eve, psyche & the dragon's wife.

you can call me sini. writer and daydreamer. i have intense zhongli brainrot & i make that everyone's problem.

[dragon-ascent]

༺｡° .ᘛ𓆩𝖜𝖊𝖑𝖈𝖔𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖔 𝖉𝖗𝖆𝖌𝖔𝖓-𝖆𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖙𓆪ᘚ. ° ｡༻

sini ⟡ she/her ⟡ 25 ⟡ taurus

❝care for some tea? there's stories for the soul, too, if you'd like.❞

╔═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╗

✩ m e n u ✩

ᵖᵉᵃᶜʰ ᵗᵉᵃ & ˢᵗʳᵃʷᵇᵉʳʳʸ ᶜᵒᵒᵏⁱᵉˢ ⁻ ᶠˡᵘᶠᶠ

ˡᵃᵛᵉⁿᵈᵉʳ ᵗᵉᵃ & ʷʰⁱᵗᵉ ᵐᵃʳᵇˡᵉ ᶜᵃᵏᵉ ⁻ ᶜᵒᵐᶠᵒʳᵗ

ˡⁱˡʸ ᵗᵉᵃ & ᵇᵘᵗᵗᵉʳ ᵇⁱˢᶜᵘⁱᵗˢ ⁻ ᵃⁿᵍˢᵗ

ʳᵒˢᵉ ᵗᵉᵃ & ᵉᶜˡᵃⁱʳ ⁻ ˢᵐᵘᵗ

ᵒˢᵐᵃⁿᵗʰᵘˢ ᵗᵉᵃ & ᶜʰᵒᶜᵒˡᵃᵗᵉ ᵍᵃᵗᵉᵃᵘ ⁻ ˡᵒⁿᵍᶠⁱᶜ

ʲᵃˢᵐⁱⁿᵉ ᵗᵉᵃ & ᵇᵘᵗᵗᵉʳˢᶜᵒᵗᶜʰ ᵐᵒᵘˢˢᵉ ⁻ ᵐⁱˢᶜ.

ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ'ˢ ˢᵖᵉᶜⁱᵃˡ: ʲᵃˢᵐⁱⁿᵉ ᵈʳᵃᵍᵒⁿ ᵖᵉᵃʳˡ ᵗᵉᵃ & ᵃᵐᵇᵉʳ ᵗᵉᵃʳ ⁻ ᵈʳᵃᵍᵒⁿ ᶻʰᵒⁿᵍˡⁱ ᶜᵒˡˡᵉᶜᵗⁱᵒⁿ

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·.*═╝

the dragon ascends,

stars fall,

light dims.

❝drink up before the tea gets cold.❞

my ko-fi! 🧡

[dragon-ascent]

It’s hard to get dragon-form Zhongli to comply with your silly roleplays.

“Zhongli!” you call up eagerly to your husband who’s basking in all his draconic glory, long body sprawled out languidly in your ample yard. “Wanna play with me?”

The dragon fixes his churning golden irises on you curiously. “Oh? If my beloved so wishes.” His tail swishes about. “What are we to play?”

You grin, rubbing your palms together. “So pretend I’m a delicious piggy you’re trying to eat, but I’m always cooped up in the house! So you threaten to huff, and puff, and blow the house down in order to get to me!” Without waiting for his response, you dash into your shared home, immediately popping into a window to watch him expectantly.

Zhongli merely cocks his head, mane rustling in the process. “Mere wind would not fell this house.”

“I know, but it’s for the game!” you say, voice slightly muffled through the glass. “Be scary! Threaten me with your monstrous breath!”

But the dragon is having none of it. “If intimidation were the play here, I would simply crush the building in my claws without offering warning.” He flexes his talons, sharp and shiny curved death blades.

Seized by alarm that he may actually do it (he never would, come on), you rush back outside. “Okay, okay! I changed my mind!” You wave your arms frantically. “How about this instead?” You point to one of the tallest trees in the yard. “Pretend there’s a princess up there, and you’re the evil dragon holding her prisoner. And I’m the knight sent to fight you!”

“But I do not wish to fight you,” Zhongli rumbles, drooping. It’s almost comical, truly.

Hands on your hips, you glower at him. “So you can pretend to crush a building, but you draw the line at pretending to fight me?”

