Summary:ย College has been making your life a stressful and sleepless hell. When Joseph finds out you broke your promise to him in order to finish an essay, he decided he's had enough of you torturing yourself.
Warnings: Mentions of school, stress and anxiety, but mostly fluff.
Word count: 1,8k+ย
2:53 in the morning.
It's exactly 2:53 in the morning and you were still typing away on your laptop in the livingroom. You had to get this soul-crushing essay done by the end of the week and wednesday just turned into thursday three hours ago already. Time is moving too quickly for your liking. The rational part of your brain obviously knew that you still had more than enough time left to finish it, but youโve always had this fear that if you don't get as much work done as possible, you'll eventually drown in unfinished stuff and fail.
You're terrible at making schedules for yourself, never being able to stick to them, since you can't estimate how much time you need for every little thing.
So here you are, eyes red and dried out. Youโd turned down the brightness of your screen completely, but at this ungodly hour it was still burning your eyes out as if youโre looking straight at the sun. All the lights in the house were off, so the only source of light in this room was coming from your laptopscreen. Normally, the surrounding darkness would have freaked you out, but youโve gotten so used to this routine that youโve learned to feel comforted by it.
Just one more sentence.
That's what youโve been telling yourself for the past 45 minutes or so. Youโre good at a lot of things, but listening definitely isnโt one of them.
As you kept on typing and typing, your brain started to shut itself off, both arms feeling like a mix of jelly and melting ice cream. On top of that, your head suddenly weighed as much as a brick building and your eyelids couldnโt seem to resist the urge to shut.ย
So they did.
Your head started to spin, fighting a silent battle with gravity, which you lost soon enough once you slipped out of focus, causing your head to plop down onto your keyboard, pressing down a few random keys.
When Joe groggily awoke from the brutal sound of your head hitting your laptop, he hadnโt fully comprehended the sound to be anything worth checking up on and simply turned over, wanting to throw his arm over your supposedly sleeping form. After a minute of trying to locate your body with no results, Joe slowly opened his sleepy eyes to find out that you arenโt even in bed with him.
He hastily turned back around to look at his phone on his nightstand and check the time.
2:59.
โJesus, Y/N. Don't tell me youโre still behind that laptop.โ Joe murmured, looking through the open bedroom door and seeing a small source of light originating from down the stairs, confirming his worries.ย
He rubbed his dry eyes and sat up straight. Pulling the covers off him caused an awful shiver to travel down Joe's spine. He decided to ignore it and tiredly crawled out of bed in search of you. After walking down the stairs, Joe entered the livingroom to find his girlfriend sleeping like a rose on top of her laptop.
He slowly shuffled a bit closer and squinted at your bright laptop screen. The document you were trying to turn into a meaningful essay was now getting filled with words like 'jfkdlasfhehhhhhhhhhhhhhh' , typed by your cheek.
Very concerned, Joe put his hand on your unoccupied cheek and rubbed your smooth skin with his rough thumb. You started to stir a bit, but it wasn't enough to wake you up yet.
Joe moved his hand from your cheek to your messy, loose hair and began softly running his fingers through your hair strands, being mindful of any potential knots, not wanting to wake you up by scaring you.
"Y/N, darling..."
Joe sighed. This wasn't going to work.
He carefully turned your chair around so you could face him. You started to bend forward, so Joe had to quickly put his arms around your waist.
He picked you up, placing one arm under your knees, the other wrapping around your torso, and made his way to the couch. Joe slowly sat down with you laying comfortably in his lap.
He kissed your forehead in a different attempt to wake you. Relief washed over him when all of a sudden you opened your droopy eyes to the feeling of his warm lips coming in contact with your skin.
It's pretty dark in the livingroom, so you could barely figure out where you were.
"Love, you promised me you were coming to bed at twelve. It's three in the morning now. Why won't you listen to me when it comes to stuff like this?" Joseph's voice sounded stern, but mostly desperate.
You lazily smiled at his deep voice and melted into his big, warm arms, closing your eyes again. You were absolutely content like this, feeling ten times better than you did a few minutes ago.
"I know. It won't happen again. I promise." You murmured, pressing your lips to his stubbled cheek.
Joe only felt ten times worse than he did a few minutes ago.
"Y/N, I'm being serious right now. I know you're tired and you're not even listening to what I'm saying, but...I'm concerned about you..."
Your eyes suddenly shot open at his confession.
"Concerned? Why are you concerned, baby? I don't want you being concerned about me, Joe. I'm doing just fine." You tried to relax him with your words, feeling the strong urge to take all of his worries from him and make them vanish into thin air.
Joe sighs through his nose, carefully pushing your hair behind your shoulders.
"Well, I am anyways. You've been so drenched in schoolwork lately that you don't pay any attention to your health anymore. You're staying up late, eating less, going outside less, even smiling less. And it makes me feel like shit, because I want you to be happy and healthy."
His caring words made you wanna roll into a ball and cry to be honest, but you knew better than to neglect his worries right now. You grabbed his face and looked straight into his pools of emotion.
"Joey, I'm sorry that I've made you feel that way. I'm just having a lot of trouble with school lately, you're right. I don't know how to organise anything and everything I try to learn, my brain just doesn't process anymore. I love you so much and I'll try to take care of myself better. Okay? I'm gonna be fine, sweetheart. Really." you blurted out, trying to smile through your sleepiness to reduce some of his stress.ย
But your words onlyย seemed to have the opposite effect, because he frowned a bit.
"Wait, no. This doesn't feel right. Now I'm just making you feel like this is all your fault. It isn't at all. This is all just your bloody school's fault. They're giving you way too much work." Joe paused for a bit, his eyes analyzing every part of your exhausted face, seemingly deep in thought.
" D'you know what? I will help you organise all of your schoolwork, alright? And I mean all of it. So you'll have a better view of how you're going to spend your day and not your night. I love you too." he beams at you, clearly very content with the idea of you finally being able to have some well-deserved peace of mind.
You grinned widely and attached your lips to his, trying to project your gratefulness in the soft way youโre kissing him . The passionate energy you were sharing, was making you a little less sleepy.
You break away and embrace each other tightly.
"Speaking of organising your work schedule, we should probably organise your sleep schedule as well, don't you think? So can we please, please go to bed?" Joe begged, his doe eyes looking puffier than usual cause of the lack of sleep.
You chuckled, but quickly interrupted yourself with a yawn.
"I'll take that as a yes." Joe snickered lightly.
He slowly tried to stand up from the couch with you still in his arms. In the meantime, you tried to wrap your legs around his waist and put your face in his neck, breathing in his comforting scent and placing a few sleepy kisses to the warm skin.
Joe's heart swelled as he started walking up the stairs, his grip on you unwavering, when you began tapping his chest rapidly, keeping your face glued to his neck .
"Oh, oh, oh! I want some water first. I always drink water before I go to sleep." You mumbled against his skin, slightly tickling your boyfriend in the process.
Joseph grumbled and turned around to make his way to the kitchen, clearly annoyed, but still carrying you none the less. You jumped out of his arms and began the hunt for a clean cup, since they're all dirty and sitting in the dishwasher.
After looking for what felt like hours to Joe, you managed to find an abandoned, plastic Paw Patrol cup โthat originally belongs to your nephew, but he'd forgotten to take it back home with him when he had visited you with your sisterโ and filled it to the brim with tapwater.
Halfway through drinking it, you decided that you weren't that thirsty anymore and dumped the remaining water down the drain.
Through the entire time, Joe was just standing there, leaning against the countertop with his arms crossed over his chest, showcasing his light annoyance.
"Anddd it's probably six in the morning already. What would you like for breakfast, dear?" he murmured mockingly, while looking at his wrist, pretending it's a watch.
You rolled your eyes and smirked, turning on the tap again and putting your hand underneath the stream, ignoring the shockingly cold temperature. You swing your hand in his direction, causing a few water drops to fly all over your boyfriend's scowling face.
He gasped dramatically and rapidly shook his head from left to right like a dog as if you just dunked a bucket of ice water on him.
"Drama queen. You know, you should really try looking into acting, something tells me you'd be amazing at it." You snickered and started making a beeline for the stairs.
"Just wait and see who the drama queen really is once the tickle monster catches you!" Joe yelled after you with a playful tone, bursting out in giggles when he heard your distant scream at the mention of the infamous tickle monster.
He sprinted after you, up the stairs.
Before he even got the chance to reach out to you, you jumped into bed and hid underneath the covers, pretending you were sound asleep already.
Joe ran into the room and stopped, debating between getting his revenge or finally heading off to dreamland with you in his arms.
Your boyfriend decided to set his ego aside for tonight.
"You're lucky I'm tired, darling. Very lucky." he whispered as he collapsed onto the bed, pulling you into his front and falling asleep immediately.
please bestie i want some soft love that's so second nature joe doesnt even have his attention with you whilst he gives it, please can you write something like that?
im not allowed to write right now because work and stress and boundaries and mental health etc etc so ๐ฅฐfuck you๐ฅฐ for this
Wordcount: 1.8K
---
Cotton Soft Touches Gentle Voices Smooth
โWhat are you doing?โ
You barely even heard Joe ask the question from across the room. You were so buried in whatever was happening on TV, focus completely zoomed in, mind somewhere else entirely. It took Joe another try for you to register the question directed at you.
โHey. What are you doing?โ
โHmm?โ you turned your head to Joe before your eyes followed and for a moment, you just slowly blinked at him. Something about his face combined with the fact that it really took you a minute to find yourself back in the room made you smile. You were so cosy.
โWatching TV.โ you answered innocently, because you were, eyes back on the screen already.
You were warmly nestled into the sofa, curled up, knees pulled in, all comfortable in your white ribbed cotton pyjamas. The throwpillows and blankets on the sofa created the perfect nest for you to happily curl up into.
Snug.
Soft ambient light from several lamps placed in strategic corners lit up the room just enough. If you stood and opened the curtains a bit more, you could still catch the faint and fading oranges of the sunset.
You were shower fresh, limbs covered by white clean cotton, nose still a little cold from the difference in temperature after getting out of the hot stream, and wet hair cool where it touched your skin.
But you felt so warm.
So fucking cosy.
When youโd walked back into the living room post shower, skin glossy and wet hair brushed back, Joe had installed himself at the dinner table with his laptop and a notebook.
Heโd cleared away the mess from dinner and had turned his spot into a desk.
โJust need to do these e-mails,โ he said after youโd let your arms curl around him from behind, arms that he grabbed hold of for a second, and you kissed the top of his head.
โWill only be a minute.โ
Youโd left him to it then, not minding that Joe had some work to do, just happy that he was in the same room instead of hidden away in what he called the office and you called the guest bedroom.
The โonly a minuteโ easily turned into an hour plus. Joe kept busy on both his computer and his phone, and would sometimes scribble some things down onto paper. There was a phone call or two, just quick โSorry to call so late, but have you seen the...โ and, โHey, yea, I'm just reading it now, can I call you back in a minute?โ type things.
Joe became background noise to you the second you snuggled up, and similarly the low sounds coming from the TV were just a nice reminder that Joe wasnโt alone.
But then, halfway through typing a response to an e-mail, something in Joeโs peripheral vision caught his attention.
Something moving slowly.
A little rhythmically.
When he peeked over his laptop screen and saw his girlfriend looking just about the most comfortable sheโd ever looked, he didnโt even think you were aware that you were doing it.
In your layers of soft cream fabrics, head slumped to the side, Joe saw how you let your fingers softly skim over the area below your ear. They danced in circles and lines by your jaw, onto your cheek just a little before trailing back to your neck andโ
That was what Joe always did.
Thatโs where Joe let his fingers draw shapes.
