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[doorlesscub00]

Do you ever still write poetry?

I do

I wanna ask you

But I’d think it be dumb too

I wish to ask you if those poems you wrote were about me

What you were thinking when it came to be

Oh but how stupid it would

So I keep my mouth shut, I could

You sent those poems before we were we

And now I’m still stuck wondering

If you wrote them for me

I thought they were when the pictures you sent me first shown up

Unsatisfully yet, courage I’ll never buck

Maybe one day l ask if you still write poetry

And maybe one day I’ll have you the verses I’ve written about you

[doorlesscub00]

Stars feel Galaxies away

But lying in your arms

With nothing to say

Is but more of a dream

With nothing is as it seems

The stars aren’t so far

For starts are just

The beating of our hearts

[troubledwordsofatroubledmind]

Twas the night before kinktober...

[doorlesscub00]

Mother's Flying Dove

warnings: you will probably cry. I can't say too much because it will spoil the poem.

I like when the kind lady bring me stickers.  They all make me laugh and smile. Mommy smuggles me juice boxes, And sweets in piles. Daddy recites stories for me And my brother shows me a picture of his new puppy. I smile at the pictures.  And I told them I can’t wait to meet out new dog. I notice their faces grim,  And I ask, “why so long?” My brother told me “our dog just like you, I got her because of that,  She even has your name too.” They don’t notice I see their tears. I don’t know why their all so sad, Squeezing mommies hand I smile and whisper “Theres nothing to fear." She tightens her grip, I see her hands shake, “I know my little dove, Its just a sad day.” The lady comes back,  All dressed in blue. “Don’t fear my child. Gods coming for you.” I see my daddy walking out, I could’ve sworn he was to cry. I say his name,  And he rushes to my side. Mom sits on me bed, Face so sad, My brothers at the end, As he explains the newest game fad. Whispers and cries echo the halls, I tell daddy I feel so small. He wipes my eyes, And tells me its alright, I tell him the lights are too bright. Mommy cries  And daddy goes silent. I smile at my family And tired I am. I tell them I love them, And they tell me too. I ask my brother to the puppy a kiss for me. I tell them to live a life of joy, Smiles and laughter, and to get the newest toy. I hug daddy, Next my brother, And mommy too.  I lay down, seeing their smile so sad. “Mommy?” I whisper, “Will the angels be mad?” “No honey, they wont” She says its not my fault, And angels never gloat. I whisper that i’m so sleepy. Daddy tells me its okay. I lay my head on mommy’s chest I tell them I’m going to rest. I see their smiles for one last time, Then I close my eyes forever line. When I they open, I see something so soft. “Come my child. Its time we fly off.” “Will I ever see my family again?” I ask in curiosity. “One day soon. Sweet child. You’ll see them, Again.” I look at my family and give them one more bright smile, “Alrighty then” Spreading her wings, White as a dove, I grab her hand, As she leads me above.

These are my last thoughts, My mother holds my tight, She sobs, cradling my lifeless body, Whispering we’ll be alright. Now I fly, So high above. Holding Gods hand, As my mothers flying dove.

[doorlesscub00]

Why don’t we build houses with security rooms anymore-? Wouldn’t that be so friggen cool-! Gaah just imagine your house has secret rooms that only you know about. Like talk about a party. 😭

[doorlesscub00]

Waiting for fics to come out about my beloved but the newest season was just released recently 😭😭

[doorlesscub00]

Beyond the Table

Chill of the breeze and the stench of death.  I must smile, nonetheless.  If not smile and vain,  Then I go back to the suffering of endless grain.

Tranquility and peace, Upon the fruit filled feast. Grateful meats of those who gave, And beverages given from the blood below, The feast is nothing but a show.

Siting around the table, They laugh while their feast reflects the riches they meek. Musn’t we be smarter than them? Musn’t we feast on the food of life too?

So why? Why must we let them win? We’ve grown lazy and toss the blame. Clawing and scratching at each other’s throats, Lacking the virtue of understanding

But what if… What if we came together, despite our difference, No, we embrace our differences.  Value the views of others who’s are so vastly differ. We’d be able to thrive! Not just die, indirectly in the hands above.

Give you’re faith to your creator and I'll give mine, For its only the ones we follow faithfully Are the ones who get to decide our fate.  For mine is my God and am a follower of Christ. Yours may be someone else,  And that is truly okay. You may not believe, but who am I to judge? For I wasn’t sure for the longest too.

And yet, They sit high and proud. Making inhumanly claims and acts. To… to be god.? God doesn’t pray on the weak to gain power. My God loves his children equally,  He teaches and shows the way. They take to gain and gain to take. Isn’t it morally wrong.?  To make their own table, And use our lives to feast the best?

Have we lost our morals along the way? Where are the ones who save themselves for their one? Why must we feel like we have to give ourselves before love? Who are the ones who still believe in true love? What makes everyone just want a quick fuck? How have we let it get this far? It’s just all one big way to erase what truly matters to us, Strip us of our dreams and hopes, Gaining power from our despair. 