“Yes.” Zhongli lowers his head to nuzzle you gently, warm breaths fanning over you.

You let out a long sigh, stroking his snout in defeat. “Alright, fine. Something non-violent, then. How about a…game of chase? We can take turns catching each other. I’ll chase you first!”

At this, Zhongli purrs in approval…and immediately takes to the skies, weaving into the clouds with no effort at all.

Down below, you gape up at him like the earthly peasant you are, your hair and clothes frazzled from the wind pressure created by his abrupt launch.

Overhead, he circles you, and though you can hardly see his expression from this distance, you’re certain he’s wearing a look of pure mockery. “Are you not going to come after me, my love?”

[dragon-ascent]

Zhongli normally isn’t one for PDA. But when people question his relationship with you, he can certainly adapt.

The day is pleasant and there are few responsibilities that require tending to, so it’s perfect for some leisure. Zhongli suggests taking you out to a lovely new sweets shop that’s opened up near your home, and thus the afternoon quietly saunters by at a cozy outdoor table while savoring some lovely almond jelly and dragon’s beard candy.

It should be uneventful, but Zhongli’s keen hearing picks up on something rather interesting from the table behind him. A perfunctory glance reveals two young people, perhaps tired adventurers guessing by their sun-kissed skin and frazzled appearances, here to recuperate.

“That Mr. Zhongli sure is handsome,” sighs one of them, all moony. “Even the way he eats is so dignified. The kind of man you’d proudly bring home to your parents.”

“Oh, I agree. I haven’t been in this city long, but I can say for sure everyone loves him. He’s super friendly, too!”

“That person sitting across from him—that a friend or a lover? You can be honest and it won’t hurt my feelings, I promise.”

“Oh, I don’t think you have to worry about them. It’d be a miracle for a man like Zhongli to be single, but it doesn’t look like they’re an item,” the other one comments. “They don’t seem to be doing stereotypical couple-y things, after all. I don’t see them, like, handsy with each other. Get what I mean? Seems like the kinda congeniality you’d show a coworker you’re being nice to for brownie points.”

“So you’re saying there’s a chance?” the former whispers excitedly. “D’you think I can ask Mr. Zhongli out when I catch him alone?”

Zhongli’s eyebrows rise ever so slightly. Why, he had never reason to believe anyone would view his relationship with you as platonic. But if they are basing it on a lack of customary outward gestures, then…

He gets up without a word and crosses to the other side of the table, seating himself directly beside you.

“Oh?” You stop mid-scoop of your jelly and gaze at him. “What’s up, Li?”

You think he’s about to tell you something serious, but his face only breaks into a smile. “Allow me,” he says warmly, taking the spoon from you. With practiced care, he digs into the supple jelly and holds the spoon out to your mouth.

You eat without question, but as you do, Zhongli pats your head and supplements it with a kiss to your forehead, his smile unwavering. “My darling.”

“H-huh?” Shyness creeps up your veins and you turn your face away, but Zhongli gently hooks a finger under your chin.

“Ah ah,” he chides softly, “let me see your cute face.”

Also, is it just you, or is he speaking a little louder than usual?

He feeds you several spoonfuls more of the stuff, all while you’re steeped in confusion and fluster. He pats your head after each bite, beaming all the while, and after a few minutes of—well, whatever has come over him, you ask, “Aren’t you going to have the jelly yourself? It’s almost gone…”

“Ah, but you see,” Zhongli says silkily, running his gloved thumb over your lower lip, “it shall taste sweetest from your mouth.”

He kisses you before you can say anything, a firm and divine little kiss that’s over in a second, but you could have sworn you heard the clatter of silverware somewhere nearby. No matter, you’re too dazed to think of anything else.

You blink dumbly at him, the god as composed as ever. “O-oh my…” At this, he merely chuckles and pinches your cheek.

After you two are finished eating, he stands up and holds his hand out to you. “Well then, my dearest gem, shall we stroll about the gardens for a bit? I do wish to show you the new blooms that have graced the green—though none shall compare to your own beauty, I believe.”

You’re still stunned, but you comply. As you two leave, you pass by a table where a poor adventurer seems to be sobbing into their plate of red bean buns.

[dragon-ascent]

You take home what you assume is a Rex Lapis plushie. It’s not.

