[dramakingtm]

sinhasaname‌:

a laugh and a shake of her head answered him. “no,” lucrezia added, “not too obvious.” a small tease wouldn’t go amiss, would it? in turn, the intention gave way to a thought, another question: did androids have a sense of humour? was it developed alongside sentience or something injected into their code? “it makes sense. although appreciating the complexity and beauty of the human body is very different from doing the same thing with the human mind.” that connor failed to allow the same consideration, the same admiration, to his own kind still seemed different to her. he had been created by people, by the same humans he could now talk to and look at, touch and feel; men and women couldn’t whether their beliefs grounded them in a rational atheism or the blind devotion of a faith. “recreating a living thing isn’t outside the realms of possibilities. cloning… it’s not possible yet but it could be one day. human cloning, i mean.” was it so daunting to humankind? it certainly would administer a massive blow, set shifts into motion from which they wouldn’t recover. “if you could, would you like to experience what we do? pain and misery?”

He stared at her, wondering for a second if she was laughing at him (it wouldn’t be the first time someone did). There were things that people found sometimes a bit too awkward or just plain weird about him, Connor didn’t see them, but apparently, these things were there and were part of his personality. “And what makes you think I haven’t thought about that? I have thought of everything. The human mind is an entire wonder of its own, but as amazing as it is, it’s also the most fragile thing, but that’s a conversation for another time. A longer one.” Because he could go for quite some time talking about this. “But you see, that’s where you’re wrong. Cloning is not the same as creating. It’s easy to make a copy of something that already exists, but creating it out of nothing? that’s the difficult part. I could replicate a painting to perfection, but it won’t have the essence than the original did and even if one of these days people actually manage to create an actual human as they create machines, it would lack a soul.” It was the way he saw it and it was the way he saw himself as well. No matter how human he looked or how human he acted, a soul was something that he was always going to lack. “I don’t think anyone wants to experience pain.” But misery? that he knew, but it was something that had decided to hide from others. “I mean, if you could stop feeling these two things, wouldn’t you?”

[dramakingtm]

monstersaremade‌:

it was more than that in every aspect save for appearances, and they both stuck to those like actors did to  lines and stage direction. cesare wondered why. there was no one else to witness the kind of show they were putting on so why? why bother? troubled more than he was hurt by what came next, some ugly concern she spilled out without much of a prompt, he leaned in and for an instant, for a split second that seemed to stretch, he looked as though he meant to touch her. his hands, though, remained cupped around his mug, his fingers a tight lace to cage its warmth. hers would be warm, too. and soft. touching them wouldn’t mean anything more, stand as anything more than a brotherly gesture of comfort. still, he didn’t. he sat there and looked at her. “why would not have me? what… how could that even happen, lucrezia?” what was it? their family? or some phantomatic threat whose existence was confined to the dark recess of her mind? “we’re different,” he stated, a lie that wasn’t one, not entirely. “it’s just us here. there’s nothing and no one to fuck this up.”

“Can you promise me that?” It was true, despite everything that had happened the both of them were still here, together, they had each other, but she was afraid to lose this one of these days and without him, things would only seem to be more difficult. -- How or why it could happen was something still unknown to her, but the possibilities were there even if she tried to ignore them. Happiness was something that never lasted too long for her, just like she was aware that this new life she had started on her own was only temporary because sooner or later she would have to return to the family, because at the end that’s where she belonged. She was only prolonging the inevitable. “Promise me that nothing is going to change between us, no matter what.” He had said it before, but at times like this is when she needed to hear it the most because it was the thought of not having him by her side that always managed to wake up this fear in her. Getting rid of a distance that shouldn't have been there to begin with, she stood up and decided to sit by his side instead. “This might probably sound like I’m being dramatic, but you can’t really blame me for worrying about these sort of things.”

