She gets so much grief for "pushing people away" and not communicating her needs and traumas to people who "just want to help her", but there are many times Nesta speaks up about her wants and needs and fears and it all gets disregarded.
ACOWAR she tells Feyre she is too traumatised to take baths anymore, and Feyre offers to get something fixed for her so she doesn't have to, but this never happens. Instead Nesta forces herself to have baths, building up her tolerance over a long period of time.
She tells Cassian who is dragging her out of an inn that she wants to stay and listen to the music, but he disregards that and doesn't even consider that music might actually make Nesta happy, until someone else verifies it.
She tells the IC that she desperately, frantically does not want to scry again. The whole point of locking her in the House of WInd was apparently to "help her heal from her trauma", and here she is saying, this thing was extremely traumatic for me, please don't make me do it again, but they double down on the pressure and exploit her protectiveness of Elain to manipulate her into doing so.
Solstice party, Cassian knows the sound of fire crackling makes her think of her dad's neck being snapped. He spends the whole party with other people, aware that Nesta is by the fire and suffering, and all he does is spare her the odd glance and feel gratitude she's pushing it down and not acting out.
Nesta tries to tell Cassian why she finds accepting the Mating bond difficult, not loving Cassian, not accepting a future with him, but the Mating bond itself, because it means relinquishing her last shred of humanity, and Cassian, who this whole time has been telling Nesta "just talk to me, I can take it, be as mean as you want just don't shut me out", lashes out at her and says he's shackled to her.
To which the only thing Nesta asks him to do is give her space, and he immediately starts thinking of ways he can override her wishes.
Just another reminder that none of their actions, Feyre, Cassian's, the IC, was about helping Nesta, it was about helping themselves. It was about getting Nesta to play happy families for Feyre's sake, it was about getting Nesta to submit to the Mating Bond for Cassian's sake, and it was about turning her into a weapon to be exploited for the IC's sake.
And yeah, none of these people have to like her. None of these people are obligated to want good things for her or make decisions for her benefit. But if that's the case, they should just stay away from her.