So reclaim what is truly yours Are you happy?  Maybe, Maybe not. But if you don’t act to recover joy, You’re letting them win. Take charge of your life.  Not feeling up to it? That’s okay too! Just promise me one thing, Okay.? Don’t waste your life saying one day you will. Because one day, Tomorrow won’t come and the sun won’t rise. Take life with a grain of salt or else you’ll be driven mad. Don’t let life fly by because you say your hands are tied. Live. Live your life to the fullest my loves. Do that for me, yeah.?

[doorlesscub00]

Is It Love.?

I think its love I dunno if I know how to love But every thought Every conversation Notification Silly memory My stomach gets warm My chest still flutters softly  And I cant help but smile Oh I hope this is love I know its love I know I’m learning how to love

He is teaching me how  He doesn’t know it though He loves me And tells me to take it slow He know’s I’m scared He waits for me He’s there

He’s slowly teaching me how to love But don’t tell him that though I am falling in love Something I’ve never felt before Is this what love feels like? To soar?

Oh I think its love! I truly do Because I wouldn’t know would happen If Im without you…

[doorlesscub00]

Love of God

Whispers in the wind And the squawking chirps Your chill sways upon me As I listen to your words

Guide me in your light Put me through the trials  Of which I need to transcend in your grace Help me through the dark Usher along me to the bright

[doorlesscub00]

Destiney

Do you ever wish you can start anew? There is just so much I wish I didn’t do.

So much I wish I could change. But if I did, I wouldn’t be the same.

So do I wish I can have a redo? No. Because then I’d never have you.

[doorlesscub00]

List of Chapters of the Last Goodbye so far - Spencer Reid x Reader

The Last Goodbye - His Awakening - The Reunion - Forever -

[doorlesscub00]

Forever

The Last Goodbye Part 4

As you stir awake in the morning, you don't remember a thing... You stretch awake, wondering if you got hot last night and took off your pants... weird... You grab some clothes and yell when Spencer walks out of the bathroom. He greets you with a bright smile and casually asks how you slept. "W...why are you here.?" You whisper in response. He's eyes seem... dark... then replaced with a smile... a smile you've never seen before.

"I needed to make sure my dearest fiancee was doing well after last night. I can't have you being ill once you carry my child, now can I?" Your face pales immediately as you look at your shaking hand. "If you never tried leaving me then I wouldn't have had to gotten this far, love. But it's okay because / forgive you. I know you didn't t mean it, you were just... just confused. You knew you were missing something but just didn't know what," His smile turns cruel as he continues in a sweet voice, "you just needed me to figure it out didn't you? And I did honey, I figured out what you're missing!" He steps closer and holds out his arms.

"You just needed purpose. I bet you felt lonely in that cold cruel apartment, huh? Well there's no need to worry anymore!! Every single time I'm home with you I'll make sure you're full and plump, ready to give our children a life in this world." He hugs you as your hands stay limp at your side. "Now let us go home now, yes? No more attempting running away or late night hotel rooms. Once we get home, I have to chain you... you know that, don't you honey.? I wish I didn't have to, but you left me no other choice. Until you have re-earned my trust, you'll have to be tied down. I wish, you never had ran away, because I'd never have to do this. You're making me do this honey... I am sorry, you know I love you, right.?"

You just stand there stiffly and delirious as he collects your things and hands you new clothing. "Here honey, wear this." He continues to collects your things, walking out of the hotel room and threw them in his car, making his way back to you. "I'll have to come back and get your car later," mumbling to himself, he sits on the bed waiting for you to dress. Autopilotly throwing on your clothing, Spencer puts his hand on your lower back and leads you to his car. "This is truly for the best," putting the gear in drive he continues, "this way you won't be poisoned by the idea of life without me. Honey, I forgive you, so theirs no need to look so... dead, okay? I'm right here." He grabs your hand and kisses the back of it while his eyes never leave the road. "And we'll be together forever, I'll make sure of that love. Me and you, together forever..."

You look in the side mirror, looking back at the hotel, back where you almost had freedom, almost got a second chance. With a defeated sigh you lay your head on the window closing your eyes. Whispering softly with a single tear and a heavy heart, you repeat his vow to you, "forever..."

[doorlesscub00]

Blog update!!

Im actually going to start posting my poetry here because I have a bit of it and I dunno.. maybe the world should have a change to hear my voice, you know?

[doorlesscub00]

