The train car rushed along its dark passage, weaving through the network of tunnels beneath the city. You sat, decompressing from a long work day, taking in the sights and sounds of your familiar commute home.
You were fortunate to have found a seat today, holding your bag snug on your lap instead of bracing against a pole or hanging onto a sticky handle to steady yourself. You tucked your legs in close, conscious to not take up too much space so that others could pass by. One earbud played music, the other ear free to take in the sounds of public transit.
This was your everyday routine, this shuffle of bodies, this mechanical jolting and stopping, this familiar blend of voices and laughter cut through by the muffled conductor’s voice overhead. The familiarity of the routine made people watching the perfect way to pass the time. You usually saw the same collection of faces- the old woman with the floral cane, the portly business man with his checkered tie- but today you caught sight of a new face.
This boy was beautiful. If you had to guess, you’d say he was in his early twenties. Dark hair fell into his eyes as he read his book. You had access to take in his features, noticing his high cheekbones, his perfectly-crafted cupid's bow arching over full lips, his wide dark eyes and the way his dark lashes contrasted with his skin.
You felt giddy, staring at him, a girlish crush blossoming in your chest. You hid a smile in your scarf as you noticed the slender beauty of his large hands, his delicate fingers turning the page. The butterflies in your stomach quickly turned into daydreams of your future with him. Him taking your hand before you left the train, asking you to stay, to take the seat next to him, tell him everything about yourself. You could almost feel the way his skin would be soft and warm against yours as it rubbed small circles against your knuckles while you spoke, distracting you, but his warm eyes would find yours, he’d nod in encouragement so you’d keep speaking, keep telling him everything you ever dreamed about.
Daydreams faded back into reality as a mother and son walked past, towards the opening doors, breaking your view of the boy. When they passed, you saw him again, perfect bow lips twisted in concentration. You saw him try, fail, and struggle to keep his eyes on the page and not on the bickering women beside him. Stolen Focus the title read. You caught a glimpse when he shifted in his seat, the large letters of the title barely visible between his long, elegant fingers. His hands were beautiful, everything about him was beautiful.
Stolen focus, how you wished that just for a second you could steal his. You watched his large, rich brown eyes dart across the page, willing them to look up, across the narrow aisle, to you.
Your eyes trailed down from his face, taking in his long, long legs. One stretched out into the aisle, a tripping hazard for anyone boarding, the other bounced with a nervous energy that shook his whole slender frame slightly.
A muffled voice blared over the old train car speakers, announcing the stop two ahead of yours. It wouldn’t be long now before you parted ways from the beautiful boy across from you. Unless this was his stop, or next? Maybe that would be easier? If he were the one to leave first? Freeing you from the impossible responsibility of having to break this fantasy? Save you from the urge to stand up and see if maybe, just maybe, he would like to recreate Before Sunrise with you?
Or maybe, even better, he’d get off at the same stop as you, walk the same path home as you, take this route a thousand more times, a constant factor, a million more chances to catch his eye, to make him smile, to start a life intertwined with his.
Such fantasies were dangerous. You knew this. You always set your heart up to break, but you couldn’t help it.
The rush of bodies exiting and boarding the train briefly broke you from your daydream. More bodies, more strangers entered the scene. What if instead of this boy, your future was with one of these others? No, you thought, not today at least. Your beautiful stranger sat straight in his seat, reaching for his phone from his jacket pocket. There was the stolen focus, you thought, smiling to yourself.
Again the warbled voice called over the speakers, calling out the stop before yours. The boy did not move, didn’t do more than cock his head to hear, before turning his twice-broken focus back to his phone. Your heart braced for disappointment as the train lurched from the platform, racing towards your stop. Either your stranger would leap up, grab your hand and run away with you like a fairytale, or he would bury his head back in his pages, never even knowing that you existed.
The doors chimed open as you came to your stop and you sighed, fighting the heartbreak you yourself invented. You stood to leave. The hot air of the platform rushed over your skin as the doors slid open. You felt compelled for one last look at your stranger.
Your heart skipped a beat as you turned to look back and found his brown eyes staring at you. Time seemed to slow as his gaze held yours, though it was only for a second, before he smiled, cupid’s bow mouth grinning wide, revealing deep dimples in his cheeks. It felt like a million futures on a million branches suddenly bloomed for you with his smile. He was beautiful before, locked into his book, but his smile, the curl of his lips and scrunch of his eyes, they made him light up in a way that made your heart flutter.
The rush of bodies, all commuters eager to go home, propelled you forward, out of the train, away from the warmth of your stranger’s smile, but you hoped, as you found yourself smiling fondly, that that wouldn’t be the last smile he gave you.