[mediamattersforamerica]

This is a huge deal. Don’t sugarcoat it. 

[enews]

[dooontletmecavein]

me

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

I honestly think relationships in general would be healthier, in general, if we didn’t believe they should last forever.

When the default is “forever” and shorter relationships are seen as a failure, we miss out on a lot. We stay in relationships that don’t work because they’re not “bad enough” to leave, as though not wanting the relationship anymore isn’t a good enough reason. We deny ourselves happy memories, saying “If it doesn’t work now, our love then wasn’t real.” We pass on relationships we know would be short, because if it doesn’t last forever, what’s the point in joy in the moment?

An ending isn’t a failure. It’s an ending. Most relationships have them. What would our relationships be like if we stopped focusing on our fear of endings and started focusing on what we - and our friends, partners, and family - need right now?

[cherryannxo]

[homojabi]

@ lesbians who are new to identifying as a lesbian: compulsory heterosexuality does not go away once you start identifying as a lesbian. It’s easy to feel like figuring out that you’re a lesbian or accepting your attraction to men as unwanted or “forced” should make your feelings of “maybe I will find a man one day” go away, but it doesn’t. Compulsory heterosexuality is so ingrained in our society and in ourselves that most lesbians have these doubts their whole lives. It’s okay to have these feelings. It doesn’t mean that you’re not a lesbian, it doesn’t mean that you’re faking it. It just means that compulsory heterosexuality affects us all the time, not just before we realize that we might be lesbians. 

[vextape]

can pornography be good for you?

- this was my opening statement as part of the discussion can pornography be good for you at edinburgh science festival, april 2016.

I’m Vex. I’m an independent porn, performer, producer, director, editor, everything really. I’m able to talk about my experience with porn not just a viewer, although I’ve done a fair bit of that too, but mostly as a maker and performer.

My story in porn isn’t maybe what you’d think, but it’s not that uncommon. I didn’t sit on a casting couch in LA or answer a vague ad for models from craigslist. I decided to start performing on webcam and making my own clips at university, as a test to see if it would be interesting and maybe, profitable. It really was, I’d make more in a few hours on cam than I did in an 8 hour shift at my 0 hour contract retail job and I loved it. Like so much of the modern, online adult industry it’s completely self directed and determined. You work for yourself, do what you’re comfortable with, work when and where you want. Camming gave me the freedom and the time and the capital to begin learn and to fall in love with film making.

My porn project, Four Chambers began as an experiment, to see if I could put sex on film in a way that was creative and interesting for me, something I didn’t see represented in the majority of readily available porn. We started making our own and putting it out on social media. The response was incredible, I never imagined I could be in the position I’m in now where it’s basically my full time job.

I think this is maybe where I’m now expected to stand here and tell you how “empowered” I am, how I love my job and how I’m sexually liberated. And really I’m happy to say that, for me, that’s true - I mean - I’m my own boss, I have totally flexible working hours, I don’t answer to anyone. I put my own sexuality on film without compromise in a way that I’m truly proud of. I get to fuck my friends and travel and make my living in a creative way that I couldn’t have ever dreamed of. I have a better sex life, I’m a more open and honest person and a better partner because of the communication and honesty that making porn requires from a committed relationship. I have confidence, ownership and pride in my body and my sexuality that I never did growing up. It’s been the best, most challenging and interesting thing I’ve done with my life.

And now I’m going to say that that doesn’t really matter. 

Keep reading

[dooontletmecavein]

This is worth a read.

[dashisgone-blog]

Rape is the only crime I can think of that’s 100% inexcusable.  There’s absolutely no reason for it ever.  In any circumstance.  You can murder in self defence, you can steal to help your starving family.  Even doing illegal drugs can really help calm people down.

But rape doesn’t help anyone except the rapist.  And it just baffles me to this day the way people will excuse rape with, “Well he/she was drunk” or “What was she wearing?” or “He’s a guy though, he probably enjoyed it.”

it’s the one crime that everyone should find inexcusable and yet it’s the one that people try to justify the most often.

[themerchdude]

You in a band and want to make a difference in the music scene?

Start by Making sure the females at your show & crew are treated with respect.

[hellaraddiy-blog]

The More You Know: A quick list of ineffective ways to book a run

We’ve all heard this ancient wisdom about how your early tours are supposed to suck, “it’s how you learn!” We’ve all seen the meme of the pictures of a stadium crowd and an empty bar “don’t expect to play this until you’ve played this” and sure, there’s some truth to them, otherwise we wouldn’t all know them, but where’s the line? At what point are we making it harder on ourselves by being lazy or stupid. Which things are hard because our band doesn’t have recognition, and which things are just hard and require persistence.

