Maj

Gay shit

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

I TOTALLY FUCKING CALLED ITTTTTTTT!!!!!! ABT TWO THINGS

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.11

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Sugar-”you play a twisted little game” manipulating? Idk man this song is fucking w my brain (or like yk how to get to me/into my head?), “believe that though we never eat we still know how to feed” ‘the fact i dont do it doesnt mean i cant do it’ (i js have nothing to put here so im js unpacking the lyrics), “sugar ive developed a taste for you now” after the ‘twisted little game’ there was smth going on inside someones head and that someone is probably v, “let me wrap the chains” AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!, “addicted to the pain” oh hon we know, most of these lyrics are very literal so theres not much to say or unpack, “do you wanna see how far it goes? Do you wanna test me now my love?” quite self explanatory (could also be both povs), “things we buried low coming to the surface” back to the second chance tension i see (COULD be a misunderstanding from their past coming back somehow like it did in tbbu).

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.10

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Good Luck, Babe!-”you can say that we are nothing but you know the truth” you can pretend that were still enemies but yk were not, “and guess im the fool with her arms out like an angel through the car sunroof” i guess i was reading too much into the happy moment we had? Donno whose pov yet, “i dont wanna call it off but you dont wanna call it love” THE NILE IS A RIVER IN EGYPT your husband is GAY (like i wanna love you but you wont let me), “you only wanna be the one that i call baby” ok i think y pov maybe bc i think v would be the one more in denial but anyway i think v just wants to have the small moments with y (at the start) and then pretend like they werent anything in public, “you can kiss a hundred boys in bars” but we flip the genders soo ‘you can kiss a hundred girls in bars’ “shoot another shot trying to stop the feeling” v tryna prove he doesnt need yulian and that he doesnt rly want him (which… yeah big fat lie) and then i imagine he actually feels nothing for whoever he was kissing and he did that js to piss y off, “you can say its just the way you are” ok v… theres this river… in egypt… called the nile… ever heard of it… cuz ur in it, “make a new excuse another stupid reason” reason of why they cant be together (aside from the mafia), “well good luck babe! Youd have to stop the world just to stop the feeling” v cant get over y no matter how hard he tries to deny it and tries to prove hes still straight bc he cant find other straws to grasp at, “and when you wake up next to him(her) in the middle of the night with your head in your hand and nothing more than his(her) wife(husband/boyfriend)” v realises that the gf that hes is w means nothing and that its just the image but he doesnt know how to come out of the hole, “and when you think about me all of those years ago” i mean there was smth abt second chance tension, “youre standing face to face with i told you so” whatever happened one of them realises the other one was right and they drifted apart for nothing.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.9

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?-the first song where i have close to no thoughts, y pov i think, “the mirrors image it tells me its home time but im not finished cause youre not by my side” v is getting shit you even he can see it when he looks at himself but he still has to keep trying to get y back (i imagine this is after he found abt my made up arranged marriage), “and as i arrived i thought i saw you leaving carrying your shoes decided that once again i was just dreaming of bumping into you” (this is gonna be abt my arranged marriage again) y finally finds v in the crowd and sees that ‘v’s eyes dont just look they burn’ like in the teaserish thingy and then he wants to go up to v to like stop the burning eyes thingy bc it fucking hurts y to see v like this but he cant, “left you multiple missed calls and to my message you reply ‘whyd you only call me when youre high?’” after the wedding y gets high bc he cant get v’s expression at the wedding out of his head so he like calls him multiple times while high and like texts v some shit too (the texts clearly show that he’s high and not in his right mind) so v like ‘understands’ that y does want him (cuz high ppl are impulsive asf and dont rly think at all) but is afraid of whatll happen once he does, “its harder and harder to get you to listen more i get through the gears incapable of making alright decisions and having bad ideas” (more abt the high calls) v doesnt listen to y while y is high but y gets worse the more he tries to get closer and tell v but at the end he cant get the right words out and spouts out some bs, “it sort of feels like im running out of time” y feels like hes running out of time and that v is slowly getting over him (when in reality v just feels like the drunk and high y isnt the real y and therefore he doesnt believe him when he deep down knows y cares but theres still shit in the way), “i havent found what i was hoping to find” were you looking for a sober y perhaps? 

