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DEAR READER
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i don't do bad sauce passes
occasionally subtle
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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@draggingperspective
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
Usually, Declared are not a matter for Mother. Sina Stu-art'h, however, is.
(spoiler for Chapter 274)
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Super Supportive - Sleyca Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Mother (Super Supportive) Additional Tags: minor Mother & Jeneth, minor Stu & Alden
The trick with magical contracts forged from the mutual understanding of both parties is that there aren't any loopholes.
Contract yourself to take out the garbage by 5pm and decide you don't want to? Too bad. Maybe you can lock yourself out of the house so..... nope. Deciding to lock yourself out of the house is deciding not to take out the garbage. You can't fool yourself. What if you just went out to your sister's house and ran out of gas .... nope. That's also evading the contract. What if you didn't have any garbage bags? Well now you might be compelled to check.
The more you think about finding a way around your obligations, the more you restrict yourself from actually doing things that might accidentally result in a contract violation.
So many people on the discord (myself included)(join the discord it's so cool!) want Alden to find a loophole to tell Stu about his skill, but it's better that he doesn't even try. Otherwise Alden would tie his brain in knots and end up with nothing but more self-imposed rules.
Fellas, is it gay to admire you best friend so much that you make him your moral compass?
#platonic ideal friendship #super supportive #ace relationship goals
Do you think Murderbot would like The Martian by Andy Weir
Yes
No
Some mysterious third option
Please don't spoil The Martian for me I only just started chapter 4. The MBD are fine though I've read all of them and the side works like three times
One thing that really bothers me in the Murderbot TV show is the casual mention that Preservation runs on Debt and how some people on Preservation want to join the corporate rim.
And I read this very much as the writers of the show don't respect the idea of Preservation and worship at the altar of capitalism in that very republican way of "private companies do it better than government cause they compete and make it cheaper and if they do it right they get a reward" which I don't think I need to debunk on this website if all places.
BUT. The idea of how does Preservation sustain itself?
It's got a planet.
A whole ass planet.
With probably moons.
And space stations.
In their own solar system, which they can access.
With purpose built bots to do many tasks.
AND they've got business going on elsewhere, like the goings on in All Systems Red. They have assets they can sell, like the ones they were looking to do in Exit Strategy.
That's more than Earth has got and Earth could do this for us now.
Of course Preservation can be self sustainable. It's only a problem when they want to interact with the corporate rim, which they don't want to do anyway, and then they have people like Pin-Lee ready to rip them open and bleed them dry. And with the way people in the corporate rim think and treat none corporate political entities it doesn't surprise me at all that they think they can just get away with shit when they arrive at Preservations stations and then get surprised when they get slapped with a huge fine, and that alone covers so many costs, especially if they're fines are done properly.
"Average of 3 Major Crimes committed on Preservation Station per year" factoid actualy just statistical error. Average is zero Major Crimes per year. The Year of Corporate Fuckery, in which 57 Major Crimes were committed, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.
simulacra for bootlickers
FYI, this post is a little more NSFW than usual with the language.
Usually I think McMansions are kind of funny. Sometimes, I even like them. If I didn't like them at least a little bit, I don't think I'd be running this blog for a solid eight years and counting. Some McMansions are so strange and so fascinating in their architectural languages (it's never just one language) that they test the boundaries of what residential architecture can do on an individual and often ad hoc level. Others so cogently and often whimsically express various cultural fascinations and deeply entrenched American ideas of what prosperity looks like (read: neuroticisms), that, as a sociological text they remain unrivaled.
But some (many!) McMansions are, to put it bluntly, evil. And it is these McMansions that reveal the ugly truth beneath the ugly architecture: that the McMansion is a manifestation of power and wealth meant to communicate that power and wealth to others as explicitly as possible, and that it does so in a country besieged by brutal and inescapable income inequality. In our present political moment characterized by extreme and deliberate cruelty, fear, and baleful destruction of all that is pro-social in nature (and nature itself), I figured it was my duty to show my readers a house that embodies these sentiments, one we can all use to assuage some of our perceived powerlessness by way of mocking the shit out of it.
