â gemmapavlova â
He says her name like a prayer, like the answer to a question heâs spent an eternity mulling over, and she knows himâknows his voice, even though theyâve spoken fewer times than it would take her to occupy each and every one of the digits on her hands, knows the sharp angle of his jaw, the rise and fall of his cheekbones. But perhaps more than she knows him now, as he may or may not be, she remembers him then, as he was when she was but a village thief, a girl whoâd seemingly stuck her nose where it didnât belong and bloodied someone elseâs for it. She remembers his hand, warm against the delicate skin of her wrist, his thumb tracing the bone like a road on one of her fatherâs old maps, the rush of certainty sheâd feltâlike waking up bathed in sunlight after a lifetime spent in a room as dark as it was coldâand light, enough to color midnight gold as noon.
She remembers, and she doesnât shy away, because for all that black may suit her (his doing, undoubtedly), cowardice does not.
âThank you,â Gemma murmurs, blue gaze slipping from his for a moment to admire the spill of black silk and gold thread she dons, the sun pendant peeking cheekily out from beneath one of the keftaâs folds. She looks strong, sharpâdomineering, evenânothing at all like outcast sheâd once been, and she canât bring herself to chide him for making the decision for her, although the thought had made itself at home in the corner of her mind. Recalling her motherâs adviceâto call a lovely thing what it was if only for the sake of not letting that loveliness go to waste, she continues, a distant relative of fondness seeping into her tone, âItâs beautiful.â
Her lips part, and a polite dismissal dances on the tip of her tongue, all pirouettes and piquĂ©s, but it remains there, prompted to pause by the questions that trail his apology, and she waitsâone heartbeat, then two, then threeâbefore she responds, light curling avidly around her fingers for lack of other direction. âWell.â As well as she could be, all things considered, but she has a feeling he knows, and men who live extraordinarily long lives must get so terribly jaded from hearing the same things over and over again. Something akin to a smile curls the edges of her lips, though, and she thinks the champagne mightâve made her brave. âYouâre kind to offer, moi soverennyi, but I worry to think what I could possibly accomplish if a ball is enough to send me running.â And sheâs joking, but only half-so.
To run for miles is one thing; to be dragged is another breed of tiring entirely.
âWeâll have to give them what they want. And thatâs you.â Her smile falters a bit at that, ravaged by nerves and the nagging sense that there are few things in her life that havenât changedâothersâ opinions of her not being one of them. How strange, to have oneâs presence be sought after after years of being turned away on friendâs doorsteps. How unnerving, to do so under circumstances such as these. The part of his tone that hints at his own discontent with the nightâs arrangement doesnât escape her notice, but she neglects to address it, asking instead, âWonât you let me try to summon on my own first?â She supposes she could understand if heâd rather not risk itânot when their audience is so influential, but the question begged to be asked all the same; sheâs never liked dependence, and it proves a thorn in her side, even now. âI can.â
He makes a mental note to thank the man who brought Gemmaâs kefta to life. Not for the fact that Druvik followed the orders that were given to him, but because of the feelings that are rising up the Darklingâs throat the longer his gaze lingers on the Sun Summonerâs curving form. Once, he would have written it off as an influx bile, but the taste is far too sweet to be blamed on the acid that sizzles in the pit of his stomach. Itâs a candy he hasnât tasted since childhood. A sweetness he calls foreign with puckered lips and squinted eyes, but still savours with a sense of familiarity. He holds her stare and he sees himself reflected, but as much as he wants to claim her as his equal, he recognizes that he must allow her all the centuries of growth that were provided for him. He must be patient. For the first time, he has to sit back and give up all control.
The Darkling still takes a step forward. âYou should praise the figure that gives it shape,â he starts with a low tone, standing far enough away as not to pressure her, but close enough that he feels the electric urge to reach out and take her wrist again. âWould you call yourself a selfish woman, Gemma? Do you take care of yourself?â He exhales something like a choked whistle, but itâs meant to be a laugh. âThe longer you walk the halls of the Grand Palace, the sooner youâll realize that the Ravkan nobility are only concerned with themselves.â A grin slips itself over the stretch of his lips, and he turns to stare at the stream of moonlight that floods the space between them. âGrisha must be selfless. We have to put the world before ourselves, then after that is done may we dig up our bones and try to mend the fractures.â He sighs. âWhich is all and well, but whatâs the harm in a little self-pleasure?â Heâs not sure whether heâs trying to tempt her into making the first move, or if heâs just being metaphorical for the sake of the moment, so he shrugs off the subject altogether.
Her words are accepted with an inclining of his head, brow furrowing just enough to leave a single wrinkle. âPerhaps that is true. Canât have the hero of our generation fleeing from a dance, can we?â His hand reaches out, but he stops before reaching her skin, instead letting the pale light pool in the palm of his hand. There was a time heâd have dismissed it, but he has found that as of late that he has an appreciation for even the smallest things. Gemma is the first bloom after a harsh winter. She is the fledgling bird that flies even after falling from its tree. She has taught him not to underestimate, and perhaps thatâs her first mistake. His expectations for her are stacked so highly that should they fall, sheâd be crushed. He continues to stack them regardless of the risks. Itâs not her fault that sheâs his dream. He recognizes that sheâs never asked to be the object of his desires. But the night claims the stars without giving them a chance to declare independence, so he does the same.
The faltering of her smile pulls against the strings of his heart more than it should. âAre you sure thatâs a safe decision? I canât imagine the court would react well should you falter.â He sees her fire, however, and itâs not his place to scold a once free woman in chains. How pitiful; to be commanded by a man sheâs only just met. A man she does not know. He realizes that it is wise to comfort her. âGemma,â he starts, and he lowers his voice to a soft whisper. It cracks while he draws in a breath, almost unsteady. âIâm sorry. I should be more sensitive.â He turns on his heels, starting to walk away before speaking over his shoulder. âWalk with me?â He continues along the path, trusting that sheâll follow. âIf Iâve ever pressured you, Iâd like to apologize. Itâs easier when Iâm able to keep watch over things. When itâs on my hands if something goes wrong, not yours. I didnât want to put you in danger of failing.â Then theyâre out in the cold air, a flurry of snow around them and the cleared out entrance to the Grand Palace illuminated only by flickering lamps.Â
âBut you already are, arenât you? I canât protect you forever. You have to stand on your own.â He keeps going, boots thudding against the cobblestone until her turns to find her standing beside him, and he smiles with cheeks that are burning red. âAre you a gambling woman? Do you want to make things more exciting?â He lifts a finger, arching it in the direction of a golden spire that looms at the top of the palace. âThink you can reach it? Think you can make it shine?â He exhales with excitement, tendrils of visible air slipping from the gap between his lips. âIf you can do it, youâll stand on your own during the display. I will be with you, but I will not touch you. I will not assist.â He crosses his arms, his dimple appearing with a curve on his left cheek. âIf not, Iâll amplify you like the first time.â He takes his place at her side, moving his hands to his waist and standing with a boyish pride. âWhat do you say? Sound like a fair bet, Sun Summoner?â