[dramakingtm]

detectivepubehead‌:

“it’s not up to you, robin.” whatever brockbank would do, whatever alyssa would do. strike wanted, to give her some sort of blessing (and he oddly wondered whether she was seeking it at all) for acting on benevolent intentions but the truth was: her actions had triggered brockbank to flee - and had perhaps placde alyssa and her daughters into graver danger. bloody hell, she might have even put herself in a hazardous situation. “i understand,” he leaned in, forearms resting on his thighs. “i do understand but i don’t condone it.” she was clever enough to get it. “you allowed your emotions to guide your decision when you knocked on alyssa’s door. there was a proper time to do this and this…” a shake of his head, disappointment plain as day on his face,” this was premature.”

it was harrowing, to know about what they had known, to stay put and quiet, the sit on their hands whilst abuse unfolded. it was harrowing and strike had already encountered, already experienced to know better than to act without gauging the consequences and the collateral damage. “i can’t let you wreck the case robin and most importantly, i won’t let you endanger yourself.” strike was certain that the state she was in at that moment, mentally and physically, would erect barriers to her accepting a blunt, harsh and necessary truth. risking his own life was one thing, putting robin’s on the line was different. “he could have killed you, do you get that? fucking hell, he still can!” there it was. that anger rising again. fear, strike realised, was making a good job of bringing it back full swing.

She wanted to tell him that he didn’t know what he was talking about, that in this situation she knew better than him, that there was no such thing as being premature when a kid was at risk, but these were only excuses to not feel the weight of her mistakes on her shoulders. Instead of saying all this, she remained quiet because she knew that Strike was right. She should have waited, perhaps for a few days or probably a week or two and everything would have ended differently. “The police will get him before he can go too far… before he can hurt anyone else.” They had to because thinking like this was the only consolation that she had. Yes, perhaps what she had done had forced him to remain away from those girls, but how long for him to end up doing the same thing all over again? -- She needed to remain positive, if he got caught, then everything she had done and including each one of her injuries would have been worth it.

Her eyes finally looked at him as she heard him raised his voice at her. “He won’t kill me, he’s going to go and hide somewhere and won’t come near me while the police are looking for him.” Of this, she was sure, but the police were only going to look for him for a period of time before they moved to something else. -- Nothing of what he was saying was making her feel any better about what had happened and the way he kept speaking of things only made her think of the worse. “it won’t happen again, I’ll be more careful next time and you know you can trust me when I say this. I can still help, you know I can.”

[dramakingtm]

detectivepubehead‌:

          of course she wanted to stop him, why else would she have gone ahead, following her heart instead of her head? her motivations weren’t being questioned or judge here. if part of strike understood it, the whole of him failed to condone it, to brush it off as a rooky mistake because on top of the damage inflicted on her, robin had triggered a chain of reactions harming not only their investigation but that of the met. “you knew better, robin.” quietly, a tired and disappointed reply devoid of any trace of anger. “there will be consequences. i hope you’re aware of that.” as ominous as it could get, he didn’t expand on anything.

his head hung heavy between his shoulders, his lips parted to heave out a sigh, his eyes closed for moment. “what did you tell alyssa?” would it be enough for her to start thinking, to consider pressing charges? strike had been around enough cases of child abuse to know nothing ought to be taken for granted and that the fear hooked deep into the victims served as a proverbial prison ensuring their silence. in the end, there was nothing more either he or robin could do.

Robin had been well aware of the consequences, she knew that there was a probability for things to go wrong and she had thought of both a negative and positive outcome and at that moment she thought that not doing anything was more harmful than actually doing something. Now she regretted what she did and not because the consequences that she could be facing now, but because she had solved nothing. -- She couldn’t look at Strike, if there was disappointment in his eyes, she didn’t want to see it. What she couldn’t stop herself from listening were his words and in her, there was this fear hearing him say that he was going to let her go, that she couldn’t keep working for him anymore and if this happened, what was she supposed to do next? She had to make him understand.

”I told her about Brockbank, what she needed to know and I hope she acts on it but the truth is that… I don’t know.” More than a conversation, it had been her trying to speak while Alyssa screamed at her as she attempted to force her out of her house. When she had said these things about him to Alyssa, she seemed to be offended and in denial of everything, but Robin was hoping that her words had planted the seed of doubt in her. “He can’t just leave, disappear and live a happy life. Knowing what I do, I can’t let that happen... We just can’t.” He needed to get caught before he could ruin the life of another girl. “You don’t see this the way I do, I needed to act, I hope you understand this.”

[lovelysuggestions]

i’m so, so glad i stumbled upon you. i’m so glad we met. i’m so glad we bonded. i’ve lost track of how long it’s been, but i know it’s been spectacular with you by my side.