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.8

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

i wish i knew how to quit you-sigh… another sombr song… here we go again, “i wont call it off til im stone” wont end the relationship or whatever they have at that moment until its truly no longer possible to keep it going, “ill write a book with all the reasons i could call you my home but i wont cuz youre unavailable” y pov obvi (theres many MANY reasons why y feels safe/wanted with v (maybe smth before the gf like childhood friends or smth idk atp) but he cant do anything bc of the gf v was with), “i wont save myself im unwell” y wont leave v and try to ‘fix’ himself even though hes unwell “id rather take another bottle down the top of the shelf than get help” y would rather make it (his mental state or smth w his dad or smth) worse to still be with v, “cause youre no good for my health” cause v tames y’s demons but since v doesnt know about the demons he cant make them go away so they just grow, “i wish i knew how to quit you” y wishes he knew how to live w/o v at that point since hes his ‘missing puzzle piece’ but he cant get better since he doesnt realize that hiding from v is making it worse and he doesnt wanna tell v so hes stuck in a loop, “you were never mine but i was always yours” v had the girlfriend which is why yulian never got to have v (since v actually liked the gf) and therefore y only looked at v from a distance, “but im addicted to you more and more” v is a crutch for y to hold onto (why tf is ts getting so depressing) to get away from his demons and just like any other addiction its hard to give away the pleasure of feeling great, SWITCH POVS, “when i put you on the counter of my tiny place in brooklyn and we kissed like there was nothing to lose” quite self explanatory so like vy kiss all lovey-dovey, SWITCH BACK, “did you feel what i did too?” y wondering if v also thought something changed at that moment or like that they were ‘real’, “oh youre in my dna so much exchanged” youre IN me aka the ‘missing puzzle piece’ thing again, “at least i know when youre far away therell always be a part of you that stays” youll always be in my heart or like a part of me, “youre the echo in my veins” somehow that doesnt sound happy (who am i kidding none of sombrs songs do) however i think this is more like yearning and haunting the other one when theyre not together since deep down theyre a bit distracted because of each other, “i love you while i sleep then i wake up alone” fantasize abt the other but in reality theyre not together, “i live inside a house without you its not home” a special place for them (mostly v i think since every place i can think of thets special to them both is owned by him (not y’s house definitely since that hell with his father wouldnt be home even if v was there) (lets say like the cottage from tbbu or like the brooklyn apartment mentioned earlier in this) but when alone its just a house with no meaning, “they dont know what its like to live and never know if the one you wait for is ever gonna show” back to the arranged marriage AGAIN v’s pov AGAIN v waiting for y never knowing whether y would choose him or his role in the bratva, “i wish i knew how to quit you” (AGAIN) v wishes he knew how to stop waiting for y.

yeah so uhmm that might be like every like in the song analyzed...

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.7

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Pacify Her-y obvi, “entire first minute of pacify her” v is w the girlfriend whom y wants to get rid of and the whole thing with that (its js word for word so like exactly what it means so not gonna do any unpacking with that), SWITCH POVS maybe possibly, “i cant stand her whining” if v then hes finally getting tired of her after he starts realising he might have smth for y or if y then yeah he js finds that bitch annoying, SWITCH BACK yes sorry v u only get one rn :), “wheres her binky now” are you still gonna be with her and take her bullshit? - y, “loving her seems tiring” y seeing that v is getting bored with the girlfriend.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.6