It’s the Liyue of old, and Rex Lapis still holds explicit reign over the nation. Merchandise in his image have recently been popularised—little things like keyrings, incense holders and the like.

You’re perusing the goods of one such peddler, bored eyes scanning the wares for anything new and exciting. You already have enough stickers, charms, standees and the like; it’s about time for something fresh and fun.

And then you spot it.

Soft-looking and adorable, it’s a stuffed toy fashioned in the image of the Geo Archon’s dragon form, aptly downsized and compressed into a cute marketable version.

Grinning, you pick it up. Aw, even the soft fur seems so real… “This one. I wish to buy this one.”

The vendor takes one look at it and scratches his head. “That one? I don’t remember taking inventory of—oh, never mind. That will be ten thousand mora.”

It’s a hefty sum, but it’s worth it. Shelling out the money with glee, you take the plushie and march on home, giving it a little squeeze. It even makes a faint squeaky sound when you do; how fun! And it’s so warm, too!

You set it on a chair at your table and make a show of bowing to it. And then you gather your other merch and spread it out on the table and prattle on about the kind of tea parties you’ll host with your awesome new plushie.

It’s almost like the plushie blinks in response.

“And since the Geo Lord is oh-so prim and proper, I can finally imagine what it would be like for him to put on a tutu and a tiara…because that’s what I’m about to do to you, little plushie!”

It’s like watching a mountain stir.

A brilliant light emanates from the chair, molten beams of sun that are gone as quickly as they had come. In a cloud of golden mist lies no longer the cute plushie you bought, but a grown man in rich brown robes, flowing hair a similar hue, and golden horns atop his head to match his equally aureate eyes.

Rex fucking Lapis himself sits at your table, embarrassment coloring his regal features. “I would prefer not to be dressed up, my dear.”

If he said something just now, you didn’t hear. Your eyes are wide, your heart is hammering in your throat, and if it were not for the way your mouth is opening and closing, one would think you’d turned to stone.

And then you slowly inch backwards. “What is…what the…I…”

Rex Lapis gets up from the chair, grimacing as it screeches against the floor gratingly, and while he rights it, he extends an arm to you. “Please do not panic. I had not foreseen this outcome, but I mean you no harm-”

“Oh…oh gods…” You stagger back, ashen, until you hit the wall, the beginnings of a meltdown imminent. Your arms are waving frantically, words unable to form themselves on your tongue besides dumbstruck hedging-

The god, for his part, holds out his hands in an attempt to becalm. “I had not intended for it to get this far, but I urge you to remain-” But the dam bursts, and it’s too late now. You wail:

“That seller just extorted ten thousand mora from me!”

[dragon-ascent]

You convince Zhongli to turn into his tiny dragon form for a surprise outing—only to take him to a convention and parade him around as a cosplaying pet.

Chonkli is not happy, to say the least.

“Awww! He looks just like Rex Lapis!” he hears for the umpteenth time as a gaggle of people gather around him and coo at his every move (even his half-hearted attempts at batting them away, which only comes off as cutely pawing the air).

“I know, right? My puppy’s costume is sooo awesome!” You stand there proudly, hands on your hips and a smug grin on your face. It’s obviously not a costume, just Chonkli in his natural glory, but it works so beautifully.

The little creature pads begrudgingly beside you along the crowded alleys and takes every bit of praise and coddling these people have for him (because what other choice does he have? This is to make you happy after all). It’s still frustrating, though, to be stuck like this and pretending he’s just a puppy in cosplay who knows little beyond chasing his own tail.

But it’s after someone graciously offers a little maid dress to elevate the Rex Lapis look that Chonkli has finally decided he’s had enough—and so he bounds away, squeaking, leaving you to chase after him.

“Wait up!” you call out, giggling, and spot the little critter turning the corner into one of the restrooms. You follow him in and immediately frown, whipping around for a glimpse of him in this empty space.

Thud.

Zhongli, in human form again, slams his hands on either side of your head, effectively caging you in. The gleam in his eyes is incandescent; Zhongli doesn’t exactly get angry, but this is as close as it’ll get.

“Have you amused yourself enough, or are you still not sated?”

You pout. “Come on, I thought you’d like the undercover attention. Someone even offered you treats!”

“They were dog treats.”