[mykissingstyle]

[dramakingtm]

sinhasaname‌:

“i thought you might.” a smile of her own oddly mirrored his own - as though she was following suite and matching him, mood and expression alike. “mean it, that is.” looking at her own kind through the eyes of someone that hadn’t been born, a machine thought, designed, created by humans, wasn’t something she’d ever thought of doing; nor would she have believed herself interested in when their father had bought a seat on the cyberlife board of owners. “you haven’t bored me,” she smiled again, amused that his fears veered in that direction. better than his concern of offending her. “i suppose that when you put it that way, we do sound fascinating.” but something was missing for lucrezia to fully appreciate the near adoration conveyed by his observations, something connor seemed to possess. was it a trait of his? or a common feature shared by other androids. “what about you though, connor? don’t you find yourself, and other like you, interesting enough to contemplate the way you do humans?”

“I made it too obvious, didn’t I?” That same smile from before came back to him and this time remained longeron his lips. He liked it when she smiled, he preferred to see her like this. If she had thought him boring, she wouldn’t be the first one, many did, they would also describe him as too ‘uptight. In his defense, interacting with people without following his program, it was something he was still learning how to do and he was finding it quite complicated at times. “I suppose I don’t.” They were better and superior to humans, but he thought that this wasn’t the moment to make such comment. “I guess you have to look at something from the outside in order to truly appreciate It. Humans fail to see how unique they are, how complex and amazing the human body is. The tiniest of cells has a function and the smallest of bones has a purpose. You can put together a machine, but you will never be able to recreate a living thing.” There was passion in his voice, making him seem more alive, but to him, this went unnoticed. “What I’m trying to say is that, just like humans, we will never be able to truly appreciate what we are. I guess in some ways we’re not too different”

[beachhousespacesong]

This is so cute

[dramakingtm]

sinhasaname‌:

“no, don’t be.” she reached out, fingers uncurled to wrap about his hands where a soft squeeze was delivered; and just as quickly, they retracted. the touch, lucrezia realised, had been meant to give weight to her words, but connor might not have needed it - or perhaps he simply disliked physical contact. “some people do both, they don’t care and they regret it at once.” her brother was a prime example of so blatant a paradox. profound observations on the human race had been made, their naked truth and wretched state unveiled by someone who wasn’t human in spite of regrets and aspirations, and she wondered whether he knew, whether he’d ever realised how much of a person he already was. “did you only say these things because they sounded right?” or was it a convenient blanket thrown over words he’d apologised for in fear of offending or causing harm. “or do you believe them, those observations you’ve made after all this time being among us?”

Before he had the chance to look down at her hands, she had removed them already and this only woke up a certain degree of disappointment in him. He was not used to this sort of physical contact, but he had found that he didn’t mind it. He wanted to reach for her hand, put his on hers, but at the end, he didn’t. If she didn’t want this, he didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable so instead, he put his hands in the inside of his pockets and carried on with their conversation. -- “You noticed, didn’t you? I meant what I said.” A side smile showed on his lips, feeling like he had been caught in a lie he hadn’t meant to tell in the first place. “I have always found humans fascinating even when I wasn’t myself. Unlike us, you don’t seem to have limits. Things are more difficult for you but still manage to do them. You have created everything here, including us, and without ignoring your mistakes, these are the things I prefer to focus on. -- Have I bored you yet?”

[dramakingtm]

idiosynchronics‌:

          “my family isn’t me, connor.” juan hadn’t been. his father, yes, but his father was almighty. and lucrezia… lucrezia was all the good and pure and redeemable they had, cesare clinging on to it as though he were a pilgrilm kneeling to worship the feet of a saint. “and you still know jack shit.” should he feel guilty that he didn’t feel guilty. if he had to do it again, he would. killing juan had been a necessary evil and the blame couldn’t have befallen anyone - anyone human. androids were machines, objects, pieces designed by the human mind, crafted and assembled to resemble their masters but failing to be anything like them. what they felt, what they thought, what they did, it was nothing more than data, codes fed to their system. that connor failed to consider what he had learnt meant or even implied for cesare, of for the family he claimed to know, spoke volumes and sparked cesare’s anger back to life, its flames only gaining in intensity with each word he dared add.  if before he had considered accepting an apology, it was clearly an option no longer on the table. it was not pride so much as a stronger, greater sense of rejection, of contempt almost dripping from connor’s lips and stance.

the chair groaned and skidded over the floor when cesare sprung to his feet to round the table and catch up with him. he touched his arm at the elbow, stopping his where he moved away; and before he could respond, he was on the android. against his throat, his forearm pressed, arm folding and elbow jutting out to shove him backwards and slam him against the fridge. there was a rattle and clinking sound from within. “i warned you.” the weight of his body was exerting pressure, the bone of his arm digging into connor’s windpipe. he doesn’t need to breathe. “are you trying to provoke me or are you just unable to shut up when fucking asked to?” was he aware that it was more than the shallow surface he was wounding? that his family was everything? that the bond of blood ran deeper than anything his deviancy could ever come close to? “keep your holier than thou judgments to yourself because i can throw you out without an ounce of concern about it. and if you know anything about me, connor, you must know this to be true.”