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

The Emptiness Machine-"your blades are sharpened with precision" insults are meant to hurt, i let you cut me open just to watch me bleed" i let you see the deepest parts of me just for you to leave/betray me (yulian? could be either tbh), "dont know why im hoping for what i wont receive falling for the promise of the emptiness machine" false hope but they know it (in this case probably y), "gave up who i am for who you wanted me to be" y 'changed' himself a bit (not likely but im js writing whatever bs i can think of atp) for v since he thought v wouldnt like the real him because his father doesnt (yes im putting the daddy issues everywhere), "i only wanted to be part of something" y only wanted to feel wanted, "dont know why im hoping so fucking naive" y thinking v doesnt want him back AGAIN istg men are js oblivious atp.

istg there isnt a single happy song in here

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.5

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Sucker-i think this song is probably more mental heath shit than others yet, "get the fuck outta my head" y's father is shitty and manipulates y and gets in his head, "i dont wanna see you i hate this life" yulian hates being born into the mafia because he thinks all the powerful individuals are like his dad, "get your fingers outta my hair, youre gone sucker, good luck killing me cause im already, already dead inside" yulian and his shitty and abusive father and for the 'dead inside' part is the fact that y is so used to the abuse and shit that he just takes it since its already gone as far as it can, yes this whole song is probably gonna be abt y and is father, "pretty little lamb dont come down here but youre mad if you thought id let you go" y's father giving y the BARE MINIMUM and warning him about a threat which makes it seem like he actually gives a fuck abt y but y gets reminded thats hes just a pawn in his fathers game that can be used when time is right.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.4

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

12 to 12-"im not the least compelled by anyone but yourself" dont want anyone that aint u since ye like broke me (like that one scene from "for the fans" where kyran was mad at avi cus the girl didnt get his dick up), "look at me it makes me melt" honey... IM MELTING so like whenever they see each other in public they like get dazed and practically melt (its a cliche but who cares i love cliches), "i know you wanna see me in hell my love" yulian perhaps?, "im dealing with the cards ive dealt" im dealing with the place i have in society (more yulian?), "while youre dancing with somebody else" the fucking girlfriend that got in the way, "was it always in your plan to leave eventually" y leaving for the arranged marriage i made up, "in a room full of people i look for you would you avoid me or would you look for me too" the mafia events or some jazz... y looks for v and wants to spend time or like leave the fucking events (y since he seems to be more open) and doesnt know whether v also wants that (could also be more metaphorical), "tell me is our story through" when y gets into my made up arranged marriage, "or do our hearts still beat in tune" or if he doesnt want the marriage and hes doing it out of his sense of responsibility, "ive never felt anything like the love from our final days" like the cottage in tbbu or the trip to (like scotland or ireland or smth) like THAT... before they break off and y gets into that arranged marriage that atp i arranged, "whyd you wait" v waiting for y even though y is bout to get married, "to show me you could do it this way" v being patient (somehow) and being depresso while waiting for y to come to his senses, "ill never look at you look at you the same" the hate is all gone PERIOD, "i said can i sit with you'comment ca se fait' (how does that happen)" y surprised that he were going LOWK soft for v (or the other way around), "my mistake if id known it would have been this way" v running away from y after that 'soft' moment and y regretting it (or the other way around), "maybe im delusional and the way you act us usual" y (yes i made practically this whole song about him atp sue me) thinking that v is just being casual/using him for sex/anything (idk im outta ideas), "maybe in another world i dont feel so unlovable" the mafia and y's dad who we YES WE think is an asshole and now when he loses v he feels like a piece was torn out of him because he was v's first choice and now he's no ones(if he's not he at least thinks so) (yes he has great friends but tbh i think the friends also have lovers(sorry shane ik you hate this word) or smth).