“Well, what about that cute maid outfit you could’ve had if you’d just-”

“Enough,” he says firmly, leaning even closer. “Or do you wish for me to dress you in frilly garb and parade you around?”

You blush and stare at your feet, feeling Zhongli’s warm breath on your face. “Well, um—I wouldn’t be as cute as you, I think…”

“I believe otherwise. Were I to dress you as such, you would be quite the spectacle.” He pauses for a moment. “Now that I think of it, I ought to do so…privately.” A smile tugs at one corner of his mouth.

“What’s that supposed to mean…?” He ambles out of the restroom serenely with his hands clasped behind his back, leaving you to trail after him haplessly. “Hey, Zhongli, what’s that supposed to mean?!”

[dragon-ascent]

Shortly after you and Zhongli get together, you make sure to carry yourself with the utmost decorum and elegance you can muster, which confuses Zhongli.

It’s vastly different from the silly and carefree version of you Zhongli had known prior to getting into a relationship with you. While it’s rather comical, the way you sit stock-straight in your seat to avoid slouching or pull your blanket farther up your face so he can’t see when you drool, he is still perplexed by the switch-up.

One time, after you leave the room and come back a moment later (and Zhongli knows why, after all the sweet potato you had for lunch), he’s finally decided to ask you about it. “Darling, why have you been acting so strange as of late? You are not being yourself.”

“Oh,” you stutter, avoiding eye contact as you fidget, “I just want to be perfect in your eyes so you won’t ever hold anything against me.”

At this, Zhongli frowns. “What would I, and why ever would I hold it against you?”

To this you tell him sadly, “You have a photographic memory. If I did something embarrassing you’d remember it for the rest of your life! The heat death of the universe could approach and you would remember how, eons ago, your darling farted really loud it sounded like a struggling tuba player.”

Zhongli laughs. He would never hold any of your embarrassing moments against you, but this conversation—and your wet cat expression—he’ll certainly carry with him to that prophesied heat death.

[dragon-ascent]

One night, Rex Lapis returns to your shared chambers after an evening of revelry with his fellow Archons—tipsy.

The god opens the doors to your bedroom with a grander flourish than his usual gentle-natured disposition, beaming.

“My lord, you’re back!” You hop out of bed and bound over to him eagerly. “How was the- oof!”

Rex Lapis engulfs you in an intense bear hug, the smile never leaving his face. “Ah, my dearest sweet,” he hums, “how long has it been since I have embraced you like this? Decades have passed since our last meeting.” His horns and tail have manifested, the latter wagging intensely like an overgrown puppy’s.

You squirm in his tight grip, finally catching a whiff of the wine on him. That Barbatos… “No, it’s only been a few hours. If decades had passed I’d be old and wrinkly!”

“And I would still savour the taste of you every night,” the Geo Lord coos, relentless in his cuddling. His tail does not stop.

Your face turns hot. “A-anyway! Please let me go and I can help you with your…current state!”

“There is nothing that can sate my affection for you,” your divine lover declares, although his grip does thankfully loosen, “except by engaging in fierce, passionate lovemaking until tomorrow’s morrow’s dawn breaks.”

The day after tomorrow?! “My lord, you’re drunk!” you cry out. “None of that until you’re sober again!” Wriggling free from his grasp (and dodging his sloppy grabby hands), you usher him to the edge of the bed and sit him down, which he does so with surprisingly little resistance.

Rex Lapis lets out a huff. “Very well.” He crosses his arms and closes his eyes and waits silently.

You frown. “What are you doing?”

“Waiting until I am sober.”

“My lord…” You stifle a giggle. “Wait here while I get you something to eat, okay? And…perhaps a bucket in case you retch.”

“Are you saying I appear a wretch, my dear?”

“Retch!” you repeat. “As in, throw up.”

But the god droops and looks down at his palms. “Wretch…” he repeats morosely, tail thumping sadly against the bed.

You shake your head in exasperation and make to leave, but he grabs your arm. “Oh, what now, my lord?”

He fixes you with a gaze so intense, the gold of his irises gleam in the comfortable dimness of the room. It’s smouldering, the strict curve of his lip almost intimidating… “I demand a kiss before you go. I cannot remember the last time you gave me a kiss.”