He would brush some hair from your face and would then let his fingertips linger, and it always made you hum. Made you relax. Gave you tingles that made your hearing go funny for a second.
Joe watched you lazily self soothe, and after a moment he decided that heโd actually done enough work. He could finish this e-mail tomorrow.
โWhat are you doing?โ
โHmm? Watching TV.โ
Your eyes were back on the screen before Joe couldโve even said anything about how you were touching yourself.
It was nothing sexual - not really. Not what he was witnessing right now anyway. He imagined it just felt nice.
He closed his laptop and got up from his seat, and without looking away from the TV, you moved to make space for Joe next to you, knowing heโd make his way over to press himself into your side.
Joe smiled as you moved blankets aside but kept that one hand near your ear, index finger mapping out your hairline towards the nape of your neck and back.
Instead of sitting down though, Joe pushed a knee into the sofa right next to your thigh and placed his fingers right were yours were, pushing them aside.
โI do this,โ Joe said as he hovered over you, and you grinned as you let your head fall to the side more. โThis is my job.โ
Joe tickled his fingers along your soft skin, fresh and clean from the shower, and it only took a few seconds for you to sigh into his touch.
It was nicer when Joe did it.
โSโnice?โ Joe murmured, still with just one knee on the sofa, and you hummed, eyes closed, nodding.
โIs nicer when you do it.โ
โYea?โ
Joe leant forward to press a kiss to your cheek, getting you just under your eye, and then he moved to sit down next to you.
After a shuffle of throws, pillows, and limbs, you found yourself under Joeโs arm, curled up into his side.
You were comfortable before, but this would always be infinitely better.
โHmm, you smell nice.โ Joe commented after taking a moment to press his nose into your still damp hair.
โYea? What do I smell like? Shampoo?โ you whispered, voice not wanting to be any louder.
Joe easily bit, taking the invitation to get another real good whiff of you, his whole face now pressing into the crook of your neck.
You relished the attention, feeling fuzzy on the inside, heat blooming in your chest.
โYea, sort of lemonyโฆ all fresh and clean.โ
You blushed and were unable to hide your smile as you settled together for some TV watching, warm bodies pressed together, always fitting just right somehow.
Joeโs arm rested on the back of the sofa and bent around your head just right for his fingers to play. To touch the skin around your ear like youโd been doing before. To lightly trail and leave goosebumps down your whole body.
You could easily fall asleep like this, legs intertwined, head on his chest.
You lazily watched TV in silence for a while and if Joe was going to keep up the barely there shapes drawn down your neck you knew you actually would fall asleep.
It was becoming difficult to keep your eyes open, every blink a comfortable invitation to just keep them closed, but then the soft buzzing of Joeโs phone pulled you both from your haze.
Joe had your earlobe in between his fingers when he answered, and for a moment you were fully expecting him to get up. Move to where his laptop lay shut to open it once more to maybe finish something he hadnโt yet.
But when you tried to sit up a little for Joe to slip out of this cocoon youโd created, you felt his arm tense. He wasnโt letting go of the soft skin of your ear and to make sure you stayed put, he bent a leg to keep yours in place.
โItโs past ten, mate,โ Joe answered and although you didnโt know who was calling him, just from his tone of voice you knew it wasnโt work related.
Joe gently rubbed your earlobe between his fingers and it felt so nice, it turned the world blurry as you unfocused your eyes.
When you relaxed back into him, sinking into the line of his body, Joe tilted his head down to look at you, barely catching your little smile but happy to see you were still enticed by whatever was happening on TV.
You werenโt though.
Not really.
Because as Joe spoke, he let his fingers continue what theyโd been doing and if he thought you were able to try to follow his conversation as well as what you were watching whilst he made you melt with his touch, he was wrong.
You were bad at multitasking on a good day, and you knew Joe was too. The fact that he was somehow able to keep you lax and floating whilst simultaneously being mentally present for this phone call was impressive.
Joe laughed through casual conversation with a friend who had some questions about future plans theyโd made. Their chat quickly turned into a hey-now-that-Iโve-got-you-on-the-phone catch up.
The low vibrations from his smooth voice were nice. You felt them where your face rested on his chest and relished in the tender love you were receiving that felt like a second nature sort of thing.
โNo, Iโm just at home. Watching TV.โ
Not being mentioned suddenly made Joes fingers feel a little scandalous. Like the person on the phone wasnโt allowed to know you were there and how he was making you feel right now.
It got a little worse when you felt how Joe let his fingers trail down your neck to disappear into your pyjama top where they slowly caressed over your collarbone.
Your voice let a little noise escape when his hand snuck back up again, finding its way into your hair, and Joe chuckled lowly.
You let yourself balance on the borders of consciousness, half asleep with thoughts so far removed from where you were, yet half laser focused on Joeโs fingers and where they tickled your skin.
Unsure of when youโd drifted off, or when Joe had finished his phone call, the next thing you registered was a soft and low far away, โHave I done a plait?โ that pulled you back into the room a little more.
With your eyes still closed you reached a heavy hand up to feel what was essentially just a twirled strand of hair, not a plait at all.
You couldnโt hide the little smile that spread at how adorable you thought it was that Joeโd just been playing with your hair and thought heโd actually done something.
He hadnโt.
He just made you feel loved, which was actually far better than a plait.
โMhm,โ you hummed approvingly, snuggling up into Joe more, understanding that it was likely much smarter to just get up and find your way into bed, but youโd quite literally never been more comfortable before.
โIโve done a plait.โ Joe whispered, gleefully proud of himself and making sure that you knew, that youโd heard him, give him some praise.
โWell done.โ You lied, because heโd not done a plait, but that was okay.
You werenโt going to shoot yourself in the foot, because you were about to sink back into sleep and there was just one thing thatโd make you feel even more comfortable.
Hey bestie just wondering if u could do a little comfort one shot of our joey, context:
Starting our period in the middle of work(specifically retail but like a 6hr shift) and coming home grumpy and wanting comfort from Joe?
Pls and thank you๐ค
fuck off i can TASTE this request in my bones, what the FUCK - thanks for sending it in babes, love you, mwah ๐ค
Wordcount: 1.8K
---
What Else?
"Babe!" Joe called when he heard the front door go, and he sounded all chipper.
All happy that you were home. Upbeat, and in a good mood. Dripping with joy. Excited to see you, and enthusiastic, and all eager and... no. That was wrong. That was all wrong.
You were none of those things and didn't have any patience for any of those things.
You silently debated ignoring him and slipping into the shower to melt yourself down the drain. Joe hadn't done anything wrong, but it just so happened that the universe had. It wasn't Joe's fault that he was part of that, but he was, and so, one plus one equalled no patience for Joe.
"Babe?" Joe sounded a bit more unsure when you didn't answer him.
"No." you just replied, your voice as flat as you could manage it still.
Joe was going to have to leave you alone for a bit. Not get too close or look you in the eye. You know, for his own safety.
But then you heard rushed footsteps.
"No? What do you mean, no?"
Joe stepped into the hallway and the boy looked like he'd just had the most leisurely day ever, which was wrong.
Wrong thing to look like.
You very much hadn't had a leisurely day, so no one else was allowed to have had one, either.
You were tired, and in a mood, and all your face wanted to do was frown, and if Joe knew what was good for him he'd wipe that stupid smile right off of his face as he closed in on you and curled his arms around your head to hug your face.
He pressed his cheek to yours, and you allowed it.
Just for a second, though.
The kiss he then pressed to your cheek was too much.
Wrong.
"I've got balled up toilet paper in my underwear." you made it sound like a warning. Like Joe was on thin ice, somehow.
"Oh..." Joe said in casual surprise before trying to get another wet kiss in that you leant away from as you frowned deeper and pushed him back.
He hadn't picked up on the cautionary advice you actually never shared.
Wrong.
"Don't touch me."
"Okay, sorry!" Joe comically stepped back and held both his hands up. "Can I touch you when your underwear no longer contains balled up toilet paper?"
You pushed him aside as you made your way to the bathroom.
"No."
Yes, he could. He better. If Joe wasn't going to be nice to you, you'd be even less fun to be around.
"No?" Joe double-checked.
Yes.
"No." You double-downed.
You disappeared into the bathroom and locked the door behind you, and you heard Joe chuckle.
Chuckle.
"Fuck you."
Joe was a bad boyfriend and you could fucking cry.
"Okay." Joe lightly scolded, having obviously heard the soft swearing from inside the bathroom, humour still evident in his voice from behind the door. "Take a second and come find me after."
You had to take a moment to breathe, eyes closed, nostrils flared. If you didn't, you'd lash out and say something you didn't mean. You meant the fuck you. Joe was an adult and could read the room and be gentle instead of laugh at you.
You heard him leave the hallway before you sighed deeply, turned on the shower, and let your brain go silent to the white noise of the water stream.
You washed your hair in the first minute, then sat down and decided you could just stay there for the evening. With your back against the tiles, you hugged your knees tightly, chin atop. Blanketed by the warm water and hidden away from everything else.
Perfect.
After about twenty minutes of sitting in the shower, you heard the door unlock and open.
Joe placed the butterknife he used to break in next to the sink and reached into the shower to turn it off.
"Come on, baby,"
Joe had to squat to help you up.
"Time to dry off."
You wordlessly let yourself be helped onto your feet, and then groaned slightly when Joe held up a big fluffy towel that you stepped into. He hugged you over it as you let yourself sink into him. Joe made sure to hug and squeeze you all over, shifting his arms up and down your body, and it was arguably the best way to get dry after a shower.
"My feet are sore," you complained, eyes wet. "I never want to work again."
"My poor baby," Joe cooed sincerely. "What else?"
"I've got a headache."
"You do?" Joe moved the towel to softly dab your face, careful gentle touches near your eyes, dabbing away shower water as well as the beginnnigs of tears.
"And I want to pull my uterus out of my stomach."
"That sounds messy." Joe kneeled as he dried your legs.
It was so devastating to be upset over a discomfort that you just had to accept, because you were born like this. It was unfair.
"I think I might've bruised my vagina with the toilet paper."
"Hmm," Joe looked, and it seemed fine, but what did he know? He had never had to fold up single ply toiletpaper enough times for it to resemble a pad.
"What else?" Joe's voice was smooth like velvet, no making fun. Just comfort.
"I want to commit a murder."
Joe dried the tops of your feet as you wiped at your face, hot tears of frustration now passing your lashline.
"People are the w-worst and they all need to die."
Joe leant back on his heels and looked up at you, brow creased in what appeared to be genuine sympathy. You thought he may say something reasonable, like, not all people, or whatever. But he didn't. Instead he just cocked his head to the side a little and asked,
"What else?"
That made you sob.
"I want..." you started, breath stuttering. "I wantโ I'm leaking." You felt the trickle of period blood and Joe was quick to swoop in, getting it before you could even look down to see the damage.
"What else, baby? What do you want?" he distracted.
"I want... chocolate. Sugar."
Joe dried you off completely, cleaned and wiped what needed cleaning and wiping and then found a tampon where you kept them.
"I want it to rain, and I want it to be autumn."
You were crying and being unreasonable and it felt great whilst simultaneously feeling the worst.
"Who designed the female bod-dy? Who th-thought of the concept of it? They got it wrong. It's all wrong."
Joe moved like he was going to help insert the tampon, a move that would've made you laugh had you been in a better mood. Now, it just made you take the cotton from his hands as you listed off more things that were wrong with the world.
"My stomach hurts, a-and I'm mad at the government."
Joe just listened. Helped you dress into soft comfortable clothes. Encouraged you to get all of your complaints out. It'd leave the world feeling lighter, he knew. He'd dealt with you on days like these before.
