Nothing Was The Same

27 | PNW | Drake + Kobe = drakobe. Disney & Basketball fanatic. Do the next right thing.

[drakobe]

Well we've reached the end of 2023 and it's been a wild ride. So much has happened, even within the last month of when I last posted, and tbh I'm not in as good of a spot as I would like to be. I'm trying to drive the change that i've been wanting for myself, but in all reality, it's been really overwhelming for me. I just want to feel the way I was expecting to feel by making these major life changes. But instead i'm just all over the place, and I have to do it all by myself. It's rough. Hoping 2024 treats me well.

[drakobe]

So much is happening, I’m feeling every kind of emotions and I can’t sleep. I just want things to work out in some way, even if it’s not how I’m expecting. How can things seem so good and bad at the same time? It would be nice to just not think and feel so hard. It’s a blessing and a curse!

[drakobe]

Venting at 5am when I should be asleep lol

Idk which is worse for me rn, my physical or mental state lol. I have a bad habit of making myself as busy as possible so I don’t have to worry about life’s troubles, but it always comes back to hurt me when I’m by myself and can’t cope with the pressures of reality. Which in turn, makes me want to be gone from here. I’m the worst person for having all these things and being unhappy and unable to do what’s best for me. Maybe it’s why I try so hard to help others bc I can’t bother to help myself, and it sucks sometimes! Just let me bless someone and take my place in this world so I don’t have to waste it being me. If only it were that easy! But if it were, I probably wouldn’t even still be here lol, I need to sleep. Bye

[drakobe]

I swear I’m only ever here just to vent lol

Hate it when I just know I can’t fall asleep bc that’s when my mind goes rampant and just makes everything worse.

My stupid mind defaults every roadblock and negative action to dying as a way of getting over it, and it’s so stupid that my mind does that lol.

And then I get stupid thoughts where I wish I was gone and my friend was still here bc the world would be so much happier. Again, stupid that my mind does that automatically lol.

I wonder if therapy would actually fix it, but I’m too scared and stubborn to get myself to do anything, and I hate it. Life would be so much easier if it was done hahahaha but alas, life goes on

Now pls let me sleep already bc I gotta wake up in a few hours ☠️

[drakobe]

Saw Keshi live today and got triggered into my sad boi era lol. Took the time to look back at my old posts here and amazed at how things have changed since I started this back in 2013! Been 10 years and I somehow still ended up wanting to die somehow?! Not to say that it isn't better than before, just haven't had this urge in a long time actually haha.

Guess you can say life's been kinda good? But also bad in other ways too sooooo whatever that means lol.

Wondering how I can still be sad like this with all that I've gone through to get to where i'm at. Not my total end goal but i've actually done a lot more than I ever thought I would so that's kinda cool!

Funny enough, i'd still probably rather be dead lmao but I guess that's also (my) life in a nutshell

I'll probably be back with another post soon enough but my thoughts were different tonight so I wanted to vent a little for old time sake

[nicostiel]

GROGU AND DUST BUNNIES | Studio Ghibli x Lucasfilm

[unkutraww-deactivated20230426]

Kobe & MJ

[dcbicki]

High School Musical (2006) dir. Kenny Ortega

[su-n-s-e-t]

[lapiz-nomada]

[myopressivedepression]

[pierppasolini]

Peanuts (December 31, 1962) by Charles M. Schulz

[galindaelphaba]

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (2006) dir. Kenny Ortega

[filmreel]

Kiki’s Delivery Service 1989, dir. Hayao Miyazaki

[darknightofthescorp]

[hislovebird-deactivated20240414]

Fly me to the moon

[snobgoblin]

happy new year! 🎊