“Oh, please. You have impeccable memory which should tell you I kissed you just before you left for the Archon gathering.” You roll your eyes but peck him on the cheek anyway, then worm out of his hold before he can demand another one.

“Fine, at least hear me out.” His gaze turns even more intense than before, an incandescent mountain.

You turn to face him again. “Yes, my lord…?”

He eyes you from head to toe. “I love you.”

“Awww! I love you, too!”

Giggling, you slip out of the chamber to bring back the necessary remedy, leaving a thoroughly disgruntled god sitting on the edge of the bed with his tail thumping petulantly.

The next day, Deus Auri vehemently denies any memory of the night prior.

[dragon-ascent]

Hand-holding with Zhongli.

In the eyes of most, such a simple gesture would be mundane, insignificant, minuscule even, in the grand scheme of things.

But when your hand slides into his welcoming palm, all you can think about is how this is the hand of a being who has forged countless divine weapons of fine jade, piercing his targets without room for error and claiming the land as his own. Not just weapons, but gold too—Mora, the very currency that makes Teyvat go round. It feels as though even a snap of his long fingers might send the world crumbling to dust.

This is the hand of one who has built his nation from the ground-up, introducing the traditional sloped roofs and sturdy stone exteriors. Under his guidance, Liyue had been turned from a barren land of mountains and valleys to a thriving trade nation raised from the roiling sea. If given enough time, these hands could shape the entire universe, having him mould it to the way he desires.

This is the hand of one who has slain countless gods and monsters alike, showing no partiality as long as the war raged on. This is a hand stained in blood, but all that violence has done little to whittle away at his gentleness. His touch ought to be crushing—yet here he is, beckoning for you to join his outstretched hand.

How can such an exalted presence such as Zhongli even care to throw a glance in your direction, much less hold you like this?

But your insecurities are dispelled with the way he gazes at you, honey-dipped affection and serene smile abound. He tilts his head at you the longer you stare at him, and he merely asks, “Is something the matter, my love?”

He squeezes your hand gently, his thumb running circles over your skin. Yes, all these lofty feats—and he still chooses to hold your hand like it’s the one thing that matters most to him in this moment. The one thing he treasures as much as his own history.

You smile and shake your head, squeezing his hand back. Rough, calloused, but so so warm. “It’s nothing.”

[dragon-ascent]

Zhongli is just so…warm, like your own personal sun.

You find yourself curling into him every chance you get. When enjoying tea together, you sidle up to him even if the mug you’re cupping in your hands is just as warm. When he’s talking about something that’s sparked his fancy, you’re holding his hand like a lifeline because of the warmth it gives you. Even in bed, you cling to him like a koala—and it sure makes it hard to get out of bed when you’re just so snug with him.

“Darling,” he might say, looking down at your form curled against his bare chest, a tender hand caressing your back, “time to wake up.”

You would simply mumble incoherently and tighten your grip, and Zhongli would have no choice but to let the better part of the morning slip away like this.

Is that his natural disposition, or is it simply his sheer gentleness that makes him so cozy a companion?

You ask him this one day, because you can ask him literally anything, and he simply laughs that light, airy chuckle of his as he regards you with nothing but affection.

“Perhaps it is something I radiate solely for you, my love,” he tells you, booping your nose, and that’s that.

Really, his warm aura is so magnetic it even comes through in less-than-ideal times…

You’re giving him the cold shoulder after a disagreement, your arms crossed and your gaze fixed straight ahead on some intangible point as you sit on the couch, ruminating in your vexation. You don’t even acknowledge him as he sits beside you; don’t even try to meet his apologetic gaze that doesn’t leave your face.

That familiar warmth seeps into you, even with the distance between you two. So gentle, so golden, so—compelling. And it is a chilly day…

“Ugh!” you exclaim, gnashing your teeth, and begrudgingly scoot up against your husband and rest your head on his shoulder, his hand instinctively coming up to pat your head soothingly.

Zhongli smiles. “Have you forgiven me then, my love?”

“No.” You press yourself up against him more firmly. Warm, warm, warm.

“Ah, I see.” He makes to pull away, but you grab onto him and keep him right where he is.

You wrinkle your nose. “I’m mad at you, but I’m still going to stick to you. Like glue. I’m making me your problem right now.”

Zhongli pulls you closer, planting a kiss on your head. “There is nothing I treasure more, dearest.”