Was nothing new.
He couldn't right any of the wrongs, but he could be sweet and love you with a bit more care than usual.
When you eventually ended up on the sofa together, you were ready to lay down right on top, but Joe stopped you just before you did.
"Can't rub your feet like that. You said you had sore feet, right?"
The way that made your lip wobble made Joe easily accept you in his arms, the way you wanted to lay with him in the first place. He'd get your feet later.
Joe made space between his legs to accommodate you.
With his back comfortably pushed into the sofa cushions and you rubbing your face into the fabric of his T-shirt that covered his chest, Joe decided to ask just one more time.
"Hey," he whispered, wrapping a leg around one of yours. "What else?"
You took a moment to think, but came up blank.
There was nothing else left. You were still annoyed, and tired, and dealing with a dull pain in your lower stomach, but you'd mentioned all of those things already.
There was something you hadn't yet said though.
"M'sorry," you murmured, meaning it with your full chest, but voice only coming out small.
Joe smiled, and he could've made a small joke. Poked fun, just a little.
He didn't.
"I'm sorry I was mean."
Joe just kissed the top of your head
"Can you..." you began, moving a hand up to swipe your wet hair aside.
"Yea of course," Joe's hand found the hem of your T-shirt to pull up, revealing your bare back. You didn't need to finish the question for Joe to know what you were asking for as his finger tips started slowly trailing up and down your back.
Joe felt how you sunk into him more. Felt how your breath was just a strange inhale away from letting emotions seep through the cracks once more. How you burrowed into him even more than he thought was really even possible.
This was all you'd really needed since the moment you'd walked in.
And he'd tried.
He'd called for you.
Knew you'd had a long shift that day.
But you hadn't been ready then.
You'd needed to get a bunch of things out of your system first.
Joe knew.
Knew you.
Joe's tickling fingers felt like heaven, tracing up and down your back inside of your shirt. It was strange how you felt both heavy and light, limbs like lead, but your mind sort of floaty.
You sighed into him as you felt Joe's other leg close in on you, caging you in.
"I really am sorry. When I said no, before, when you asked if you could touch me, I didn't mean that. I didn't mean no."
"Hmm," Joe hummed, and swallowed everything he could say about how he knew you hadn't meant no. How he knew you. There was a reason why he knew how to easily break into the bathroom.
"That's okay. I get to touch you now, don't I?"
You smiled, embarrassed because of your own earlier childish lies.
Joe was a good boyfriend.
"I get to touch you, and hug you, and feel you, and," Joe strained his neck to press a kiss against your hairline. "And kiss you..."
You melted under his affection, and decided you had an important question to ask him as well.
"Yea?" you planted you chin on his chest and looked at your boyfriend, double chins and all, as he looked down at you, gaze warm and dripping with sweet honeyed love for you.
Summary: The upcoming bachelor party that Carmen has to cater causes some tension between him and y/n.ย
Word Count: 9.5kย
warning: alcohol, mentions of throwing up out of nervousness but no one actually does, or even comes close, fighting, smoking
--
Three hundred thousand dollars, what kind of fucking moron takes out three hundred thousand dollars just to blow his brains out and let his younger brother foot the bill. What kind of cosmic douche does that to another person? Y/n would never say something like that out loud but she certainly was thinking it after Carmen told her about the debts that he apparently owes on top of the bills he had yet to pay. In fact, Carmen was barely scraping by, he cut his pay check till all he had was enough to cover rent and the bare bones necessities. Rather than cut anyoneโs pay, or cheaping out on ingredients, he sacrificed almost everything for this restaurant, for his brother. And what did his brother leave him? A three hundred thousand dollar bill. Once again, what a dick.ย
โItโs not-โ Carmen started. โItโs fixable.โ
Y/n didnโt say anything, she continued to scrub the stop top and kept her face neutral when in reality her blood was boiling. Itโs not her debt and she is completely free to run away before this ship sinks but she couldnโt help but stay. She had convinced herself that the reason she stayed was because this horrible and completely fucked restaurant was like a train wreak, you can't help but stand and watch it crash and burn. Definitely not because of any other personal reasons.ย
โWe just have to keep our heads down and get through the year and we can get some money off of our tab.โย
More silence.
They both knew it was a pipe dream, no matter what they did at the restaurant, they could only make an insignificant dent towards the impending debt. Y/n didnโt want to be negative when Carmen was doing his best to not crumble under the pressure so she looked up with a small smile. She wondered if the smile translated as an optimistic smile or a pity smile.
Carmen sighed, leaned against the wall and rubbed his face with his palms in an effort to wipe away some tension. Looks like it translated as a pity smile.ย
โTell me something good, y/n.โย Carmen mumbled through his hands.
It was like the words were lost in her mouth. What could she possibly say? What collection of words makes this shitty situation any better? The answer is none, sometimes words mean nothing. No amount of consoling or baseless optimism could make this situation look good. If you canโt make a shitty situation look good then you should at least make a shitty solution look good.ย
โAt least you have those bachelor parties, you can knock off a few grand.โ Y/n offered.
โYeah,โ Carmen agreed half-heartedly. Looks like she couldnโt make the shitty solution look good either. Y/n gave herself one more attempt to lighten the mood before she sewed her mouth shut, crawled into a hole and died.ย
โAnd let's not forget that your โloan sharkโ is your uncle and he wonโt smash your kneecaps.โ Y/n jokingly muttered, โProbably?โ
Y/n heard Carmen exhale through his nose. Y/n lives to speak and live another day. After testing the waters for the past few months, y/n realized that in order to get Carmen to stop going into crisis mode she had to either talk about a solution or completely distract him.ย
โWhat's the payment situation going to be like? โฆWhat is the interest?โ
โNo โฆno interest, just a clean 300k.โ
โThat's fair, adding interest on a loan like that would be like throwing shit in a septic tank. When is the bachelor party?โ
โUncle Jimmy is coming by tomorrow to give the details for that stupid fucking party.โ
One quality that has persisted through out the years was y/n ability to not know when to shut the fuck up. The trait was helpful when filling the silence between the both of them. Carmen liked to listen more than talk, he didn't have anything to talk about except depressing shit. So when the air was filled with anxiety and tension y/n did what she did best, make a damn fool of herself.
โYou think there's going to be strippers?โ
Carmen looked up from his hands and gave out a laugh out of shock and it sounded like music to y/n ears. She wished she could record it, he really did have a nice smile and she wished he smiled more. Good god, he looked soโฆ soโฆ
โThere will be at least strippers.โ Carmen snickered while hiding his smirk behind his hands. It's like he knew she was waiting for it and was depriving her on purpose. This was a good learning moment for y/n though, shock humor lands well with Carmen.ย
Y/n moved on to scrubbing the floor because she wasnโt able to look Carmen in the eyes after asking, โHave you ever been to a strip club?โย
She didnโt even have to look up to know what kind of look she was getting. She heard a bewildered laugh and looked up and was met withย an amazing view. His head was thrown back and his hand was running through his hair.ย
For a brief moment, y/n tried to convince herself that all of the embarrassment she put herself through wasnโt worth it but after stealing a few glimpses of him she could confidently say it most definitely was.
โNo I havenโt. You?โ He then straightened his head and grabbed a towel and started scrubbing too.
โOf course, I've been. I used to work in one, you know?โ Carmenโs head shot up.
โYeah, but I needed a career change.โ
โYou worked in one? As aโฆ dancer?โ Carmen asked not quite being able to tell if this was a joke or not.
โYou call strippers โdancersโ? What are you, 90? No, I was not a โdancer.โ I was a bartender.โ
โHmmโ Carmen pondered before adding, โI knew you couldn't be one, I saw you slip on air this morning.โย
โMy lack of coordination aside,โ y/n rolled her eyes jokingly, โI spent a lot of time seeing the routines and stuff and I could never, I can barely run a mile let alone swing around on a pole. Those strippers are stronger and braver than the Marines.โย
โI have a cousin in the Marines,โ Carmen added while scrubbing a particularly tough stain.
โTell him that heโs a little bitch.โ
Carmen stopped scrubbing and gwaffed into his fist. On the outside she looked normal but inside she was scratching the skin off her face in joy. She really wanted to seal the deal.
โWould you ever be a stripper?โ
3-0 favoring y/n because Carmen looked up at her and laughed, and not a reserved one. A full one with an open mouth and red face.ย
Holy fuckโฆ what the fuck was she doing? She could be home right now rewatching a nature documentary to unwind.ย She should be asleep right now. It's 12am and here she is sitting with her boss on the floor counting how many times she can make him feel good. And the worst part?ย She was enjoying herself.ย
โI donโt think I would make a good one.โ He said as he moved closer to y/n and scrubbed at another scuff mark.ย
He would make a great one, y/n thought. He has huge arms, a quiet but powerful persona, a sculpted face, and beautiful eyes. Y/n had to resist the impulse to say that she would throw all her money at him right this second.ย
โIt's your eyes.โ Y/n humorously pondered, โTheyโre too intense, am I going to get a lap dance or am I going to get into a long and meaningful relationship?โย
Carmen's gaze lifted towards y/n, and she wrestled the urge to lock her gaze with his mesmerizing cerulean eyes. She wanted to etch into her memory the way the yellowing lights danced upon his irises, as they transitioned shades, but the flutters in her stomach were making her woozy.ย
Y/n was a coward, so unsurprisingly she looked away, but not before stupidly adding, โYou could add a blindfold to your act, I bet that would make the girls go wild.โย
What in the flying fuck was she talking about, y/n screamed in her head. Y/n had some nerve calling The Beef a train wreck when she was watching herself crash and burn and not being able to stop herself. It felt like an out of body experience, like she was watching someone else fuck up her life.ย
Carmen looked like he was thinking about something and y/n wondered if she would have the courage to pick up her last check after she got her ass fired.ย
โJudging by the amount of shit I have to deal with in this stupid fucking place, being a stripper is starting to look more and moreโฆโ Carmen stared at y/n for a split moment,ย โtempting.โย
Y/n was glad that he had inadvertently stopped her from saying something really stupid but she needed a quiet place all to herself so she could squeal like a teenage girl.
After a few moments of comfortable silence, y/n was starting to notice how close they were and in order to stop herself from getting a sued for sexual harassment she forced herself to call it a night, and that was a tough call to make. Y/n smiled at Carmen before softly mummering, โCarmy, youโve got a big day tomorrow why donโt we get you home?โ
Carmen's posture straightened, and a slight haze seemed to veil his eyes. Rising to his feet, he extended a hand towards y/n. In the instant their palms met, a surge of thoughts flooded y/n's mind, realizing how deeply she would miss this touch once they released. The fleeting moment barely allowed her to relish the sensation, leaving her with only a passing recollection of his handโwarm, calloused, and undeniably strong.
After grabbing their stuff from the lockers, y/n glanced at her phone that showed 12:14am. The walk home was going to be a real bitch. Carmen did one last walk through before leaving. Y/n could have left after she got her stuff but she stayed for a bit longer. She leaned against the windows of The Beef watching Carmen leave the restaurant and lock the door. He didn't look a bit surprised at her still waiting for him, he knew she would always be there waiting. It was a tradition, they would close up and he would walk y/n to her car. He would wait till y/n car was completely out of sight before he climbed into his car and drove to his place.ย
โWhere did you park your car?โ Carmen asked while shuffling through his bag to find his own car keys.ย
โMy car is at the shop, I'm going to walk home.โย
โYou're going to walk home after dark? It's like 1 in the morning?โ
โIt's 12:30 and it's not that big of a deal, and if I get tired I'll just uber the rest of the way home.โ
โThat's how people get kidnapped, y/nโ
โDon't worry, even if I do get kidnapped, I'll still miraculously make it to work on time tomorrow, and I'll have an epic tale to share for years to come." Y/n joked. "Why donโt I walk you to your car for a change? Where did you park?"
