burdened heart.

[dragonskinned]

latrocinari:

Things were… awkward.

The feeling in the air is a lot different than he expected. Was he just imagining things? Was his feelings making things up? Or maybe there was a small chance that Kamui remembered his time here. Maybe Kamui remembered the time they shared together. Maybe Kamui remembered the feelings he had for Zero in return.

His voice felt dry and at first, he found himself unable to answer him. Had he been well? Even before Kamui left, things weren’t really that great for him. The prince leaving him just didn’t help things for him.

     “… Yeah, I’ve been well. As well as I can be. But,      admittedly, I…”

I haven’t been happy, was on the tip of his tongue. The look on Zero’s face softened, the an expression that he had only shown Kamui before. The look of longing, the look of trust - it was written all on his face and in that lonely, blue eye of his.

The chance he had was there. He could always ask and if Kamui said ‘I don’t remember’, then he could leave. He could bury his feelings for the prince and allow him to live his life. He didn’t need to burden him with feelings he could not return.

     “… Kamui, do you remember being here before?”

He was scared, a feeling unknown to him. He didn’t like this uncertain feeling, but he needed to know, even if it killed him on the inside.

It could be worse.

It could always be worse.

Don’t dwell too much on it. It could be worse.

Kamui’s shoulders slump for a second and he just breathes; in, slowly and deeply. Out, even slower, steadier. His hands clasp behind his back loosely, head tilting when he meets Zero’s gaze again and the response to his question makes his eyebrows raise - and so does the expression that crosses the other male’s face. There’s curiosity in his own, he can tell, but there’s not much he can do to cover it up.

The prince’s lips purse before they part at the sound of the question, before pressing together again. It doesn’t feel.. wrong. Or bad. It’s awkward, sure, but that was just how things were. He’s not sure what this anxiety is or where it’s coming from, but Kamui can practically feel his hands shaking behind his back.

It’s fine.

“I do, actually!” It sounds closer to normal, for the shorter of the two at least, and Kamui rocks back onto the heels of his feet before he hums in thought. It’s.. hard, strange maybe, to try to broach a subject like this. Memories are a fickle thing; especially in this place, he figures. You could never be sure. And it’s obvious that neither of them are. “I remember-- everything,” there’s hesitance, but not as much as the uncertainty that drowned his voice before, “now, at least. I didn’t, for a while.. but I’m..” and his voice hitches, before he clears it and manages a quirk of his lips, “I’m.. relieved, that I do remember. It’s important, after all!”

[dragonskinned]

latrocinari:

@dragonskinned

A part of him wanted to run away the minute he saw a familiar flash of white.

At first, he wondered if he’s hallucinating out of pure loneliness, but he blinked again and knew that he wasn’t dreaming. Kamui was back, it seemed. They brought him back to this place yet again. The selfish part of Zero was glad that he was here again, but he didn’t want Kamui to be here, despite that. He’d rather him be back home, safe and sound.

Now, his feet were stuck to the ground, as if he was stuck there and no matter how hard he tried to move, he couldn’t. What should he do? Should he try and talk to him normally, like he hadn’t been here before?

His heart hurt at that thought.

Finally, he took a deep breath, clearing his throat so he could catch Kamui’s attention. His usual smirk was on his face, masking any sort of hurt that was welling up inside of him, as that lone blue eye peered into the prince’s crimson ones.

     “Lord Kamui. I see you’re doing well.”

He wanted to hold him more than anything, right now.

Kamui isn’t quite sure what he was expecting. It’d been months - he’s lost track of the time, actually, and while being back home made him feel relief in a sense.. it was something that had also filled him with disappointment. Sadness, for some reason that he hadn’t been able to pinpoint for a long few weeks.

Until now.

Now that he was no longer in the safety of the realm back home, he could feel it. Properly. As clear as the concrete beneath bare feet. The prince inhales before letting out a sigh, fingers ruffling almost frustratedly at a mess of white hair before running through the strands to settle them back to how they usually sit.

But there’s hardly time to gain his bearings back, none at all - actually - when he’s face to face with.. well. The reason for those acursed feelings of longing. Immediately, the dragonborn knew.

.. Ah?

“--I, um,” it doesn’t sound nearly as strong or certain as Kamui really wished it had, and sharp canines worry the inside of his cheek before he lets out a breath he really needed to stop holding. Relax. It’s not the end of the world, right? If he didn’t remember - if you were remembering wrong - it wouldn’t be the end of the world.. right?

