's clearly Superman's photo. Never mind, false alarm!
"MY FAVORITE DOOR!"
We see another flashback, this time showing Kenny Braverman coming home after Clark got elected Prom King and getting chewed out by his dad (who seems weirdly invested in teenage popularity contests). Kenny goes to his room, pulls out a gun, and for a second it looks like he's gonna use it on himself, but then he points it at a photo of Clark taped to his wall. That same photo above. Kenny says that one day he'll get rid of Clark. In the present, Conduit finally removes his mask and we see that this entire time, he's always been... *gasp*
Kenny Braverman! (You thought I was gonna say freakin' Psi-Phon and Dreadnaught, didn't you?) Who still thinks he can be Prom King if he kills Clark, apparently. You can do it, Kenny. I'd vote for you.
CONTINUED!
Plotline-Watch:
As we'll find out, Kenny loves stabbing doors. Doors are his most hated thing in the universe after Clark Kent, presumably because he kept coming in second to a door during sports competitions in college.
We learn in this issue that Clark owns a Captain Action action figure, that superhero whose entire purpose was getting dressed up as other, cooler superheroes like Batman, Spider-Man, and Superman himself. Between Marvel's characters being off-limits and DC's not existing yet, this toy must have been pretty lame in this universe. I bet young Clark had to dress him up as, like, Walter Cronkite. Maybe that's how he got into journalism!
While talking about how well did at sports in school, Clark makes sure to mention that his powers hadn't developed yet, so it was all fair. Don Sparrow ain't buying it: "The timeline is a bit hazy on the development of Clark’s powers, though I suppose these little inconsistencies could be attributed to the Zero Hour reset of time? In the first issue of Byrne's Man of Steel miniseries, a clearly school-aged Clark is shown casually lifting a truck and surviving a trampling by a bull (which, if average, would weigh 2400 lbs). Later as he’s either 15 or 16, in Adventures #474, Clark survives a collision with a semi-truck, and says he “didn’t even feel it”. All this to say: other than a timeline reset, I don’t fully buy that the ability to lift trucks and withstand head on car crashes didn’t give Clark an advantage on the gridiron, despite his assertion to the contrary."
As Cat Grant presents Clark's award, she mentions that the Zenith is "affectionately referred to" as the Baldy. Uh, affectionately... towards who? The bald guy who funded the awards and who recently tried to destroy the city? The cute "Baldies" name made more sense when everyone thought Lex was a harmless philanthropist. I think they should rename them to honor Metropolis' only ethical rich guy and true benefactor: The Bibbos.
SIX-FIFTY: Lois and Clark take a cab to the Baldy Awards, and the ride is $7.50, up from $7.00 around the time of the last awards, and of course $6.50 for a long time. Maybe Luthor was the one actually keeping the city's economy together.
In Man of Steel #0, we met Clark's neighbor who also works as a door lady in their building, but this issue shows a different doorman (who has appeared before, but I don't think we've ever gotten a name). Will each of the #0 issues feature a different door person, like the four Supermen in "Reign"? Hopefully one of them is Frank, Clark's Pre-Crisis doorman, who our pal Patrick Ryall has written about in his list of 28 Black Superman Characters.
That last shot with the cables creepily covering Kenny's face always reminded me of that scene in Superman III. You know the one. And now that I've seen that clip again, I have to go hide under my parents' bed.
Shout Outs-Watch:
Well-deserved Bibbo Awards to OUR benefactors, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, Dave Blosser, and Bryan! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.
And ten Bibbos for Don Sparrow, who sent me his section almost two weeks ago, only for me to get bogged down by other stuff. Here it is:
Superman: The Man of Steel #0 (October 1994)
"Peer Pressure," Part 1! ZERO MONTH IS HERE! After the universe-destroying and universe-rebirthing events of Zero Hour, every DCU series gets a #0 issue where we go back to square, uh, zero and recap the character's origin. In Superman's case, that means we get to see poor, doomed Jor-El and Lara again... with all-new dialogue, compared to 1986's The Man of Steel #1. (No more "Jor-El declaring his love as the world explodes," sadly.)