[dragon-ascent]

When work calls Zhongli thousands of miles away from home, correspondence is what keeps you going for this period of long-distance romance.

You two send letters back and forth as many times as inhumanly possible, counting the days down until you can see each other again. Of course, Zhongli’s patience means he’s taking this a lot better than you are (not to say he misses you any less), but let’s just say you’re withering away with every day you spend at home by yourself. ‘I truly wish I could see you soon,’ you’d written in your latest letter to him. ‘What I wouldn’t give to have you back here with me.’

Zhongli reads your letter with tenderness swimming in his heart—and a plan. There is no purpose in the action he’s planning when all impurities have been cast away, but…some rules can have their exceptions. Just this once. Just for you.

You’re preparing dinner in the kitchen, a nice soup for yourself, bustling about while you hum a little tune your husband used to sing to you. Carefully you stir the pot, pleased as the steam curls and brings with it the desired aromas. All you need to do now is—

“Would you like me to check the salt in it, dearest?”

You scream; your soul nearly leaps out of your body when you see Zhongli leaning against the doorway, an earnest look in his eye and an expression that reads like he never left to begin with, and you’re panicking even more.

The golden-eyed man immediately rushes to you so that you don’t burn yourself, trying to calm you down with a firm embrace and an explanation pouring from his lips.

He hadn’t anticipated startling you this much. But as you yammer to him about how being a god doesn’t excuse him from giving you a damn heart attack, he realises there could have been a better way to officially demonstrate that he can split into multiple selves.

(I’m back, hello!)

[dragon-ascent]

Imagine Zhongli being your Valentine, but you don’t know his true identity yet.

“Hello, Zhongli,” you say brightly when you see him, but a dark shadow skitters across your face (though it may just be Zhongli’s imagination). “Happy Valentine’s Day! I brought you a box of chocolates for the occasion! Though, I’m afraid I must address a serious transgression you’ve committed against me first. You’ve kept this from me for so long.”

With a slight frown marring his face, Zhongli regards you carefully. “I see. And what might that be, my dear?”

Just like that, the shadow passes and you’re grinning. “You stole my heart! I must report you to the Millelith immediately!”

As you laugh, Zhongli inwardly sighs in relief and graciously accepts your gift to him.

Sight-seeing in the mountains may be an unconventional way to spend the day, but it’s a magical feeling nonetheless. As Zhongli explains the history of the mountain ranges to you from where you stand upon a giant pillar in the stone forest, you look around in awe at the massive, sprawling peaks limned by light and cor lapis alike.

”Such beauty,” you breathe, “the air is crisp and almost reverent in its silence, too. So mystical, like a god is standing right here with me.”

You look at the golden-eyed man pointedly, but he simply holds your gaze as evenly as possible. “Indeed,” he answers with a smile that betrays nothing.

After a few moments of this strange deadlock high up among the clouds, you break your gaze and turn back to admiring the world below. “Alas, Rex Lapis isn’t actually here to fawn over this with us anymore.”

Zhongli had ensured the two of you could enjoy a nice, private dinner in the finest booth at Liuli Pavilion, a romantic candlelit spread complete with all the dishes you enjoy most. What a gentleman!

”The food is spectacular,” you sigh dreamily. The gentle ambience casts a soft glow upon the two of you, flickering flames and the aroma of osmanthus providing a sweet embrace. Leaning forward and dropping your voice to a whisper, you add, “Since we’re alone, I think it would be wise to address the elephant in the room, don’t you think? The elephant in your side of the room, in particular.”

“Ah.” Zhongli takes a sip of his tea, his heartbeat picking up a bit. He hadn’t expected you to want to bring this up after the first two fake-outs, but he supposes now is as good a time to come clean as any. “Do tell me. What would you like to talk about?”

You blink, then burst into a fit of giggles. Pointing off to his side, you say, “Why, the elephant in the room, of course.”

Zhongli looks to where you’re pointing and finds, to his surprise, an elephant statuette. A lovely handiwork from the finest artisan of Sumeru. As you laugh to yourself, the poor man joins in as well, his secret safe for another day.

At the end of the night, you are happy and more than satisfied at how the day had progressed. Though, honestly, one would think—with all the hints you’d been dropping—it’s about time Zhongli fessed up to his identity. You’ve always had the suspicion he was far beyond humanity, but to keep up the charade for this long…goodness.