Let’s talk about them:

1. Flat rate booking agents? This is a BIG topic of contention in DIY. I know I’ve covered it, but quick refresher, a booking agent SHOULD make a percentage (usually 10%) of what they bring in for the package nightly. So someone asking you “pay me __ and ill book you a two week tour” is inherently doing something outside of that philosophy, since they get their money no matter what. But remember, I said this was contested in the DIY world so I have to be preparing some positives to show you right? The truth is, there actually are some ways this can be a good thing. Let’s say this person wants $250 to book you a two week tour (a common figure I’ve seen). My band lost ~$200 on our first 2 week tour, because I was still very new to booking. If you can get this person to agree to get you no less than $50 per night, and to give you drives no longer than 5 hours unless they can get $100 on one end of that drive…the truth is you’d do better than our tour, and if your merch was cool there’s actually a way you make money on that tour, even after paying that agent. Now, is this the “DIY Way”? Of course not. Could you use this one ‘mistake’ to make a bunch of friends and contacts and at least ensue that your first tour isn’t a total mess…absolutely. Keep in mind that is ONLY if this agent will agree to that guarantee stipulation I made above, check references who have worked with them before, ask promoters, ask everyone, and NEVER PAY ANYONE ANY MONEY BEFORE YOU HAVE REAL HARD CONFIRMATION FROM PROMOTERS THAT SHOWS EXIST.

2. Booking your entire tour via Facebook status? Oh wow, what an awesome cheat code you’ve found! While all these other bands are being rejected by contact after contact, you’ve just put the whole thing out there so your friends can tag people for you and book the whole thing! And I’m not even talking a few last minute panic dates, you’ve gone ahead and put the whole routing out there months ahead of time! Well, here are all the reasons this is a bad idea. - over tagging. Just like with Facebook event invites, laziness has ruined tagging as well. If you book shows, you are undoubtedly tagged in posts like this almost constantly and after a while you stop even clicking them. - you look lazy. This is pretty self explanatory, and if you don’t get why this looks lazy…you might just BE lazy. The idea that other bands don’t do this, and suddenly you come along like 'oh hey here’s the routing book it for me’ inherently flys in the face of the term 'hard work’ - if you’re having this many problems finding contacts, you are likely going too big too fast. If you haven’t made a single friend anywhere in the region you need help with, you likely haven’t done the small things yet and are just trying to skip ahead. That’s okay, and it’s ambitious, but in doing so you cannot also take the easy way. The two are mutually exclusive.

3. Booking your entire tour via one post in a “DIY touring” or regional touring Facebook group? - see above

4. “What venues should we hit up” This is by far the most common and complicated. It seems like common sense: the venue has an in house promoter who gets the room for free, surely that promoter books the best shows at that venue, right? Unfortunately, from personal experience I can tell you that is almost exclusively wrong. Now, let’s not get it twisted here, there are some REALLY great in-house promoters, but there are a few unique problems facing this arrangement: - the in house gets the room for free, so there is WAY less pressure to make money for that door deal - most in house promoters don’t really have a reason to go to other venues which means they see almost exclusively locals that play their venue. There are clique problems in every facet of music and there are ups and downs for all of them, but this one is particularly harsh, because it means your show can only do as well as the venue’s average. Now, you’re a young band so any show that doesn’t rank is sick of course, but taking an obvious limit is one of those things I was talking about with the whole “are we making it harder on ourselves” thing. - the in house promoter is likely to have a heavy work load. They’re the in house for a venue they get a ton of show offers, and the young band trying not to starve will fall pretty low on that priority list.

5. Asking every veteran band you know to tour with you -this is an odd one, but we’ve all been there. It sucks to have to tell a band you can’t do a tour with them, especially one who has told you in the past that they strive to find whatever level of success they attribute to your current position, but here’s the part no one talks about: we’re all still trying to move up. -a band just starting to see some outside interest needs to keep finding more access to that interest with each tour and taking your friends on their first tour at a point where you really needed the help yourself can be damaging -of course more established bands should take smaller bands, but I will always see it as the established band’s place to offer. -one of the hardest things we all learn in our early stage is that not every musician you respect who says “you guys are sick” has the want it means for anything more to come of that statement. We learn to take the compliment and move one, don’t think every “good set” from a headliner means you should ask them to tour. Your “big break” will feel more like a next step than a miracle. -think “who SHOULD tour with us” not “who do we need to tour with” your correct tour is probably also your most sensible one DON’T GET ME WRONG: there’s a time to call in that favor, but your first tour is not that time. You’ll know it when it comes, wait for it.