the sombr ones are the longest istg

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.3

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

we never dated-"you were clever, knew when to deliver your lines, and make it seem like you werent bright" twisting the truth or smth smth (y being all ragebaiter and shit but theres smth behind it like smth smarty smarty), "how come we never even dated but i still find myself thinking of you daily" obsession obvi (thought it was hate but no?) and thinking abt each other non stop when smth even remotely relater to the other person, "why do you always leave me aching" YEARNING, "when you were never mine for the taking" cant be together bc of mafia and all that jazz, "i cant make you love me" one's obsession started before the other but knew they couldnt have the other and the other would not love them back, "nice to romantisize" only in the fantasies or some cheesy shit like that, "but you dont make yourself easy to like you like to have your fun you dance around the line" 'dance around the line' 'the LINE between love and hate is thin' or whatever they say anyway its like bitter sweet like love and hate and not sure which to settle on, "i wish nothing but the best for you" do you though... cuz thats sounds like a goodbye and yall are not rly goodbye ppls yall are more like 'goodbye... ill ruin your life' ppls, "but i hope whos next sees the rest of you" v referring to y who gets into an arranged marriage (yes the one i made up).

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing pt.2

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Saints-"why don't you throw me to the wolves i thought you were one" since v calles y little wolf in russian could it mean like 'why didnt you betray me'?, "saying that my tongue was too loud to trust" maybe y bc he seems more like the type to tell everyone everything so maybe v doesnt trust him at the start, "your revelations look nothing like the pictures" you werent like i thought youd be, "counting off my sins just to cross them off" v maybe telling y everything he did wrong but somehow justifying y's decisions in the progress if that makes sense, "youre no saint youre no saviour" after v told y all the things he did wrong y proved that v wasnt much better either, "and keep your judgement for someone else ive had enough" the insults now hurt because they thought things were changing break up perhaps.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

HTV playlist analyzing

Disclaimer!! 90% of the shit i say here doesnt make sense or it contradicts with something else ive said. So yk… good luck.<3 This is just rly messy notes but i dont rly have time to clean them up so yeah

Chokehold-pushed together(had to work together?), choking :), dark, "I'd turn my walls to gold" (according to a reddit thread: So it's widely accepted that the only way to make gold is pretty much via a star exploding. When he says the line in Chokehold "I'd turn my walls to gold to bring you home again" essentially means he'd blow up the sun to bring someone back. So, he's blown up the sun but now he's trapped in walls made of gold so he needs something that can break down the gold walls. He then mixes up a batch of hydrochloric acid and nitric acid to make "Aqua Regia (aka Royal Water)": the best chemical that can dissolve gold.) gold roses?, "show me what i cant see even if it hurts me" v needs y (also the snippet we got as the spoiler abt v experiencing a new sensation). obvi, "and thou we act out of our holy duty" as the pakhans sons? since theyre not supposed to be together and all that jazz.

Gonna post another later tonight probably

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

If Nikobran had pets, what would they have??

By my very professional NikoBran logic... they would have a golden retriever. Hear me out.

Niko is known to literally have the personality of a golden retriever.

I feel like a golden retriever is like very fucking cuddly (like Niko...) so like if Bran wants some alone time the dog can cuddle up next to him while he reads or whatever.

Golden retrievers aren't aggressive or "mean" like smaller dogs can be.

It was literally the first one that came to mind.

So we can very much assume that NikoBran love going on walks together (Bran loves walks+Niko loves Bran=NikoBran love walks) so I feel like a dog would be a perfect additon.

It's the only one I can think of.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

Hii, random question but Gareth Kayden or Niko Bran??

NikoBran. PERIOD.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

What's your favorite NikoBran moment... Sweetheart

The audacity... how dare you ask me for only one... darling. Since you forgot to say top 3 NikoBran moments I just corrected that for you.

When Niko was stalking Bran (again) shopping for food and after that Niko went to put the bags on the kitchen counter, but before he could do that Bran grabbed his bicep, spun him around and kissed him. (The kiss moment).

When Bran punched Niko in the face in front of Jer (imagine if Lan saw that, IMAGINE).

"Call me baby." "Missed your nickname?" "Do it." "Stop fucking around and ..., baby." - that's all I gotta say.

For whoever asked (I wonder who..?):

Dear, Anonymous,

Please take into account the fact that a normal, not at all psycho, person has more than one favorite moment from God of Fury. I recommend you choose your words more carefully as next time I won't be so nice... darling.