You bite into the floral chocolate he’s gifted you. Delicious.

Ah well, perhaps someday soon he’ll tell you the truth. (Late v-day special! And lantern rite shenanigans to come soon as well mwah mwah)

[dragon-ascent]

Please know that if you ever stop writing for Zhongli I will eat my own arm. No one writes for him the way you do, and the way you do is just so beautiful and perfectly in character I don’t know what to do with myself when I read a new work by you. In fact I’d go so far as to say no character in any fandom I’ve been in has a writer that makes such gorgeous works for them as the ones you do. I wouldn’t know how to function if I ever lost your works. Anyways please don’t make me eat my arm ❤️

Omg pls don’t eat your arm!! I’ll still be here writing for Zhongli in 2047!!

And my gosh this is such high praise I’m gonna cry?? 🥹💞 I’m endlessly grateful you like the way I write Zhongliiii!!! You don’t have to eat your arm ever ever ever!!

[dragon-ascent]

You mentioned a lore drop? I am not caught up with such things. What is the latest?

Here you go! It’s from the coming Lantern Rite patch! In basic terms, Zhongli can split himself into three identical clones.

Zhongli gets more and more mysterious with every year and aaaaa- heavenly star Zhongli truthers are so back 🥹

[dragon-ascent]

Zhongli tells you how he’s able to split himself into multiple forms at once, typically tuning his body duplication to three at a time—he hadn’t wished to keep this from you for so long, and it had only come up when you’d pestered him to finally talk about his past, no matter how minuscule a tidbit he’d be willing to give you. So he explains it to you.

He’s also launched into a tale of how he used to train against multiple copies of himself in the days of yore, but on seeing the cheeky look on your face that suggests you have something else on your mind, he trails off and asks you.

You grin. “Do you know what I happen to have three of, Zhongli?”

Zhongli cocks his head, regarding you curiously. “Is this about your three Rex Lapis figurines, darling?”

“Oh, no. Three things on my body to complement your three simultaneous forms.” You lean towards him, grin widening.

He frowns. “Three…embryonic layers, then.”

“Nope. I don’t even know what that is. But I’ll let you keep guessing until you get it right.”

You wink, and Zhongli has to sit there wondering what you could have three of that has you so flushed like this.

(y’all best believe i am milking the crap out of the latest lore drop we got. expect 193637 ficlets on this topic stat)

[dragon-ascent]

Intimidating Zhongli is no easy task.

A marriage devoid of whimsy is no marriage at all, and you are the biggest believer of this. Therefore, you do everything in your power to keep your beloved Zhongli amused.

“Zhongliiiii…” you rasp, inching your way to him in a terrifying limber, “I’m going to wear your skinnnn…”

Zhongli eyes you over the rim of his cup of tea. “How frightening, darling,” he says in a tone that suggests not a drop of fear at all. “Why do you wish to do that?”

Coming to a halt before him, you bare your teeth. “Becauseee…it’s very pretty…so soft and smooth…perfect for a ghoul like me to savour…”

Setting down his cup and folding his hands on his lap, Zhongli suggests calmly, “If it is the quality of my skin you covet, I would be more than happy to lend my knowledge of ancient skincare techniques—though, if you would like my honest opinion, you are radiant even without employing the skincare routine I follow.”

He makes to pinch your cheek in affection, but you hiss and recoil, dropping to the floor in a crawl. “No! No! It is your skin I want! I will wear only your skin!” You crawl in circles around his chair in a manner most hair-raising, but Zhongli, as always, is immune to your bait.

“Are you a caterpillar, darling?”

You growl, baring your teeth once more.

“Ah, a little puppy, then.” He pats your head. “My silly puppy.”

[dragon-ascent]

For a man who has seen an unfathomable amount of years pass by, birthdays start to hold less and less significance to the point that it becomes just another day—for Zhongli, at least, he’s always regarded this day as an opportunity to reflect on the year’s journey and look forward to the next one.

With you around, things are different. It’s always a day you make as special for him as possible, brimming with love and hugs and kisses and gifts galore. After the initial hype and affection, you set out to do whatever Zhongli wishes for the day.