Carmen hesitated, not because he didn't want to offer a ride but because he didnโt want to overstep any boundaries. It's just a ride home, it's not like ridesharing amongst coworkers is something new.ย
โLet me drive you home. This is not a great neighborhood.โ
โMy place is opposite from your place, I'm not going to hold you hostage. Go home, you have a big day tomorrow.โ Y/n pulled up Google maps to see how long the walk would take, 35 minutes wasn't too bad.ย
โIt's fine, I wasn't going to sleep right away anyways.โ
Y/n shot a disapproving look. "Do you honestly think I was born yesterday? I mean, come on. You're planning to stay up late after a long day at work today and another one tomorrow?"
โLet me do this for youโฆPlease.โ
Y/n was contemplating beating his ass with one of the 2x4s lying around, how fucking dare he look at her like that when she is already holding her self back from jumping his bones. It was maddening. In that moment, the streetlight cast an ethereal glow upon his hair, transforming it into strands of pure gold. She couldn't deny the captivating effect it had on her. And that infuriating expression he wore, as if he had the power to make her surrender to his every whim, was driving her wild. If he had asked for her kidney with that look, she might have found herself on her knees, desperately clawing at her own abdomen to fulfill his request.
โOk, thank you so much Carmen. You really areโฆkind.โ Y/n tried not to look at his eye because she knew that she would feel another flutter and now she had an audience watch her throw up from overstimulation.ย
โItโs the least I can do.โ Carmen didnโt have the courage to thank her for making him feel better about the restaurantโs financial situation so this was the best he could do.ย
They both walked to Carmenโs car in silence. Y/n had an unstoppable itch to fill the silence with some asinine conversation but she resisted. She knew as soon as she got home she would scream into her pillow for bringing up strippers and blindfolds to her boss, and she didnโt want to add more things to cringe about. They could be 85 and she would still pucker her face when remembering this night.ย ย
They finally walked up to Carmenโs car, and Carmen opened y/nโs door for her. Y/n had to keep from fainting right then and there, she was a grown woman and Carmen was doing the bare minimum by helping out an employee and here she was fighting a blush. He walked over to the driver side and started the car.ย
โYou good?โย
โSorry.โ Y/n hands were shaking from the nerves.
โI can't find the seat belt connector thing, it's too dark."ย
Carmen wordlessly grabbed the seatbelt from the base and trailed down the belt, softly grazing his knuckle on her collarbone before gently taking the buckle from y/n's hands and guiding it to the right place.ย
Y/n mumbled a soft thanks. They both looked away for a second, both of them completely floored by Carmenโs boldness. Y/n couldnโt take this anymore she needed to get out of here before she became a stuttering mess, โLet me look up the directions, Iโm geographically blind so I need Google to tell me where to go. I've been working here for months and I still need someone to tell me to get home.โ Carmen pushed his tongue against his cheek to stifle another laugh.ย
โGeographical blindโ, who says that? That's literally the lamest fucking thing you could possibly say. Y/n was going to go home and watch a few meditation videos in the hope that she learns how to shut the fuck up.ย
The ride back was nice and quiet. Y/n was too tired to talk and she was starting to feel guilty for making Carmen drive her home, he should be even more tired than her. They finally pulled over to y/nโs place, and she sat in the car for a few seconds to ground herself before she looked over to Carmen who was looking straight through the windshield.ย
โThanks again Carmen.โย
โWill your car be back tomorrow?โย
โThe day after.โย
โIโll drop you off tomorrow then.โ
โThat's too much Carmen, You arenโt obligated to do this. Iโll just leave a little earlier so I can catch a train.โ Carmen looked like he was not satisfied with that response. Y/n didnโt want to leave early because she liked her time alone with Carmen but she couldnโt keep imposing.ย
โIโll drop you off, it's not a big deal.โ He left no room for negotiation.ย
Y/n smiled at him before grabbing her purse. Carmen got out of the car and walked around to y/nโs side to open her door. Y/n got out with as much grace as a toddler, she really needed to go to bed.ย
โCarmen, you really are tooโฆ you're just tooโฆโ Y/n struggled to find a good enough word before mindlessly blurting out, โGood.โย
Y/n couldnโt see his face because the streetlamp was too far to illuminate his face so she didnโt know if she made him uncomfortable.ย
โThanks again, Iโll see you tomorrow Carm.โ Y/n softly mumbled before walking into her building and while waiting for the elevator she saw that Carmen was still leaning against the car door. She gave him a small smile not seeing if she got one back. The elevator ride up was filled with y/n jumping, dry heaving, and overall panic induced mayhem. The second hand embarrassment was too much. The elevator dinged and she went into her place and looked out the window to really burn the memory into her brain. This is the exact date and location where Carmen dropped her off.ย
She was surprised to see that he was still there. Everyone at work knew what apartment building she lived in because she invited them over for dinner recently, so it wasnโt a surprise that he knew the general area on where to look for her apartment.ย
She flicked on the lights and picked up her phone to dial him and watched as his silhouette fumble around toย find his phone.ย
Carmen spoke first, โI just wanted to make sure youโฆโ
โI got home safe.โ Y/n opened her window before giving him a wave from five stories.ย
Y/n continued, โGo home, chef, I want to see you bright and early tomorrow.โ She saw a blur of what she deciphered as a wave.ย
โNight y/nโ
And with that y/n closed her window and Carmen drove off. It was 1 in the morning so she didnโt jump or scream into her pillow like she intended to because her neighbors would kill her. So she settled for a shower and eventually passed out.ย
Y/n was not a morning person my all means and told Carmen as an off handed comment a few months back. He offered her later hours so she didnโt need to come in super early for prep but she could stay to clean up. She got ready and got to the restaurant at around 11:30 am, where she found Carmen, Richie and an older man seated on a table at the far corner of the restaurant.
ย Before she could slip away to make herself busy in the kitchen, she was called over by the older gentlemen with a finger curl. Y/n turned around assuming that he was indicating someone else only to find that no one else was there but her. She looked over again and pointed at herself and Richie rolled his eyes before kicking the chair next to him to indicate that she was to sit. Y/n took off her headphones and sat across from the old guy and in between the cousins. Carmen looked up and wordlessly gave her a polite greeting.ย
If this was money problems why is this old fart calling me over?ย
Awkward silence.
โGood morning.โ Y/n started.
โMorning, did Carmen fill you in?โ Carmenโs โuncleโ asked.
"I'd be delighted to put a name to your face. I'm y/n," she said with a warm smile.
โI'm Ciceroโฆโ Y/n pretended to look a bit puzzled, โUncle Jimmy, yes, yes, Carmen told me you were coming todayโ
No one filled the silence so y/n stepped in.ย
โAs much as I love the mystery, I do have work to doโฆsoโฆwhy am I here?โย
Cicero spoke up, โCarmyโs got that catering gig at that bachelor party on Friday and we were wondering if you would like to help.โ
โCatering to a bunch of drunks on Friday night, seems like exhilaratingโ Y/n said sarcastically.ย โI'll be there. Iโve got to the kitchen, I shouldnโt leave Tina alone with my prep-โย
โLook, I'm going to be honest with youโฆโ Cicero continued, Y/n glanced sideways at both Richie and Carmen but they looked as confused as she did.ย
โDid you work out front a week ago?โ Cicero asked.
โI covered for Richie on Tuesday?โ
โOne of the guys, the groom, saw you and thought youโฆlookedโฆโ It looked like he was embarrassed to finish what he wanted to say. โThey want you to be there.โ Cicero finished.
โThis is what you were holding off on, weโve been sitting here for 20 minutes in fucking silence so you could solicit a fucking chef?โ Richie said in confusion before laughing and leaning back to glance at Carmen on the far right who was visibly livid, which caused him to laugh even more obnoxiously.ย
โBe there and do what?โ Y/n pondered, a flicker of concern crossing her mind. She couldn't help but wonder if this was how human trafficking stories began. She wasnโt really paying attention to either Carmen or Richie, but she could feel that it was getting tense on her right, where Carmen was seated.
โI'm just going to rip off the bandaid. They want you there to serve drinks.โ Y/n couldnโt hide the look of bewilderment and relief.ย
โJesus, you were making it seem like I was going to have to sleep with themโฆYes I can serve drinks. Iโll be thereโ Y/n got up from her chair and Cicero added.
โDo you know what a Hurricane Shot is, y/n?โย
Y/n immediately sat right back down, she let out a laugh and she was in decent company because Richie was also dying right next to her.
Carmen looked up after trying to burn a hole into his table. โWhat the fuc-โ Carmen fumed.ย
โWhatโs the pay like?โ Y/n asked.
โWithout you 5k, with 10kโ. That made Richie stop laughing.ย
โLet me think about it.โย
Y/n got up and walked out back. She stole a quick glance at Carmen who was sharing some choice words with his โuncle.โ Y/n thought that she might as well get back to work. She was going to serve drinks no matter what but she had a feeling that she would get some resistance.ย
The rest of the shift was relatively slow and Carmen was in his office for most of the day. Around 8, it looked like there weren't going to be any more customers so Carmen finally got out of his cave and let everyone leave early. He stood with his back straight and arms crossed in front of his office, his eyes narrowed at y/n. Y/n thought she could not deal with the brunt of this confrontation by herself, so she looked at Richie trying to nonverbally communicate for him to stay. Luckily, Richie understood and stayed and it was just the three of them alone at the restaurant.ย
Carmen went inside and it was implied that the both of them should follow.ย
โI'm going to serve at that party.โ Y/n whispered.
โYeah, no shit you are.โ Richie agreed while whispering a lot less quietly.ย
โIt's 10 grand.โ Y/n reasoned
โWho says no to 10 fucking grand?โ Richie exclaimed.
They both walked over to the office. Y/n stood against the wall, it felt like she was being sent to the principal's office.ย
The silence was killing y/n so she started, โIt's just one day.โ
โOnly a few hoursโ Richie offered
โWhich is basically just a few minutes.โ Y/n reasoned.ย
โWhich is really just a few seconds.โ Richie added.
More silence.ย
โIt's a lot of money cousin, and y/n is up for it.โ
โYeah, 10k in a few hours. I mean it would be totally crazy to say no.โ Y/n remarked.
โYou would be fucking crazy to say no.โย
โYeah, Carmen, it would be pure idiocy to say no.โ Y/n chimed in.
Carmen rubbed his temple and then looked up. โThat is not happening. You arenโt doing this.โย
โIt's 10k, Carmen, and all I have to do is pour some drinks. It's like money is just falling on our laps, we have to take advantage of this golden opportunity.โ Y/n added, โGod helps those who help themselves.โย
โYou're religious?โ Richie questioned
โNo, but heโs Italian and they're religious, right? I thought it might help my case.โ Y/n whispered.
โI can fucking hear the both of you.โ Carmen was annoyed and y/n realized she didnโt really know how to convince him to let her help him.ย
โWhat specific issue do you have with me bartending at this party?โ If she got to the root of the problem she could find a solution that helped ease his worries.ย
Carmen brooded in his corner. People didnโt give Richie enough credit, he was pretty good at reading a room and he knew that it would be better if he left Carmen to y/n.ย
โI got something tonight.โ Richie spewed out before turning around to get the hell out of there. As he was about to leave he mouthed You got this? Y/n gave him a subtle thumbs up.
