Dr. Nobody

"I know about art and love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being" -Toulouse-Lautrec She/Her, 23

[dr-nobody-1999]

As the Wind Breaks

The wind is blowing towards the west today,

It will reach you soon.

I whispered my secrets into its twists and turns,

I laid my fears upon it's back.

Listen to the wind,

As it rips the leaves from willow trees,

As it breaks the rose's spine,

As it cracks the window pane,

As it chills

Listen

[dr-nobody-1999]

Eternity Pt. 2

Time hovers over my shoulder,

Whispers that he's running late.

Like life he drones on about how poorly I've spent him.

Yet your voice quiets the fear,

Cloaks the sound of the ticking clock,

And wrapped within your love,

I get a glimpse of what eternity could be.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Late night drives down the back roads,

Tears and fears flying freely between the two of us.

And life at every turn,

Threatening to rip us from this earth,

The second we let our hands drift from each other's grasp.

Who would have guessed,

Four years ago,

That I would be taking this drive by myself one day.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Somewhere deep within the ruins of my broken heart lies a portrait of your face.

And I keep it there like a beacon of light, to remind myself what love is.

But you are not here, trapped within a painting in my mind.

You are worlds away, and love is but a distant dream.

[dr-nobody-1999]

One day I will have no more stories to tell, and no more thoughts to share...

I fear that day.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Error 404 Poet Not Found

I write poems but I am not a poet,

I am merely a pretender.

I mold my feelings into words,

Weave my past into a clever tale,

But can these lines stand on their own?

Can they turn the tides of war?

Can they bring men to tears,

Move people to accomplish great feats?

Can they tug at the strings of the mind,

Bring forth questions that were dormant before?

Can they raise the dead?

Can they immortalize the living?

Can they make people believe in monsters?

Heros?

Ghosts?

Love?

Can they make people believe in love?

[dr-nobody-1999]

Life is a choose your own adventure book.

Read by thousands before us.

Frantic notes scribbled in the margins,

Pages ripped from the spine,

Whole chapters scattered across the concrete.

Chaos, wrapped in endless choices and alternate paths,

But the ending is the same for everyone.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Silence pt.2

When I was younger the world was loud. 

I look outside and I see them laughing,

Yet no sound reaches my ears.

Maybe they are not laughing,

Maybe their mouths are being contorted by some unknown force.

Maybe they are forcefully trying to push air out from their hollowed lungs.

Maybe their eyes are crinkled with the pain of an unspoken plea.

Maybe they are not laughing at all,

Maybe they are screaming,

Maybe they are dying,

Maybe they need my help,

Maybe I should go outside...

But no.

I couldn't.

I built this house.

Who would water the plants?

Feed the cats?

It's been so long, what if it's changed out there?

I lost my jacket and shoes years ago,

What if it's cold?

What if they were just laughing?

I don't know any jokes.

No,

I think I'll stay inside.

Curl up by the fire,

Nice,

Warm,

Safe.

You know, when I was younger the world was loud. 

But now as I walk the halls of this wooden house, 

Glancing out windows,

Making memories of strangers,

I can't even remember the last time I heard a sound. 

I wonder,

Did people stop speaking,

Or did I stop listening?

[dr-nobody-1999]

For My Love

I find it difficult to string a sentence.

My thoughts run wild.

Wanting to be heard all at once,

Yet wanting to fill the confines of my mind at the same time.

Sometimes I spot some promising gems.

And I gather them up one by one.

Little coaching before I usher them down the crook of my arm,

And onto the page below.

But they are different now,

older...

They wear suits and ties.

They speak chins up and mouths turned down.

They are not the words I wanted you to see.

Quickly,

I erase each fault,

Each out of place loop,

Until the only thing left of my childlike truth is the sole phrase

I love you

Yet alone,

Small,

Straining to replace years of silence.

It suddenly does not seem like enough.

So I gather those words too.

And have only a blank page to leave by your side.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Darling I understand

I am the blade of grass,

You are the willow tree.

I am the golden cage,

While you are the whispering blue jay.

And I think I understand now,

Why you left me behind.

For what could a blade of grass,

Possibly offer a willow tree?

And why would a blue jay,

Trade the world for a golden cage?

[dr-nobody-1999]

Am I the Last Spring Leaf

[dr-nobody-1999]

Winter

They say it's winter now.

I see the frost upon the window sill.

I hear the crunch of snow beneath my feet.

Outside, ice makes its way up the willow's bark.

Weaves around the lilac's petals,

Draining life...

Freezing breath...

But in my home,

Far beyond the welcome mat,

A fire rages.

I feel my skin crack beneath its heat,

I feel the flames creep into my lungs.

Into my mind...

Into my soul...

My thoughts turn to ash.

Each word I speak, singed around the edges.

And they will say,

"My God it's cold in here"

"Don't you know it's winter now?"

And I will laugh.

Say "Of course, I'm sorry"

I will turn on the heat.

Put fresh wood inside the fireplace,

Pass out blankets and hot chocolate

And I will close my eyes,

Drift to sleep.

And dream of colder days.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Don't Listen to the Wind Darling

Alone.

The grass tickles the back of my neck,

Urges me to focus.

To pay attention as the clouds paint pictures in the steel blue sky,

To pay attention as the wind weaves gently through the oak leaves,

To listen closely as the hummingbirds sing me a lullaby.

And for a second I do,

I listen,

To the clouds,

To the wind,

To the birds,

And through the chaos I hear them whisper,

"She never really loved you"

...

Silly me,

To think that birds could talk.

[dr-nobody-1999]

She asked for hot chocolate, but all I had to offer her was tea. And with one look into her hazel eyes I knew, that she knew, that it would never be enough.

[dr-nobody-1999]

I want the features of your face to fade,

I want the sound of your voice to distort.

But the chains of our love bind me to this world.

And without the memories of us,

I might forget why I'm here.

[dr-nobody-1999]

Dr. Nobody

Who are you?

Yesterday you followed me.

Whispered suggestions into my open ears.

Today you are silent.

You pulled my mouth up into a crooked smile,

You propped my arm into a wave.

Now as the conversation starts to drift,

I am here alone.

To clean up your mess.

To destroy the bridges you almost built,

Retract the branches you tried to extend.

I am too weak for the both of us,

And you are too scared,

And too inconsistent.

Who are you,

To meddle with my life this way?

[dr-nobody-1999]

I know now that I could never reach you,

Because your feet graze solid ground,

And I'm still talking to the clouds.