For 3 years now, I have been struggling with emotional eating. I eat whenever I feel stress and I eat whenever I feel lonely. The latter often intensifies my overall emotions, resulting in my desire to indulge to fill up the emotional void.
I do not know when this whole emotional eating habits started but I do know that my weight had been experiencing the “roller coaster” effect. I have always wanted to be thin enough to be “beautiful”. Perhaps, that IS the problem- wishing to fit into the society’s expectation of what makes a girl pretty.
The past week, I was eating clean in school. I have managed to curb my cravings but just yesterday, I gave in! Chocolates, fries, anything fried and sweet, i craved it so much and I ate it all. Of course, I felt guilty and that made me want to eat even more. With that, for 2 days straight, I’ve devoured a packet of cookies, a whole bag of chips, MacDonald’s meal, soft drinks, 3 slices of bread and anything you can name, I’ve had it all. What is worse, I ate all of that at night, after dinner in the comfort my room, feeling embarrassed but desperate.
Today, I told myself I’ve had enough. I want to be able to eat properly again and not having to fear my weight or foods. I don’t want to think about what I can eat, what i cannot eat and instead be mindful of my life. I have read so much articles and watched too much videos but it is up to me to change my life. It is my actions that counts. And this time, after so many trials and errors, I will make it.
I AM GOING ON A HEALING JOURNEY. I am prepared to face the many ups and downs, but I am confident that I will be able to get out of this emotional eating habits and start eating to nourish my body and to feel good! It can be challenging but I will get through this. I can change my habits. I cannot control what goes on in my life sometimes, but I can always control what I put into my body.
With that, I hereby announced the start of my healing journey. I did not plan on sharing my struggles, but I hope that this would one of the way for me to complete my healing journey and at the same time, giving hope to others who are struggling with emotional eating too.
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