陰茎

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[61below]

Yeet the geese

[cheaphalloweencostume]

i hate that post that’s like “what you named your stuffed animal as a kid is a personality test” cause the only notably named “stuffed animal” i had as a kid was one of those wretched baby dolls w hard plastic head feet and hands and a soft fabric body and i kept him fully nude at all times and often hurled him across the room just to hear the plastic THOCK against linoleum and his name was Bigfoot Larry so whatever that says about me i don’t wanna know

[thatisrad]

You don’t have to fake orgasm to help your partner’s ego. The guy I lost my virginity to wrote a play about the experience, and the character based on me gave a monologue about how she regretted sleeping with him because no one else would ever be that good. So, yeah. Just tell him you didn’t cum. 

[girlsfrommars]

Im sorry he wrote a fucking what

[anakinshouldnt]

tag yourself im i tried

[dont-touch-my-juice]

[memesandlaughs]

[cantanopeshitthatwastaken]

[sushinfood]

I MEAN THAT’S ESSENTIALLY IT

[sizvideos]

Video

[thedreadpiratejames]

I love this. There’s another one where they go to a wine tasting and give people a glass from a $20 bottle and they hate it, then a glass from a $200 bottle and they love it. But then they reveal that both glasses are actually from the same $20 bottle.

[fattyatomicmutant]

Wealth and it’s trappings is a false construct meant to elevate those that

Have.

[mpregcraig]

[popses-deactivated20160331]

you used to call me on my hands-free talking glove

[speedlimit15]

I’m just wondering how they can possibly market this as hands-free

[ithelpstodream]

[left-hand-path-notes]

SMASH REBLOG

[marithlizard]

She doesn’t! Neither does your son! Or you for that matter!   It’s pretty disheartening to see how many commenters don’t get this. 

[maruti-bitamin]

Bonito meets a friend. 

Bonito pt 1

[ginger-ale-official]

I’m gonna kick Drake’s ass

[staccatostark-deactivated201811]

ginger ale man I thought you were a benevolent being

[ginger-ale-official]

I am beneviolent when it comes to people like him

[bruhita-deactivated20190224]

how is the “annoying orange” doing??? is he okay?? has he calmed down

[alexander]

hes the president now

[nge-deactivated20220127]

[stoportotouch]

hey does anybody want to see my collection of slightly distorted pictures of cats as viewed through glasses

[stoportotouch]

too late i’ve decided for you that you do

here they are

[lymphonodge]

scrappy doo has been found dead in miami

[snootgaze-deactivated20170620]

is he okay

[lymphonodge]

hes alright but he died

[youraveragehermit]

The fact that I am not singing ABBA on a Greek Island wearing a Boho Chic orange skirt, platform heels, and a floppy hat while the world falls in love with me is criminal.