The rest of Superman's origin unfolds pretty much as we know it, with one new addition: we see that Ma and Pa Kent's neighbors, Mr. and Mrs. Braverman, happened to be giving birth to their son on a pickup truck in the middle of the road right when Kal-El's baby rocket crash landed on the Kent farm. The Kents' dialogue has also been changed by Hal Jordan's meddling with the timeline (Pa no longer says the classic line "They's bin sendin' dogs and monkeys up into orbit"), but at least this panel survived the chronal carnage:
(RIP Ma Kent's skirt.)
With the mildly retconned origin out of the way, we cut to the present, where Superman is dealing with some gangsters shooting each other with Toastmasters in Metropolis -- which is looking pretty un-destroyed for a city that got bombed to hell a few months ago. We get an explanation in the next scene, when Superman reunites with Lois Lane and he mentions that, after Zero Hour, all of Earth's heroes got together and rebuilt the city in record time. Plus, they go out of their way to mention that "Death of Superman" didn't get retconned -- your Superman #75 copy is still worth big bucks, kids!
As Lois and Clark deign themselves to get to work at the rebuilt Daily Planet offices, they see that someone left Clark an envelope containing a photo of his fifth shared birthday with little Kenny Braverman (you know, the pickup truck baby), but little Clarkie's face has been cut off. Clark thinks it's "probably nothing" -- but, right on the next page, some debris happens to fall on them as they're walking outside the Planet and would have crushed them if it wasn't for Clark's quick reflexes.
Clark finds another creepily vandalized photo waiting for him in his building's mailbox. This one shows Clarkie (sans head) at a school play where he got to kiss Lil' Lana Lang because Kenny, who was supposed to do the smooching, was sick that day. As Lois and Clark look at the photo, the building's elevator has a malfunction they wouldn't have survived if one of them wasn't able to fly. Right after each strange accident, we see a mysterious helmeted character who seems to know Clark and hates his guts, for some reason.
Clark is starting to get the impression that someone is trying to kill him. He doesn't have long to dwell on that before another emergency comes up: someone has set fire to the orphanage where Keith the Unlucky Orphan lives (see why I call him Keith the Unlucky Orphan?). It turns out the mysterious villain started the fire in order to attract Clark, who happens to be the one reporter in town not covering this "Superman saves orphans" story. However, Ron Troupe picked this day to crib Clark's "glasses and fedora" look, causing the villain to mistake him for his target. At least we know that this particular bad guy isn't racist, since he apparently doesn't see race.
(To be fair, everyone looks the same race under the pink glow of an orphanage fire.)
This time, the photo arrives after the attack, this one showing Kenny and Clark as Boy Scouts with Kenny's dad as their Scoutmaster. Clark remembers that Kenny somehow caused a fire that time and got chewed out by his dad, while Clarkie got hailed as a hero for putting it out with sand. Clark doesn't see much significance in that jolly childhood memory, but Lois wonders: "What if this is someone letting you know -- they set fire to the orphanage on purpose?" Clark should have handed her all his Pulitzers right then.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Character-Watch:
First appearance of Superman's Childhood Classmate, Kenny Braverman, who cinephiles will no doubt recognize as that bully kid from Zack Snyder's Man of Steel (and also one episode of Superman: The Animated Series, according to Wikipedia). Not sure what Kenny did to deserve that depiction, since he seems like a perfectly nice young kid in this issue. Oh, and guess this is also the first appearance of that mystery villain trying to kill Clark, even though we all know who that is... you've gone too far this time, Jeb!
Plotline-Watch:
A significant (to me) retcon in this issue is that Jor-El and Lara no longer say the Kryptonian Death Chant right before getting blown to krypto-pieces, as established during the "Exile in Space" and reaffirmed in the Eradicator saga. That's a shame; I liked that morbid little bit of Kryptonian culture.
On the other hand, I'm pleased that the freak storm that trapped the Kents in their farm for months, conveniently giving them an excuse for suddenly showing up with a baby, is still part of the continuity (and presumably still orchestrated by Manhunter robots, as revealed in the Millennium crossover). Hey, wait a minute, shouldn't Clark's official birthday be months after Kenny Braverman's, then? Did Kenny let Clark celebrate their birthday together because "no one knew" the exact date for Clark's, due to the storm? Such a good friend.
