Are they lovers?

Dood | 20+ | MY | #FreePalestine

[dooditsradical]

"Mr. Jaegyeon Na?"

"Jichang? Wait..."

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✧ Lookism ocs acc: @dood-itsridiculous

✧ Art request is open for lookism characters only. BUT art quality is based on how much I like the character. I'll include my thoughts on said character.

[dooditsradical]

Based on this idea.

You and Jake were best of friends. He was the big brother anyone could ever asked for. Playful, protective and caring. You cherished him for that, you never want to leave his side. Hell, you wanna be like him, strong and brave.

Little you were too stupid to understand the lack of paternal figure in your life. Because there is no need for that when you already have Jake who protects you from your curiosity over your father's deadbeat behavior. You never questioned it.

Until one day, your brother left without any explanation.

When Jake is no longer here to answer the questions for you, he ended up leaving more of them and had you pondered non-stop with the same sentence over and over again.

Where did oppa go?

Is oppa okay?

Is oppa alone?

Will oppa come back?

Is oppa ever coming back?

You never get any of them answered until now. Until you've grown into a young woman and still living under your mother's roof. She's now who your considered best friend. She's not Jake but she's the only person you have and now care about enough to stay.

You stopped asking her those questions, seemingly got tired of them so you kept your mouth shut.

Rumours spread fast. Your curiosity never left you. So you started snooping and eavesdrop in conversations, either involve you or not. Anything that may give away Jake's well-being.

Only then you find out that he had turned into a gangster. You asked yourself why. Was life so bad? He has everything, you and mom. What is he fighting for? What isn't enough?

"Mom." You stood by the living room, facing the floor. "Is it true? That Jake..."

"Don't waste your time thinking about your brother." Minseon gently cut you off and that's when you raised your head to face her. But she avoided your eyes, casually wiping the window.

"But..." Your hands gripped on the fabric of your attire. You want to know. You want to know so bad. Did he misses you? Did he ever think of coming home just to see you?

"Come, help me with this." As usual, your mother changed the topic to distract you. You have learned to accept that she's doing whatever she can to protect you. If not then, she just hates you bringing up whatever topic that may reminded her of the father you never met.

.

It's been years. You lost count. You continue to live your life normally. Make friends and study. You pushed away your past and got spend time most with your mother.

"C'mon, open it." You encouraged. Watching Minseon examined the velvet box and give you a weird look with a cocked brow before opening the it to reveal a jade bracelet.

She blinked then glanced at you skeptically, "Where did you get this?"

You rolled your eyes, "Why does it matter? Wear it! Here." You carefully put on the jewelry around her wrist. The gem caught the light as it shines flawlessly.

Minseon drop her wrist onto her lap and gave you a half scowling look "Don't mess with me. Where did you get it?"

You pouted, "I bought it of course."

"With what money?"

"I joined a business."

"At this age?"

"Stop underestimate me, mommy."

"Tch, I'm not. I'm just asking if you're stealing for a living by any chance."

You gently pushed her side, "Mom! How could you! I'm working hard for us, you know?"

Your mother who hardly react to your playful push let out a scoff, "I know, I know. I'm just asking. ...Or you have a secret boyfriend?"

"Omma!"

"Just wondering."

Life is perfect. Just you and mom.

.

"Like father like son. I guess blood really is fucking thinker than water." Minseon uttered, pouring tea into the cup while sitting across from Jake.

"Why are you so mad today?" He looked down at the drink before raising his head back.

"...How is (Name)?"

"Why don't you ask her that yourself?" She replied, glancing behind him. Jake followed her gaze, turning his head with widened eyes where you stood by the entrance.

Your froze. As shocked as him and neither of you moves.

He's here. Here here.

This is the first time you've seen Jake in forever. So much has changed. He's now taller, older. Are those scars on his face? Seems like the rumours are true. He really is a gangster.

Jake slowly gets up on his feet without breaking eye contact with you.

"...(Name)."

When your name escaped his mouth, you broke out of your trance. You shot him a glare before turned your back on him and abort your objective to go inside the house. Your foot stomp angrily onto the ground, your pace fastened as you hear Jake quickly chased after you.

"Wait! (Name)!"

You ignored him as you marched aimlessly into the neighborhood.

"(Name)! Please." Luckily his legs are longer as he effortlessly catches up to you and grabbed you by your wrist. Your swiftly avert his touch as if it burns.

"Don't touch me!"

He grumbled. "Where you even going?? Let's go back. It's dangerous."

You scoffed, "Oh right. And you aren't?"

"What are you talking about? You don't remember your own big brother?"

You stopped in your tracks but refuses to face him. Your arms crossed over your chest. "Brother? Hah! I have no brother. My brother left me years ago."

Guilt washes over him at your recollection. He couldn't deny the truth. He did on his own account so he didn't have to be like his father. It's almost funny how it quickly backfired. How can he escape his destiny anyway? Like mom said, blood thicker than water.

