Happen is Happen does

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Thick thighs save lives. Never understood that. I want thick thighs to take my life😈😈😈😈

[donttouchmyhappenis]

In my Yung Joc bag right now. The Debut.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

I was having a conversation with a friend about the worst things we've said to people. He said his favorite is cunt because it's the worst thing you could call someone who hurt. I said it would make it worse if they denied it. He asked what I meant I said, if they deny it, then agree, then say, you have no warmth or depth to you. We had a good chuckle 🤣🤣

[donttouchmyhappenis]

I can always tell when the wifey has had a bad day. The hair goes in a bun and bloody Marys will be made. I know it's safe when the bun unravels.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Ever take a pic of your genitals and draw on a funny costume...then send it to your lover to see what reaction they have? No? Just me?

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Roasting is an art form. I'm not an artist. Yo mamma jokes are hilarious. Even funnier if you get offended. For instance, yo mamma so dumb, she thought having sex bi weekly was how you become bi sexual.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

"You don't want to know" will never be uttered from my lips. If I know and I don't want to know, you will know too. Because that's how we build traumatic bonds and become best friends.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

In my Juicy J bag right now.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Yo, women with two uteruses. More likely to have twins or naw?

[donttouchmyhappenis]

The funniest people in life, don't even know they're funny. My nephew woke up at eight this morning. He said"Oh man, I overslept! I have stuff to do today!" He's 9 and on summer vacation.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Goodbye to end a phone conversation? No. "Bye bitch!" This is proper phone etiquette, according to both her and I, to end a phone call.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Movie idea: Amnesiac super hero leads triple life. Murderer by day, bi sexual at brunch, a crime fighter at night.

Plot twist: He is his own nemesis but he can't remember.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Fake titties. If they're big enough, can they be used as floatation devices? Asking for a friend.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

When I hear about drama, I base the quality of the drama on two things: 1.Is this drama good enough to make a k-drama? 2. How many seasons would it get. So please, tell me your drama, all your drama. I'm trying to get rich.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

In my andre nickatina bag right now.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

I often take public transportation. I've seen it all.

[donttouchmyhappenis]

Anyone else fancy up boring words? Like, instead of water, I say WaTwar.