Before he decided to say anything, he had considered the probabilities for this to happen, but that hadn’t been enough to stop him from saying what he thought and he didn’t regret it. Unlike him, Connor seemed extremely calmed. He felt the pressure of his arm against him but did nothing to try and defend himself, not yet. The empty look he gave him and the blank expression on his face, made him seem void of any emotions, it made him look more like the machine he was and not like the man his artificial skin helped him pass for. — Connor had been built for combat, durability, his body was able to resist more than that one of the average android. He was a weapon and he could easily bring him down if he wanted to, he could kill him if he wished to and walk away as if nothing had ever happened. There was another side of him that he was yet to see and he was testing him. Did he really think that threatening him with throwing him out was going to force him to remain quiet? What he believed in and what he thought was far more important and valuable than having a roof over his head.

“Do not provoke me, because you will end up regretting it.” The skin around his neck began to fade, exposing the white metal under it. He was unable to feel pain and the harm he was doing, but a warning screen appeared in his vision, warning him of the damages that could occur if Cesare decided to continue with this. He was fast, but he was faster, stronger, and more resilient. He could put on a fight, but he was no match for him. Machines were superior to humans, this to Connor was a fact that no one could change. Not wasting another second, his hand formed into a fist and he delivered a strong and single blow directly to the side of his head to disorient him, an action than immediately was followed by another. With force, he pushed him away from him to have him meet the table that was a few feet behind him. “The one that should be careful with the things he says, it’s you. The one that should watch his behavior, it’s you, because if you think I won’t do anything against you, you’re mistaken.” He didn’t want to give him the time, nor the opportunity to attack him again, so he launched himself towards him to deliver a second punch, this time he didn’t end up being as successful as the first time, but he was not ready to stop just yet.

[dramakingtm]

sinhasaname‌:

was it empathy that connor was after? or simply for someone to listen. understanding, relating, lucrezia could only stretch so far. she was human, he wasn’t - and no amount of considering him and treating him as a person would change it. “oh this maker.” there was a flutter of a smile just then, amused, sad. how droll how those emotions often combined. “i’m not sure,” she confessed. faith had always been at the very centre of their family, a vine around which their lives were entangled; and it seemed that none of them could pry themselves free of its grip - as though it had merged with who the borgias were. quite hypocritical, wasn’t it, considering what they were involved in? “i’d ask him why we suffer so much or why we hurt others so badly.” she paused, watched him for a moment. “you know, we believe that we are made in his image.” a small, bitter laugh sounded. “can you believe it?”

The more he looked at her, the more he realized that there was something about her that he couldn’t quite describe, nor grasp. The way she had replied almost made him feel somewhat bad about making her answer such question. “I have learned that humans have a tendency to do that, they hurt themselves and those around them, some regret it and then there are those that simply don’t care.” He looked just like them, but he was never going to be able to understand them fully and yet, every day he tried to do so. “I have seen the terrible things they can do, but I have also met humans so unlike the others, perhaps finding these people among the others is what makes everything more worth it and perhaps experiencing such levels of pain allows you to experience greater levels of happiness there for, making one feel more alive. Of course, I can be wrong, I don’t know much about these things, I don’t even know much about myself. I suppose I only said this because it sounds right, I’m sorry.”