They both stood in silence hearing the sounds of Richie walking around the kitchen to grab his keys and get his charger in the front, and eventually the door chimed meaning that it was now just Carmen and y/n.ย
โTell me what the issue is. Do you have safety concerns?โย
โThat's one of many concerns.โ Carmen knew he was being difficult but he couldnโt let this happen.ย
โI'm just pouring drinks, I'm not going to be doing anything super dangerous.โย
โYou are going to be pouring drinks for coked out dickheads. How is that not dangerous?โ
โItโs nothing I havenโt done before. Besides, your uncle told me that I'm going to be giving hurricane shots, if anything I'm the dangerous one.โ
Carmen looked up and furrowed his eyebrows. โDo I even want to know what that is?โ
โYou donโt know what it is?โ Y/n had to resist snickering. โSo basically, you would take a shot, then I would splash water on you and slap youโฆDo you want to see a video?โ Y/n ushered Carmen to the only chair in the office.
Carmen didnโt know why he was humoring this and he didnโt want to admit it but he was wondering what the appeal of getting slapped was. If it's just slapping a few guys then maybe it wasnโt too badโฆ
Y/n pulled up a video and any bit of him that could have been convinced to let this happen shriveled up and died. It was a video of a woman in a very revealing dress sitting on a table splashing and slapping horny middled aged fucks. Absolutely not.ย ย
Y/n looked up from the video and saw that she made it worse. Carmen was sitting silently in his worn out chair, not even looking at the video just staring at the floor.ย
Carmen felt a hand on his shoulder and felt y/n come closer, he could feel her breath on his neck and it was making it hard to breathe. Softly, y/n whispered, โCarmen, you are being perfectly reasonable and very respectful but this is a once in a lifetime situation.โย
A soft pause passed while y/n was trying to formulate the right words.
โYou do so much for me so let me take care of you, Carmy.โ Y/n rarely called him that and the name slid down his spine causing him to shiver.ย
Without even having time to think about what just came out his mouth, he mumbled a soft โyeahโ. Carmen looked just as shocked as y/n. Neither of them were expecting that, y/n was expecting to have to postpone convincing him till tomorrow.ย
Now the next hurdle was making sure that Carmen didnโt change his mind. โWhy donโt you stay with me during the party? That way if anything happens you'll be there. Will you be my designated bodyguard for the night, Carmen?" Y/n playfully feigned a pout, allowing Carmen to remain silent, sensing that he might need some space to process the request
She slipped out before taking a deep breath, Jesus that was stressful. People killed each other for 10k and he was just going to throw it away. Y/n wasnโt going to let that happen, even if he said no she would have snuck into that party and got Carmen his 10k.ย
She surveyed the kitchen, it was spotless. There really wasnโt much to do because the other chefs had done most of it but she had a feeling that if she left Carman alone, he would change his mind. So, she did what she did every single day, scrub these stupid floors.ย ย
A few minutes had passed and y/n was wondering about what she should wear to an event like that? A small dress was a necessity but she only had a small black one from her college years. Would it even fit, it's been years since she last put it on? She needed to find her old pair of black pumps from college too, she knew they were deep in her closet. And while she scrubbed and planned her outfit for Friday, Carmen came out of his office and joined her wordlessly, taking the towel from y/nโs hands and scrubbing for her.ย
He finally looked up, โI will be by your side the entire time. You canโt go anywhere unless I can see you-โ
โWhat if I have to use the bathroom?โย
โNo.โย
โNo?โ
โWhat if some sleazy fucker is waiting in the bathroom?โ
โI doubt it. But ok, I'll hold it.โ
โYou can't cross the counter.โ Y/n wasnโt going to anyways.ย
โAnd I have to drive you home.โ That stupefied y/n.ย
โWhat? Why?โย
โWhat if one of those limp dicked pervs follows you home?โ
โCarmen, youโre thinking too much. You donโt need to worry about me.โย
โIโm not letting you do this unless-โย
โAlright Carmen. We will do this your way.โ Y/n gave him a smile to show that they were good.ย
Carmen quickly glanced down and continued scrubbing the floor. The rest of the night was spent cleaning the floor and eventually neither of them could come up with any other excuses to stay together. There is only so much time you can spend scrubbing and organizing an already spotless kitchen.
They both went back to the lockers, grabbed their stuff, did a final walk through, and locked up. Carmen drove her home, y/n said goodbye through the phone and waved out the window. Y/n knew that this routine couldnโt last because she would pick up her car tomorrow morning but she was debating slashing a few tires just to make this last a bit longer.ย
The next day y/n came in at 11:30 and was pulled aside by Richie.ย
โIs it handled?โ
โIt's a bartending gig not an assassination. And yes.โ
โThat bastard said yes?โ Shocked didnโt really cover what Richie felt.
Y/n shrugged her shoulders, โI know you wanna crack a few jokes but he is tethering and I don't want him to-โ
โNo wise cracks.โ
โAlso, the crew thinks I'm catering, could you keep the bartending underwraps.โ
โSure thing princess.โ
โDo not-โ
They were cut off by Fak and y/n took that as her sign to leave. Other than that, the day was exactly the same. The only other difference was that at the end of the night she had to walk to her car with Carmen.ย
โYou can back out, you know. This debt is my brother'sโฆ and now it's mine. You shouldn't get involved in this shit show.โ
โDo you feel like you're taking advantage of me?โ Carmen didnโt say anything.ย
โHow about you give me the day off tomorrow and we'll call it even. Paid leave.โย
Carmen smirked, โThat's not really even.โย
โI'm giving you less than 24 hours notice and donโt even have a good reason to miss work tomorrow, I'm being a bad employee and you're going to let me get away with it. It seems plenty even to me.โ They had ended their night relatively early, it was only 11pm and y/n wanted a few more minutes with Carmen, so she took a few wrong turns. Was that a selfish thing to do?ย Yes. But did it feel right? Also, yes.ย
They finally โfound" her car. Carmen opened the door for her after she unlocked it. Y/n pulled out her parking spot and then drove off. But she didnโt forget to wave out the window and in the rear view window she could see that he was waving back. Y/n drove for a few minutes before double parking in an open street to rest her forehead on the steering wheel. She rolled up her windows and squealed. It felt good to be able to do that after holding it in for the last few days. She composed herself and drove home.ย
The next morning was brutal because she had to completely gut her closet to find that black dress and heels. After a few hours she found them in the same box that held her cap and gown. She laid them on her bed and then went to get a haircut. On her way back she saw a tattoo parlor and walked in and asked if they had any temporary tattoos lying around. They found one wedged between some binders, it was a large rose.ย
The night was quickly approaching and she had to leave soon. She had finished getting ready and right as she was about to leave she remembered the rose tattoo. Y/n ran to the skin, and peeled her dress up leaving her thigh exposed and placed the rose tattoo there. She grabbed a long black jacket and then she called an uber to take her to The Beef. The jacket covered up her cleavage but her legs were mostly bare and she regretted not wearing a pair of sweats for the commute.ย
The restaurant was closed slightly early but it still was pitch black when she got there. Richie and Carmen were finishing up moving chairs and tables. Y/n walked in and the chime alerted them that y/n had arrived.ย
โHey guys. When does the party start? Am I too early?โ
Carmenโs face betrayed nothing so she couldnโt really tell what he was thinking. Richie smirked, โThe band of dickheads are coming in about 20 minutes.โย
โCan I see what the booze situation looks like?โ She got a short tour of what the food and drinks situation was going to look like. She hadnโt taken off her jacket because it was still a bit chilly.
โCarmen, can you turn up the heat?โ Carmen walked over to the thermostat in his office to adjust it to y/n comfort. With only 5 minutes before the party was supposed to start, y/n thought she might as well take the jacket off.
โI feel a bit out of place, I'm the only one dressed up.โย
Richie gwaffed,โ Donโt worry youโll be in good company with the strippers. Honestly, who's going to know the difference.โ Y/n raised a cup of iced water to chuck at Richie.
โHey, save that for our esteemed guests.โ Richie said as he walked as far as possible to avoid getting splashed.ย
Just as y/n was about to tell Riche to fuck off, Carmen walked in. He took one look at y/n and spent the next few seconds trying to generate a coherent thought. The first wave of guests came in and Carmen lost his chance to say something but it's not like he could come up with anything marginally comprehensible anyways. In a few hours the party was in full swing. Richie was sitting in the kitchen but the thumping music, the smell of booze, the reverberating sound of obnoxious drunk laughter was giving him a migraine so he went outside for an hours long smoke break, he wondered how Carmen was doing.
Carmen was not doing fine, he was doing horrible. The lights, music, and dancing were making him nauseous. But the thing that really tested his patience was the guys ogling at you. Y/n wasnโt really paying attention to any of the guys but they were getting more and more drunk.ย
The room was lit with purple and blue lights and it was difficult to tell what was happening, and even though he knew it was wrong that didnโt stop Carmen from taking a few peeks at y/n back side throughout the night. If the back was rendering him speechless he could only imagine what the front looked like. The thought that these piss pots were seeing her would send him into a blind rage but the fact that each one of them would get hit in the face made it a bit more digestible.ย
A guy came up to y/n, and Carmen walked right up to them to know why this fuckhead was talking to her. The groom had asked for the first hurricane shot. Y/n sent him away for a few minutes to give her time to set up. She turned to Carmen and gave him a mischievous smirk.ย
โPayback time.โย
Even though they were in a very crowded room, y/n smirk made him forget it. It was a small and private gesture and no one else would be privy to see it. It was just for Carmen and no one else. That made him feel a bit better.ย
Y/n and Carmen filled up cups with very cold water just to make it hurt even more. Carmen started to put ice in the water and when y/n saw what he was doing she threw her head back to laugh. The laugh made his heart flutter but the feeling of her hand grasping him to ground herself sent a shiver down his back and it wasn't because both their hands were ice cold now.ย
The room was so loud that they needed to come close to the otherโs ear just to hear each other.
โYou gotta put a bit more ice in this one, Carmen โ
โWhoโs getting this special order?โ Carmen smirked, he was having fun.ย
โThe groom of course. Why are you asking a stranger you meet once to slap you across the face when you have a fiancรฉe at home? Also, what kind of sick fuck gets drunk, high, and a hand job from a stripper the week before his wedding? That level of dickbaggary deserves a face full of welts.โ Carmen covers his mouth to hide his smirk.ย
โIt's so tacky andโฆandโฆyuck. Hard pass.โย
Carmen took that information and stored it in his vault; no drinking, drugs, or girls of any kind during his future bachelor party. He wasnโt going to do the last two anyways, but he never wanted y/n to feel โyuckโ about him so he would sacrifice the alcohol for his own bachelor party.ย
โHave you seen the women here? Very pretty.โ Y/n teased.
Y/n didnโt really know why she even brought it up, She spent the entire night facing the crowd and got an eye full of many tits and she knows Carmenโs witnessing the same scene.ย Being surrounded by a sea of stunning and jaw dropping women had triggered a sense of insecurity within her. Yet, she reminded herself that those women were there to captivate with their beauty, while her role was to serve food and drinks. And to be fair, some of her customers have dropped their jaws after eating her food, balancing the scales of admiration. As such, any lingering immaturity or jealousy dissipated into the air.
The source of unease wasn't the presence of other women, but rather Carmen himself.ย Y/n had previously worked at a strip club and hadn't experienced this level of jealousy before. But now, with Carmen by her side, she found herself questioning whether he was comparing her to the other women at the party. Did she even register on his radar amidst the crowd? While their relationship remained strictly that of coworkers and friends, she appreciated that Carmen hadn't abandoned her. However, she couldn't help but feel conflicted about his presence, as she didn't want him to witness the spectacle of beautiful women giving drunk idiots lap dances.