The uncertainty lingers even as his lips part again, “I am! Very well, actually. You seem fine, too?” There’s a tilt of his head and Kamui leans in, smile fixed, “I would hope so, at least?”

[dragonskinned]

[dragonskinned]

[latrocinari]

I don’t wanna hear it from you, scalie.

[dragonskinned]

Wh--

[dragonskinned]

You look away for one second and suddenly things have taken the weirdest goddamn turn.

[latrocinari]

TO: Kamui FROM: Zero

[ ✉ ] that’s pretty cute too. [ ✉ ] let’s see… [ ✉ ] ( file attachment.jpg )

[dragonskinned]

to: zero!! from: kamui!

[ ✉ ] they must be very small to fit in cups like that.. [ ✉ ] oh! [ ✉ ] ( file attachment.jpg )

[envyswake-deactivated20180630]

to: kamui from: zelos

[ ✉ ] how cute! [ ✉ ] look at this [ ✉ ] (file attachment.jpg)

[dragonskinned]

to: zelos from: kamui!

[ ✉ ] um [ ✉ ] ...

[ ✉ ] ( file attachment.jpg )

[latrocinari]

TO: Kamui FROM: Zero

[ ✉ ] how cute. [ ✉ ] ( file attachment.jpg )

[dragonskinned]

to: zero!! from: kamui!

[ ✉ ] wahhhh how cute..... [ ✉ ] what about this one [ ✉ ] ( file attachment.gif )

[dragonskinned]

                                                       rank up!

to: all contacts. from: kamui!

[ ✉ ] look at this [ ✉ ] ( file attachment.jpg )

[wordsnquotes]

I loved you long before I had the guts to let you know.

William Chapman (via wordsnquotes)

[latrocinari]

Another laugh escaped his lips at Kamui’s words. He is pretty quick on his feet and besides, he’s probably taken worse than a simple step on toes. Still, he would be mindful of boundaries either way. Even if Kamui’s feet aren’t that sensitive, it would ruin the mood greatly if they had to stop because Zero couldn’t keep a good watch on his feet.

As usual, Kamui’s hand was nice and warm in his. He swore, he could hold the other male’s hand forever if he was allowed to. He allowed himself to be pulled towards the center of the dance floor, raising a slight brow at the notion. He hadn’t expected the noble to be so bold like this! He did like this side of him, he decided.

As they took a step closer to each other, Zero made a bold move of his own; his hand went to Kamui’s waist, placing itself there for a proper dance stance. The song had switched to something a little slower, which was perfect for the kind of dancing they knew. His hand gripped his gently and he looked towards him with a smile.

     “Don’t worry, I can lead ~. Maybe we should dance more      often, so you won’t have to worry about your ability. I can      teach you a thing or two.”

He flirted with him as they began their dance. Having been taught from Leon, the outlaw was a surprisingly good dancer. It was a handy tool, especially if he needed to woo people for whatever reason. Though, he wondered if being this close to Kamui would ruin his steps in anyway. Kamui made his heart beat so quickly… It was amazing what this man did to him.

[dragonskinned]

The hand on his waist is hardly surprising-- Kamui knew the very basics to dancing, but he can’t say he’s had very much practice in that area. As a prince, though, maybe that was sort of shameful. He’d had.. more important things to focus on and dedicate his time to, not that he regrets it. 

Besides, Zero’s offer was sort of tempting. 

Dancing did seem considerably fun, especially when you were good at it. He could remember few instances of watching siblings and adults alike dance, but being so faint.. it’s not necessarily Kamui’s fault he never pursued further teaching for it. It seems like he had a good enough teacher right now, too. It was kind of exciting.

His free hand lifts in kind, too, fingers settling gently on the other male’s shoulder. Kamui tilts his head a little, lips pursing lightly in concentration. “The basics are simple, from what I remember,” which isn’t much, but it was better than nothing. “I’m not supposed to look at my feet, right?” It’s quiet, considering how close they were as they moved, and Kamui is clearly trying his best to keep his eyes focused upwards.

It was.. harder than he’d thought it be for something so simple as keeping your gaze trained upwards. 

[latrocinari]

     “It keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it? Besides, if I didn’t have      an interesting way of wording things, it wouldn’t be me.”

