Reel It In

[t0sh]

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

Ohhh that’s fun.

My brother thinks so.

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

Cheers, Easton.

It’s intense, that’s how Seamus makes people cry. You might need an audience for that one, if I’m honest. Rite of passage.

I have to admit that my threshold for embarrassment is pathetic.

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

This is my emotional support…..sorry, didn’t catch your name. ‘m Pat. Rick….uh, but most people just call me Pat.

I guess that’s useful during lockdown, if you make a wrong step then no one is there to witness your shame. Indian’s killer but I’m used to it, that’s a big thing in London.

Easton. Good to meet ya, Pat.

I can turn beet red in peace. Is it? At least now I know I can handle it if I ever get the chance to visit.

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

I’d call that essential work.

My roommate’s British Pakistani so his favorite thing is making food that makes me cry. Gives him a rush but to be fair….colonization. How’s that going for you?

Supporting our healthcare staff is very important.

An eye for an eye. It’s quite the adventure. I’m enjoying myself. I had finally made my way through Thai food with some friends pre-lockdown, so I’m getting ready to move into Korean cuisine via takeout. Climbing the spice ladder.

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

Who do I have to speak to for some good dirt around here?

Everything but like, not a lot of jalapeños….I’m a very white Londoner.

We’ll start a petition. I’ll have at least one hundred signatures for you by the end of the day.

Yes, I can hear that. Don’t worry, I’m very white too. I grew up home-garden vegan, so I’m having to slowly introduce flavors into my life.

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

…honestly mate, I would eat dirt with hot sauce at this point.

Aw, sorry. Fresh out. This is the best I can do.

What toppings do you like on your chips?

[stolenfireandice]

[eastonfoster]

dr-pat-seaver‌:

All I want is a burrito and a nap.

How about nachos?

[oberynmartell]

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

That’s too much of anything. Like……that’s just so much. Why are you this extra?

Oh what? I’ll let it slip about your turducken.

The world is so much bigger than we were allowed to know, Rivers. I’m just exploring my horizons.

I’ll tell about your butter moments. She expects it more from me than you. You’re her little mini me.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

It can be done well, East. Tofurky’s not bad, you’re just rude.

And as your brother, I have no problem making you kiss a sweaty mat when you do.

I’m just enlightened. I was introduced to the turducken last year. It was the most unnecessary thing on the planet, but by the gods did it taste really damn good.

I’ll tell on you.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

Oh, younger than that, I think. I just give a bonus, rent’s just insane here and my trainers work hard. I think we’ll bring back the potluck though, folks liked that a lot last year.

Do you think that’s wise?

I draw a hard line at tofurkey, Rivers. Give them something sustainable.

I don’t care what your license says. I’m your brother and I’ll try to kick you when I feel like it until the day I die.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

Oh god no, she said she’s spending Thanksgiving at an action anyway . There’s no ethical consumption under capitalism, you know that. I’m thinking I might too, it might be nice to go see some trees at home, be one with the earth for a second.

Oh you know I know. We were taught that at like, what? Seven? I feel no guilt participating in office Secret Santas.

If you pull magnets out of your pockets, I’ll kick you.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

Oh shut up. 

Probably not, she said something about Christmas, though. I think she was trying to be sly and say we should go home.

When I asked her about Thanksgiving, she called it a “gluttonous holiday”, so Christmas is a safe bet. Even though, by then she’ll revisit her anti-capitalism stance. But I’ll go home for Christmas. I do miss those crazy Midwesterners waving from their drives.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

I found only one kind of conditioner that works for my hair, it’s too thick for anything else. You have Mom’s hair.

I’ll keep your secret. She was here last week.

The volume with the thin texture. It’s a blessing.

Which means she won’t be ‘round for another month.

[eastonfoster]

rivers-foster‌:

It’s no different than a gym smell.  They’re both on, go and stand in front of them. Anyways, you’re wearing too much cologne and it’s irritating my eyes. A single spritz is enough.

I can even admit to having it from time to time, it’s pretty good.

I avoid those too, actually. It’s this new conditioner. I don’t like it. Weighs my hair down.

I’m even putting it on, get this, sourdough toast. She’d faint if she saw.