Swoon

Highlighting some of New York's most eligible men

[downtodate-blog]

Normally I block out usernames, but the beauty of this submission is the username itself. Way to go Bro, I hope you meet some lovely ladies who just want to Sour Your Nuts. What a catch! 

[downtodate-blog]

Yeah Bro, that's exactly how I want to spend my Friday night. You had me at Dump

[downtodate-blog]

I gotta say, at least I respect this dude for being super upfront that he just wants to hit it and quit it. He's not the only one using online dating for sex. 

[downtodate-blog]

Is it still called deflowering when you take a dude's virginity? Hmmm... 

[downtodate-blog]

You're grossly in love with my beautiful face? How about we not use the words gross and face in the same sentence, and let's pump the brakes on being in love with anything at this stage. 

[downtodate-blog]

I woke up one morning feeling especially desirable because I had 17 new messages in my account. Unfortunately, they were all sent at 5 in the morning from one dude with an impulse control disorder. Way to go bro, this is definitely the way to get me to go out with you. 

[downtodate-blog]

This dude doesn't even need to suggest a date idea, girls are clearly going to be knocking down his door based on his super flattering photo alone. Is that a cigarette or a pen in your mouth? Are you trying to tell me you have an oral fixation? Swooooon. Seriously bro, is this the best (or just the only) photo you could find of yourself? 

[downtodate-blog]

Now to be fair (and to give this guy the benefit of the doubt) maybe this dude is just really into acting and brooding moods and weird shit. But dude, do you really think this photo is going to attract that lady friend you're searching for? Maybe. There is a lid for every pot. 

[downtodate-blog]

Who is this creepy 30-year old man child in your photo? Is it you and you actually have a rare form of genetic disorder (if so I'm sorry), is it your way of telling potential lady suitors that you have a child, or are you just a pedophile?

[downtodate-blog]

Now to be honest, I bet there are plenty of ladies out there that would find this guy attractive. But he loses points over the fact that he doesn't even understand the basic concept of the How About We dating site... 

How about we ... very friendly and lover? No thanks. 

[downtodate-blog]

I may have a mild form of narcolepsy, or a drinking problem - but I swear I am so much fun! 

[downtodate-blog]

Sweet abs, dude. Actually you do have way more abs than I've seen on a human before but is this photo really the way to meet that special someone you want to take home to your mother? 

[downtodate-blog]

Welcome to Swoon

Welcome to Swoon, we are so glad you found us!

Swoon is a feed exclusively dedicated to showcasing some of New York's most utterly desirable, and disastrously eligible men. Actually, it's dedicated to highlighting some ill fated attempts at online dating. In most cases, except where it's relevant, usernames have been redacted. Enjoy!