Carmen looked up at her while his head was still bent down filling cups with ice, โUhh, I havenโt really taken a look.โย
Y/n doubted that but she didnโt want to protest, so she hid her insecurity behind jokes.ย
โYou should, Mrs. Berzatto could be in this crowd.โย
โI can guarantee you that they are not.โ Carmen pushed. Y/n chuckled and Carmen could swear he saw her eyes glow.
โHey, today has probably been really stressful. You can let go for a bit. You know, blow off some steam. There are plenty of women who would love to give you a lap dance. You know that pretty blond has been eyeing you since she came in.โ Y/n pointed in some general direction with a straw but Carmen didnโt even look up from the water cups.ย
Carmen looked into y/nโs eyes and was trying to decipher this puzzle she had put in front of him. She was telling him to go and talk to other women and even though her tone, face, and behavior was exactly the same as before, he couldn't shake off a faint undercurrent of tension emanating from her
โI like it here.โ
โSo you like to watch.โ Y/n smirked while turning around to fill a styrofoam cup with sprite from the soda dispenser to cool herself. She was trying to be cool but it was coming off as vaguely threatening, she needed to get her shit together.ย
Carmen turned around so he was facing her direction then placed his elbows on the counter and looked up at her with those killer eyes, โYeah I do.โ
โMr. Berzatto, have you been drinking youโve gotten, dare I say, bold?โ
Carmen raised his eyebrows in a joking manner and y/n could swear that she saw stars glisten in his irises. God, was he handsome or what?ย
โI think it's time to get this show on the road.โ Y/n turned around to walk around the counter so she could hop on top, she couldn't do it from behind the counter because it was filled with liquor and cups and she would knock everything over. Just as y/n was going to walk out the counter, a muscular arm blocked her from leaving. She furrowed her eyebrows, and looked up at his eyes.ย
โYou promised, you wouldnโt.โ
โI can't get to the counter from hereโฆwhy donโt you walk me over there, so that no one bothers me. Earn your keep bodyguardโ Y/n softened her eyes to convince Carmen, and to her surprise he let out a sigh before removing his arm and leading her to the other side of the counter glaring at anyone who even thought about looking at y/n. Y/nโs dress was so tight and short that she couldnโt really get up without flashing everyone. She looked up at Carmen and told him about the situation she was in and how she needed a chair or something.ย
Carmen brought his face close to y/n so she could clearly hear, โCan I touch you?โ
Holyโฆmotherโฆofโฆfuck. Y/nโs brain flat lines and she stumbles out a quick and breathy โyesโ.ย
Carmen put his hands on her waist and y/n linked her hands behind his neck and just as y/n was about to close the gap, she let out a yelp as she was hoisted onto the counter. She is starstruck, her heart is beating fast and she is resisting the urge to kiss him from up here. She had to remind herself that he was just being helpful.ย
"Tattoo?"
Y/n was a mess and she needed a few seconds to understand what he was saying, "It's fake, so that if anyone takes any pictures I can pretend it's not me." It took all of y/n's will power to connect these words together. It was getting hard to think.
Carmen took one more look at y/n stradling the counter before reaching over the counter to grab the same straw y/n used to point at some other women, and lighty dragged it across her knee.ย
โYour past the counter, chefโย
Y/n was in a daze, her knee felt like it was on fire and that was just from a straw. She wordlessly got up on her knees and kneeled on the counter.ย
Carmen walked right back to behind the counter and passed her a heavy cup.
โFor our guest of honor.โ Carmen grinned. He was making her lose her breath,ย y/n was going to pass out and fall off this counter.ย
Y/n took the cup of water and a shot of tequila from Carmen. Their pinkies brushed each other and sent an electric shock up her arm.ย
โMake it hurt.โย
Y/n gleamed. She turned towards the crowd and shouted out a short introduction before calling over the groom. She passed him the shot which he downed in record time, y/n shot a quick glance at Carmen, before splashing the water right on his face and just and he slightly relaxed his face from the original impact of the icy water, y/n gave him a loud and painful slap. The sound echoed through the restaurant, and it became silent for a brief second before cheers erupted from the crowd. The noise makes Richie peek his head inside to see what the commotion was about. The groom's face was already bright red from the alcohol and the ice and somehow the right side of his cheek looks like someone painted it scarlet, y/n gave a thumbs up to Carmen, who to her surprise returned one back. A line began to form and while y/n was making everyone pay for being annoying dicks, Carmen called over Richie.ย
โIts fucking boiling in hereโ Carmen commented, โCan you go into my office and turn the thermostat down to like 60-65 and grab my jacket.โ Richie looked like he wanted to make some smart comment but the sound of another slap echoing derailed his train of thought.ย Richie took one look at y/n, and Carmen wanted to curse him out and punch him across the face, but he refrained. โRichie, the fucking thermostat.โ
Richie complained but Carmen wasnโt paying attention and so he left and turned the thermostat down and threw the jacket over the counter.
โWhen is this shit show supposed to end?โ Richie asked while judging the guests in the most unsubtle way possible.ย
โTwo more hours.โ Carmen said while looking at y/n. Richie rolled his eyes and left and Carmen was starting to feel the cold air coming from the air vent on top of them. Y/n was starting to feel chilly too and looked over at Carmen who was already handing her a nice wool jacket, his wool jacket. She slipped it on and Carmen felt like he could finally breathe. He was beating himself for not coming up with something like this sooner. The stupid shots were finished and y/n was ready to come down from the counter.ย
โMy ass and thighs are numb.โ Y/n said while rubbing them. Just as she looked up towards the crowd she saw that Carmen was right next to her ready to help her come down. Y/n was feeling bold, almost invincible from spending the last 30 minutes slapping men.ย
โWould you like a shot?โ She asked with a raised eyebrow. โYouโve seen a million guys take it, arenโt you curious?โย
Carmen was struggling to come up with something to say, he didnโt even know how to react. โI have to drive you home.โ His stare was making y/n feel like she was burning from the inside.ย
โA shot of water?โ y/n offered.ย
Carmen thought to himself, what would he regret more? Taking the shot or not taking it?
He extended his hand towards the water pitcher behind the counter to pour himself a shot of water. Y/n grabbed one of the ice cups and scooped the ice with her left hand and dumped half of the remaining water on the already flooded floor. She wanted to avoid making this as painful as possible. Y/n took off the jacket and set it down on the counter next to her. She tucked her right hand in between her thighs to keep them warm so it would sting a lot less. Carmen took one long look at where her right hand was settled and then locked onto her eyes,ย
โHit me with your best shot, chef.โย
Carmen downed the shot before locking eyes with y/n. Y/n splashed the water on his face and gave him a solid slap. Not as hard as the others were getting but not so soft that she would be accused of chickening out. Carmenโs face whipped to the left before coming back to his previous position.ย
โHow was that, chef?โย
It must have been the lights or the fatigue but y/n could have sworn that he glanced at her lips. Carmenโs hands circle around y/n waist to bring her down. He carried her a few feet away from where they previously were so that y/n wouldnโt step on the puddle, set her down and walked her back behind the counter.ย
โI can understand the appeal.โ Carmen murmured. Y/n looked at him incredulously before laughing in shock.ย
Y/n was about to tease him a bit before she heard shouting from the crowd. โDo you want to step out? I think I need a breakโย
Carmen welcomed a break. He handed y/n his jacket and ushered her outside where Richie was smoking. They had forgotten he was still there.
โIt's nauseating in there.โ Y/n exhaled.ย
Carmen pulled out a cigarette in an effort to calm down. They were no longer in a party where they could pretend they had no outside obligations. He had pushed the bounds of their relationship and he wondered if the lights, music, alcohol, and seclusion together was only affecting him. He closed his eyes and inhaled. Y/n crouched down because her feet were killing her. She could feel the blisters forming but she was going to be a trooper. All she wanted to do was lay down. Carmen crouched down to match her height and raised his eyebrows to ask what was wrong.ย
โI need to go to bed.โย
โ20 minutes left. You can wait in the car and get some rest. I can cover for you.โย
โI need to see this place after itโs cleared out. I think I forgot what it looked like before we had it packed with drunk chodes.โ That earned her a snicker from both Carmen and Richie.ย
A sense of tranquil silence enveloped them, providing y/n with a much-needed opportunity to gather her thoughts. She realized that she had to prevent herself from getting lost in the overwhelming depth of Carmen's presence. It was becoming clear that she had two choices: either distance herself from him entirely or bridge the gap between them, instead of remaining in their current state of avoidance, where everything seemed to be ignored.
Just as she was about to turn over to Carmen to ask him if he was free tomorrow night, a loud thump was heard inside the restaurant followed by a crash. Next came the screaming. Y/n and Carmen stood up and looked inside the window to see what got Richie to rush inside.
โShitโ Carmen exclaimed before running inside to stop the groomsmen from fighting. A wave of women ran out. Y/n didnโt go inside till the noise died down, she knew she would just get in the way. She pushed the door open and saw some guy laying on the ground with a bloody head. She scrambled to find a towel from the counter and then applied pressure on his head. Carmen had already called 911 and Richie was just staring with his eyes wide and hand on his head.ย
The next few hours were a blur. The ambulance picked up the guy that was knocked out. The police came and took Richie, and everyone else was either taken by police for questioning or they left for the cops to get there.ย
Y/n and Carmen were the only ones left standing on the pavement with little to no energy left. It felt like their bones were the only things holding them upright. Y/n didnโt have the energy to fill the empty space. So the trick to shutting her mouth was being tired, she could save herself from a lifetime of embarrassment by working herself to the bone so she wouldnโt have the energy to make a fool of herself.ย
She started snickering which slowly devolved to full laughter, she held on to Carmenโs arm to steady herself. Y/n from 5 hours ago would never have touched Carmen under any circumstances unless he initiated it first but she was losing it. She was starting to feel light, like this wasnโt real. Like she didnโt see Richie bash some fuckerโs skull in. Or that she spent the last few hours flirting with her boss just for nothing to come from it. Carmen could only just watch.ย
โLet's get you home.โ Carmen slowly ushered her towards his car.ย
Y/n laughter died down. โI canโt go home, not with Richie in jail.โย
โYou need some sleepโย
โAnd you donโt? Where are you going after this? Visiting Richie?โ Carmen didnโt reply or look up at her.
Y/n went back inside, grabbed her black jacket and ran as fast as her shitty heels and blisters would let her.ย
"I'm ready," y/n exclaimed with determination, taking confident strides towards Carmen's car. Carmen watched, momentarily transfixed and still processing the whirlwind of the past few hours. Y/n had laughed heartily as a coping mechanism, but inside, Carmen felt a deep sense of anguish, fearing the possibility of losing yet another loved one. He yearned to join in the laughter, knowing he couldn't do it without y/n by his side. Shaking off his thoughts, he quickly jogged over to where y/n stood, matching her pace as they proceeded towards the car together.
The car ride was silent, as both of them were fighting the urge to sleep. They got to the police station and y/n was so out of it she barely understood what groomsman status was and what would happen to Richie when the police officer explained it to her and Carmen. They were led to a seating area where they had to wait. Carmen threw his body on the bench and y/n followed suit. It was chilly and Carmen was wearing a shirt, so she slowly slipped off the jacket to hand it over. She felt firm pressure on her shoulders preventing her from bringing the jacket down.