He was sure that Kamui secretly liked his interesting phrases and wording ( at least, when it was in good fun ). It probably wasn’t considered naughty or anything like that, but it was Zero. He was always a little strange. Maybe that was a charming aspect of him. Probably, probably not.

The dance floor was less crowded enough so that they would be able to dance without anyone bumping into them luckily, but crowded enough so they would be able to blend in well with the others. He was hardly focused on others, as Kamui’s reaction to his question made him smile. He was too cute at times. It was hard to believe that someone like him could have grown to like Zero, but he was trying not to complain about it too much.

He watched as the prince trotted away to pull off those shoes, a soft chuckle escaping his lips as he realized what he was doing. He probably won’t ever understand why him and his twin hated shoes, but maybe it was a dragon thing. Well, he could learn all about it with him, maybe.

     “Comfortable now, Kamui? I’ll try not to step on those toes I      love keeping you on ~.”

He teased him a little before offering his hand to him, a slight bow in his stance, and a genuine smile on his face.

     “May I have this dance?”

[dragonskinned]

He has a point there, Kamui assumes. As much as it can be embarrassing, it’s not like he dislikes it. The prince considers that just for a minute, though, before the smile Zero offers in response to his return sort of brings him back to his senses again. It’s nice. This feeling, this experience.. all of it. Something he honestly, truly hopes he never forgets.

“Yes actually,” he answers the first question with a wrinkled nose, “I wouldn’t worry about stepping on my toes. I’m pretty quick on my feet!” The noble is sure Zero’s already aware of that without him having to say it, and he doesn’t assume it’ll be intentional if it does happen; not like his feet are that sensitive anyway, thankfully.

The prince does take the offered hand, lips twitching and curling at the bow that accompanied it as if to accentuate the entirety, a quiet laugh escaping. “Of course,” he hums, taking the opportunity to pull Zero along again, coming to a halt in the midst of all of the people-- essentially in the very center of the dance floor. 

Little exclamations of ‘excuse me!’ and ‘pardon me!’ aside, it wasn’t as hard as Kamui assumed it would be.

And he spins carefully on his toes to face the outlaw, nothing but a bright smile and brighter eyes as he takes a considerable step closer. “Though, admittedly,” Kamui comments offhandedly, “I’m not really the best dancer.”

[dragonskinned]

[latrocinari]

The kiss was more than nice. It really was like the first time they kissed. Zero wanted to cherish this moment for the rest of his life. He wanted to cherish Kamui for the rest of his life. He didn’t want to let him go.

     “And you say I’m a tease… Maybe I’m already rubbing off on      you. How naughty ~.”

The teasing was met with a soft laugh, gently bumping his nose against his. He couldn’t help but press his lips against his forehead now, wanting nothing more than to shower the noble with love and affection. Ah, but he has to remember the time and place; he was sure they were getting a few looks just being out here and holding each other like this.

The gust of wind did make the outlaw shiver a little as well and at Kamui’s suggestion, he nodded his head and forced himself to pull away from him. But, he does hold his hand in his as he led Kamui back inside. He welcomed the warm air from inside of the mansion after that small gust of cold air hitting them. The dance floor is a lot less crowded, as Kamui guessed.

     “Looks like you were right.”

He chuckled a little before looking towards the prince, gripping his hand in his a little more tightly.

     “Do you want to dance? At least just once before the night      is over…?”

[dragonskinned]

“Your choice of wording is always.. interesting,” Kamui comments, white eyebrows raising as he takes a step back; he hardly thinks something like that should be considered ‘naughty’, but who was he to say? Maybe the outlaw just saw it differently. Who knows. Surely not him. 

But he’s content to let Zero lead the way back inside, peering around the taller of the two of them to watch people come and go. It was still considerably crowded, yes, but the amount of people was definitely thinning out. How long had they been outside? It hadn’t felt very long, but he always wasn’t the best judge of time, either.. apparently, that is. Kamui’s head tilts off to the side before Zero’s voice pulls his attention, eyes lifting as the grasp on his hand tightens and he perks up a little at the sound of the offer.

He looks to the dance floor, peeking over the outlaw’s shoulder in consideration. “Yes! .. Actually,” the prince answers, “I have to take care of one thing first.” It’s curt and he pulls his hand from Zero’s grasp gently to turn and take the few steps towards one of the tables to sit down and--

Take his shoes off.

