you stared blankly at the party going on in front of you, pressed between choso and the couch arm, the wrapped paper between your glossed lips as you took in a drag, then breathed out. you could feel choso’s eyes on you, eyebrows furrowed in slight concern, before your best friend —and plug— nudged you gently. “are you okay?”
you blinked, throat suddenly feeling too dry to breathe, but nodded, gaze set ahead. “…yeah.”
he frowned, but nodded back, fortunately too high himself to pull answers out of you. you kept your gaze ahead, eyes on the people making out, people grinding, and worst of all— people flirting with a soft look on their face.
twenty years of your life, and no one had ever had a crush on you.
twenty years of your life, and no one had ever even flirted.
fuck, were you really that unappealing? you weren’t a bad person, right? you had lots of friends— enough to know you were pleasant to be around.
your friends always called you pretty, but maybe they were just being flattering. they had to be, right? fuck, what if they were lying all this time? that had to be the reason. but even then, were you so ugly that you weren’t worth anyone approaching you in twenty fucking years?
it wasn’t like you could even confide in someone about it. you hated the pity looks, their stubborn little scowls at they insisted you were pretty— just too pretty that it was intimidating. you hated how they insisted people flirted with you and how you just missed it—
because you fucking knew the truth. you knew no one flirted with you, and you knew that if you were ‘intimidatingly pretty’, you would at least get hit on a few times to at least know.
your vision was briefly blurry, just enough for choso to blink slowly, breathing the smoke out from his blunt. “you’re not even getting high too. you only smoke cigarettes when something is wrong. spit it out.”
“i wish someone had a crush on me.” you mumbled, sighing, eyes shutting briefly. you excepted instant comfort, the small pitiful look, the empty promise you hated that some day, someone will—
you expected anything other than the quiet snort beside you. when you pushed your eyes open again, choso looked smug, like he knew something you didn’t.
your eyes narrowed, having known him too well to immediately figure it out. “do you know something?”
“in my defense, i thought you knew.” he mused. “he has been obsessed with you since like, first year. everyone knows.”
your mind blanked. what? your dazed mind was too, well, unfocused to actually register his words. you had to blink once, twice, before you finally blurted out, “what the fuck are you talking about?”
choso shamelessly pointed across the room, and your eyes trailed over, only for you to freeze when your eyes met sharp, vaguely familiar pretty red ones.
“choso.” you breathed out, not daring to pull your eyes away from his— not when he was staring at you so intensely, like you would disappear if he did.
“yes?” choso yawned— too nonchalantly, enough to make you tempted to smack him on the back of his head with enough force to knock him off the fucking couch.
“…why the fuck is sukuna staring at me?” you mumbled, a hand going through your hair, halting at the roots with a slow blink. “i am too fucking high for this.”
“one, you’re sober. two, he always stares at you,” choso scoffed. “he’s fucking obsessed. everyone knows about his little crush on you. we all thought you knew.”
“he never stares at me—“ you muttered, before shaking your head. “is this a prank? ‘cause it really isn’t funny.”
choso scoffed, before glancing up just as a familiar white-haired boy was passing by. “yo, gojo. who has a crush on her?”
gojo glanced down, and immediately gasped, blue eyes bright and excited, managing to yell an “sukuna confessed?!” just before he was being pulled away. choso grinned at your flabbergasted stare, shrugging.
“he thinks you’re pretty. have wanted you for years.”
“…this has to be a joke.” you mumbled, eyes flickering back at where he stood again, face flushing just the slightest when his bright eyes met yours again, turning back to choso. “is this a joke?”
“no— ow.” choso’s red tinted eyes narrowed briefly at the way you smacked the back of his head. “what the hell?”
“what the hell is wrong with you?” you muttered back. “you knew he had a tiny crush—“
“—on me and you never said something?” you hissed,. you purposefully ignored the mumble he let out for your own sanity, and he had the audacity to pout. “what is wrong with you?”
“i thought you knew.” he grunted. “and before you overthink and say he would have definitely done something if he has a crush on you— he said you’re too good for him, or something.”
you blinked. “he said what?”
“he said you’re too cute and pretty to be ruined by him, whatever that means.” choso drawled out, between drags. “but, he said if you were to ever approach him, he would never reject you— or something. i don’t remember, i was high.”
“‘cause he’s always asking me about you. i would not handle that sober.”
you shook your head, pushing yourself up. “‘m choosing to believe that you’re a filthy liar.” you muttered, walking away before he could answer. you slid into the kitchen quietly, grabbing a drink before you were trying to slide back out between the drunken bodies— only to bump into someone. you glanced up, and froze. “fuck, sorry.”
sukuna only stared blankly at you, before he gave you a nod, walking past you.
“‘has a crush on you’ my ass. sukuna probably hates me.” you mumbled to yourself, tilting your head back to drown your drink down.
“…excuse me?” an unamused voice deadpanned just right beside you, and you let out a startled squeak, jumping. you glanced to your side, and froze at the sight of sukuna staring down at you, a small scowl on his lips. you swallowed harshly, taking a step back while mentally considering how lame you would be if you just turned around and sprinted away.
he leaned closer, scowl widening, an arm landing beside you, trapping you between him and the wall had you blinking out of your thoughts. you cleared your throat awkwardly, glancing anywhere but him. “uh…hi. sorry. i was thinking out loud.”
“why were you thinking about me?”
please, floor, split open and swallow me. in fact, please, ceiling, drop on me instead—
calloused, warm fingers gently grabbed your jaw, tilting your head so your eyes meet his.
he leaned in closer, eyes narrowing. “talk.”
“i heard a very silly rumor you have a tiny little crush on me.” you blurted out. he scoffed loudly, and you ignored the way your heart dropped to your stomach, your brain repeating ‘i knew it, i knew it’ over and over till you felt nauseous. yet, you forced a small smile. “stupid, i know.”
he let go of your jaw, leaning closer so his lips were mere millimeters away from your ear. you could smell his perfume, the heat of his body haunting yours as his other hand met the wall, successfully trapping you inside.
“very stupid,” he whispered. “it isn’t a ‘tiny, little’ crush. i fucking like you.”
“exactly, i was just saying you would never—“ your words halted once his words registered, mind going blank, jaw going slack. he pulled away, moving so he was back to staring at you, intense eyes holding eye contact while he leaned closer. how the fuck were you supposed to talk with someone who looked like he was carved instead of born staring at you? his tattooed arms flexed as he leaned closer, eyes almost softening. you finally remembered how to breathe. “you…”
“i like you,” he repeated. “have liked you for your years. you’re an oblivious pretty little thing, huh?”
you stared at him, flabbergasted and utterly confused, cheeks hot and eyes wide, and his smirk widened in a way that didn’t help your hammering heart. then, his warm fingers were reaching over, pushing a strand of your hand behind your ear with gentleness you didn’t think any man was capable of.
you swallowed, then. “i… don’t get it.”
“then let me take you out,” he murmured, voice low and almost hoarse, almost as if he was holding himself back from being too much. “and ‘ll make you understand.”
(a/n: i really haven’t written in so long lol this is still weird to me. just kinda writing to remember how to go back to this is kinda ass. and yes, my bio is true lol. that explains why he’s probs so ooc.)
janainaart
areudirty
kianamaiart
turnnoffyourmind
snowghoul
vaporwave
romaincrisis