The Reunion

Part 3 of The Last Goodbye He knew you weren't there, your car wasn't in the parking lot. So, he asked the lobby, so sickly sweet, for the key, and he waited... He waited and planned everything that was to come. He dreamt that you guys would conceive your first child in this very hotel room. Not ideal, but it'll work. Just the thought of impregnanting you riles him up. Oh, you'd be the perfect mother. He'd never let you leave the house again. He'd keep you round and chained to the house forever, never a moment when you are not bearing one of his glorious children. You know what, he still has the ring on him. He made sure to grab it before he left, maybe he'll slip in on your finger when he cums in you.. that would be... heaven... He heard the knob shift, so he hid in the bathroom, waiting for the perfect time. He watches as you sluggishly enter the room, long day at work he assumes, and take off your bra pants to crawl into bed. Early night... it's perfect. You'll sleep like a baby in just a moment.. he just has to wait. So he does, he waits behind the bathroom door, watching you from the crack, as you drift into a deep sleep. That's when he slips out of the bathroom and starts shedding his clothes. Once bare, he stands next to you and slowly removes the blanket, making very calculated and precise actions, not wanting to wake you. He moves onto the bed and between your thighs, slowly slips in and feels like he's in heaven. Slowly and gently, he rocks into you. But maybe he shouldn't be gentle and kind. You tried leaving him. You don't deserve him to try being nice just because he loves you. You're his! He gets to choose what he does, and frankly he chooses you to be punished for trying to leave him! He rips your legs further apart as he puts his hands around your throat and moves at a pace which has no mercy on you. That's when you wake up dazed and confused, while he's in his bliss. You start thrashing and trying to get away when you realized, but he just tightens his grip on your throat and continues. Removing only one hand from your throat, he moves it to your clit where he forced your orgasm... He comes soon after you. You lay there confused and frozen, not processing whatsoever that he moved a pillow underneath your hips and slipped something on your finger, vaguely hearing him mention something about forever, before you drift back asleep again, hoping its all just one bad nightmare... A/N: part four is in progress

[doorlesscub00]

The last goodbye update!!

Okay hear me out!! I’m writing more for this and turning it into a series, right?? BUT I FEEL LIKE EVERY CHAPTER NEEDS A DIFFERENT NAME!! I’m not sure. Maybe I’m just special, but “the last goodbye part 2” doesn’t really fit- so imma change that name and keep a post with all the names of the chapters in the series.

Side note. I don’t know how to do a master list or add a link thing to link the chapters together, so if any of you guys could help, i would really appreciate it!!

But part three is being typed currently!! :D

[doorlesscub00]

His Awakening

Part 2 to The Last Goodbye

Maybe happy ending. Obsessive Spencer?? Mention of pregnancy. Mention of forcing proximity? Spencer off his rocker?? uhh- let me know if I forgot anything-

Reader is born a female with reproductive part. NOT PROOFREAD!!

(Spencers POV)

The case was long and daunting, and all he wished for was to go home and sleep. He swears if he gets home and gets bombarded with questions he'll flip. All he wants is to relax. He felt as if he hasn't been able to for months.

So he drives the familiar street and pulls into the drive, unnoticed your missing car was. Walking up the stairs he had an odd feeling. One he did not like, unlocked and opened the door to step inside. Cold and lonely of despair. That was the only way to describe how it felt. He called for you, frantically searching the house. Gone.. you was gone.

At first he was angry. Throwing anything he could get his hands on, yelling, screaming in futile rage. Then something happened. A snap. His eyes were no longer covered in cotton. He could see, but he wish he didn't, for what he saw pang him with sorrow.

His fault. This was all his fault. He was so enraged about being falsely sent to prison that he took his anger on you. His whole world had left him without a goodbye... he couldn't blame you though. But! Oh but!! He could find you!! Yes, find you and show you that he is the man you know, bring you back and live happily together!! But what if you wouldn't want to come back... hmmm... no. you won't have a choice. You'll return to him, you are his just as much as he is yours. And he'll make sure to put everything back in order.

So the plan was set. He would call Garcia in the morning, tell her that you lost your phone and desperately need it back. That's how he'll find you. Once he does, he'll never let you go. Not again. Never again. Maybe a few babies will make you see that.

He shutters at the thought. You, his perfect little angel, pregnant with his kids. Oh, you'll be a wonderful mother. But for now, he must lay his head on the cold pillow in this damper room and rest, awaiting until he can claim what is rightfully his.

-----------------------------Next Morning---------------------------------

He waked up bright and early, man on a mission, to reclaim the one he loves, the one he desires. Making sure he had more than plenty of time to spare, he headed to a grocery store along his usual route to pick up some cookies and blueberry croissants. Bribes... He plans on giving them to Penelope, saying some random excuse. He walk into Garcia’s cave all chipper, saying he’s throwing a surprise party for you and he needed her help so you wouldn’t find out. Of course Penelope was more than happy to help!! She didn't ask many questions, oblivious to the darkness that lay just behind his eyes when the hotel address appeared on the screen. The day at the office was a rather quiet one, no case to he held, just to his luck, and he managed to clock out in record time, rushing to the hotel. The hotel.. The one you decided to run to. The one which kept his love under lock and key.. The one he'll save you from. His perfect little angel.. Just you wait. Your night and shining armor will save you soon. You will lay next to him tonight, he'll make sure of that.

A/N: Okay so I know that I started this like two months ago, but I swear I didn't mean to neglect my baby!! Guys I am so sorry for the wait! And I was thinking about making this into a fluffy series, and then I started writing and idk what I'm doing anymore!! but I am writing part three and I am so proud of this!! Let me know what you're thoughts are, and thank you for reading my silly little Spencer obsessed fics :)

[doorlesscub00]

UPDATE!!

So I have decided to turn The Last Goodbye into a series. I am not sure how many chapters I am going to make it, but I feel as if this needs a series. It's just too special to pass up on. Anywho, I'm working on chapter 2 now!! Thank you all for reading chapter one!!