I'm not totally sure why Lois mentions a "fight with Satanus" when Clark asks if she remembers Metropolis' destruction. Is she talking about the "Blaze/Satanus War" storyline? I do remember a building getting turned into a portal to Hell there, but the level of destruction was still way lower than in other storylines like "Panic in the Sky!" or, you know, "Doomsday!" (if it has an exclamation mark at the end, you know Metropolis is getting fucked up).
The full tale of Metropolis' reconstruction will be told in a future Adventures issue, because I guess they didn't want new readers to have to deal with all that. Curiously, Lord Satanus will be involved in that flashback story, but he usually acts from the shadows so I don't think Lois could be talking about that. Maybe the writers intended to retroactively slip another Satanus story into the continuity post-Zero Hour, but ended up settling for making him a part of that "rebuilding Metropolis" issue?
Based on her facial expression, Lois doesn't approve of the decision to cast Lana Lang as Snow White. Next thing you know, she's gonna start making YouTube videos about why the Snow White actress is DESTROYING Disney and make hating this one poor girl the main part of her personality.
Shout Outs-Watch:
Mildly retconned shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris "Ace" Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, Dave Blosser, and a huge welcome to Bryan! (The retcon is that we added him to the list.) Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter's "pay what you want" mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.
Also shout out to the winner of our latest art giveaway, as decreed by the random number generator gods: Murray Qualie, via the newsletter! We'll be in contact shortly about getting you that fine Don Sparrow art.
And speaking of Don, here's his take on the art in this issue, including that one panel of Superman FURIOUSLY chopping onions:
Don Sparrow's Neal Adams' Batman (and GIVEAWAY!)
The great @donsparrow says: A little overdue, but here's the artwork for the Neal Adams Batman, which won the Zero Hour poll. I tried to blend the Neal Adams colours and pose (had to have a hand reaching out!) with what passes for my "style".
If you like Don's style (no quote marks, dude's a pro) check out his latest book, Does Your Mother Know?: A Comic Book Confessional. And if you REALLY like Don's style and/or Batman and/or owning cool shit in general, we're giving away the original ink art of the Bat-drawing above to one subscriber of our newsletter or our Patreon, free or paid! Just leave a comment saying you want in under this post, wherever you're reading it, and you'll be entered into the draw. (Paid subscribers will be entered twice, because that's just how democracy works.)
PS: We finished our Zero Hour coverage, ICYMI! Check out the last post here or the entire saga here.
Zero Hour: Crisis in Time #0 (September 1994)
At last, our eternal September comes to a close with the climax of the Zero Hour event, and it's... a whole bunch of nothing. You know, because Hal "Not Green Lantern" Jordan destroyed the universe last issue and all. But then, out of the nothingness, a new universe starts emerging as Hal explains how the destruction of Coast City and his former bosses' refusal to let him recreate it led him to decide that the universe is all wrong and should be restarted from scratch. So that's what's he's doing. Talk about being the change you want to see in the world/universe.
Of course, not all of the heroes present appreciate the fact that Hal just murdered billions of people to create his "better world" -- or "worlds," since he floats the idea of giving the Justice Society their own where they can stay forever young. Hal also promises the alternate reality characters present, like Batgirl and Alpha Centurion, that they can have their own worlds restored instead of having to fade away at the end of the crossover like it usually happens.
What Hal doesn't know is that Waverider managed to pull a select group of heroes out of the timestream right before the old universe was erased, including Superman, Kyle "Yes Green Lantern" Rayner, Damage (who doesn't know why he's there, since he's just a kid who makes stuff explode), and Green Arrow (who doesn't want to be there, since he hates "this cosmic stuff"). The heroes try to stop Hal and end up having to fight not just his lackey Extant but also Alpha Centurion and Batgirl, who only wants to live.
(Glad to see Centurion is sticking by his "100" theme even in this time of great stress.)
Unsurprisingly, the side with the guy powerful enough to destroy an entire universe is winning the fight. Hal's practically a god! But not the God, which means that there's still one DCU character capable of kicking his ass: The Spectre, who also survived the destruction of the universe because he's The Spectre. While the royally pissed-off Speccy keeps Hal occupied, Waverider instructs the heroes to absorb the energy of the nascent universe and then channel it into Damage. Hal figures out what Waverider is planning to do and tries to kill Damage, but Batgirl switches sides again to save the kid, at the cost of her own life....