โKeep it on, it's cold hereโ Carmen muttered.ย
โI have a jacketโย
โIt's too light.โ Carmenโs eyes were drooping. Y/n sat back on the bench and tried to sleep sitting down but it wasnโt working. Carmenโs eyes were already closed so she shifted on the bench and laid her head on his lap.ย
Once Carmen had confirmed she was fully asleep, he draped her thin black jacket over her legs and floated into unconsciousness.ย
Carmen was shaken awake and woke up in a jolt. He eyeโs meet Richieโs and it felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.ย
โAggravated Assault.โย
Carmen let go of a breath he didnโt know he was holding.ย
Carmen wanted to get up but he saw that y/n was laying on his lap. He gently slipped out from under her and carried her on his back to his car. He did his very best to ignore everytime that she dug her face deeper into his neck but he was still beet red when he gently placed her in the backseat and put her seatbelt on.ย
Richie watched but didnโt have any motivation to say anything but a simple, โYou got yourself a girlfriend, Carmy?โ
Content Warnings: THIS IS MY MEAL. I CALL IT GIRL DINNER โจ๏ธGIRLLLL DINNNERโจ๏ธ
Inspired by this post I saw by @thebearer (i hope you don't mind me adding to the concept)
"What the fuck is girl dinner?" Carmy sounds more than frustrated, and confused as he stares down at you, sat comfortably on the couch with your choice of meal. It's an apalling assortment of things from his point of view, though your wide smile shows you think the opposite.
"This is girl dinner." You wave down at your food before stabbing a fork into the meal, eyes drifting to the tv.
"No, no, no, I can't let you eat that." Carmy seems a little distraught as you make eye contact with him, putting more of the dish you prepared into your mouth, chewing slowly as though to make the point 'but I'm eating it anyway.'
"Fuck, please stop with the girl dinner." You love how he's adopted the phrase himself, reaching down to pull the plate away from you, though you dodge him well.
"You eat peanut butter and Jelly for dinner almost five nights a week, so don't you dare scold me for this!" You're defensive as you stand with your plate, still spooning the disaster into your mouth. It doesn't taste as good as anything Carmy would make for you, but you're stubborn.
"At least that has substance, just let me make you somethingโJesus stop eating it! There's no way that's nutritious at all!"
"Fuck nutrition!" You shout back, sounding almost like a child in your defiance.
"Fuck girl dinner!" Carmy counters expertly, though there's a hint of a laugh within his words. In the phrase coming from both his lips and your own, he finds a sort of hilarity, though the point he's trying to make is a genuine one.
"But I love girl dinner." You raise your brows as if that's the perfect blow, the one that will win you the fight, despite the statements lack of foundation.
"Well, I love you, and I can't let you eat cheese string and oreosโis that a slice of fucking orange?"
"What could you make that's better than this?" It's a stupid question, and one you know that answer to as you gesture down at the plate with one hand.
"Anything, fucking anything!" Carmy runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the ends. "What d'you want, I'll make you something, anything, just stop with girl dinner."
You take the slice of orange and bite into it, eyes locked on Carmen's. "The point of tonight's girl dinner is that I don't want to cook, and I also don't want you to cook."
"That's my fucking job."
"Exactly, you spend all day cooking, i don't want you to have to come home and cook for me too." Your voice is softer now, sweet and soothing, Carmy letting out a sigh at the sound of it.
He moves forward, taking the plate from you and placing it on the stool beside the couch. "Look, I don't mind. I don't mind making you something every once'n a while. You deal with all my shit all the fucking time, it's the least I can do." He takes your hands in his own, pressing his forehead to yours. "Just let me make you something."
"You're ruining the point of girl dinner." You mumble, pressing a short kiss to his lips as Carmy's hands run soothingly up and down your arms.
"Don't care." His mutters back, taking your hand and leading you to the kitchen, your other meal long abandoned on the stool to be disposed of later.
Days pass, Carmy is still thinking about it, and when he gets to work, he has to say something to the others. "Caught my girlfriend eating fucking orange slices and oreos for dinner the other night." He mutters whilst searing a steak in prep for a menu change. He glimpes Sydney nodding, and as Fak moves behind him, the man decides to speak.
"Girl dinner, good for her."
Carmy turns so fast to face the man that he almost sets his shirt alight on the element, thinking over the utter complexities of the term. "But what the fuck is girl dinner? How do you even know aboutโnever mind."
"You know," Fak begins as Carmy runs a hand over his face in frustration, "this is my meal, I call this girl dinner" He's reciting something though Carmen has no clue where this is going, and when Fak starts singing it all seems to get worse.
He's repeating the phrase, and yet it still means nothing to Carmy as he moves away, leaving Fak to harmonize with Sydney as he picks up the phone.
Pressing call on your contact is like muscle memory, and the sound of the first few rings leaves him impatient, though you pick up eventually.
"Hey," he mutters into the phone, listening to your voice as you parrot the word back.
"Hey, what's up?" You sound preoccupied, and Carmy swears he can hear the closing of a cupboard door, the rustling of a packet of chips.
"Uh, nothing, I just... I wanted to call and ask if you're all good for dinner tonight." He's closed his eyes, leaning against the door of his office as the quiet settles over him. "D'you need anything?"
You answer almost too fast, suspicion creeping through the line with its grasp on your voice. "No, no, I'm good. Dinner's all good."
Carmy catches the tone, a small amused smile wriggling upon his lips. "Cool, so uh, what're you having?" He scared of the answer, if you decide to be honestโwhich you don't.
"I was thinking tacos, maybe, I haven't decided."
"Nice," Carmy chuckles, "so none of that girl dinner shit? No orange slices and string cheese?" Carmy can almost picture it as the words come to mind, the plate of horrors he'd witnessed not a week before. There's silence over the phone, and Carmy can hear you heave a sigh, loud and final, as you come to terms with your lie. You don't say anything, though, so Carmy fills the space.
"I'm coming home t'night," he whispers into the receiver, holding the phone between his ear and shoulder as he adjusts his apron. "Me, you and the tacos, okay?"
His voice is so gentle, the affection dripping from the words like honey, and he's truly never spoken to someone with as much care. It scares him sometimes, just how much he loves you.
"Carmy, I make the worst fucking tacos." Your smile is hidden within the sentence, and it reaches Carmy like a wave washing the sand, though you're so far from him right now.
"Yeah, I uh, I know. That's why I'm cooking." The kitchen is starting to get loud outside Carmy's office door, and he knows he has to get out there soon to save whatever is left of the peace.
"You don't have to do that, Carm," you exhale, and he can almost picture you, leaning against the kitchen bench, strands of hair loose that, if he was with you, he would be dying to push back into place.
"I want to." He means it, the words he says. "You're important to me, and I want you to know that. I do."
Carmy doesn't know it, but you're grinning on the other end of the line, blood rushing to your cheeks at the thought of his affection. His love.
"Okay." You whisper, "you're important to me too, Carm."
That means everything to Carmy, and he's so desperate to hold onto this, so desperate to not mess this all up. Not after Claire.
"I love you." It's unusual for him to say it first, but he does this time, and his voice soothes any stress you might have. He can hear you smile when you speak again and knows he'll be thinking about the sound of your words for the rest of the day.
"Love you too, bear, see you tonight."
CARMEN BERZATTO TAGLIST: @thrutheburnout @norriebunny @yeschefthankyouchef
hii, could i have a Tangerine and fem!reader headcanons if its not to much trouble? maybe some angst to fluff hcs where she(r) overhears him calling her "clingy" and so she like stops giving him hugs and all? and she doesnt wear his clothes anymore and he asks her abt it one day and turns out it was a huge misunderstanding??? and then loads of fluff? sorry if its too much trouble but thanks!
hii!! ofc ofc. no trouble at all. hope you like it ๐
โ
OVERHEARING AN โINSULTโ HCโs
I feel like tan is on the phone a lot - on a call to discuss details of a mission or just talking to lem about stuff. he'd be in his home office upstairs, maybe in there for most of the time he's home (when not away for work) so sometimes, you'd bring him up food/ snacks and drinks if he's been in there a while. a tea, pack of biscuits, maybe a sandwich. you'd stand outside with items in hand, and as you're about to knock, you hear him say, "...she's so clingy..."
he doesn't know other women (that you know of) so you assume he's talking about you. and the food in your hand confirms your theory (the fact that you're bringing it to him as he talks about clinginess)
so instead of knocking, you go to your shared room and eat what you made for him. sitting in bed, eating as you watch something on tv/ laptop/ phone
you'd avoid him for the rest of the day - making yourself useful elsewhere. if he was in one room, you were in another. he'd be in and out his office, trying to get work done, so wouldn't really notice (eek)
you'd go to bed way earlier than usual to avoid seeing him, wanting to be asleep before he joins
he'd come to bed, see you 'asleep' (you couldn't fall asleep) he'd apologise to your sleeping self for not being with you today, then would fall asleep, maybe spooning youย
over the next couple days you'd distance yourself from him - won't join him on the sofa, won't wear his clothes, won't be up awake the same time as him (you go to bed earlier and wake up earlier to avoid tan) won't ask him things, won't initiate any hugs or kisses
he'd notice the change in you and pull you aside one day, saying something like, "what's going on with you? been really weird lately," you'd shrug him off, saying it's nothing, maybe you try to walk away and he holds your arm, stopping you, "you've been distant, what's going on with you? everything okay?" you'd meet his concerned face, your stoic one softening. maybe you say, "I thought I was too clingy,"
he'd be confused, "clingy? what you on about?" and you're like, "I overheard you the other day," he'd still be confused, so you'd explain more, saying how you heard him on the phone when you were bringing food. eventually, he'd catch on and explain how it was A HUGE misunderstanding. saying how lem was asking tan to look after his cat, hence why tan said she's clingy - talking about the cat
after you'd be very embarrassed, apologising profusely, saying how you feel foolish and dumb for thinking that. he won't be mad at you for assuming. he'd feel sad for you, how you kept it to yourself and changed the way you acted. would also feel bad for not saying something sooner, and you wallowing in the feeling on your own
he'd be very reassuring!! telling you he loves the way you love and treat him. how sweet and caring you are to him. telling you he loves you as is and doesn't want you changing to fit/ suit/ accustom his moodsย
There has been a lot of tang comforting us requests, including mine (which made me feel sm better ty โก), but how about we comfort him instead? I believe you wrote something like this? Just thinking avout about doing the classic "I know a place" and bringing him into our arms :)
hii!! these are my favourite omg!!? I love it. thank you for requesting, hope you like it๐ he deserves all the love :((
link for tan reverse comfort -> distance (quickly read this back after writing this and itโs kinda similar lol, didnโt even realise the connections even though it was so long ago)
โ
STAY
tangerine x female reader
word count: 473
warnings: none just fluff. reverse comfort
โง.โ MASTERLIST
Tangerine is a guy of very few words- a man who keeps his thoughts private and quiet. Detecting his feelings is hard for those with an untrained eye, but not you. Sometimes, you knew him better than he knew himself, so when you see him get in one ofย thoseย moods, you know what's about to happen before it does.
Tan came home slightly more worn down than usual- it wasn't uncommon for him to be like this when returning home from work, but this time was different.ย
You picked up on little things, how he diverted from your gaze or how he went straight upstairs to shower. Those tiny details telling you he was feeling more run-down than usual.
All you want is to hug and kiss him- to tell him how much you missed him, but he needed time, so you gave him exactly that. While he was in the bathroom, you laid out some lounge clothes for him, folding a neat pile of grey sweats with a pink post-it beside saying, 'take your time, I'll be downstairs when you're ready,' finishing the note with a small love heart.
You sat patiently on the couch, your legs nervously bouncing as you awaited his arrival. You wanted the room to be cosy, so you closed the blinds, allowing slats of the moonlit sky to creep through, plugging in a few small lamps to add to the warmth. On the coffee table sat a cup of tea -to his liking- and a few packs of his most favoured biscuits, hoping to coax him into sharing his thoughts. Again, you didn't want to rush him- just wanting to ease him into it.
