Recently Discovered Medieval Poem
Ther is a thynge distourbeth me:
Disorder alle for to see.
It ys in cosmos and the sterres;
It causeth mennes hertes to werres,
Confoudeth werkinges of nature.
It is badde newes for sure.
It maketh menne to saye, “wutte?!”
For it be also in the donutte.
Tak its tru shape and telleth me,
Whyso permitte thilke varyete?
Thei schole alle match lyke socces,
Thei schole be rounde, yit somme are longe–
It maketh myn herte lesse stronge.
Long donuts are hypocriseye,
Called thynges which thei nat be.
It semeth clere, withoute a hole,
It cannot be a donut at alle,
And yit ther be childers who insiste,
“Yiv me a donut! Longe with twiste!”
Of those mad longe, wyth cinnamon,
Y say, “Suche be a churro, sonne.”
And myn frend Chaucer mockes me
And sayde shapes have diversite.
But names mattir; names have shape;
To say nay makes wordes their ape.
A donut ys rounde, it hath a hole,
Yt doth goddess werke on the soule.
With sugre ycing, sprinkles eke,
Yt is the carbbe that y seke.
Ete too manye, and ye be seke.
Verconius knoweth yt eke–
The cooke y mene, ferste to labour,
And give donuts for oure pleasure–
A longe pastrye tastes fyne,
Yit nis nat donut’s schape divine,
Round withouten ende or breke,
Y speke for the donuttes seke.
In despite of its hole, so ful,
Wondrous thyng enigmatical,
This alpha et omega of nom:
Any other is a grete schame.
[This verse fragment was arguably intended for inclusion in John Gower’s Confessio Amantis, Book 7. The transcription was done by Kim Zarins (also find her on twitter @KimZarins), who discovered the page in the archives of Sacramento State University. The octosyllabic couplets are astonishingly irregular for Gower, a poet known for his strict adherence to literary form, yet it would appear Gower was writing during a massive sugar rush, as implied by the granulated sugar dusting the parchment.]