[dramakingtm]

Ⓐ (rate cesare, connor)

Send me Ⓐ and my muse will rate yours ;; @monstersaremade

Attractiveness:

repulsive || hideous || ugly || not attractive || unappealing || not unattractive || meh || no preference || ok || mildly attractive || nice looking || cute || adorable || attractive || pleasant on the eyes || good looking || hot || beautiful || gorgeous || hot damn || perfect || godlike || holy fuck there are no words

Personality:

grating || irritating || frustrating || boring || confusing at best || awkward || unreasonable || psychotic || disturbing || interesting || engaging || affectionate || aggressive || ambitious || anxious || artistic || bad tempered || bossy || charismatic || appealing || unappealing || creative || courageous || dependable || unreliable || unpredictable || predictable || devious || dim || extroverted || introverted ||  egotistical || gregarious || fabulous || impulsive || intelligent || sympathetic || talkative || up beat || peaceful || calming || badass || flexible

Level of Friendship:

never in a million years || worst of enemies || enemies || rivals || indifferent || neutral || acquaintance || friendly toward each other || casual friends || friends || good friends || best friends || practically the same person || would die for them || true friends || my only friend ||

First impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

Current impression of them:

I hate them so much || I don’t like them || I don’t trust them || they annoy me || they’re weird || I’m indifferent || meh || they seem alright || they’re growing on me || truce || I think I like them || I like them || I’m not sure if I trust them || I trust them || they’re cool || they’re genuine || I think we’re going to get along || I really like them || I think I’m in love || oh fuck they’re hot || I love them

How good of a kisser:

worst kisser ever || terrible || bad || awkward || just okay || alright || pretty good || good || excellent || exciting || oh god they’re good || I dream about it || fucking amazing || absolute perfection || we haven’t kissed

[qhio]

Chloë Sevigny.

Self Service (France) - issue #26, Editorial 7.

[iwantakinderworld]

[psychiclibrarian]

[dramakingtm]

idiosynchronics‌:

         not him. lucrezia trusted him to help her stay away, to maintain that distance ensuring that she was not only safe, shielded from their family’s deeds, but happy. was she though? he didn’t ask, feeling as though, once again, the tenuous line between their closeness and their respective need for space was blurred. “you wish?” now that was new. and hurtful. his gaze flickered upwards and from under a creased brow, cesare stared at her with a combination of disbelief, confusion and pain. “you can. of course you can, lucrezia. why do you…  i’ve always been on your side, by your side, you know that.” what transpired between remained between them, it always would. when the sight of her was more an ache than a relief, his eyes lowered again. “it’s us,” he eventually added, that small phrase encompassing all the unspoken and obvious truths, all the withheld feelings and the latent emotions shaping their relationship.

She looked down at her coffee as if she was going to find what she was looking for in it. Sometimes he made things sounds so simple when they weren’t. She wanted to get up and sit by his side and yet, it was like something was making her remain right where she was. “I know, but we know is not that easy. It’s not just a visit, it’s not just a chat, it’s more than that.” It was always more than what it appeared to be, it was those unspoken words that didn’t have to be said for the both to be aware of them, but she was still here and she always came back to him. -- She drank more of her coffee as an excuse to remain quiet, but then put her cup down. “it’s us, but for how much longer? you know how things are in the family, they start fine but only end up getting worse as time goes by... what if it’s the same for us?” Was this an irrational fear? she believed so at times, but it was hard to ignore it. “I only have you, but I fear the day that I won’t.”

[dramakingtm]

monstersaremade‌:

“you don’t…” no. not him. the others. those he’d once hunted with a ruthless determination. “the androids,” she amended. “they weren’t all lost.” how could they be? that feeling, that deep and, dare she think it, intrinsic feeling belonged to the very soul, to a sentience that a machine, by definition, couldn’t possess. connor did. now, though, now they had opened their eyes, now they were thinking. ignorance is bliss, she bit back. “and you’re not useless, connor. you only feel that you are.” would he grasp the difference? lucrezia should have expected the question to be flung back at her. “my maker?” a small smile graced her lips, sadness a fleeting shadow across her face - and as though she was ashamed of letting it show, she looked down. “which one? my parents or god?”

@dieorclimb / ctnd.

“Thanks.” She wasn’t the first person to say this to him, he was positive that she wasn’t going to be the last, but no matter how many times he heard it, it was hard to believe it. He had been created for a reason alone, and now he was no longer needed. Not wanting pity or having people feeling sorry for him, there were things that often he kept to himself. Not only that, but he also believed that if he were to explain things to her, she wouldn’t understand them just like she wouldn’t be able to see things the way he did. “I’m talking about your God.” A small smile appeared on his lips but it was soon gone. ‘God’, the world alone sounded strange to him. “I mean, you believe in him, don’t you?” There were people that didn’t, some people believed in other things or in nothing at all. “If you do, what would you tell him?”