After a little while, you hear the creaking sound of the stairs and sit up straight, focusing on the living room door with a soft, saddened smile on your face.ย
"Hey," you warmly greet, watching him slowly trudge over to you. "Come here." You softly instruct, opening your arms.
Tangerine makes his way over to the couch, dropping beside you before adjusting, scootching down and resting his head on your lap.
The view of him acting so vulnerable was enough to crumble your heart, so you kiss two of your fingertips and lightly trace them over his temple, guiding them over his brow before settling on his cheek.
"I'm sorry," you whisper, raking through his hair with your fingers, brushing the soft curls away from his face. "Is there anything I can do?"
"No," he whispers back, closing his eyes. "Just let me stay like this for a bit?"
"Of course," you reply, flattening a blanket over him. "For as long as you need."
He takes your hand and kisses the back of it, holding it close as he thumbs over your skin- silently thanking you for being so good to him.ย
Not a request but thoughts on wife!reader giving tan the silent treatment? I feel like they bicker over the silliest things (old married couple vibes) but what if she decides to pretend to ignore him, like he'll say something and she'll hit him with the "Sorry, what was that?" And she's good at keeping her act up, so she's having a blast watching him trying to apologize to her. ๐บ anon
hii! if not mistaken this was the one you wanted as a drabble? also now just realising, I wrote this slightly different to your ask, and this post is a little shit, my bad. thank you for requesting, hope you like it๐
โฆ
quip
tangerine x fem!reader
word count: 300
โง.โMASTERLIST
Being married to Tangerine wasn't always easy. He's strung so high that you often bump heads over the tiniest things. More often than not, silly, petty disagreements, nothing major and nothing to call home about. But they've been happening more regularly, especially today. Maybe it was something in the air or just a lack of sleep, but one thing for sure, they were inconsequential.
"Babe... the dishwasher," Tangerine says, poking his head out of the kitchen to see you. "You're meant to rinse em first. It fucks with the shit inside."
"I did," you playfully whine, head dropping back against the sofa. "I always rinse.ย Always."ย
"Then, how come there's chunks of food and shit floating around the machine?"
You sigh, increasing the volume of the tv. "Dude, I dunno. You tell me."
"It's cos you're a shit stacker, that's why," he chuckles, collecting two glasses from the cupboard. "Want a drink while I'm out here?"
You hear him, but you don't respond. You kick your feet up on the coffee table, adjusting the blanket to cover your legs.
"Oi? Ya deaf?" he calls out, standing in the doorframe. "Want a drink?"
"Oh, sorry, I didn't hear you," you hide a smirk, turning to face him.
"Yeah, ya did," he nods, his brows furrowing. "I said, do you want a drink?" he repeats, enunciating the words.
"What's that now?" your smile slowly widens. "I didn't catch the last part." You snicker, watching your husband grow more annoyed.ย
"Takin' the piss?" he asks, his head cocking to the side, clearly unamused.
"No? I didn't hear, that's all," you shrug, beaming at him.
"Yeah, yeah," he softly chuckles, sitting beside you and draping his arm over your shoulder, pulling you in for a hug. "I forgive you." He smiles, kissing your temple.
Heyy so (sorry if this sounds weird) Iโm an absolute sucker for anything where Tangerine has to take care of reader ๐. Do yk if u could plz write a fic where reader is supposed to take sleeping pills cause she has a rlly hard time sleeping and accidentally takes two instead of one ( those things r strong bro) and falls asleep like immediately after taking them from the table. Imagine tangerine just went to the bathroom and comes back to find his wife passed out on the table, heโd be so concerned๐ญ anyways tysm
hii, im sorry this has taken so long. and me too! I love fics like that. thank you for requesting, hope you like it๐
melatonin
tangerine x fem!reader
โ word count: 486
โง.โMASTERLIST
Since you had trouble sleeping, you often took melatonin to help get you down for the night. Sometimes they wouldn't work as well as others, so to avoid the possibility of disrupted rest, you would take a pill just after dinner. The technique has worked many times before, and since you had to be up early tomorrow, you were hoping this would also be the case again tonight.
While Tangerine cleared the table, you rushed to your room to collect your sleep pills before he could return. You take one on your way downstairs and sat back down.
"I gotโya ice cream earlier. You want it now, or in a bit?" your boyfriend calls from the kitchen, poking his head out to see you.
"Now," you grin, nodding at him. "Get me a spoon?"
"Lemme go for a piss quick," he smiles, kissing the crown of your head as he walks past. "Only a minute."
You notice the pills in your hand, shaking one out and swallowing before the realisation hits-ย you took one already.
"Y'know I was tellinโ ya about that prick at the shopโ" Tangerine starts, abruptly stopping when he sees your hunched-over body. "Babe?" he asks, his tone cautious as he shakes your arm. "Hun? What's goin' on?"ย
He walks around the table and instantly notices the tablets spilt over the surface, a soft smile creeping on his face.ย
"You plonker," he says quietly, slipping his arms underneath you, bringing you to his chest. "This is theย thirdย time this month." He lightly chuckles, taking you to your shared bedroom.ย
He carries you carefully, supporting your head and walking sideways through doors so you don't get knocked and bumped. He gently places you down on the bed, laying you on the mattress with a sweet kiss on your forehead.ย
Tangerine leaves the room and returns minutes later with a t-shirt, damp cloth and face cream. Considering you both had a day at home, you weren't wearing makeup, so he used the washcloth to freshen you up. He knew your nighttime routine like the back of his hand, so he still wanted to implement that as best as he can even though you were fast asleep. He delicately swipes the fabric over your face, wiping away before patting in your cream-ย the same way he's seen you do a hundred times.ย
Next, he undresses you. Since you've been together for a while, it was nothing he hadn't seen before, but still, he gave you moments of privacy. He places one of his t-shirts over your head, positioning your arms in the sleeves before rolling the oversized fabric down your torso.ย
"You're gonna have shit breath in the morning," he whispers, snickering to himself. He lowers to kiss your temple and pushes your hair behind your ears, tucking the covers around you. "G'night, darlin'." He smiles, flicking off the light as he leaves the room.
Hi Jade!! Can I request a hurt/comfort with Remus where you get really severely hurt or are in the hospital and heโs very worried about you and takes care of you?? Thank you!
Hi! Thank you so much for your request, I think this is my favourite thing Iโve written in so long and I missed Remus very much. I hope this is okay <3 fem!reader, tw hospital and implied painful injury/illness (not specified)
Remus is there when you wake up. He always is.ย
He's got one hand over yours, rubbing your dry skin gently, steadily, a ceaseless back and forth. The other is in his lap holding open a small paperback. You watch him as you gather your bearings, minutes of bleary blinking and an aching throat. He doesn't once turn the page.ย
"Good morning," you say, barely audible.ย
He lets out a relieved breath, book dropped as he turns in the chair toward you. The hospital bed is much higher than his seat, so he has to stand up when he kisses you.ย ย
"Good morning," he says, lips pressed to your cheek. He kisses you twice in succession. "Oh, I'm so happy you're up. How's your pain, lovey?"ย
Maybe you haven't woken up properly yet, or maybe they've given you something in your drip, but the pain is much better than it had been last night, when you'd cried enough to wake with sore eyes. You think of how he'd advocated for you, gently and then less so, until they'd taken you seriously and given you some strong painkillers. You feel a thousand times safer with him beside you, knowing he's always gonna stick up for you.ย
"I'm fine."ย
He strokes your cheek. "Yeah?" he asks. "Shall we sit the bed up?"ย
Remus grabs the controller from the side of the hospital bed and clicks the right button on his firstย try. The bed starts to rise, until your back is nearly straight and your abdomen aches. You don't mention it.ย
"That better?"ย
You nod, wordless. Not uncommon with your being in hospital, you've found yourself overwhelmed more often than not by everything that's happening. Remus has been your glue, undoubtedly. Praising you, loving on you, taking amazing care of you. Of course, your doctor and nurses have been invaluable, but you really couldn't make it through this without him.ย ย
You try to tell him and the words get stuck. He's not waiting for anything, he's fussing, tucking your blankets neatly under each thigh, all the way down to your ankles.ย
"It's a bit cold, isn't it? Do you want your jumper, darling?"ย
Remus doesn't usually call you darling. Dove is and always will be his go to, but he's called you just about anything sweet since your admittance.ย
"I'm okay." You rub your hurting eyes. You feel oddly like crying, though this is as well as you've felt for days. "Remus-"ย
You don't mean to stop talking, but you know if you keep trying you'll burst into tears, ugly and dramatic sobs that won't do you any good.ย
He thinks the same thing, sitting carefully on the side of your bed, his hands falling to your waist.ย
"Don't cry," he says. Thereโs a well-meaning sternness in his gaze. "Tell me what it is and I'll fix it, promise."ย
That's why you want to cry. You bite your tongue until it hurts and the heat of your tears has faded.ย
"Can you wipe my face for me?" you ask.ย
"Yes, I can."ย
He grabs your wash bag from the small cubby hole under the nightstand and pulls out a flannel, wetting it in the sink in the corner of the room. Only when he does do you remember that you're on a ward. It's loud, four beds to a room, two with the privacy curtains pulled around them and one without. The bed across from you is empty.ย
Remus returns and tilts your head back.ย
"The lady with the hernia," he whispers, dabbing your face with the flannel tenderly, "when I got here, she was screaming bloody murder. You woke up for a couple of seconds, do you remember?"ย
You aren't sure. Vaguely, you might recall his hand stroking your hair from your face, his voice whispering, "It's okay, dove, it's alright."ย
"She fucking wailed," he finishes.ย
You giggle at his language and his gossiping tone, eyes slipping closed as he wipes the oil from your nose.ย
"Poor woman, she doesn't have a lovely guy like you taking care of her," you say, tangling your fingers in the hem of his t-shirt.ย
"She has a hernia, my love."ย
"They can be really painful," you say, lightly chiding.
He turns the flannel inside out, rubbing around your hairline with the fresh side. "I'll never let anyone complain to me ever again, after you." He pulls the flannel away, his chin dipping toward his neck. "You look brand new."ย
He looks tired. He has shadows under his eyes, stubble around his mouth. You've seen him unwell, in pain, in agony, and you'd never pictured what it would be like to be on the other side. You take care of him, good care of him, and you can finally understand how and why he pulls through it every time.ย
"You're so good to me," you say, tears welling in your eyes. You can feel them dancing along your waterline.ย
"I love you," he says simply, frowning as the first tear falls. "Dove, seriously, I love you so much, I just want you to get better, okay?"ย
"Okay," you say, sniffling.
He catches your tears with the flannel. "Your poor eyes, all this crying. You're gonna need my glasses if you don't stop soon."ย
"They look good on me."ย
He pouts at your tearful tone. "Yeah, they do. Everything looks good on you. Except for tears," he says pointedly, leaning in until you're eye to eye. "Don't cry anymore. For me?"ย
You nod fiercely, blinking away the last few strays. "Okay."ย
He's ridiculously grateful. "Thank you." He kisses your damp cheek. Rests his nose against your nose. You don't fit like that and it doesn't matter. He breathes you in. "This will all be over soon. You've been so brave."ย
"Remus, if you want me to stop, you can't say anything nice to me for the rest of the day."ย
His laugh fans over your skin. He stands at full height. "Sorry. Love you. Your flannel's dripping down my arm."ย
You push him away with as much strength as you can muster. It isn't much, but he's everything, so he pretends you've hurt his arm and murmurs grievances all the way to the sink.ย
๐๐๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ @dontknownameauthor - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