...which is particularly tragic because it looked like Hal was gonna miss.
Green Arrow, who had bonded with Batgirl even when they were on different sides, shoots an arrow straight into Hal's chest as Kyle holds him down, so I guess that's why Waverider brought those two along. The Spectre says "only one task remains" and pumps even more energy into Damage, who generates the mother of all explosions -- as in, the actual Big Bang. And that's why Waverider brought him along.
Without Hal manipulating events, the universe is recreated as it had been before, more or less. The heroes (plus Extant, but he bails pretty soon) watch from outside the timestream as history unfolds until the nanosecond right before Hal destroyed the universe, at which point Waverider slips all of them back into their present... with some slight differences, like Guy Gardner suddenly sporting some funky body paint instead of his Warrior armor.
Everyone who died from holes in reality and such is alive again, but we're told that others are still dead, like Wally West (spoilers: no he isn't), Hal and Kyle (spoilers: no they aren't), or the JSA's Hourman and the Atom (spoilers: okay, yes they are... improbably, to this day). The alternate reality characters, like Alpha Centurion, have faded away as customary. On the other hand, amid all that death, Power Girl finally gave birth to a little boy, who I'm sure will grow up to be hugely relevant to the DC Universe and not end up being forgotten within two years!
The crossover ends with Green Arrow shaking his fist at the heavens about what happened to his best friend, the Linear Men exploring the mysteries of this new/old universe, and an intriguing shot of a female Time Trapper... which apparently never paid off. (All I can find is that a female Trapper was teased in the new continuity but never actually appeared, and now The Time Trapper is Doomsday?!)
This re-read hasn't diminished my impression that this series kicks ass. My one big complaint is that they kinda fumbled Extant, a tragic figure reduced to a pretty one-dimensional villain. He's a hero who was driven mad by watching his own future self killing his beloved partner, Dove. It would have been cool if this last issue had revealed that his motivation was bringing Dove back to life and untangling that whole time loop mess, even if it meant killing billions (as opposed to "he wanted a world to rule"). Then again, this is a pretty packed series, so it's possible Dan Jurgens wanted to do something like that and simply didn't have space. Or time.
But we always have time for more commentary from Don Sparrow, so keep on reading!
163
View On WordPress
Action Comics #703 (September 1994)
The final Zero Hour crossover! Superman visits an alternate timeline where he did what babies would normally do if put on a rocket and sent to another planet! You know, die.
We start with Metropolis being attacked by a version of Starro the Conqueror who's visiting from a timeline where he defeated the Justice League of America during their first appearance. Superman takes the giant starfish monster down within a couple of pages, making the JLA look like chumps since it took them a whole issue to do the same thing (or not do it, in this case).
After that, Clark Kent stops by the Daily Planet's temporary offices (since their actual offices got blown up by missiles) to check in on the gang, and everything seems pretty normal... until Perry White disappears in front of everyone. Clark realizes old people are getting Marty McFly'd because the time crisis is erasing the decades they were born in. And who else does he know who's pretty old...?
(I'm not sure if Pa should feel insulted or flattered.)
Superman flies faster than he's ever flown to Smallville (is this the start of that trope?), but once he gets there, reality shifts around him again, and instead of Ma and Pa Kent, he meets... Ma and Pa Kent, but young. He's now in a world where time moves slower and it's still the '40s, which, on the upside, means he's got more time to save his Ma and Pa. The Young Kents think this circus strongman must be a goon sent by someone they refer to as "the doc" and decide to chain him up. Normally, this wouldn't be much of a problem for Superman -- if the metal box where Past Pa keeps his chains didn't happen to also contain some kryptonite. How did it get there? Past Ma helpfully explains while her son from another reality agonizes.
In this timeline, the Kents were on a weekend trip to Kansas when the Kryptonian rocket landed in their farm, so by the time they got to it, poor baby Kal-El had passed away. Oh, and some heartless bastard had stolen the rocket and left the baby lying there. But hey, at least the Kents got some neat glowing rock out of it!