There are a lot of fake White Houses in the US. Most of them can be found in or around the area of McLean, Virginia, the ground zero of DC blob sickos whose job it is to mete out the ratio of lethality and economy for weapons manufacturers. This one, however, is in Indiana, outside of Evansville. It was built at the apex of theme park mindset in architecture (1997) and is on the market for $4.9 million dollars. However, don't be fooled by this opening exterior shot. It takes literal drone footage to show how unhinged this house actually is. In reality, the White House facade is akin to the light dangling from an anglerfish, luring the unsuspecting victim in...
Completely NORMAL amount of money at play here!
There are some images historians (if there are any left) will look back upon and say, such a phenomenon truly would not be possible without an abundance of cheap oil and derivative products. Fortunately, in the immanent post-neoliberal chobani yogurt solarpunk utopia, this house will be converted into a half ruin garden (though this will take some time with all the plastic) half public spa complex. A better world is possible, but only if we imagine it.
Pro tip: there's a way of saying "wow it's so big" that can land as the most devastating insult in the rhetorical lexicon.
I'll be real, the armchair thing is a new one for me, too.
(Rise and grindset voice): Inside you are two lions. Both of them are hungry for prosperity and success. Let's get this bread, king.
Not to do gender here, but compared to the rest of the house, this is a "my wife got her way" room if there ever was one.
Fixer Upper was basically 9/11 for "architectural foam trappings" and "color." Look what they took from you...
Honestly, what a great juxtaposition. This is what that book The Machine in the Garden was all about. (No it's not.)
Half of this post tbh:
Well, that's it for this extremely upbeat and positive McMansion Hell post in this extremely positive and upbeat time we are living in. Join us soon for the concluding part 2 of the Neuschwanstein Castle series, especially if you like beautiful, psychosexually crippled swan boys (real and fictional) and kitsch theory.
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams. (Don't worry! This doesn't adjust for inflation! Now's the perfect time to join!)
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar! McMansion Hell stocks, much like mortgage-backed securities only ever go up!!
heyy, when cookie clicker first started popping off, how did u and ur close circle react? also i love ur shit
my dad was proud and my mom started obsessively playing it and would run back to the computer room every few minutes screaming "mes goldeun cookies!!". my ex-businessman grandpa got really interested in our studio's fledgling business model and would constantly ask about our players' different nationalities. my friends would go Omg Julien you're going viral with the cookie game congrats that's so neat! my ex reconnected and told me it was nice to know at least one of us was doing good. my boss from my previous pixel-art internship (asking me if i wanted a full job next time) said "huh you're starting a company in this climate? pretty bold but good luck with that i guess..."
history myth busted: "Victorian photos had minutes-long exposure times!" nope! by as early as the 1840s, it was down to 20 seconds!
history concept sustained: 20 seconds is still a pretty long time to sit completely motionless, not even moving your eyes from a fixed point. it is easy to see how motion blurs continued to be an issue throughout the 19th century, and posing stands were in common use (I just tried it with a timer on my phone)
4. cup
A... wip? Finished piece??? I have no idea
Markus looks pretty neat though and that makes me happy
You know, I wonder if any of the events with Dracubat showing up to drink Lucy would have been deterred by having a dog on hand. Not even a big dog, necessarily--just a dog with a good bark. Various hounds have already proven how they all have a joint Dracula sensor and mutually H A T E this ba(t)stard.
If Lucy had a pup on hand, I'm 99.99% sure their barking and hackle-raising would
1) Snap her out of her trance before she can get drinked
2) Alert her and others to the recurring presence of the bat
3) Add 'Thwarted by pissed off lil puppy-buppy' to Dracula's resume, which I think he deserves
Alternatively, just get her a very astute cat. In which case:
mojo dojo casa house
Howdy folks! Sorry for the delay, I was, uhhhh covering the Tour de France. Anyway, I'm back in Chicago which means this blog has returned to the Chicago suburbs. I'm sure you've all seen Barbie at this point so this 2019 not-so-dream house will come as a pleasant (?) surprise.
Yeah. So this $2.4 million, 7 bed, 8.5+ bath house is over 15,000 square feet and let me be frank: that square footage is not allocated in any kind of efficient or rational manner. It's just kind of there, like a suburban Ramada Inn banquet hall. You think that by reading this you are prepared for this, but no, you are not.
