Building my life

This is a new page about starting a new life, building a future and becoming a police officer

[sorrowsoulgirl]

Worse day

Well today started out good but ended badly but I’m moving home in 19 days and I can’t wait me and this guy (not gonna say a name) had a thing it started out perfect but things just got rushed and things ended not the best but it will be okay I’m just going to focus on being with family and new friends, having fun and going home it’s not going to be a full on update till I get home and have my laptop but till then I will talk to you all next time

SorrowSoulGirl going offline xxxii

[dorkyface69-blog]

I fucked up. I just want us to be friends and be happy

[dorkyface69-blog]

1st Jan cont.2

Guess we are on to the next chapter of my life now. I'm not going to use real names here since I think she'd perfer me not to :p. So I guess we will call her Susan. There's really not much to say here but I'll do my best :). Susan really opened my eyes to the world. Made me see more and most of all taste more 😂. You know what I really don't understand tho. Susan has been through so much. A family member passing away, a best friend betraying her, her crush ignoring her and on top of all this she has a sore body pretty much every day. She's a bloody micirle. Like she's such an amazing person to be able to push through all this and show a happy side now and then. I fell for Susan. Fell in love with her. A few weeks passes everything was on track but me being me, I pushed things hella to fast and ended up pushing her away in the process. But you know what. Maybe it's gonna be for the better :) we came out as friends. Hopefully friends for life. Good friends are so hard to find these days and when one comes along you gotta hold on tight with both hands and never let go. Yeah I guess it hurt a bit when the together side of things was over but it's okay. I built my bridge and I'm over it, there's another girl out there for me somewhere I know it and there is an amazing guy out there for her too :). But one amazing thing that happened is that I now have the opportunity to move up north with Susan and I'm so excited, like I've never been more excited for anything ever 😂. Anyways I'ma keep this one short. Super tired. Night all and thanks for reading :)

Daniel.

[poems-and-word]

[dorkyface69-blog]

1st Jan cont.

So this girl Maddy, I met her online via MeetMe, we bonded so much. Weeks past of us talking online and we agree to meet for the first time. Now this turned out to be quite a frightening day for me, first of all she lived 25km away from me and all I had was a push bike. Also Maddy never told her parents about me at the beginning. She pulled a sicky from school to meet me but she has a twin sister who wanted to stay home as well that day. So I set out at like 5am, took me around 3 hours to bike there. I was so tired when I got there. Like literally about to collapse 😂. But it was all worth it. She walked to the end of the Street to greet me, we hugged and said hi :). God this day was absolutely amazing. She lived next to a rugby field so we spend the morning just chilling in the park talking. Was a beautiful morning. Later on in the day we headed back to her place trying to hide from her sister. We managed to keep it a secret (God knows how 😂) we spent the rest of the day until 3pm just chilling watching movies. This day would always be in my mind. But then it took a darker turn. Maddy stood up to grab a drink but in doing so her jacked slipped a bit and her arm showed. She had cuts all up her forearm. They must of been from the night before since they were still bright red. From that day on I spent every night trying to talk her out of suicide and harming her self more. These nights were so painful for both me and her. But I did it, well I thought. She stopped for around 2 weeks. I was feeling so happy for her. That she managed to be that strong. But it wasnt enough. One day at school I get a call from her during her lunch break. She was sitting in the bathroom crying and apologizing for the bigger things in life she has done. She apologized to me for putting me through all this, she said she loved me, she hung up the phone and the next thing I did was call her best friend who managed to get to her in time. And to this day I don't regret telling her best friend. Saving a life is way more important than having a relationship with someone ya know. The day after, I get a message from her asking why I didn't let her go. Why I had to stop her. I gave her so many reasons to want to live and she just couldn't handle it. She was so mad at me she blocked me and didn't want anything todo with me anymore. Was a very dark time for me after that. I didn't know what to do.. continued tomorrow :), thanks for reading.

Daniel.

[dorkyface69-blog]

1st Jan 2018

Hey guys, it's the first of January 2018, the start of a good year. My life has been all over the place in the last few months, everything was the same old normal until about March when I met a lovely girl named Kiesha, I fell for her nearly instantly. She has the most beautiful eyes and is probably the best artist I've ever met. We got along so well at the beginning, we shared so many interests. It was absolutely amazing feeling like I mattered, I had someone who would show passion when I was around, someone who would help me feel better when im down. The feeling was absolutely amazing. All was fine for about a month. Then she started to drift, wanted to hang out less, talk less and when we were around each other she'd try keep her distance. She feel for another guy, it absolutely crushed me. I spent weeks curled up in bed. She was the first girl I actually had real feelings for. But it was okay, I got over her. Took a few weeks then poof, gone.

After all that I didn't feel like dating for awhile. Spent about 3 weeks just chilling with friends online and trying to live with the pain of feeling worthless. Will continue the rest in a few hours about this girl Maddy and her troubles she was going through. Thanks for reading

Daniel.

[dorkyface69-blog]

Hey guys, well if anyone's out there. This is my first post. My first step to something bigger. My life has been nothing until a few months ago when I met this lovely girl. She changed my life. Changed it for the better :). About to start the big journey on the 24th of January so I'll keep everyone posted :) hope someone's out there to listen

[glitteringddaisies]

[fallendaedra]

[forever-pretty-dead-inside]

I don’t feel like I’m enough for him

[blackcardmotel]

how to tell if I'm sad again

•I don’t respond to your texts for days

•I don’t respond to your texts for hours

•I don’t respond to your texts at all

•I respond with short answers

•I sound disinterested in our conversations, texting or not

•I don’t eat/drink/talk as much as usual

•I stare out into space more than often

•I stay in one place/a few places for long periods of time without moving v much

•I lose track of time

•I rub my head/eyes as if I have a migraine

•I talk more quietly than normal

•I don’t talk abt myself at all

•I make cynical comments, especially abt my existence

•I sleep too much or too little

this is not just me, though. these are common signs/things to be aware of and look for in people/friends/family members struggling w depression. stay safe, and stay aware.

[endlesslifeinpain]

[forever-pretty-dead-inside]

Sweet dreams Ems :) really looking forward too the 24th :p

Sweet dreams I can’t wait is well :)

[thoughts-memories]

[dorkyface69-blog]

So true

[boy-so-pale]