That heartless bastard was Dr. Emmett Vale, the alien-hating scientist who would go on to create Metallo in Superman's timeline. The Kents leave Superman chained up next to the kryptonite as they go visit Vale with a shotgun to make him pay for sending garishly-dressed thugs their way, plus the baby murder and stuff. Superman is too weak to move away from the kryptonite, but not too weak to melt the wheels of Pa Kent's truck with his eyes, causing the metal box with the kryptonite to slam shut (thank Rao most metal boxes in this timeline are also lined with lead, for some reason).
Meanwhile, the Kents have already been captured by Vale's goons. Vale, who is terribly concerned about an alien invasion, says he used the technology from the Kryptonian rocket to build a machine to cross to a neighboring dimension and steal some of the "awesome weapons" there, which he plans to use against those hated aliens. In fact, he hates the aliens so much that he has no regrets about leaving a tiny one to die. Unfortunately for him, a bigger alien overhears that.
Vale activates his dimension-crossing machine, which causes the Old Kents to start materializing in the portal as they sync with this timeline, meaning they're once again a few seconds away from getting Marty McFly'd. While Superman worries about that, Vale activates some '40s-style robots and sends them after him, but Superman isn't terribly intimidated. (He did just fight a much scarier killer robot a couple of months ago.)
Superman destroys two of the robots, but the resulting electric shock (plus some lingering kryptonite poisoning) leaves him stunned. Past Pa actually saves Superman from the last robot using his trusty shotgun, while Past Ma saves herself from Vale using her nails.
With the Young Kents safe, Superman uses the portal to try to bring the Old ones into this reality to buy them more time. When he's about to do that, he finds himself transported into the timestream by Linear Lady Liri Lee, who tells him it's time to go back to the Zero Hour series and fight "the true cause of this chronal chaos." Superman curses her for dooming his parents, but then she shows him that the Young Kents' timeline is disappearing anyway. Superman agrees to rejoin the crossover just to kick its mystery villain's butt (of course, if you've read ZH #1, you know it already happened the other way).
Meanwhile, in Metropolis, Lois Lane reports on the latest breaking news story: the end of time. She watches from a rooftop as a wave of entropy swallows Metropolis, and only interrupts her narration at the very end, to say...
And then: four pages of nothing (which was a running theme in several DC comics this month). TO BE CONCLUDED IN ZERO HOUR!
Plotline-Watch:
At the start, Clark tells Lois he took some time to check in on Metropolis since he and the other heroes had "stopped the chronal deterioration in the future" in Zero Hour #2, meaning this must take place between that issue and #1. The only problem is that Liri Lee and Matthew Ryder had been left in stasis by Extant in ZH #4 and were only freed by Superman and others in #1... but I guess that's not a massive continuity screwup given that she's a time traveling character and all. Hell, it could even be 2025 Post-Zero Hour, Post-Infinite Crisis, Post-New 52, Post-whatever Liri visiting this old timeline.
Jimmy Olsen wearing shirts for '90s bands was a staple of this era, but they've never been quite as... revealing as the NIN one he decided to wear to the office in this issue. Is he trying to impress Lucy Lane now that she's an alt-rocker girl (or grrrl)? Did a time fluke make him switch clothes with a much shorter Jimmy from another timeline? Or did he realize the world is ending and said "screw it, I'll dress like I always wanted to dress"? I think it might have been the shock of seeing Jimmy wearing that what made Perry White drop out of reality, not the entropy wave.
Previous appearances had depicted Dr. Vale as a kooky scientist, while this one shows him as more of a rich mob-boss type character. It's possible he lost his fortune, henchmen, and weight as he grew older and more paranoid about aliens, or this is just one of the differences between the timelines (another one being that Superman's rocket landed in the '40s, which means this Kal-El would have been in his fifties by 1994).
This issue would be greatly improved by one small change: instead of a shotgun, Young Pa should have been carrying around his shovel (you know, the shovel from The Man of Steel #6 and Adventures #500) and that's what he uses to save Superman from the robot at the end. You messed up, Michelinie.
Shout Outs-Watch:
Shameless Jimmy Olsen shirt-style shout outs to our SUPporters, Aaron, Chris “Ace” Hendrix, britneyspearsatemyshorts, Patrick D. Ryall, Mark Syp, Ryan Bush, Raphael Fischer, Kit, Dave Shevlin, and Dave Blosser! Join them (and get extra articles) via Patreon or our newsletter’s “pay what you want” mode! Both of those also have free tiers, if you just wanna get posts like this one in your inbox.
