Heated Rivalry Made Me Realize I Might Be Trans
Honestly this show... Ilya, Shane and by extension Connor and Hudson just changed my brain chemistry. I've always known my gender was kinda complicated. But! when I watched these gay hockey players just passionately love each other, it unlocked something in my brain. The gender envy was getting crazy. The way ilya would grab Shane's chest. The way their bodies just collide. How they would speak to eacher. How deep their voices go. And just the GAYNESS of it all.
I don't know if anyone felt this way, but it hit me in such a deep way. I cried for TWO HOURS after the finale. I realized that part of me... somewhere... really wanted that. That gender of a queer man? Maybe part of me is that.
To start 2026, i'm planning on going into non flat top surgery. I don't think I can deny who I am anymore. This has been nagging at me for years. I'm still genderfluid. I still have a connection to femineity, but it's again... complicated.
But Heated Rivalry inspired me to try. To not be so scared. I hope any of this made sense. If you get it, please lmk because I feel a little crazy!
I just love this damn hockey yaoi.