Scale (especially the human one) is unfathomable to the people who built this house. They must have some kind of rare spatial reasoning problem where they perceive themselves to be the size of at least a sedan, maybe a small aircraft. Also as you can see they only know of the existence of a single color.
Ok, but if you were eating a single bowl of cereal alone where would you sit? Personally I am a head of the table type person but I understand that others might be more discreet.
It is undeniable that they put the "great" in great room. You could race bicycles in here. Do roller derby. If you gave this space to three anarchists you would have a functioning bookshop and small press in about a week.
The island bit is so funny. It's literally so far away it's hard to get them in the same image. It is the most functionally useless space ever. You need to walk half a mile to get from the island to the sink or stove.
Of course, every McMansion has a room just for television (if not more than one room) and yet this house fails even to execute that in a way that matters. Honestly impressive.
The rug placement here is physical comedy. Like, they know they messed up.
Bling had a weird second incarnation in the 2010s HomeGoods scene. Few talk about this.
Honestly I think they should have scrapped all of this and built a bowling alley or maybe a hockey rink. Basketball court. A space this grand is wasted on sports of the table variety.
You would also think that seeing the rear exterior of this house would help to rationalize how it's planned but:
Not really.
Anyways, thanks for coming along for another edition of McMansion Hell. I'll be back to regular posting schedule now that the summer is over so keep your eyes peeled for more of the greatest houses to ever exist. Be sure to check the Patreon for today's bonus posts.
Also P.S. - I'm the architecture critic for The Nation now, so check that out, too!
If you like this post and want more like it, support McMansion Hell on Patreon for as little as $1/month for access to great bonus content including a discord server, extra posts, and livestreams.
Not into recurring payments? Try the tip jar, because media work is especially recession-vulnerable.
The most ornate baroque sofa and wall sconces just sprinkled around the beige
So my sister wants to start sewing more, because
a. She’s 5′ 11″ and can never find pants long enough for her legs or shirts long enough for her arms.
b. She hates synthetic fibers as much as I do and it’s difficult to find natural fiber clothes that aren’t made of cotton
c. She’s a biologist and would physically fistfight microplastics if given half a chance
So her gift from mom and dad for her birthday was a sewing machine. Not a super expensive one but a good solid serviceable one.
And recently she asked “So where do I GET wool or linen and thread that isn’t polyester” and mom was like ‘go ask your sister’
And I, of course, crashed into the group text like “GET A PEN I HAVE WEBSITES FOR U” and honestly I’m thrilled about this
“Where did u get all this”
“Bets, u know I’m a 15th degree blackbelt of buying shit on the internet”
“oh yeah tru”
Op can may we inquire about the website list
Linen; https://www.graylinelinen.com/
cotton and Silk thread; https://redrockthreads.com/
Linen thread and wool fabric; https://burnleyandtrowbridge.com/ (they’ve got wool stuffs and worsted wool fabric for $15 a yard! I just got three yards of navy worsted wool I’m making a constellation winter skirt from)
More linen thread and wool; https://wmboothdraper.com/ (just ordered wool broadcloth to make a coat)
Silk fabric (THE best place to get silk lining fabrics and raw silk fabric):https://www.dharmatrading.com/
A varying assortment of wool and silk and cotton and even some leather, use coupon code spring2020 for 50% off your full order, worked yesterday when I bought some stuff there; https://metrotextilesnyc.com/
Wool. You want wool coating for under $20 a yard? Sure you do. It’s here. Not a huge variety of colors, most are black or brown, but hey https://www.fashionfabricsclub.com/Catalog?refinementIds=4096748&Keyword=wool&pageSize=16
Btw if any of you are interested, this is my Spotify playlist of a bunch of the songs we sing around the campfire (or in the tavern) at SCA events! It obviously doesn’t include most of the SCA specific ones, but it’s pretty decent regardless.
Where did you come from
Tumblr is my home....I never left
I left tumblr during the porn ban and now im back for no reason
Reddit Refugee
Twitter Refugee
Facebook Refugee
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RB for the largest sample size this site has ever seen