There is no easy way. Every promoter from all those “easy list of DIY promoters” posts has been spammed to death. This is hard. This takes time. You cannot cut corners. It is worth it. Love, Dad

[popnk]

The Wonder Years - Everything I Own Fits In This Backpack [x]

[geltoothpaste]

Fuck the system also I love making out

[vayena]

when i was a child i thought ‘male enhancement’ pills just made you a better guy. they made you pleasant to be around. the man on the commercial had a big smile on his face and they made a point of how happy his wife was and everyone loved him. this is honestly what i thought

[dooontletmecavein]

there should be a pill for that though

[freifraufischer]

[badscienceshenanigans-deactivat]

DRAG THEM NEIL

[earthlyemily]

Real environmentalists don’t eat meat

[angrychickpea]

this needs tO BE SHOUTED FROM ROOF TOPS

[givemethecookiejar]

Friendly reminder

[bvddhist]

+

[hellaraddiy-blog]

The More You Know: is my band bad?

I’m gonna start by taking a stance that a lot of people disagree with, but that I believe I am correct on: there ARE objectively bad bands. The opposition argument to this is usually something to do with “but art” and that’s why I now have two ‘types’ of bad bands. Type 1: your band is bad, you need to fix something Type 2: your band is objectively fine but you’re making something people don’t care about please stop complaining that no one supports you

What is bad? Bad comes in many forms. Bad isn’t always an off time band full of people who don’t practice. In fact, I’ve seen bad bands who had cleaner sets than some of my favorite bands as far as actual playing is concerned. Bad is when there is something objectively off putting about what you’re doing. Bad is when a musically tight band has a vocalist who can’t hit pitch or is singing way out of their range or being over expressive without the skill to do so. Bad is one member playing the absolute busiest part they could write because they want to show off or have no clue how to play to the song. Sometimes bad is hard to put your finger on: you don’t know what it is but you really want this band to be done playing.

How do I know people think this? Musicians are fragile when it comes to criticism. No matter how open to feedback you think you are, most people will hold back. If the feedback would just be “your band is not good” most people will just never tell you, or worse they’ll say 'good set’ and then walk away.

There have to be signs though right? Oh there are. If every band you play with just says good set and that’s it, no one is ever specific about anything that blew them away, you might be bad. If the only positive feedback you get is really generic like “I like your vocals” or “you play your songs well” things you could literally say to any band, you might be bad. But here’s the BIGGEST one: if you’ve done all the things I’ve always said to do, if you’ve made a bunch of friends in your area who are involved in music, and all of these friends just seem to be busy every time you have a show, your band is 100% bad.

What about the other kind of bad? Type 2 bad is when you’re trying something different, but it’s just not working. Now again, this IS art, you’re entitled to make whatever you like. I’m only labeling this bad in reference to the bands that do it, and then spend a considerable amount of time publicly whining about how they aren’t getting bigger, or that no one supports them, or that ___ other band is doing better than them. You are free to make your art but no one is required to like it.

How do we know which type we are? Can you name me a few large touring bands that make the type of music you make? If you can, and your friends like that band and not yours, you’re type 1 and no one is telling you. If you can’t name me a popular band making music that sounds like yours, but no one is supporting you, you’re type 2 bad.

Let’s try some examples.

1. The band on stage is playing standard old school pop punk. The vocalist is solid, guitar tone is solid, bassist is groovy, the drummer has been playing double time and he plays a fill every two bars. - this band is type 1 bad. There’s a market for this sound, but there’s a member who isn’t playing to the song and it’s ruining what could be otherwise enjoyable.

2. The band playing sounds like all those bands Rise Records signed in 2006-2009. - without even discussing their performance I can tell you this band is type 2 bad. No one wants that sound anymore.

3. There is a ska band playing. - if most of your genre’s branding is based on the phrase “__’s not dead” you are type two bad.

4. The band playing sounds exactly like sublime. - this band is sick.

Now, go make whatever music makes you happy, but please stop yelling at people for not loving it. Music is art, branding, marketing, and building draw are not. Love, Dad.

[dooontletmecavein]

SHOTS FIRED AT SKA

good post though 

[hellaraddiy-blog]

Dad Rant: Shhhhhh

This rant is going to come off more like trash talk than most of the rants have, so I’ll start by explaining how I feel about local spots on shows. I am not saying this for cred, and I don’t think anyone else should feel the need to think this way, but I truly enjoy watching local sets. For many of the same reasons I enjoy running this blog, I really get a kick out of seeing younger, newer bands, or experienced bands no one has noticed yet. I don’t feel like most other people get the feeling I do out of watching a band that is fully committed to whatever madness they’re laying down, and I wish you could all feel it, because it’s really cool. We played with a band called Vigil Antics on Long Island whose vocalist wore a straight jacket and makeup and he ran around the crowd between verses and they covered Three Days Grace. While their music was not “my thing” I really, really enjoyed watching a group of people who got up there and were like “yo, this is us and we’re about to be us really loudly for the next half hour.” They also played their music REALLY cleanly, and that is something I will forever respect in any band regardless of how I feel about their music. In the last 2 years of touring I have only missed a handful of locals we’ve played with, one of which was because I was actively vomiting, and a few of the others were after little sleep and long drives. I get really upset when large tour packages do the “no local” thing but that’s another article for another time.

