keep on swinging

Patrick Seaver, MD

[dr-pat-seaver]

I have to admit that my threshold for embarrassment is pathetic.

Ohhh that’s fun.

[dr-pat-seaver]

And risk accidentally killing a kid? Not a chance.

The ones I’ve seen today are surprisingly hardy.

[dr-pat-seaver]

@ Seamus

Pat: Hey mate, can you take Moose out? Thought I'd be out on time.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Scary. Very very scary. Either people are glaring at you or getting way too close.

Wanna switch? 

[dr-pat-seaver]

I’m sorry I don’t normally carry Chipotle with me on my runs.

Well, that’s strike one. 

How’s the outside world?

[dr-pat-seaver]

Sorry. All I brought was a Hydroflask.

Useless, you’re fired.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Easton. Good to meet ya, Pat.

I can turn beet red in peace. Is it? At least now I know I can handle it if I ever get the chance to visit.

Cheers, Easton.

It’s intense, that’s how Seamus makes people cry. You might need an audience for that one, if I’m honest. Rite of passage.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Supporting our healthcare staff is very important.

An eye for an eye. It’s quite the adventure. I’m enjoying myself. I had finally made my way through Thai food with some friends pre-lockdown, so I’m getting ready to move into Korean cuisine via takeout. Climbing the spice ladder.

This is my emotional support.....sorry, didn’t catch your name. ‘m Pat. Rick....uh, but most people just call me Pat.

I guess that’s useful during lockdown, if you make a wrong step then no one is there to witness your shame. Indian’s killer but I’m used to it, that’s a big thing in London.

[dr-pat-seaver]

We’ll start a petition. I’ll have at least one hundred signatures for you by the end of the day.

Yes, I can hear that. Don’t worry, I’m very white too. I grew up home-garden vegan, so I’m having to slowly introduce flavors into my life.

I’d call that essential work.

My roommate’s British Pakistani so his favorite thing is making food that makes me cry. Gives him a rush but to be fair....colonization. How’s that going for you?

[dr-pat-seaver]

Aw, sorry. Fresh out. This is the best I can do.

What toppings do you like on your chips?

Who do I have to speak to for some good dirt around here?

Everything but like, not a lot of jalapeños....I’m a very white Londoner.

[dr-pat-seaver]

How about nachos?

...honestly mate, I would eat dirt with hot sauce at this point.

[dr-pat-seaver]

All I want is a burrito and a nap.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Mean’s you’re a good doctor. Respect.

Sounds like you two have a loving relationship.

Doing my best. It’s a relief having you help, even though it’s just horrible. Remind me to buy you a drink after this.

That’s just who he is. Been that way since high school.

[dr-pat-seaver]

I think that would bring on another set of issues if you were stripping for child patients. That’s definitely one way to bond.

Alright, Pat. I don’t really have a nickname. My family calls me Dev, but I hate it, so only they can say it. We’re Irish, so we don’t really listen to each other. Or respect boundaries.

I....yeah. You’re right. Helps the kids, lots of anxiety flying around.

Devin, then? Oh, my best friend’s Irish. I should give him a call but he’d hate it probably. I’ll do it anyway.

[dr-pat-seaver]

How much ink do you have?

Holy fuck. And I thought my three siblings were too much. Is that an invitation?

This arm’s all done, uh my other arm’s got some...got some on my back, some on my chest.........the kids don’t draw on those. Just, uh, the arms.

My roommate used to get a ton of them and I’d always go with and inevitably get one done with him.

You can call me Pat. We’re going to be In This for a while.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Do any of them even understand the implications of it? Kids have a hard enough time not coughing on everything within a three foot radius.

Yeah. Pandemics don’t stop labor pains. Infants wait for nothing. Devin Byrne. Hi.

I think they know it’s....it’s something big. But then I let them color in my tattoos and then it’s fine. Oh, absolutely. 

Can confirm, I’m one of 12. They don’t give a shit about your timeline. Patrick Seaver, friends call me Pat.

[dr-pat-seaver]

Oh, that’s fucked up. I don’t know if I’d tell my kid they might have 2020′s plague. Just tell them they’re sick and leave it there.

You’re in pediatrics, I assume?

I dunno what I’d do. Think I agree though, not to scare them too much.

Yep. I’m the on-call pediatrician right now. You’re in labor and delivery, right?