"Listen, I..." Jake exhaled heavily. "I can explain. Just give me a chance. I know we wasted a lot of years being apart. I have my reasons and I promised you. You have every right to hate me for it."

Your face flickered slightly, nearly exposed your vulnerability before you catch yourself.

That being said, the curiously never left you. Now that he's here, why not hear him out? What's the worst that could happen?

"Hmph." You turned back towards where home is without sparing him a glance. Jake's shoulders slumped but he took your reluctance as a good sign before follows you from behind.

Back at your mother's house, Jake and you stood by her garden as he explained himself A to Z. And throughout this process, you haven't showed any single emotions. You just listened without cutting him off.

"And...now I'm here." He finished. "Listen, I don't deserve your forgiveness, I know I messed up big times with you. And I think about it every single day."

"I think about you every single day."

He stopped closer, "You're still my baby sister. Except... you're not a baby anymore." He mustered a tiny smile, "You've grown taller, smarter and prettier."

"...I bet there's many guys that want to court you." He poked.

You brushed your hair off your shoulder sassily, "Sure they do! But they all didn't match up to my standards unfortunately."

"Yeah, I get that. Men sucks."

"That includes you." You snapped over the corner of your eyes.

His lips twitched into a smirk, "That includes me."

"Hmph! You didn't even think to pay a visit!"

"I did! But mom said you weren't home at that time, so." He scratched his neck. "But hey! I'm proud of you. You're studying and have your own legal business I heard! Man, I could never, haha..."

A beat passed.

"So, father..." You started hesitatingly. "He's so much worst than I anticipated."

Jake sighed, shifting his weight to his other leg. "Yeah, well. I learned to embrace his flaws. As much as he did us wrong, he never did to the others."

"Oh please. He prioritized strangers than his own family. And he called it 'romance'. Ugh." You gagged. "What a bunch of baloney."

"It does hurts." He admitted, glancing the green surrounds you. "I'm not here to change your mind about him."

"He was the absolutely worst piece of shit ever." You both said in sync before sharing a short laugh.

"C'mon," He jerked his head towards the house. "Let's go back inside. I still have to talk to mom. I have to ask her something."

Your slowly faced him, hands dropped to your sides. "Is it about him?"

"Yeah." He nodded, his expression turned serious. "You might want to hear this part too. Depends how interesting it'll get."

.

"About seven years older than you. Yes, Gapryong Kim have another son."

You and Jake's eyes turned wide, mouth slightly agape at the revelation from your mother.

If you haven't ask whether this could get any worse, now it just did.

Gapryong's son who lives in Mexico and works in a cartel. And Minseon just stopped there. Purposely gatekeeping you both by saying not to get involve. You surely won't. You don't want to. You don't even know what regular criminals are capable of and now she's talking about a literal cartel boss.

Your turned your head to looked at Jake who's still focus on mom, desperate to know more despite her gentle objections.

"If there's good side and evil side in Gapryong, then Jake, you are the good side. And that guy inherited the evil side."

.

"Are you...going to be okay?" You forced yourself to mutter once you both are alone once more. You have sworn yourself that you wouldn't show any concern for Jake but after today's event, it's hard not to. Because deep down you still love him. He's your brother after all.

"Don't worry about it." He shot you a grin. You frowned, "That's not very convincing. What if you get hurt?"

He tugged the stray hair behind your ear, "It won't be my first. And it won't be my last." You clasped your hand onto him before he could pull away. You missed this warmth. This assuring and protective warmth of his. You missed him. You missed your playtime together, you missed having dinner together, you missed just talking to him.

The thoughts makes your chest tightened and your eyes begins to water.

Jake's face fell, "Hey, hey..." He cupped your face. "It's okay. I'm here now. Don't cry. Hit me, if that makes you feel better."

You want to. You want to hit him and continue to yell at him but you already went pass that. You already got what you wanted. You got your answers and there's nothing more to ask for. Except his presence.

"It's not fair." You sniffled.

"I know it's not." He rested his forehead against yours. "I'm the asshole that broke your trust and I'm being an asshole for asking you to trust me again. It's so not fucking fair."

"Promise me you'll come home." You looked at him, desperate for affirmation that he will grant you this one wish.

"I promise." He said without a single doubting. "In one piece." He added. "And if you're free, I'll take you to see Big Deal. They would adore you."

He pulled you into a firm yet loving embrace. Your first hug in years. You immediately returned it, clinging onto him like he might disappear as you both stayed like that.

After some time he gave you a final squeeze before letting you go reluctantly. He squeeze your shoulders, patting them then dropping his hands awkwardly.

"I should go now. Take care of mom for me."

You nodded, "That's what I've been doing."

He grin, "I know you do." He pat your head before walking towards the open gate.

He turned one last time and wave at you while he walked sideways.

You wave back even while wearing that sad face of yours and mouthed,

"See you... oppa."