Yours truly,

Your Sweetheart

[littlemuse13]

Might be a little biased but I just have a gut feeling Vaughn’s gonna be a power bottom (which explains the chocking) and yulian dom top who just loves to see Vaughn Angry and trying to be in charge. And Nikolai and yulian are very comparable, so I think yulian is definitely not a bottom. (Thank god)

Hiiii, sorry for the late reply btwww, I was really thinking about this 😂😂, but like while I def see what you're coming from, I feel like from the clues we get from KTV, Yulian might not exactly be like fully top? Like if you look at what Kill said about Yulian wanting to fuck Vaughn/ Be fucked by Vaughn, it is gives the illusion that they might be switches, lmaoo. Because why would Rina want to say that unless she's acutally planning on making them switches? 😭.

But yeah, that's what I think might happen, but like everyone's entitled to their own option, of course, and I love reading the theories and stuff so that I can see what kinda pov's I missed out on, 😭, so yeah, if you wanna talk about this, you can always use the ask me anything box thingie or js Dm me, lolll.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

I lowkey changed my mind. I love power bottom V.

[littlemuse13]

Do you think yulian is the top or Vaughn? And you reasons plss

Hiii, so like tbhhh, I feel like they're probably switches. CAUSEE LIKEEEE- okay so if you look at it, and try to see who could be the top based on facts from KTV, lolll, it's actually evenly matched. Like Yulian's the person who gives Vaughn a nickname, but like in RK's story, she mentioned that Vaughn also has a nickname for Yulian that's not mentioned yet and since usually the bottom in Rk's bl relationship who has a nickname, we can't judge it based on that 😭.

And like some people might argue that since Yulian was described as bulky and 6'3ish, and that Vaughn is described as "leaner" than the others Heathens by Glyndon when she's in the Heathens Initation, so that might mean that the top could be Yulian since he has the more power and maybe the height (we don't know Vaughn's exact height, lmafoo )

But also like if you look at the heathens Initation scene from KTV, it said that Vaughn was the one who had Yulian in a chokehold with his chain, while Yulian laughed like a maniac, and told Vaughn that "he loves it when he gets rough", sooo I'm guessing Yulian probably likes being choked by Vaughn 😭😭. Whichhh could mean that Vaughn's the top??

And if you look at the title, it's kinda obvious on whose the person whose Hunting and whose the Villain, sooo likee, that's also probably equal 😭😭. And yeah, if you look at all of the evidences laid out, I feel like the power is kinda equal?? So I'm guessing that they're probably switches. Damnnn, I wrote wayyy too much, lmaooo, but I hope that this answered ur questionnn.

[dontforgettofeedyourdelusions]

To be honest I feel like they’d also be switches because no matter how much I think about it, it wouldn’t make that much sense for either of them to be tops/bottoms. But at the same time I feel like (as much as we know so far) Rina doesn’t give off the kind of vibes who would write switching (though I’m hoping for it).

If and only if they’re not switches, I’d love V as the top. Hear me out now. First of all, he’s a Heathen and as much as I love Gaz bottoming, I don’t really see V bottoming like that. Second of all, Yulian already came out so I feel like he would be more “comfortable” as a bottom since there’s a big chance he’s bottomed before and this book wouldn’t have the “giving up control like that for the first time” like KtV did. And third of all, we have the choking. The initiation. Maybe a thing that kind of makes it possible is that I think we’re pretty sure that V sent Yulian the invitation, like Niko did (who’s a top) and like Gaz didn’t (who’s a bottom). Is that like a REALLY small detail? Yes. Is it probably true? No.

Why I think it’s actually more obvious that Yulian is a top. First of all, we know he’s already in the community so it’s likely he has figured out what he is and likely since the way he acts and looks (very Niko-like) he gives top vibes. Second of all, we already know that he has a nickname for V while we’re not sure if V has that kind of nickname for Yulian (like a personal nickname not baby, princess, etc). And lastly, I feel like… I don’t even know, man. This is it. No lastly.