This year, your husband takes you around the city to indulge in a myriad of leisurely activities.

First, he takes you out to a florist’s for flower arranging, teaching you about the significance of combining fresh Qingxin with evening-hued Violetgrass, or the meaning behind a bouquet with five Silk Flowers and two Glaze Lilies. (You make him a bouquet with every kind of flower arranged neatly in a heart shape.)

✯

The high morning is pleasant, so he takes you out to enjoy the natural world atop a hill overlooking the vast valleys beyond the harbor. As the cool breeze caresses your face, Zhongli tells you a story about an adeptus said to be cloaked in mist and dew, appearing only when the sunlight dapples just the right spot.

✯

A hearty lunch is in order! You take Zhongli to Xinyue Kiosk and order a heavenly spread, sumptuous and elaborate as his tastes. You’re supposed to be paying, but Zhongli insists on doing so himself—he brought his wallet, after all. You pout at this, but he simply laughs and pops a dumpling in your mouth, cooing at how adorable you look. It instantly perks you up.

✯

Nostalgia touches Zhongli, for he wishes to dress in his old garb of centuries past—it’s alright, he tells you, nobody in this day and age will be able to tell. So here he is, in regal brown and gold, elegant as a dragon, poised as a Qilin. (You drop to your knees in reverence, but Zhongli, ever the humble man, picks you up and draws you close to his chest. That only makes you melt even more.)

✯

Tea and calligraphy are an affable pair, so you spend the evening together penning elegant verses while sipping tea and enjoying a stage performance while you fret over your artistic skills. Your husband assures you your wonky looping and ghastly lettering are actually very charming, but he’s one to talk. He’s penned down, in sublime writing, verses of poetry that could make Celestia weep.

✯

The night market is bustling with people! Vendors hawking their goods, buyers laughing, haggling and chattering. A dough sculpture shop catches your eye, and Zhongli is all too happy to tell you about the history of dough sculpting. When he lets you take your pick of the playful little figures, what else do you pick but a lovely Rex Lapis figure?

As the night climbs on and the year writes its final words before turning to the next chapter, there’s a show of fireworks to honor everything that has been and everything that will be. Of course, you always treat it like a double celebration for your beloved’s birthday.

Hugging him close, you gaze up at that boundless sky, raising your new Rex Lapis dough sculpture and pretending he’s up there, weaving his way through those glorious lights. But the reason for your beaming face is, primarily, thanks to the fact that the brightest star is right next to you, hand around your waist, cheek nuzzling yours in tender affection.

Zhongli, too, smiles to himself, warmth touching his face like a brand new dawn.

Your happiness is the greatest gift you could ever give him.

[dragon-ascent]

If you have a native language you speak other than the common tongue, best believe you’ll try to use it on Zhongli to poke a bit of fun at his expense.

Except, it doesn’t really work.

You’re grinning as you try to get Zhongli to say something that you told him means ‘I am handsome,’ but actually means ‘I am really stupid.’ But he simply raises an eyebrow and narrows his eyes at you.

“Darling,” he starts slowly, in your native tongue, “I have perfected speaking your language already. I know that does not mean what you claim it means.”

Your eyes go wider than the bowl you had slurped noodles out of last night. “What?! When did you learn?!”

He simply smiles, ever the picture of serenity. “It is only natural for me to learn the language of my beloved, is it not? I had begun learning since a little before our marriage.”

“W-well…how come you never said anything?”

“I wished to wait for the right moment, darling.” He’s still as serene as ever. “Though I do suppose there’s no better moment for you to find out than this. Your teasing will have no effect on me.”

From then on, he begins to greet you in your native tongue. Flawless pronunciation as always, his sentences flowing like spring rivers. Heck, sometimes it feels like he’s far more fluent than you are.

And he is, actually. Not only does he speak with perfect contemporary vocabulary most frequently adopted by most native speakers, he’s also learned the finer, older dialects seen in literature of centuries past. Words that you don’t know and sentences that you can’t comprehend because they’re so far removed from the lexicon of today…

“What do you think?” Zhongli asks eagerly, having just waxed poetic in the old vernacular of your language.

You blink at him blankly but affix a smile onto your face. “I think I heard the word for ‘cat’ somewhere in there?”

“Oh, no, darling. I was comparing your visage to an autumn moon.”