Jake paused. His face tightened as he forced a smile. Slowly he disappeared from the neighborhood.

.

Back at Big Deal.

"Jake! What happened?! Who hurt you?" Jerry exclaimed, watching Jake blowing his nose into another tissue. His tears continue to stream down as he sobs.

"I'll get them Jake! Just give me your words!"

"She called me oppa! I'm still her oppa...!"

[dooditsradical]

I never deny my type so much. Back then I like blondies or long hair dudes. The latter would always gets me. But now I'm solely ashamed of liking the same species.

Anyway shout-out to my cop crushes BYE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bro all of them are bad guys except two 😭

Bonus: I also had a (space) cop oc 😭 Damn you Tanisha 😞😞

[dooditsradical]

The way I recognized J in an edit by his bicep alone give away my attachment issues I fear. I need to take my meds.

Done.

[dooditsradical]

Regarding that ai allegations, the staff denied it.

As much as I hate to accuse them for their hard work, it's hard to ignore it. My trust issues couldn't handle it. Especially Samuel and Seongji one. C'MON you can SEE IT 😭 what if they're lying through their teeth? Gosh I hate the world we live in now 💀

[dooditsradical]

Bedbreaker or wtv his name was

[dooditsradical]

Allied made a band now? About time ig 😭

[dooditsradical]

CRYING THROWING UP

JICHANG! JICHANG OML

EVEN SEOKDU IS INCLUDED OMG

[dooditsradical]

Hello!

Do you get deja vu? Bye❤️

Kay, I got deja vu all the damn time this is why I never like his design 😞😞 he's so generic, dude. You seem em everywhere. Like the only thing you can tell the difference by where his bangs goes and his uniform. If not, without the tags or caption you'd never know I have to look at the screen like this (it happened multiple times in twt) 💔

Also why I prefer him to look a little off and "ugly". The inconsistent of the arts never not threw me off but I'll take it ❤️‍🩹

If not then this version the only one that came in handy. Rawr 🗣️

[dooditsradical]

YES I'M NOT CRAZY. This is the translated screenshot of the actual roles for the mafia au guys

GO CRAZY WITH YOUR FANFICS GUYS PLEASEEE

[dooditsradical]

The concept of PTJ milking the same characters dry with merch but not Jichang, Gongseob, Taesoo and Seokdu.

I don't understand. It is the face cards? Are there votes that we didn't know of? Makes no sense.

I can understand adding newbie into the event after each arc like Jinrang, Yujae and Changsu. But freaking S*ongji omg bro, let him GOOOO 😭 he don't gotta fit in with EVERY merch event I'm sick of seeing his ass PUHLEASE.

Just LOOK at him. Is that even him???

[dooditsradical]

Agent(manager) Kim Netflix been out for some time where are the fanfics? So many hot daddeys

[dooditsradical]

The show used ai and already hv a controversy about Palestine

[dooditsradical]

And the most bored, unemployed lookism community award goes to...

Fucking tiktok, man someone call HR I can't birth

[dooditsradical]

Yujaegyeon nation winning big time

This keychain is VILE. Wdym you can close and opens to see Yujae at the brick of death over and over lmao

[dooditsradical]

Hi! I hope you're doing well 🫶 Thanks again for those merch pics!❤️

Since your art requests are open, could I pls request Changsu and Chunhee art? Ty :)

I'm well ty for asking! I hope you're taking enough rest between fanfics too. Anyway here you go! I'm very satisfied with how this turned out :D

Nothing much to say really. Changsu is neutral to me. Nor like or hate. I don't mind his presence or his contribution to Gitae Union. At first I wasn't fond of his looks but then I started to appreciate his design more. It's pretty unique compare to that one cop cough cough. Chunhee is cute too. I wonder what's their lore 🤔

[dooditsradical]

Me every time Chief Nam appears on screen

[dooditsradical]

So one time I was writing J fanfic and I was in the zone, aight. But for some reason an unfortunate happened and I forgot to save it. The entire progress disappeared, just poof gone. I was extremely devastated bc the first half was in my draft for days. I had no idea where I was taking the fanfic and I lack literature to guide it. When that shit happened I cried and just lost motivation all together to proceed. I vent to someone but it didn't work bc it felt disingenuous. It's just pity, instead of comforting.

I told my friend to motivate me and she said "J, kissing you on the head soothing out your pain for you, and stroking your arm gently with his thumb — whispering; 'you've done so well' and then I was like "that mf would NOT do that crap to me 😭😭" he would just stare and said "just do it again".

Bc the whole point is that I don't need comfort, I need motivation. He basically said "do it or don't. Keep sulking if you have to. The fanfic is not going to finish itself even if you cry for it." And guess what? That mentality LITERALLY helped.

Boom! I finished the damn fanfic the same night WHILE crying. Thank you sir! You reminded me of my father it's not a good feeling but the important part is that it unironically worked. Xoxo