The Art of Ticking
RoxieLexy
Summary:
“If he has a problem with the noise, he can stuff his ears with tissues!” Logan hears these words and feels his muscles begin to tense, he suffers from high anxiety and his body translates that into physical responses. Noises happen to be his strongest trigger but not everyone is understanding of this, or even cares. Thankfully, he has a small cluster of people he considers family who will do almost anything to protect him.
Grocery Store AU!! WARNINGS FOR TICS, HIGH ANXIETY, INDIRECT BULLYING, VIRGIL WISHING TO MURDER SOMEONE, AND SOFT SIDES BEING SOFT.
Notes:
This is a vent fic where Logan has my tics that come with my high anxiety, but he also has friends who take care of him. This is a grocery store au because that is where I work. The customer service manager is based off mine and Logan is based off me. Sadly, I do not have soft cuddly friends like Logan does in this fic. WARNINGS FOR TICS, HIGH ANXIETY, INDIRECT BULLYING, VIRGIL WISHING TO MURDER SOMEONE, AND SOFT SIDES BEING SOFT.
(See the end of the work for more notes.)
Work Text:
Logan was trying very hard not to flinch. Any sign of weakness could be taken as a victory by his opponent. The person before him wasn’t even looking at him, too busy talking to Roman. Roman was glancing uncomfortably between Logan and the loudmouth. He looked increasingly more unsure as to what he was to do. The woman who was speaking was doing so with the confidence of one who is completely unaware that their gossip is being overheard by the person they are talking about. “If he has a problem with the noise, he can stuff his ears with tissues!” She declared hotly, placing her hands on her hips. She was a busty woman with wide hips and was tall and opposing. Her name was Nikki, as specified by the plastic nametag. She was the customer service manager and so felt she could say anything without consequence. Logan stared at the ground, trying to let his mind go numb. He was the shift supervisor that night! He had a floor to run and to make sure that operations ran smoothly! This was no time to become emotionally invested. He turned stiffly and slipped out of the room, his expression somehow blank and dark at the same time. Virgil looked up from where he was filling bags, watching as Logan moved quickly by him, heading for the safe office. Once inside, Logan breathed a deep sigh. The large metal case that held thousands of dollars stared back at him. He gritted his teeth as he felt something go tingling up the back of his neck. He would not. He would not! Despite his determination, it happened. It happened far too quickly for him to comprehend until it was over. His head jerked up and to the side, jostling his glasses slightly. Like an irrepressible itch, he did it again, trying to relieve the tension in his neck. He was soon stuck in what he called ‘the loop’ as he snapped his head back in tiny repetitive movements. The frustration of losing control over his body like this was unexplainable. He whined softly, trying to stop the movement. Becoming vocal obviously proved to be a mistake. His tongue began to click as he tried to redirect the tics. When that didn’t work, he tensed, trying to suppress the feeling. His head bobbed with unrelieved tension. He growled slightly, he would overcome this. Then the noise happened. The sound of cheap plastic clappers snapping back and forth was enough to set the tics off with new energy. Tears threatened to form as Logan finally gave in. His voice was the next to act without his permission. Chanting and clicking filled the small room. “Hi!” He snapped in a high voice, unsure whom he was speaking to, “Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! H-hi! H-h-h-hi!” He slammed a hand over his mouth, trying to silence the noise. His hand didn’t obey him and moved to slam into his temple. He stopped it, redirecting the blow to his chest. It wasn’t ideal but it was better than pounding his skull. His hands began to tremble, and he reached up to grab his hair. Again, recognizing the potential harm, he gripped his shirt vigorously, shaking the material. He moved away from the door and walls to keep himself from slamming his hands into them. The clapping outside had long stopped but Logan didn’t cease the twitching movements. He looked almost possessed as he tried to work himself out of his personal hell. This was why Nikki wanted him to stuff his ears. The tics had been a recent development of his anxiety, according to his therapist. There were sounds that triggered them, and Nikki’s latest addition to the store was one of the strongest triggers Logan had ever encountered. He had tried to keep it quiet but others had noticed and, concerned and loving, they had turned to Nikki for the basic human function of consideration. They hadn’t found it. She had brought the clappers in to promote her fundraisers and she could not find cause enough to stop them. Logan felt the tingly feeling that was now possessing his whole body begin to drain. He pulled himself together as best he could, smoothing his hair and shirt. He took a breath and pushed his way out into the bustle of the grocery store. Virgil was standing near Patton, one of the best cashiers that Logan had ever come across. Roman was emerging from the manager’s office with an expression that was split three way between horror, anger, and disgust. He moved over to Virgil and tapped his