deacon doesn't do feelings. they haven't for years. it's messy, useless, like trying to scoop smoke into one's hands—no traction, no payoff. talking doesn't fix anything; it doesn't bend reality to suit him. it just ... is. and yet, here he is, suspended in the ridiculousness of this encounter, the fleeting novelty of someone else's company that might vanish the second the chill drives them back inside, back to their own worlds. he's tempted to leak a sliver of himself anyway.
mirroring houston, they pivot just enough, the angle calculated, ready to throw a little truth into the void. “ i'm head chef at this fancy ass restaurant, ” he starts, clipped with that habitual edge. “ not that i wanted to be, but they needed one, and i was ... there. and i should act grateful, like i've arrived at some culinary paradise, but it's just ... not. ” their jaw tightens. the day's residue sits heavy in his chest: rich assholes parsing his life choices between courses, critiquing his labor like it was a moral failing. a joke. a bitter, grotesque joke. “ i fucking hate these people. bunch of fuckin' assholes. ” the words taste sharp but necessary. hate is a strong word, sure—but today it fits like leather.
they let it settle, the barest exhale carving a little space in their chest. that's more than they've given in months. more than they meant to. “ anyway, ” their voice is softer now, almost neutral. “ what about you? ”