(Puāar comes home to Yamuchaās swanky cabin when the semester lets out at Shapeshifting University)
Puāar: I see the two empty bourbon glasses in the sink ⦠Have you been drinking with the foxes again?
Yamucha: (is at his tiny table eating Bachelor Chow with a spoon that looks so small in his garage of a fist, shirtless after sleep, appearing very much like a hairy middle aged man): Oh no ⦠I just had some company over last night is allā¦
Puāar: Youāre not still rebounding from when Tenshinhan broke up with you are youā¦
Yamucha: No no ⦠Just a guy friend ā¦.
Puāar: Oh well thatās good. Anyone I know?
Yamucha: Eh .. shoot Puāar .. it was just Vegeta is allā¦
Yamucha: Yeah ⦠you remember before you left for school that he was starting to loosen up at Guyās Night .. you know he can actually be pretty decent company if youāre willing to put the time in and drill past his unsociable and unseemly exteriorā¦
Puāar: Yes I remember that but I canāt believe that youāre actually hanging out? Still? That was a while ago. Heās not, like, sick of you yet?
Yamucha: WOW. Really feeling the love Puāar.Ā
Puāar: How is it that youāve got Vegeta domesticated and hanging out with you??
Yamucha: Well, Iām just charming is all.
(silence. It feels tense for some reason.)
Puāar: I know youāre charming, but heās not. How is he good company for you?
Yamucha: ā¦Geez, I dunno. Why all the questions? You know you wouldnāt have to ask if you hadnāt left. Maybe see for yourself next time heās over.
Puāar: You know Iām trying to get my Masterās -
Yamucha: And you canāt come back on the weekends?
Puāar: Itās tough breaking away from school every week like that, I canāt afford the distraction!
Yamucha: Well Iām sorry that Iām just a DISTRACTION from your VERY IMPORTANT LIFE GOALS.
Puāar: You know itās not like that-!
Yamucha: I know, I know, I know, Iāve heard it. Look Iām- ⦠Iām tired, okay? I didnāt sleep much last night. Youāre back now, letās .. letās just move on.Ā
Puāar: ā¦Ā āNext time heās over,ā huh? You think heāll be back?
Yamucha: Presumably. Probably. Possibly. Maybe.
Puāar: ā¦He come around often?
Ymaucha: (puts spoon down) ā¦. Puāarā¦.
Puāar: ā¦You didnāt sleep much last night?
Yamucha: Itās not like that-
Puāar: Oh you think it fit to lie to my face now?Ā
Yamucha: Oh you think it fit to accost me in my own cabin now?
Yamucha: My cabin, your cabin - Vegetaās around more often than you are, is it his cabin now too?
Puāar: You canāt be ser- Heās married, you know!
Yamucha: Maybe. Not that youād know. Youāre always away at Two-Faced University.
Puāar: Yamucha, Iām sorry. I thought that Iād be good to go but now I see that I shouldnāt have left you alone. I didnāt realize that you were not handling well the breakup with Tenshi-
Yamucha: Donāt even say his name, this isnāt about him! I donāt want to hear his name. Look heās a swell guy but Iām past him. He can go train in that waterfall all alone if he wants to so bad Iām not gonna stop him. Iām over him. This isnāt about him. Iāve moved on. I have other friends now.
Puāar: What are their names? Jack Daniels and Brandy?
Yamucha: QUIT IT PUāAR. You know Iām a Bourbon man now.
Puāar: Vegetaās not your friend.
Yamucha: What do you know about friendship Puāar.
Puāar: Iām your best friend!
Yamucha: And Vegetaās around more than you are!Ā
Puāar: YOU CANāT BE HAVING GAY SEX WITH VEGETA!
Yamucha: WHAT OF IT? WHY NOT?
Puāar: BECASUE! BULMA WILL KILL YOU!!!
Yamucha: SO? IāVE DIED BEFORE, IāLL DO IT AGAIN!
Puāar: (tearing up) I DONāT WANT TO LOSE YOU AGAIN!!!
Yamucha: (even though it hurts him to say) YOU ALREADY HAVE..!!
i dont know how to end this post