elbow gently. The two grocery associates were about to wander away when they caught Logan standing there. The four of them had become fast friends. Roman and Logan knew each other, Virgil and Patton were friends, Virgil and Roman had met through grocery and Logan and Patton had bonded while working the front of the store. Now, Logan could not imagine his life without any of them. He stood still while the three of them made their way over to what they knew to be a camera’s blind spot. Roman bundled Logan into a tight hug. There was no hesitation as Logan let himself grip the back of Roman’s uniform. The cheap material felt odd beneath his fingers and the smell of Roman’s cologne was almost suffocating. He found comfort within the hold to, however. Patton made a soft noise of concern and gripped Virgil’s sleeve to keep him from going to punch someone. “You’re bigger than she is, don’t think to much on it.” Roman whispered. Logan nodded, not trusting himself to speak. As the day went on, he managed to shove it aside, stopping his ears with his fingers every time a clapper went off. Patton didn’t use his once, still managing to bring in the most donations. The night was rough, full of angry customers and tills that didn’t add up. Logan left a note about the safe being off before he finally locked the safe and the office. He tiredly pushed the buttons on the time clock, thankful that Nikki had left some hours earlier. As he stepped out of the store, he cast his eyes around for Patton’s car. The blue vehicle was idling not far away. He made his way over tiredly, trying not to tic. The passenger window rolled down and Virgil peered at him quizzically, as if trying to decide something. He jerked his head towards the back seat and Logan sighed, pulling the door open. Roman was sitting on the opposite side, looking at his childhood friend with clear concern. Logan eased himself in and pulled the door closed. Patton said nothing, just began driving. Logan clicked his seatbelt on and clicked his tongue. The noise repeated itself several times. He let his head hang loosely forward, trying to relax his tingling muscles. Instead, his whole body twisted and jerked to the right, gasping at the effort, “Hi!” He crowed, blushing furiously. He cradled his head in his hands and muttered an apology. No one responded. Patton pulled into their rental’s driveway and put the car in park. Logan didn’t look up but he could feel the three having a silent conversation over his head. Finally, the car shook slightly as Patton and Virgil climbed out. Logan sighed and followed them, Roman trailing behind him. As he stepped inside, he dropped his bags on the ground and toed his shoes off. Such an act of disorganization was alien to Logan unless he was stressed beyond belief. This was the case tonight. Patton tugged Virgil down the hall into his room. Logan stared after them in confusion, “Alright, Brainiac, c’mere.” Logan turned in just enough time to get a face full of Roman’s chest. The taller man cradled Logan’s head as he hugged him close. Logan stiffened, not necessarily wanting to break, breaking meant ticking and ticking was what had started this mess. Roman massaged the tension in Logan’s sore neck, prodding it gently with his fingers. Despite his best efforts, Logan leaned into the touch and felt his shoulders loosen. Right on cue, he ticked, dislodging Roman’s fingers from his neck. The other man pressed Logan closer, holding his head firmly to prevent him from hurting himself. Logan broke. The frustration and hurt, the fear and the uncontrollable came crashing over him with new vengeance and tears poured from his eyes. Roman shushed him softly, leading him to the sofa with gentle control. Patton and Virgil reemerged with Logan’s favorite sweatshirt and a box of tissues. With some manhandling, they managed to pull Logan’s uniform shirt off and swaddle him in the soft security of the sweater. Roman gently pulled his friend’s glasses off and set them aside. “Sorry.” Logan whispered, still tucked against Roman. Patton shook his head, “Never apologize for something that isn’t your fault, Lo. You don’t have to apologize, especially not to us.” He smiled encouragingly. Virgil snorted, “Yeah, someone else should be apologizing but, because she’s not here, we’re just gonna pretend she fell off a cliff somewhere and can’t bother us anymore.” Logan huffed a laugh as Patton turned a horrified look on the youngest of their group. Roman hummed softly under his breath, continuing to hold Logan close. His body still acted without his consent, tics and jerks ripping through him violently at times but, for the first time that day, it didn’t matter. Roman held his hands when they turned violent (he had bruises on his thighs from the attack earlier) and Patton offered words of encouragement. Virgil was a steady constant, occasionally returning the greetings that Logan chirped, and making sure he didn’t feel alone. The three of them surrounded him with a circle where no one could touch him and no one could hurt him. As exhaustion settled and the spasm of energy faded, Logan allowed himself to sink to sleep, comfortable in the company of those he trusted most.
Notes:
Remember that what people say about you doesn't define you and never apologize for what isn't your fault! Stay strong, peeps and keep being the amazing peeps you are, no matter what he Karens and Nikkis say. I love you!