Much better. Gods, who ever thought these things were a good idea? Not to mention these ones in particular! All the way up to his knees.. they took forever to get on! At least getting them off was easier. But he’s back up on his feet quickly, tucking said monstrosities under the chair and out of the way of clumsy passersby, pale feet tapping as he pads back over to the outlaw, “There.”

[latrocinari]

In Zero’s opinion, the way Kamui had to get on his tip toes a little was cute, but at least that was the only thing that came with the height difference. It could have been a lot worse. The warm cheek pressed in the palm of his hand just made him smile even more and he couldn’t stop himself from stroking his cheek. Kamui was cute. More than cute. He really was beautiful.

He chuckled more at the prince’s answer, mainly because he would probably kiss him at the most embarrassing times. But he’d hold back on embarrassing him too much for him. For now, he was focusing on the present.

The outlaw leaned in once he was granted permission and pressed his lips against his, softly and sweetly like the first time they kissed. It felt like that first time too, but he’s sure that he could never tire of kissing the prince. It just felt so right and natural to him. Zero’s lips lingered on his, so Kamui could get a chance to kiss him back, before he pulled away to rest his forehead against his.

     “You’re so wonderful… I’m a very lucky person to have      you in my life.”

[dragonskinned]

There’s more of an effort on Kamui’s behalf this time as opposed to the first time-- he responds in kind, quicker than before, red eyes closing slowly; contently. It’s not too long, not too drawn out, though a quiet sigh escapes when their lips part again. There’s silence again, not the slightest bit uncomfortable this time, and the noble feels warmth against his forehead again. It makes his lips twitch, curving, before his eyes open again.

They were close, so close, but it didn’t feel uncomfortable. Not in the slightest.

But the words are embarrassing, flattering of course, and Kamui’s smile grows just the smallest bit wider. It was nice-- to be able to feel like this, to be able to express it. It’s relieving, like a weights been lifted from his heart and shoulders both and the noble feels so light and warm it’s almost unbelievable.

“I try my best,” Kamui hums in response, teasing, his nose brushing Zero’s before his feet fully meet with the cooler ground beneath them. A brief gust of wind causes a small shiver and the prince shifts, leaning closer, head tilting to the side. “Should we head back inside?” It was a suggestion, of course-- this was just as good, really, “Perhaaaaps the dance floor has died down a little.” 

[latrocinari]

When Kamui tried to resist laughing at the gentle touch of his ears, Zero couldn’t help but laugh a little as well, looking down at him with fondness in his eyes. If he could get him to laugh like that every day, he would be the happiest man alive. Maybe it ruined the moment a little, but that was fine. They would have more moments to perfect in the future.

The kiss to his palm surprised him, but he accepted it as the blush on his cheeks grew more. Kamui’s lips felt so nice, even on his gloved hands. He did his best to resist just kissing him right there. At his words, the outlaw nodded in agreement, exhaling another breath.

     “Yeah. Together. I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

The way the prince peered at him only made more butterflies flutter in his stomach. Being looked at so warmly, so fondly… It amazed him that someone other than Leon and Odin could look at him with such happiness. But he was glad. He was so glad.

     “… Can I kiss you, Kamui?”

The words sort of tumbled out of his mouth, but it’s all he wants to do right now. He wants to kiss him.

[dragonskinned]

Fingers flex, relaxing finally, arms loosely and comfortably keeping their place wrapped around Zero’s neck, The height difference wasn’t as bad as it could be, at least-- he only had to be up on his tiptoes a little bit. Could definitely be worse. This was nice, actually. His eyes refocus quickly at the sound of laughter and Kamui’s lips curve almost automatically in response, a smile spreading slowly. 

He liked this. He more than liked this. 

Kamui’s head turns again, though, warm cheek pressing back into Zero’s palm before he blinks once at the sound of the question. For some reason, it was surprising. It definitely shouldn’t have been, and the noble has a feeling it shouldn’t exactly embarrass him at this point either but it does and he can feel the heat flooding back almost immediately.

“Of course,” it’s the only thing he answers with, arms tightening just so as he leans up that slightest bit more, “Whenever you want.” Maybe he’ll regret that comment a little later-- when he’s been good and embarrassed in front of others, perhaps. But for now, at least, the prince more than means it.