And now, more about this issue's most important topics (including, yes, Jimmy's fashion choices) from the great Don Sparrow:
162
View On WordPress
161
View On WordPress
Zero Hour: Crisis in Time #1 (September 1994)
In this issue: Superman gets punched! The real villain is revealed! And, oh yeah, EVERYONE DIES.
We open with Supergirl, Steel, Alternate Timeline Batgirl, and a distraught Guy Gardner coming out of a big hole in reality in what used to be Coast City. Guy is muttering something about how he "just saw the woman I loved die" (which, if you're following @greenlantern94to04, you also just saw in the latest post about Guy Gardner: Warrior #24). More of these "entropy fissures" pop up all around and one of them gobbles up Steel, despite Guy's efforts. It's been a humbling day for the once obnoxiously arrogant Guyster.
While Guy curses Extant for causing all this, Extant is like "The hell is causing all this?" Turns out he's not the one opening all those fissures. That's when the mysterious glowing green figure from the end of last issue shows up and demonstrates that Extant isn't the top dog here (although you could still use a word for "canine" to describe him in this page). The Actual Big Bad chastises Extant for "forgetting who's in charge here" and acting like he's the villain of this comic just because he's all over the covers, ads, preview blurbs, and, you know, the comic itself. Until now, anyway.
The mystery villain's next stop is the 30th century, or at least the tiny Pocket (Earth) of it that still survives. The Time Trapper has stashed a few Legion of Super-Heroes members (including his own past selves, Cosmic Boy and Cosmic... Man?) in there to prevent them from being eaten by entropy, but they end up fading into nothingness anyway. Then, TTT is easily taken down by the mystery character again -- yep, it was him who did that at the start of ZH #4 (the first issue), not Extant. In fact, TTT even does the exact same pose while being blasted just to make it clear that it's by the same guy.
(And also because Dan Jurgens drew six books this month and deserved a little break here.)
Back in the 20th century, everyone born in the past or future starts disappearing as their eras of origin are deleted from history. That means Impulse (30th century), Booster Gold (25th), and the old folks at the Justice Society (early 20th). Before being wiped out, however, Jay "First And Apparently Only Surviving Flash" Garrick manages to convince his old friend The Spectre that they've finally reached the part of the crossover where he decides to get involved. (I only said decides, though; he'll actually do it next issue.)
As time gets erased, Metron takes Superman and a few others outside of it: meaning, to Vanishing Point. The heroes need someone who can easily ride the waves of time, so it's too bad that Waverider died last issue. Luckily, they still have his alternate human version Matthew Ryder, so they just turn him all Waverider-y using convenient comic book science. (It's kinda funny that no one asks for Matthew's opinion on this; he's just like "Oooh, I don't know about thi-- whelp, guess I'm Waverider now!")
In the present, the rapidly declining number of surviving heroes (Batman, RIP... ped apart by a time hole) fight Extant with the help of Waverider 2... and NO help from Wonder Woman, since she's busy delivering Power Girl's baby. At one point, Extant tries to de-age The Atom into primordial goop, but Waverider 2 stops that process when Atom is merely at 18 years old (ironic, considering The Other Atom died from being aged into bones back in ZH #3 (the second issue)).
Just when the heroes are about to defeat Extant, someone punches Superman himself into the ground. Everyone looks in shock as we learn that it's none other than...
Freakin' Psi-- I mean, Hal Jordan! Wait, isn't Hal a good guy? Nice, he can help bring down the mystery villain! The day is saved!
Wait, no. Hal is the mystery villain. He's taken the name Parallax and decided that the universe needs to be restarted from zero to correct injustices like the destruction of Coast City. Oliver Queen / Green Arrow can't believe that his old friend Hal is the one who just wiped away 99.999999...% of all of humanity across history, but Hal says that yep, it's him alright -- and proves it by wiping out the rest now. Everything fades to white.
As he fades away too, Hal says: "Who knows? Maybe one universe... one world -- won't be enough." But right now, there's no universe and no worlds. Just nothing. THE END. OF EVERYTHING.
Except this post, because there's more from Don Sparrow!
160
View On WordPress