Now that you know I don’t hate local bands, let’s get to some hard truth: You probably need to talk less.

Nothing murders the vibe of a good set more than a long explanation no one asked for, or an awkward push for crowd interaction from someone who is not reading their room at all. Let’s go through some really common ones and why they’re not good.

1. “So I wrote this next song when I was really upset after a breakup and I was in my room alone with my dog an-” ok stop. Don’t do this. If you’re explaining a song in this way, I will guarantee you you’re about to play a song where NO person would’ve wondered “is this about a breakup, or is he just like talking about the human condition or astro physics?” The (kind of but not really) sad fact is, no matter how much you care about how you wrote this song, 90% of people you will play it to literally couldn’t care any less. Yes, of course, music is also about the artist and what went into the art, but you’re playing to a crowd now, don’t be selfish.

2. “So do you guys wanna hear-” don’t do it. If you are a younger band still working on getting people to care, don’t ask the crowd to pick. They probably don’t know your song names of which is which, and when you then resort to “do you want to hear the really sad one or the really angry one about my ex girlfriend” you’re cheapening what you’re doing. And again, they aren’t as involved in “the process” as you are. While we’re at it, stop asking each other into the mic which song is next. Write your set before you even get to the show. Know it.

3. *needless crowd banter asking who’s drunk or any other thing toward a crowd that’s sort of just listening and being in the room* Just play.

Here’s how I’ve always thought our set should go until the overwhelming majority of people in the room are really into us: “Hi, we’re __ from __ we drove a lot to be here, these are our songs” Song 1 Song 2 “If you’re someone that’s dealing with depression or feeling trapped, this song is for you” Song 3 *maybe make quick joke statement if I have one for crowd* “We have merch in the __ we like gas and food and were broke, help” Song 4 “This is our last song” Song 5 “Thanks”

That adds like 1.5 minutes to the set, I say what needs said, and we hammer through our stuff. This set is short and to the point. The goal is to leave people wanting more, not less. We try not to play “too many” songs, and we never play anything that isn’t 100% ready and as tight as the rest of our set.

Think about it this way: do you think any person has ever said “that local band was awesome but I wish they had talked more” more than likely no.

You’ll get to the point where you’re counterparts and everyone loves the story behind all your songs, but make sure you’re there before you start doing it, because boring a crowd is the best draw repellent there is. Love, Dad.

[black-to-the-bones-deactivated2]

Three years into the water crisis

And nobody gives a sh*t

[bikonciousnessa]

i only heard about this 2 months ago. its been 3 years????

[daggers-drawn]

Remember this started because Snyder switched Flint from a freshwater mountain lake to the polluted Flint River simply to allow his wife’s company to use the lake for bottling instead. This is a manufactured crisis of corruption and capitalism.

[fruitprom]

Also remember that the pipes corroded because they refused to pay for the chemical used to make the water less acidic.

Remember that when the first E. coli outbreak from the water popped up, the city hall was given water coolers by the state, free of charge, all while denying that the water could be unsafe to drink.

Remember that, despite having a huge budget surplus and a “rainy day fund,” set aside that could easily cover the cost of relocating the residents by buying their houses/paying their debt, or could cover a large chunk of the cost of replacing the pipes, the state has decided to continue to only put in the minimal amount of effort.

Remember that flint is majority POC, majority impoverished, and is still being faced with crippling water bills from the Detroit water supply company, where they are often charged $50 a month just to use the service, on top of the cost of their water bill.

Remember that there will now be an entire generation of children who will now be damaged by lead poisoning and damage from the multitude of neurotoxins.

Remember that this is what privatized natural resources looks like. Remember that these people are being punished for having the audacity to dare to be poor in an economy that won’t let them be anything but.

[daggers-drawn]

At every level, this has not been a mistake.

The State and City are most upset that people know its happening and are resisting nation-wide.

But if we lose focus they lose even the small amount of aid they’ve managed to get.

This is how they do it. It’s a siege on the public empathy. Eventually we become numb to the problem and despair. Or something bigger happens.

Then its business as usual again.

[xh0nia]

Don’t forget Flint